HUGE RANT!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe she did that...!!!! ANNOYED

[samsaccount]

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO annoyed beyond words that i am shaking and could quite possibly cry right now....as some of you may have read with my previous post about a livery (Stable Yard) things seem to have got slightly worse.

I sent her a letter since this is the only way she is willing to contact me with (or so it seems) to trys to avoid talking to me as much as possible and does not return my texts she is also moving house and not informed me of her new address or even that she was moving i had to hear about it from someone else. The letter was asking if she required me to do anything with her horse (feed/bring in/much out/etc) as she is 8-9 months pregant and the letter was polite as i informed her what my plans were for my horse, what time he will be turned out and what time i will be home after college/work and what he is to be wormed with next, if she wanted any shavings as mine is on shavings, how much they cost, etc. and she replied (in my opinion very rudley by saing....."i will NOT be wanting you to do this/or this/or this/or this/and so on and so forth.....NOT was in capitals, underlined and in bold. I don't see why she had to empasise the word, as it was repeated in the same form every time the word was used.

I understand that she has every right to do everyting herself obviously and have her own routein for her horse but my horse will be turned out at 6ish in the morning, a number of times she does not turn up until past 11 to check her horse....so my horse will be left stressing out because she she wants to do it all, i have told her why i woudl prefer it if they were turned out and brought in together but i am not prepared to leave them inside until she decides to turn up, if she is rushed to hospital no-one would think to check the horses!

** it gets worse**

she then tells me both horses were wormed seveal months ago.....I WAS NOT INFOMRED ABOUT THIS WORMING SHE NEVER TOLD ME SHE WAS PLANNING TO WORM THEM AND NEVER TOLD ME SHE HAD WORMED THEM UNTIL TONIGHT!!! and the wormed had apparently been administrated in october.

She then goes on and i quote "I would also prefer it if you did not adminster any wormer or medicine to my hose at any time. As I want to do this myself and only with the advice of a vet"

Granted that is totaly understandable but she does not want me to worm her horse but it totaly happy to worm my horse and never ******* tell me about it!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am SO annoyed it is unbeleivable!!!!! sorry i may be overreacting on some part i dunno. Granted it was only a wormer but she gave my horse a "drug" and never told me about it!!

 

[annaellie]

To me its not very good if she does not answer your calls what would happen if the horse became ill or hurt. I would of loved to have someone like you when I was pregnant I had to run round sorting full liv out for my horses she should be gratefull that you are being the wat you are I know I WOULD

 

[filly190]

As I said in my previous post to you, get rid of her and have someone nice that fits in.

 

[JustKickOn]

to be honest, i think you need to tell her to find another place to keep her horse and find a new livery person. she has been unacceptably rude as you made a very good offer as you didnt have to. seeing as she has a time keeping problem i would say she is also unreliable!

hope my veiws helped, though i doubt they did! sorry

Lizzie

x

 

[Weezy]

Ummmmm well sorry it isnt her prob that your horse stresses if out alone - if she is preg and wants interaction with her horse then of course she will want the horse to be in the stable rather than in the field, due to her pregnancy and safety reasons I would think - best thing for you is to try and organise a change in field for your horse so he isnt stressing

She may think that you have come across as a bt of a control freak (not saying you are) and being preg she could well feel that her life is being taken over from her control (believe me you do feel like that) and this is one thing she does not want to surrender control of

As for worming, no, that should have been discussed with you as it was out of order

I think this is a lose-lose situation, so try and resolve the turn out issue with others

Good Luck!

 

[Salcey]

I know you were worried about losing the extra money, but she sounds such a pain in the a**e.
As anna25 said I would have been very glad to have someone offer to help when I was pregnant.
I can't believe how someone could worm a horse and not tell the owner, its just crazy. It sounds as though a face to face talk is the only answer and fingers crossed you'll be able to resolve the issue.

 

[samsaccount]

thanks for all your advice, i am certainly considering asking her to leave if things are not improved when i speak to her next. i agree weezy that it is not her problem that my horses becomes stressed out i think it is just the fact i don't like the idea that her horse may not be turned out with him for at least 5 hours or so, i agree it is much safer for her to bond with her when she is in the stable but when she comes down to the yard she is here for half an hour and hour max and for her not to turn up until late morning even when she wasn't pregnant just got to me that her horse will be couped up on her own until she turns up, both horses can get slightly stressy as they are only used to each other company

well i hopfully didn't come across as controling as i just told her what i was doing with my horse and asked if she wanted me to do any i just didn't expect her to reply in the manner which she did do

unfortunatly finding another livery is not possible as no-one else local has a horse which is not already stabled. the liverys we have had in the past have come when they bought a pub across from us and had a horse/horses with them so i doubt we would get any other liverys for a while. other wise i would consider looking for one

the mare was supposed to move when the liverys mum moved downsouth but she stayed because she woudln't load and she got herself very worked up and she is in her late 20 so it was decided she could stay her, so technicaly she shouldnt be here and until she moved the livery in question didn't have anything to do with the mare it was me and her mum who looked after her so it just annoyed me that i have helped look after her when she had no interest and now when i offer to help because i know she has a baby on the way she seemed rude to me and doesn't even inform me that she wormed my horse but they told me not to give her horse anything...........


okay probbaly just repeated myself several million times sorry i do appologise for all of this

 

[esports]

I would be livid someone worming my horses without my consent.

Sometimes helping someone when they need it can be thrown back in your face when you are only trying to be nice.

Judging by what you have written there must have been some sort of helping one another at one point, maybe you have done too much and its getting to her lately and she feels like she has lost control (like other poster put), she will be sad enough about her horse whilst she's preggas, she will probably have sleepless nights at the mo wondering how she is going to fit all this into her lifestyle?

why are you so bothered about this person and her horse?
why cant you just sort your own out?

thats the bit i cant really understand, sorry about that, dont want to sound harsh, cant you just let her do her own horse? this way you wont really need to have anything to do with her anymore or will you?

Yep, be mad about the wormer but honestly, to relieve yourself from all the other things that are stressing you out, just stuff it!!

 

[samsaccount]

Just because she is the only person who is stabled with us and what she does with her horse will some what effect my horse and to an extent myself, and like i have said before i have done a lot of the looking after of her horse before she was even pregnant and don't like the fact that she turns up late afternoon to check especially when they live quite local. I just don't see that she will spend more time with the horse especially since they are moving house and have a baby on the way, i can see it all falling back onto me. I don't have anything to do with her anyways as she randomly turns up at the yard usualy after i have gone inside but even running into each other a few times every two weeks seems to much or at least for her, she came round to give me the rent and didnt even look at me she just handed it to me and got in the car and drove off....hence why i think i have done something (this was before i had even mentioned helping her)

I can understand if she feels out of control but she just seems to have a huge problem with me and i don't see why, fair do's if she doesn't want me to do anything for her but it is the way she goes about it that gives me the impression she has a problem. But my mum told me that she had told her her husband will be doing all the mucking out and brining in etc yet she told me she was doing it all, just seems she can't be straight with me...

But the thing that has gotten to me the most is the worming thing i really am motified that she never told me, two months down the line and no word until tonight i have no idea if he had the correct dosage or even if it was the correct wormer as i wormed them last and since she wasnt involved with the horse at that point she wasn't informed what wormer it was, so unless she was told by her mum what they we wormed with it could have been the same wormer i don't know. Sorry but i know if i had wormed her horse without asking or even telling her afterwards she would have ripped my head off

Don't worry if you can sound as harsh as you want it is your opinion and i am happyto have as many as possible regardless of whether it is harsh or not.

 

[sleepingdragon10]

Good god,it's none of your bloomin business when she turns up to do her horse,or up to you how long she spends with it

When you're pregnant,especially so far along,it takes alot out of you to be doing much of anything,so an hour for her probably feels like an absolute age.

On the worming issue it's pretty clear cut,she shouldn't have wormed your horse.

But,HER horse is HER concern.Back off and leave her to it.

BTW.....is it YOUR livery yard then?Given that YOU are going to ask her to leave?

 

[samsaccount]

Ok sorry TinselDragoon

 

[AmyMay]

I would ask her to leave. Give her a months notice. She either plays by your rules or she goes elsewhere simple.

If she intends you to do NOTHING for the horses, and she herself is not in a position to tend to their needs daily who will??

Remember, if these horses become neglected it will be you who will be prosecuted.

Get rid of her. There are plenty of nice people out there desperately looking for nice places to keep their horses. You would fill her space in a flash, with much more pleasant people.

 

[TGM]

I'm a bit confused about the situation - if it is YOUR yard and this woman is YOUR livery then you have every right to dictate what goes on in your yard.

If she is just someone you share facilities with and you both pay livery to someone else, then it is not your concern what she does with her own horse, although you have every right to be angry about what she does to YOUR horse (ie worming it without your permission or knowledge).

If it is YOUR yard, then I suggest you give her a written livery contract stating the terms and conditions. You could also state that a term of the livery is that your horses are turned out and brought in at the same time and you are happy to do this yourself for a small fee, or she is welcome to do the turning out/bringing in herself as long as it is done by X time.

I would also lay out your worming programme and say that her horse has to be wormed at the same time as your own with the same product. Again, she would be welcome to buy and administer the wormer herself, but she must fit in with your worming programme and NEVER, EVER administer wormer or medication to your horse again without your permission.

You could state that unless she is willing to agree to the above conditions she will have to find somewhere else to keep her horse - although it would only be fair to give her a decent notice period.

 

[samsaccount]

The place is owned by my dad but he lets me make the decisions and sort everything out. But maybe tinsel is right and shouldnt have anythng to do with her as it is her horse. I did also lay a worming program out this was after she had wormed my horse but she still didn't say he had been wormed.

 

[wizzi901]

ok worming your horse was wrong. Shoudnt happen.

BUT, if she is keeping her horse at yours at livery so to speak, unless there were any conditions when she joined you, its up to her when she turns out, turns up etc etc.

If you need another horse to babysit yours then you need to get a companion, you cannot rely on this lady to provide "your needs", she is keeping horse there for her pleasure not to accommodate you.

Not meaning to sound harsh but, I have a daughter of 7, 3 horses and work full time. Fortunately my YO has built me 3 new stables in another part of the yard as they are generally left in later (old one would love to just live in permanantly!). Some people get concerned but ultimately a friend feeds them, so I can sort daughter out, they are given hay until I arrive.

Sometimes I can get there early if daughter is elsewhere, but sometimes not, and they have to fit in around me. If this lady is pregnant, trust me its not easy and horses will be something she has to "fit in"!!

Either ask her to leave, or let her enjoy her horse at the times that suit her. I'd go absolutely nuts is someone asked me to t/o my lot to suit them!!

Maybe you would be better to get a companion horse then you can do what you like with it etc to suit your needs?

 

[Theresa_F]

If I were you I would ask her to leave as things are obviously not right between you. I think it is too late to start laying down livery rules which should have been done at the outset.

Then get a small pony as a companion for your horse, that way you have control of when horses are turned out, wormed etc.

If I were at livery, I would not expect to have to turn out my horse to suit another person unless I was getting free or very cheap livery in return. As others have said, it is not her problem that your horse is out alone, and if he does stress and you have the facilities, having a second horse yourself will resolve your problems.

 

[WelshRareBit]

I agree I would just get rid of her - more trouble than she's worth! You are being so helpful and nice and she is being a right pain !
x

 

[siennamiller]

just to add my twopennorth
I am pregnant and IMHO it is no excuse, my horse is out first thing and in last thing and is looked after exactly then same as before I got Pregnant (except for no exercise)
If she can't cope with him then she should get someone else to help?? Poor horse should not be left in all hours of the day just because of that and your horse especially should not be suffering because of it
xx

 

[torzay]

I have to agree with Tinsel Dragon, my father owns a small yard but I make sure that everyone on that yard do what they want, and when they want (within reason) to avoid issues such as this cropping up. I know it all sounds harsh but I would think that she is just trying to sort herself out at the moment especially moving and having a baby....if you cant get your head around it then she will have to be asked to move on...which probably sounds the best option !!!

 

[the watcher]

In your shoes I would write back..change the terms of her arrangement to assisted DIY so that you can turn her horse out at times to suit you. If she doesn't like it she can move the horse..there is always another client!

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

The situation between you & the livery has become intolerable. It is your yard & should be run as you want. I would definately give her notice and ask her to leave. I would imagine it wioll not be long before someone ill takeup your facilities.

 

[samsaccount]

I admit now i step back and think about it i am been very unreasonable wanting her to turn her horse out to suit my horses needs so mine will just have to live with it. It is more the fact i woudln't want the horse to be in a stable until she decides to turn up. I just think it would be best if the horse has some sort of routein such as been turned out at a time and brought in at a time, as there is nothing stopping her from fetching the horse in during the day to spend time with her, and i am at the yard before them she would be in the stable when she turns up to feed her etc. I don't want to ask her to leave especially since she is so far along in her pregnancy. I just dont want it to alll fall onto me on an unexpected moment if something happens or when she has the baby, i mean if she expects me not to do anything with her horse (fair enough) and she goes into labour in the morning her husband is not exactly going to leave her to come turn the horse out so she will be suck inside ok maybe i am thinking too much into it.

so maybe i should just leave her to it so she is happy as like i have said don't think it is too fair asking her to find somwhere else now and since she is paying she should be happier about the situation that me i guess

 

[_Jazz_]

Hi Imperium
I am shocked at some peoples replies to this post

Comments along the lines of ' it is her horse, her time etc' show no thought to her horses welfare. You appear to being pro active and polite in order to prevent a possible welfare issue. I sincerely hope she will not expect her new baby to wait until 11 am or later for his/her breakfast etc

In my opinion this needs to be sorted now, she is pregnant afterall and not sick and she needs to inform you who will be looking after her horse. This is basic good manners.
My rant over, for now!
Caz

 

[Weezy]

Hang on a second - as far as I have read it does not say ANYWHERE that the horse is without feed

Nothing wrong with a horse going out a bit later or indeed at all if it suits the owner - so long as the horse has access to water and forage then where is the welfare issue?

 

[esports]

where in the original post is there a statement that says the horse is neglected in any way, the horse is either turned out full time or stabled isnt it so whats wrong with that?

ive seen horses stuck in stables all day until about 7.30pm at night at some livery yards!

just because the livery chooses not to turn up to check on her horse at a designated certain time of day doesnt mean shes neglecting her horse does it? so she hasnt been turning up at 11 am(given as an example) to check her ned, so what, surely she can go when she likes (daily i assume), especially when its turned out grazing?

if she aint a suitable livery then maybe its a bout time she left, like everyone else has said, or maybe start imposing some rules to make it unbearable for her to be there so she moves off anyway?

 

[annaellie]

I agree with esports34 plenty of people on livery dontturn up till evening, and it is her horse to turn out when she likes. But she needs to be polite enough to inform on whats going on as I said earlier if someone offered help to me when I was pregnant I would of snapped it up If she has other arragements then she should politely say so.

 

[gnubee]

Whilst you cant expect her horse management to suit you all the time, it is your field and your stables, and if part of the reason for you having someone else there is to provide companionship for your horse then there is no reason why she should not conform to that requirement. Sure you should have set out what you required from each other before she started keeping her horse with you, but there is no reason why that cant be remedied now.
If your horse needs companionship in the field then there is nothing wrong with you saying so, and saying that if hers isnt out by X time then you will put them both out. Equally, however, she is probably not going to be prepared to pay for that service (or may not be prepared to accept it at all, but if its your field and something you need then you have every right to say so and let her decide whether to stay or not).
Similarly, you need coordinated worming schedules for the health of both horses, so if she doesnt want you to do it for her, find out what her schedule for the next 6 months / year is, and agree that you will each worm your own horses with Z on X date.
Although you are providing a service for which she is paying you, there is nothing wrong with you having requirements too; she can choose not to pay you and go elsewhere if she doesnt like it.

 

[samsaccount]

Gnubee, we have a worming system both mine and hers (and her mums when she boarded her horse with me also) have had the samr routein for the past few years and i told the person in question that i will write her up the worming program (since she was not involved with the horses at this point) but she didn't wait until i gave her the worming program she just wormed them and i gave her the program shortly after but was never informed that she had already wormed them. Just seemed like she didn't trust me to keep up with worming my own horse.

 

[Tia]

I've read this a couple of times and haven't replied until now.

The way I read this is that BOTH of you have something to gain here and BOTH of you have something to lose if the other were not there.

You need her to pay you extra income. You say there aren't others around to fill her place, therefore you really do need her a fair amount. You also need her there to provide some sort of companionship to your horse.

She needs you but not in the same way. If she were to leave I'm sure there would be lots of other places for her to go....but maybe not, in which case she needs you as much as you need her. Perhaps her horse needs companionship, perhaps not.

What she does with her horse isn't really your concern, unless you stipulate it in your T&C's, but then this seems so wrong to me to impose this sort of thing on another. If she doesn't come up and do the horse till mid-morning then so long as the horse is used to it, has hay and water, then I can't see what is wrong with this. It may not be the way we do things, but that doesn't really make it wrong; just different.

I think her worming your horse is totally out of order! And yes I would say something to her, however it seems strange that you have a worming schedule and she wormed back in October but you are only now considering worming? Does this mean that you also wormed the horses in October? And is she aware of that you wormed her horse? This part does really not lie easily with me - something is not right here.

I think things may have popped out of sync for you both but I don't think it is a big deal and I think if you were both to have a good talk about it, you may be able to experience the others perspective on the situation.

 

[JustKickOn]

personally, i think you need to contact her nd arrange to meet up, and civilly (sp??) sort out some sort of routine between you. i am only 14 and have no experience of ANY of this livery stuff as i do not own a horse, but i think it would atleast be decent if you had some information details as to her house and other contacts in case of an emergency, im her horses sake, and in her case! and vice versa. i thin it was wrong that she wormed your horse though, especially as she didnt tell you. you both need to sort yourselves out and sort a rota or something like that out to her. you could also remind her about who is going to look after her horse if she can't get there for a week, though i hope if that happened you would take matters into your own hands!!

good luck

Lizzie =] x