how will i get through the next four weeks

[rubysmum]

my big beautiful ruby horse is being PTS in february
she is 22, severely arthritic & the vet saw her tonight and basically said there were no more treatment options for her
i cannot take time off school in term time & if I'm being honest will need a few days afterwards so doing it in half term makes sense
she is being buted to keep her comfy & will be loved & spoiled
but i really dont know how I'm going to get through the next few weeks
any hints or tips would be very gratefully received
thanks

 

[HashRouge]

Oh hun
Just love her and spend as much time with her as you can. Make sure she has a good few weeks and try to remember the good times. I'm so sorry, I hoped you might hear something more positive from the vet

 

[SavingGrace]

Enjoy every moment with her honey and know that you are doing what is kindest for her x she will thank you for it x

 

[Fools Motto]

Remember she doesn't know, so she isn't going to be sad. You are doing it for all the right reasons for the horse, so be happy for yourself, you can't do anymore. Take each day as it comes, don't be afraid to cry. Take some mane and put it into a locket for safe keeping, or some tail hairs you can plait into a browband so whatever horse you may own in the future, there will always be Ruby with you.
Many hugs. xxx

 

[touchstone]

Oh you poor thing, I think that if there is one thing worse than doing the deed it is the build up to it so I don't envy you having to wait for four weeks. However that is how it is, so you can make the most of that time to enjoy her, you can take her out for little walks in hand and let her browse the hedgerows, groom her to perfection and just give her lots of hugs and try to keep things as normal as possible routine wise. Take plenty of pics and build a memory box of all your good times together. At the end of the day she won't know what is coming it is you that feels it. I hope these weeks pass quickly and happily for you both xx

 

[kerilli]

so so sorry to hear this. if i may make a suggestion, could you possibly have it done sooner if you had it done on a Friday afternoon/evening and then had the weekend to try to come to terms with it?
i'm not being heartless, although it probably sounds it... but having it hanging over you, knowing that it is coming, is absolutely heart-wrenching, and I think if you wait that long you really will be prolonging your grief to a horrible degree.

 

[Black_Horse_White]

I'm so sorry you are having to put your girl to sleep, just spend as much time with her as you can and remember your doing this for her. (((hugs)))

 

[Moggy in Manolos]

I am very sorry to hear this. All I can say is enjoy every minute you can with her before she has to go *big hugs* x

ETS: I have to agree with Kerilli. My girl was pts on the friday, it was sudden, I had no time to even think about it. I went to work on monday, you manage you know, it does not stop the pain and tears, I still get those but having it hanging over for you for all that time I think would be very hard x

 

[Mrs B]

so so sorry to hear this. if i may make a suggestion, could you possibly have it done sooner if you had it done on a Friday afternoon/evening and then had the weekend to try to come to terms with it?
i'm not being heartless, although it probably sounds it... but having it hanging over you, knowing that it is coming, is absolutely heart-wrenching, and I think if you wait that long you really will be prolonging your grief to a horrible degree.

Very good piece of advice, if you can manage it. You know the decision you have made is the best, kindest one for Ruby; now you need to find a way to make it the best, kindest route for you too. The waiting is so much worse than the doing and (again, I don't mean to sound heartless) the relief you will feel afterwards won't detract from the sorrow but (because you HAVE made the right decision) will make it bearable. The relief, by the way, is normal. Don't let it make you feel bad because it's there.

Whatever you decide to do, many hugs to you.

 

[Fransurrey]

So sorry to hear about your mare. I agree with the suggestion of sooner rather than later. Maybe a Wednesday and arrange with teachers to pass on homework. Hope you're ok. It's a horrible thing to go through. Xx

 

[Holly Hocks]

I lost my boy in October for exactly the same reasons as your horse. I called the vet out on a Friday night knowing in my heart what the vet would say. The vet was fantastic and said that it was "his time". He was PTS there and then. I cried all weekend and then cried at work on Monday, but actually going back to work was the best thing for me as I had other things to concentrate on.
Please don't put it off - it's the worse thing you can do.
My thoughts are with you.x

 

[Magnetic Sparrow]

I delayed having my first horse PTS for three weeks for the same sort of reason. I made sure to spend as much time with him as I could, took pictures, fed treats, that kind of thing. Although I did get a bit weepy at times, once I knew I had a date for the deed to be done I sort of got a routine going and it was ok.

So my advice would be to get the booking with the vet or knackerman sorted out so that there is no possibility of delaying or denying the fact that it is going to happen, and then get on with your own new routine until that day.

You know you are doing the best thing for your horse but, frankly, its still horrible for you. Chin up.

 

[Lu1]

So sorry to hear this. I would bath her and take lots of photos too, even make a video so you have lots of memories, wish I had been able to do that. Sending some big hugs x

 

[kirstys 1]

So sorry xxx

 

[Cinnamontoast]

Oh my sweetheart, I'm so terribly sorry to hear this. I know what you mean about waiting til half term, but quite honestly, it made no difference to me that Boomerang was PTS in half term, I still bawled when I went back to school.

This has made me cry, you poor, poor thing. I'll phone sometime when it's not too hard for you and we're both coherent.

 

[misst]

So sorry to read this. The last few days/weeks are so difficult. I would second bringing the date forward if you can to a Friday and then maybe have the Monday off? I have done "countdown" twice and it was horrible. The first time was 10 days and the second 3 days

Take lots of pictures and spoil your horse rotten. Cry as much as you want. Take mane and tail pieces to remember her by and maybe have a little memento made later. In many ways once it is over it is easier. I hated "the last Monday, Tues, etc" and the last night was horrendous. The advantage is that you get to say goodbye in your own way.

Make sure you have lots of supportive understanding people around you and take advantage of any help you feel might support you.

Lastly, remember you are doing this for her and this is the last, bravest and best thing you will ever do for her. (((hugs))).

 

[NooNoo59]

you are doing that one last thing that we can all do for our horses when their quality of life becomes less that what they deserve, hard thing to do but the best.

 

[Spotsrock]

U will manage for ur girl. It's what we do. When u finish falling apart after, remember the good and smile through ur tears. X

 

[ATrueClassAct]

Oh my god, so so sorry for you. My girls 22 aswell and you just made me tear up. All the best for you, just remember how much she loves you and you love her. You've given her the best life she could possibly want in her old age. Remember all the best times for her. *hugs*

 

[Spellbound13]

I know what your going through, suppose i was lucky as I only had to wait 4 days.

Enjoy every single minuet with her, and just think of it as each day is a day closer to ending her pain and suffering, and soon shell be free to run around again in the great big field in the sky.

your doing the most amazing thing you can ever do for your horse, letting her go and ending her suffering and pain xxx

 

[Pearlsasinger]

So sorry to read this.
I've been there and done that for exactly the same reason. For planned pts we usually try to arrange it for the last Friday of October 1/2 term, just before the winter proper starts. TBH, it doesn't make much difference, except that you can be there without any pressure.
You will get through the next 4 weeks because you know that, as a responsible horse owner, you have decided on this course of action for the horse's benefit and because you don't want her to think that there is anything wrong.
Have you tried magnet boots? If not, I can recommend them to help her get through the next 4 weeks comfortably.
All the best!

 

[rubysmum]

thank you alll so much for your kind words

& at the person who thought that i was a student at school - sadly, i am a very middle aged teacher

i am talking to the hunt this week to agree a date but i want these last few weeks with her to say goodbye

 

[AmyMay]

so so sorry to hear this. if i may make a suggestion, could you possibly have it done sooner if you had it done on a Friday afternoon/evening and then had the weekend to try to come to terms with it?
i'm not being heartless, although it probably sounds it... but having it hanging over you, knowing that it is coming, is absolutely heart-wrenching, and I think if you wait that long you really will be prolonging your grief to a horrible degree.

Sensitive and sensible advice, for you and the horse ((( hugs )))

 

[tristar]

sorry to hear this, but when my dog had a bad heart, i knew it was a matter of time before she went, so i enjoyed every day with her, every day was a bonus that i now treasure, so i think it takes bravery to carry on but it also pays you back so that you can say goodbye and adjust to the idea, which may to some sound drawn out, but when you've been there its only civilised really, and better than a sudden unexpected parting, so be happy with her and and yourself to know she was lucky enough to have had a lovely owner.