How would you feel about this? (Rant)

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Hippomania

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Hi all. I'm a regular poster posting anonymously as I need to rant and don't want to be recognised in real life!

Having worked all weekend, I went up to the yard where I keep my horse on DIY livery, to spend a few relaxing hours grooming, fussing and chilling this lovely mild evening. I brought my horse in from the field and after a while tied up outside the stable to muck out. Someone else was on the yard with her horse, hers was tied the other side of the yard and she was mane-pulling and trimming round the horse's ears.

The other horse (who is usually very well mannered) objected to this and the owner got crosser and crosser. She was yelling at her horse, thumping it in the neck and yanking on the headcollar very roughly. Her horse got so upset it broke free and careered across the yard and collided with mine, who being very nervous panicked and pulled back on the rope.

Neither horse was hurt, but the other horse's owner didn't say sorry, she just grabbed her horse and yelled and yanked at the headcollar more as a punishment. :(

In the end, I put mine back in the field (living out at present, only coming in for short periods) as I feared an accident. I didn't finish what I was doing as I was so wound up at the rough treatment of the other horse and all the shouting was not the peace and quiet I was expecting. I came home feeling cross and resentful.

Am I being a bit precious and expecting too much? Does everyone else just tolerate or find this sort of thing normal on yards?
 
If anyone did this on my yard I would slaughter them - buit then I own my yard and I employ the staff who handle MY horses!

On a livery yard it's totally different. I would probably ******* the owner, tell her she was a waste of space etc etc - but it's probably not worth doing! You'll be labelled a bitch/trouble-maker (because people who are vile with horses are usually vile to people as well!) Forget it - but avoid her (and her poor horse) like the plague!
 
I think we've all had days where we lose it unnecessarily. If the horse is normally well behaved I bet the owner is feeling very guilty too, I would be
 
One person's rough treatment is another person's insistence on manners. On livery yards, it's generally easier to mind your own business.
 
JFTD said:
One person's rough treatment is another person's insistence on manners. On livery yards, it's generally easier to mind your own business.
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Yes, and I do normally. However a horse breaking free and colliding with my own is my business. Also I don't expect a lot of aggressive shouting when I go to enjoy my hobby.
 
Love said:
I think we've all had days where we lose it unnecessarily. If the horse is normally well behaved I bet the owner is feeling very guilty too, I would be
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This, we all loose our cool at times and end up feeling very guilty about it. She should of apologised yes but by the sounds of it she was pretty angry so probably never gave it a second thought.
 
JanetGeorge said:
If anyone did this on my yard I would slaughter them - buit then I own my yard and I employ the staff who handle MY horses!

On a livery yard it's totally different. I would probably ******* the owner, tell her she was a waste of space etc etc - but it's probably not worth doing! You'll be labelled a bitch/trouble-maker (because people who are vile with horses are usually vile to people as well!) Forget it - but avoid her (and her poor horse) like the plague!
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Thanks. Hard to avoid on a very small yard, and we do normally get on well. She has a temper though and I guess her horse was pushing her buttons tonight.

Love said:
I think we've all had days where we lose it unnecessarily. If the horse is normally well behaved I bet the owner is feeling very guilty too, I would be
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It would be nice to think she'll regret it when she's calmed down.

babymare said:
Sadly seen far to often on my previous yard and(reluctantly) i turned blind eye due to the type of people they were :(
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I can understand that.
 
Id prob have punched her, but I'm a bit hot headed in these sorts of occasions so don't listen to me lol!! ;-) I hope you where all ok.x
 
Its her choice to handle her horse how she wants, mine prat about they get a slap, they really prat about they get a proper telling off. Keep your self to yourself, simple.
 
I'm surprised most people on here haven't been arrested for the quantity of people that would kill/hit/punch others
 
I can't turn a blind eye to abusive or unjust behaviour. What action I'd take depends on the situation and the person's personality but probably, I'd go over with a smile and offer to hold the horse so as to diffuse the situation.
Sometimes, when people get angry, a friendly, non judgemental approach helps to calm things down for both horse and owner.
If the person was an employee, I'd probably tell them to get their coat and leave immediately.

OP, you were wise to put your horse back in the field, mine would be upset by witnessing another horse being bullied.
 
I lose it with mine sometimes (though the circumstances have to be extreme). Don't thump them around head etc though...just shout and swear and make them mind !! Doesn't mean they're any less precious to me.

Always feel guilty afterwards though..

Easiest thing to do on livery is keep your beak out, makes for a more pleasant life.
 
Hippomania said:
Yes, and I do normally. However a horse breaking free and colliding with my own is my business.
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True, but accidents like that do happen and are a risk of tying up on a yard. She should have apologised for that.

Hippomania said:
Also I don't expect a lot of aggressive shouting when I go to enjoy my hobby.
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If you choose to stable on a livery yard, you have to accept that other people will be there acting in ways which may not be to your liking. Unless they are actually being abusive (and most wouldn't consider a smack on the neck as abusive), there's very little point dwelling on it. They probably expect to handle their horses as they see fit when they go up to pursue their hobby.
 
wench said:
I'm surprised most people on here haven't been arrested for the quantity of people that would kill/hit/punch others
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Hehe, I often think that :P

In that situation I think I'd be wanting an apology, or at least an "Are you ok?"
I will admit to losing it with the boys sometimes. The last time was when they had a little spat which was a bit too close for comfort. Nothing bad, just grumpy faces and squeals, but I won't have them fighting near me. So, I threw 2 empty water containers at them. Bullseye on both rumps!! This was a few weeks ago, there have been no fights in my presence since!!
However, I wouldn't enjoy seeing cruelty.
 
Hippomania said:
Yes, and I do normally. However a horse breaking free and colliding with my own is my business. Also I don't expect a lot of aggressive shouting when I go to enjoy my hobby.
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I agree completely. I'm afraid she'd have had a few choice words from me. And a complaint to the YO.
 
Some people are dangerous around horses, and the risk is that you will get injured too in any accident that they cause. I wouldn't be satisfied with the lack of apology and the lack of acknowledgement of dangerous behaviour. I think I'm generally quite tolerant of people doing things in different ways on livery yards but there is a level of causing danger that I think you have to act upon. For example, I would never do this but I once gave a child a row for running around a tie up areas when I was clipping my horse's legs - in front of his mother. And I once had a row with a girl who came tottering into the yard in stiletto heels and pushed my horse onto my foot to move him out of the way - no apology, I was lucky not to break my toe and I still suspect she kicked him to get him to move so suddenly.
 
How the other livery chooses to deal with her horse is her business. On a livery yard you do not get to choose who you share with. However she should have apologised for her horse running into yours. I do not see the need for you to tie your horse up outside to muck out, when you were turning out anyway, surely it would have been better for you and your horse, for you to muck out once your animal was back in the field. All this having horses tied up outside while the owner does 'jobs' seems pointless and dangerous to me.
 
I would have to say that she probably just lost it - so manners probably not at top of list at that time. Nevertheless, I would have been upset by that as well. Losing it with a horse just makes the problem worse (at losing it full stop makes the problem worse), so she really was not helping herself. I think you did the right thing to pack up, but I do think if it was to happen again, you might suggest that that approach really is not helping her. Or as another poster suggested give her a hand.
 
wench said:
I'm surprised most people on here haven't been arrested for the quantity of people that would kill/hit/punch others
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Well put, and I often wonder too what these people would really do in real life and not behind the safety of a computer!
I know how the op feels.. I was on a yard with a psycho and her equally psycho mother..Its the fact that you work hard and go there to relax...for me it was a continuous problem with the same people so I moved the horse..(still get the occasional bout of stalking three years on)
Its annoying but if its a one off best just to keep out of the persons way and avoid any attempt at friendship etc as politely as possible. If it becomes a regular thing look for somewhere else. You learn as you get older to limit the time you spend around tossers, life really is to short.
 
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If it is a smallish yard and you know this person has a bit of a temper, I think I would have spoken to her, asking if she needed a hand, before it escalated to a horse breaking free. Just the act of speaking to the other person can diffuse situations.
 
amymay said:
I agree completely. I'm afraid she'd have had a few choice words from me. And a complaint to the YO.
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Thanks. I have complained, and it turns out I'm not the only one.

YorksG said:
How the other livery chooses to deal with her horse is her business. On a livery yard you do not get to choose who you share with. However she should have apologised for her horse running into yours. I do not see the need for you to tie your horse up outside to muck out, when you were turning out anyway, surely it would have been better for you and your horse, for you to muck out once your animal was back in the field. All this having horses tied up outside while the owner does 'jobs' seems pointless and dangerous to me.
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I don't see what my reasons for tying my own horse have to do with it tbh. The arena was in use, and I planned to lunge when it was available. I was using the time to have a clearout of the stable so tied up just outside the door. Also, my horse's fieldmate was being ridden and my horse gets stressed alone so I wanted to avoid this.

I am a mild, friendly person. I can understand a sudden loss of control regretted afterwards but this was over a long period of time and made the yard pretty unbearable to be on. Turns out someone else left too as they couldn't stand the yelling and abuse, and also reported it.

Thankyou for all your thoughts. :)
 
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JFTD said:
One person's rough treatment is another person's insistence on manners. On livery yards, it's generally easier to mind your own business.
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This

Hippomania said:
Yes, and I do normally. However a horse breaking free and colliding with my own is my business. Also I don't expect a lot of aggressive shouting when I go to enjoy my hobby.
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If you don't like a lot of aggressive shouting I'd steer clear of livery yards and horsey women :D

I'd probably just catch my horse, tell her to watch what she's doing, then get on with my own stuff and not give it another thought.
 
Hard to say as we weren't there.

I normally don't say anything to other liveries as it makes for better barn relations, but there is always a line somewhere. At one yard I was on a few years ago, a fellow livery's horse escaped from his field. He had a habit of this, as he thought a zap or two from the electric fence was worth it for the grass on the other side. On seeing the horse out of his field, livery stormed up to him with headcollar in hand, caught him, dragged him angrily to the barn where she tied him as short as she could to the tie ring, and proceeded to shout at him and wallop him with the other end of the lead. Myself and another livery witnessing all this stopped her, saying, "What the *hell* are you doing?" She said, "Punishing him for escaping!" We replied, "There's no way he's gonna associate you wailing on him now with him escaping half an hour (or whenever) ago." Her reply? "Do you know why the horses in the army parades are so well behaved? If they don't behave, they tie them out for three days without food or water."

Some people should really only have pet rocks.
 
Patterdale said:
If you don't like a lot of aggressive shouting I'd steer clear of livery yards and horsey women :D
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You and I rarely disagree :p

But I don't think that's a fair assessment. I've never been on a yard with aggressive, shouting woman. And I don't accept that it's part and parcel of keeping your horse at livery.
 
Hippomania said:
Yes, and I do normally. However a horse breaking free and colliding with my own is my business. Also I don't expect a lot of aggressive shouting when I go to enjoy my hobby.
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Then buy your own yard or rent one you can't be in control of other peoples noise levels .
 
While you can't control other peoples noise levels I don't think it's an unreasonable request to not have someone shouting and screaming while you are trying to enjoy your hobby.

If it was golf/tennis/the gym people wouldn't put up with someone screaming at the equipment.
 
Hippomania said:
Yes, and I do normally. However a horse breaking free and colliding with my own is my business. Also I don't expect a lot of aggressive shouting when I go to enjoy my hobby.
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you cant expect people to be quite when your at yard ,,,,,,,,,,,
maybe you need your own yard
although i would have expected a apology on collision of horses !
 
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