How would you feel?

S

Sheri

Well-Known Member
Joined
16 March 2009
Messages
339
Location
South Wales
Visit site
I arrived at the DIY yard where I have kept my horses for 4 years with no problems at all (always singing yards praises - until now!) as I walked towards the field I witnessed my 'friend' shooing, waving her hands around my horses head, and walking up to him rather quickly with her hands by her waist palms facing forwards and walloping him in the shoulder, belly & side - I was the other side of the yard when I spotted this and first looked up as I heard the noise of a rug being slapped along with shouting and kksssss kksssss.

I'm not sure why but I did stand there quite shocked for about a minute trying to work out who it was, I reconised them when they turned around to do it to a further 2 horses (so much so that the 'gate bully' was tucked around the corner away from the gate)

It stopped when I was noticed and I promptly went in a collected my horse, upon my best mate arriving at the gate (she owns the gate bully!) she asked where he was, I replied hiding around the corner as they all just been beaten - this provoked the offender and her sister to start a screaming match informing me that he was only pushed and this was because he was barging at the gate(where there is electric fence!) After my first row on a livery yard ever I was totally shaken as was my horse (I also have Bipolar so don't really do confrontation).

The horse that was being brought in was giving the owner grief because she stepped on the electric fencing 2 weeks ago due to my mare pulling away from me and me dropping is (it doesn't reach up the field!) so apparently its totally my fault any of it happened and I should grow up (as told to me by a 16yr old and a 20ish year old) When attempted to provoke a further argument by telling me to do something about it (I am not common I do not fight!) I took the adult approach and reported it to the yard owner who said if I have a problem move! Do I have a problem with someone hitting my horse well funny enough I do!!

Maybe I should explain why the shock was so great!!

My horse is a 14.2 Arab gelding who is bloody annoying to get in as he is at the bottom of the pecking order and won't come near the gate until its totally clear (or I drag him through!) he is very slight, not shod, and is sulking at the moment as my mare who he has grazed and used for protection for the last 10 years is away for training! If you smack this horse he will ignore you for days, he very rarely gets smacked, as he is a little lamb.

Now I feel like pooh, and suffered a panic attack following the whole saga my friend is now doing my horse until I can find another yard :(

Sorry for the long post - although I do feel a lot better for getting it off my chest.
 
At this time of the year, horses are starting to really want in and hence accumulate around the gate late afternoon/tea time when they expect to get in.
Barging, pushing and just generally not wanting to move from the gates is common.

I am both on the receiving end of this and my horses also do it to others.
The only way to get your horse out sometimes and through the gate is to shoo others away, how far you have to go doing this depends on the horse in question.

I've 3 in one paddock along with others, and I often have to push my own back, and if they refuse to move I can't just stand there so have to give them a slap to the chest and firmly say back!

I think the 2 girls in question could have asked your horse to move in a better manner, but they are not wrong in asking your horse to move to get their own horse out of the paddock.

I also think your YO isn't up to much, just telling you to move if you have a problem is poor management. You could have all so easily sat down, discussed the issue and if need be gone into the field to show how your horse can be moved out of the way in a way you approve of.

I sympathise from the point of view you dont do confrontation, and obviously this has really upset you, but not now looking after your horse and getting your friend to do it I feel is a bit of an over the top reaction.
I think you would be far better off going back to the yard and dealing with the issue, and taking care of your horse x
 
Sheri said:
I took the adult approach and reported it to the yard owner who said if I have a problem move! Do I have a problem with someone hitting my horse well funny enough I do!!


.
Click to expand...

I would be so peed off at the YO's response to this that I would consider it as YO giving me notice (and put that in writing to him/her) and as soon as I found an alternative yard I'd be off without giving my notice.

I am a stroppy cow though and tend to act before I engage brain without thought to the consequences.
 
guido16 said:
Sorry to hear about this but I am afraid you are going to have to toughen up a bit.

Why are you getting your friend to do your horse?
Click to expand...

My friend and I always go to the yard together and often do each others. Due to me not being able to ride any more after breaking my back earlier this year and her horse being retired, she rides mine at weekends.

I do not wish to return to the yard until the weekend when I move off due my Bipolar I do not cope well with confrontation and as I have only just been well enough to return to work after a total breakdown I really do not want to put myself into a situation that could spark off another attack/ depressive episode. My horses are a major part of my well being and I have always managed to stay out of yard politics before and intend to continue this way.

If my horse was the type to push at the gate which he is not I would have no problem is anyone pushing him back but I do take offence to anyone hitting him.
 
enfys said:
I would be so peed off at the YO's response to this that I would consider it as YO giving me notice (and put that in writing to him/her) and as soon as I found an alternative yard I'd be off without giving my notice.

I am a stroppy cow though and tend to act before I engage brain without thought to the consequences.
Click to expand...

your totally right, we basically have a week to move off, which isn't a problem as I found somewhere today (its not fantastic but we are on a waiting list for a fab yard with alot of other members from our current yard)

TBH even if we weren't given notice I would have given mine!
 
Sheri said:
My friend and I always go to the yard together and often do each others. Due to me not being able to ride any more after breaking my back earlier this year and her horse being retired, she rides mine at weekends.

I do not wish to return to the yard until the weekend when I move off due my Bipolar I do not cope well with confrontation and as I have only just been well enough to return to work after a total breakdown I really do not want to put myself into a situation that could spark off another attack/ depressive episode. My horses are a major part of my well being and I have always managed to stay out of yard politics before and intend to continue this way.

If my horse was the type to push at the gate which he is not I would have no problem is anyone pushing him back but I do take offence to anyone hitting him.
Click to expand...

You're right to move if you being Bipolar has such an affect on you.
I hope your move goes smoothly, I definitely think you dont need anymore stress !! x
 
My boy is at the bottom of the pecking order too, so if anyone hit him I would want to know why, as he is no trouble, and is always at the back of the group, or he gets kicked at. I sometimes have issues getting him out the field because of this and have to do lots of shoooooing of the other horses, but would never hit anything! You are right to be upset especially by the YO response.
Everyone on our yard is lovely, and if they had an issue with my horse when getting their horse in, they would tell me. I always tell others when their horse has been a nightmare, although we always end up laughing at what they got up to this time, some of the horses are real cheeky and you can't be mad at them for too long :rolleyes:.
 
It's good you have found a new yard so quickly.
I was on a terrible yard earlier this year. The other liveries lovely, the yard owner, maintenance person, yard manager and helper needed certifying!!! I moved to somewhere i would never have done if the yard manager had not pushed me into leaving - it is the best move i have ever made.
The other liveries are now leaving due to the very strange people that run the place. I was sorry to be leaving the other liveries at the time but i have not been so happy in years - and neither have my horses.
Good luck with your move, i always say things happen for a reason
 
I dont think it is as bad as you think.

Sometimes you do have to shoo other horses away, giviing them a nudge or light "slap" is sometimes what it takes to get them to move.
Obviously i dont mean being cruel or to a horse but you have to make them listen.

I think the girls shouldnt have been so rude and could have explained things better but depending on how they handled the sitiation i dont thing they really did much wrong.
 
blucanoo1990 said:
I dont think it is as bad as you think.

Sometimes you do have to shoo other horses away, giviing them a nudge or light "slap" is sometimes what it takes to get them to move.
Obviously i dont mean being cruel or to a horse but you have to make them listen.

I think the girls shouldnt have been so rude and could have explained things better but depending on how they handled the sitiation i dont thing they really did much wrong.
Click to expand...

Exactly what I think!

We have our own horses at home, and although I love them to bits, they do get light smacks and pushes to organise them at the gate.

Its the fact that you were goaded to argue when you have bi-polar, and it may make you ill that is the worry here.
 
I don't think shes overreacting really, she said her horse wasn't pushing at the gate so they shouldn't have hit it. At our yard my horse is usually at the back and doesn't like to come near the front if they are all crowing the gate so I sometimes shoo the other away, but I only wave my arms or push them if they don't move, I don't go smacking them.

Good luck with the new yard :)
 
blucanoo1990 said:
I dont think it is as bad as you think.

Sometimes you do have to shoo other horses away, giviing them a nudge or light "slap" is sometimes what it takes to get them to move.
Obviously i dont mean being cruel or to a horse but you have to make them listen.

I think the girls shouldnt have been so rude and could have explained things better but depending on how they handled the sitiation i dont thing they really did much wrong.
Click to expand...


I agree with this....I used to be on a livery yard when at bringing in time it was quite often a bit hair-raising. I persnally have no objection to any of my horses being shoo-ed away, pushed away, slapped on their shoulder or bum if they are in the way and/or making a nuisance of themseleves. The safety of people comes first I'm afraid.....

However....if I found anyone hitting on the face/head then I would be really angry. I once saw someone waving a leadrope in my old horses face as he stood dozing fairly near the gateway. That was out of order IMO- he wasn't making a nuisance of himself-he was asleep FFS:mad:
 
Oh come on, if your horse is at the back of a group crowding the gateway, you can't exactly say, excuse us you lot and expect them to do a parting of the Red Sea. I'm sick to death of other people's rude and undisciplined horses barging me flat on my face in the mud when I'm trying to get mine though and you bet I wave my arms and shoosh very loudly at them, and fully expect mine to get the same if she won't shift. I'm even guilty of slapping them on the neck or shoulder which could hardly be described as beating them - get real. I'm lucky because my girl comes when she is called and I can hold the gate open and keep the others back while she walks though without me having to lead her, but I've plenty of experience of potentially very dangerous situations leading other people's horses through the melee - once you are on one side of them you can't see what is going on on the other side or behind and you can be in the middle of a kicking match or over-excited stampede in seconds.

Heat and kitchens springs to mind.
 
Hmm, obviously none of us were there so only have your descripton of what went on to go off. Personally it doesn't sound to me that the person trying to get the horses out the way was doing anything particularly bad TBH. From how you describe what she was doing it acually sounds to me she was trying to move said horses in a fairly sensible manner. Now, had she been in there with a whip waving and shouting at them and striking with a whip or indeed slapping the horses round their faces THEN I would not have been happy. I think people's opinions on handling horses differ and that's where these mis-understandings can happen. Personally I'd have probably gone in an offered to give them a hand as opposed to just watching and then grumbling about it later.

At the end of the day whether your horse is top or bottom of the pack with regards to the horse hierarchy they still need to understand the human is ultimately the one in charge. I have a youngster who is right at the bottom of the herd but he therefore like to try it on with us instead so he will get arms waved at him and be made to step back away if he's invading my personal space. After all, a dominant horse would move him in a much more agressive way than I can!!!

As for the arguement though - no, they were not right to goad you into this but, they are as you say only essentially teenagers and are they aware of your mental state? I would assume not. I imagine they were just being defensive as are all teenagers as they don't like to be told they are wrong.

If you wish to move yards then so be it but I think thgis seems to have been blown out of proportion. As for the YO's reaction, without knowing them it's hard to comment, were they having a bad day, do people constantly come running to them to complain about others? If so, I could maybe say why she/he made that comment. Although not exactly professional, at the end of the day i guess they probably just want a quiet life.
 
I would just like to say I sympathise with you suffering from bipolar. It is an awful awful condition and for people to say get a grip and get over it, they have no understanding what so ever of how the illness affects people and that is cruel (wont do any bipolar sufferer's current state any favours).

If getting your friend to do your horse will make you better then so be it. Moving off the yard is a good idea, but have you though about moving somehwere where there is individual turnout or small group turnout etc?? This may accomodate you more.

However, I certainly would wave my arms and push horses back from a gate as I do not want to be caught in the middle of a punch up, have done before and my leg was almost snapped through! I would not use excessive harm toward one though! As agreed with another comment, horses would ask each other to move in a non polite way, so we do need to be firm! I am lucky as I have the option to keep my two in their own paddock!

Good luck and I hope you settle somewhere you are comfortable with, try and stick with it :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top