I Am Totally Disgusted With Myself

[randira]

I have the most wonderfull goey little five year old mare who tries her heart out for me but can, at times be a bit of a sod and a bit over-exhuberant..

Wen't out for a hack today and she was FULL of it, which was ok for a bit but I started to get a bit fed up of the jigg-jogging and shying at everything. I have a lot on my plate at the moment and am having trouble thinking straight, but it is no excuse. I totally lost my temper with her. I really whipped her and she panicked into a hedge and has cut her nose. I feel distraught with what I have done after she has put all her trust in me. There was me riding back to the yard in tears with a horse covered in foam sweat and welts and a bloody nose. I dont know if she will ever forgive me, I cried all the way home. I know a lot of you are going to rip me apart for this but its nothing to how bad I feel. Just had to get it off my chest. Hopefully she will forgive me in time, I just hope I havent done any lasting damage.

 

[Natalie_H]

I know how you feel - I lose my temper sometimes with my TB & feel so guilty afterwards because it achieves nothing - I am fortunate that he is a defiant little beast & it has no real lasting effect on him. Don't beat yourself up about it. It happens to the best of us. She will forgive you!!!

 

[Weezy]

I am not going to to rip you apart, shite happens and sometimes we snap - I have a question tho - how did she behave AFTERWARDS??

I once galloped my mare backwards and forwards for a matter of hours throgh thick deep mud as she kept pulling for home and I really had to flog her to keep her going when she was fed up - bt ho hum she was a wonderful horse to me until she died so fear not, I am sure she will continue trust you ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

 

[TGM]

Sorry to hear this Randira. But at least you have been honest about what happened and I suspect from what you have written that you will make sure you it doesn't happen again. Sometimes I think it is better not to ride at all if you are in a lousy mood.

I'm sure she will forgive you - it is one negative incident against hundreds of positive experiences she must have had with you. From seeing her jumping on Tuesday she is obviously a happy and trusting mare, even if she is rather lively at times!

 

[Salcey]

Your only human - it takes b*lls to post this. I'm sure she'll forgive you try not to beat yourself up too much. It shows the type of person you are cause at least you felt awful afterwards. I'd be more worried if you didn't have a care afterwards.

 

[MagicMelon]

Im sure everyone loses their temper but as horse owners you must learn to deal with it appropriately. One of my horses is stroppy and can be a pig to ride sometimes but if he's having one of those days I simply get off and lunge instead or go for a walk round the fields. I have never got in such a frenzy that I have whipped my horse badly though. If you've had a bad day - do NOT ride. Whats the point because you'll only put the horse in a bad mood straight away as well!

You know what you did was very very wrong and I think you SHOULD beat yourself up about it because it then means hopefully you'll try harder next time to control your temper. Im sure she will have lost some trust in you, but horses are very forgiving animals (sometimes too much so!) so she will trust you again but only if you keep a top on your temper in future.

 

[casey2312]

Oh be-jesus, i'm sure most of us have lost our temper and gone over the top. I certainly have. The key is to move on and learn from it.

 

[Tia]

She will already have forgotten about the smack, so don't work yourself up about this. Horses really don't think like us humans and particularly if this was a one-off then she certainly won't bear any grudge towards you.

These things happen from time to time - horse will be fine. As someone else suggested; don't ride if you are in a strange mood, better just to do something else with the horse instead.

 

[Pidge]

Pointless ripping shreds off you when you've done that yourself! Takes guts to admit you've overstepped the mark with your horse, however I would be concerned if you weren't bothered by what you've done. You know what you did was wrong but don't cut yourself up about it one thing we can't change is the past, but you can change the future. As others have said if in a bad mood DO NOT RIDE, I have in the past and its always a mistake, so now if I am really p*****d off I just either do the horses as quick as poss or spend some time with them, depends just how p*****d off I am on which I do. I always feel guilty when I've told Pidge off whether he deserved it or not! I suppose it's because we love them that we then feel bad when we've told them off. Try not to dwell on it, go up to see her tonight and spend some quality time with her grooming her, scratching her in her favouite spot etc basically make your peace with her. They are forgiving animals and I'm sure she won't hold it against you. Chin up honey xxx

ETS: and remember no one is perfect we all have bad days we are only human after all!

 

[not_with_it]

We all lose our temper at times and Im sure I can speak for most people saying we have all done something which we regret.

 

[randira]

No, I've not done this before - i just thought going for a ride would be the thing to cheer me up but it totally back fired. I am still really ashamed and will never ever do it again. Never normally even carry a whip so dont know why i did today.

I will sort my life out before i ruin my poor horse any more, she is better mooching round the field until she has my full attention.

R xx

 

[Pidge]

You are not ruining your horse!

 

[Ginn]

[ QUOTE ]
I will sort my life out before i ruin my poor horse any more, she is better mooching round the field until she has my full attention.


[/ QUOTE ]

You are not ruining your horse. Horses are big strong and potentially very dangerous animals. If we don't have their respect and they are not listening to us then yes, sometimes they should get a damn good smack! We all do it and ok, so sometimes it isn't always deserved but it very rarely does them any harm and if it helps a situation then its for the best. Think about what happens in nature: If a young horse requires discipline and it doesnt listen to the warnings given then invariably it will get kicked, bitten, chased around etc. What if your horse had continued to prance around and you'd done nothing? It could have got worse, she could have put you on the floor and ended up loose on the road.

Im not condoning hitting/whipping horses but they are big strong and not overly intelligent animals so when they do try and get the better of us it is sometimes needed.

Your horse will not hate you, go up and have a cuddle later and Im sure you will feel much better.

 

[GTs]

Hurting your horses feelings is simple to resolve - a bag of carrots, and they have forgotten all about it.

The reality is we have all done it - the ones who know better have done it so many times, they can predict that it is not going to be productive and they will regret it.

 

[Tia]

Honestly you really shouldn't dwell on it. Your horse will have forgotten about it totally - they aren't particularly bright creatures so you won't have hurt her feelings. Go up tonight and see her - I bet she'll be as cuddly as she always is.

 

[Clodagh]

We've all done it...don't worry!!

 

[Iestyn]

Please don't beat yourself up about it - I've lost it myself in the past. I hated my job, was always tired and had a lot on my plate. No excuses as you say, but we are only human at the end of the day. My boy has no lasting damage - she won't bear any grudges, I'm sure!!!

 

[SirenaXVI]

[ QUOTE ]
Your only human - it takes b*lls to post this. I'm sure she'll forgive you try not to beat yourself up too much. It shows the type of person you are cause at least you felt awful afterwards. I'd be more worried if you didn't have a care afterwards.

[/ QUOTE ]

Absolutely! If you were as bad as you think you are you would not even feel that way you do atm - I am sure your horse will forgive you.

 

[bellgave]

Dont be daft, honestly as everyone has said, it happens to all of us. You'll feel 1000 times worse than she does. Bless you!!!

 

[MagicMelon]

Horses are big strong and potentially very dangerous animals. If we don't have their respect and they are not listening to us then yes, sometimes they should get a damn good smack!" - Sorry but I totally disagree with this. This is certainly NOT the situation for the horse to have got "a damn good smack". Her horse was shying and jogging, beating the hell out of it would do absolutely nothing!! If anything, it would make it MORE frantic! My horses get the odd tap but certainly never a thrashing or even a 'damn good smack' yet they still have respect for me! None of us have the right to beat the crap out of our horses. At least she regrets it, its people who think its OK to do this who dont deserve the pleasure of keeping horses.

"she could have put you on the floor and ended up loose on the road." - I think beating her up in the middle of the road would have a higher chance of causing this! If a horse is jogging, surely the WRONG think to do is smack it?!

"Im not condoning hitting/whipping horses but they are big strong and not overly intelligent animals so when they do try and get the better of us it is sometimes needed." - In this situation, who was to say the horse was "trying to get the better" of her? Maybe it was genuinely worrying about something. Too often it is US who arent intelligent, we dont try to think like the horse.

Sure, I doubt beating a horse up one day wont cause it lasting damage but if it became a habit then it certainly would. I have owned a horse who was beaten up in the show jumping ring from a very young age by the previous owner. He NEVER got over it to the point that I had to call it a day competing him.

Sorry, apologies if I sound aggressive! I just feel very strongly against thrashing horses and those who think its ok. Im sure in your case randira, you already feel so guilty so I doubt you'll ever do it again. In which case, Im sure your horse will forget about it. x

 

[SirenaXVI]

Was that aiomed at me?

[ QUOTE ]
Im sure in your case randira, you already feel so guilty so I doubt you'll ever do it again. In which case, Im sure your horse will forget about it. x

[/ QUOTE ]

Which was all I was saying - of course it's not right to beat a horse up but randira knows that already and feels terrible - I don't think your post has made her feel any better

 

[kayleigh_and_rocky]

Was going to say actually, sirena has said it for me!
Not exactly helpful, if you want to have a rant about hitting horses do it in another post because this is clealry not the right one to do it in!! She made a mistake, we all do, we all lose our temper sometimes and feel bad about it afterwards and she has clearly regretted it straight away and feels awful about it
so shouting and ranting about hitting horses, really not a helpful reply!

 

[_jetset_]

Oh honey, I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Please try to put it behind you, maybe go up and spend a few minutes with her tonight or even tomorrow morning. She will still love you, I promise!

Like many people on here have said, we have all done it! I was having a few problems caused by stress at university a couple of years ago, and decided, like you did, that riding would cheer me up. I took Hannah in the school, and she was really stupid (picking up on my mood no doubt). I completely lost my temper with her and whacked her with the schooling whip leaving a mark. I couldn't stop crying when I had done it, and felt rotten for a few days after.

But we moved on, and she never held anything against me!

Most of us do have moments when we lose our temper, we are living people after all with emotions, but we just have to learn from our mistakes, which you have done! You are not ruining your horse, and please don't feel that you have to stay away from her for fear you'll do it again. I don't think you will, you know how it has made you feel.

 

[LauraBR]

I'm sure there isn't a single person on here who hasn't regretted something they have done in temper.

NONE of us are perfect horse owners and I'm sure your girl will have forgotton about it already x

 

[Christmas_Kate]

Seriously, we've all lost our tempers. My betting is when you go down tomorrow she'll be standing there so happy to see you. Animals don't really bear grudges and as it's only happened this once she'll forget about it. If it were a regular thing i could understand the worry of ruining her, but it isnt, so worry no more.
Did you read the confessions thing on here the other week? Jesus, there were some things which made me cringe and they were 10 times worse than whipping a horse.
At least you regret it, your mare has an owner who loves her and she knows that. Big hugs xxx

 

[MagicMelon]

Sirena - My "rant" wasnt directed at her, it was at what you were saying - basically that horses deserve a good smacking sometimes. It was pretty obvious I wasn't having a go at her.

I wasnt trying to be nasty but when people make comments like that then it does irritate me (as Im sure it does others, they probably just dont say anything on this forum or they get slated!). I dont want others (like kids) viewing these posts of "oh dont worry, we all do it" and "horses sometimes need a damn good smack" because it makes it sound ok!

 

[flyingfeet]

We've all lost our rag with horses, it doesn't often do much good (well defo not with mares), but their capacity to forgive and be peaceful is one of their most amazing attributes.

 

[SirenaXVI]

Excuse me? When exactly did I say that??????????? Please re read my post!

 

[MagicMelon]

Huge apologies Sirena. It was Ginn who said that. Got myself in a muddle. Sorry, blonde moment....!

 

[SirenaXVI]

LOL s'OK we all have blonde moments every now and again