I do not get on with my new horse!

[Kendall]

I have been a rider and owned horses my whole life and am now 16, I consider myself to be a pretty good rider. I recently bought a youngster(6 years) as I wanted more of a challenge and something that I could bring on myself. I feel like I rushed into the buy as I didnt look at any other horses(stupid thing to do I know) and I did have worries that he was a bit small, hes 15.1hh and I was looking for something around 16hh. The horse is lovely and safe, he has quite a lot of dressage knowledge considering he is young and I got on with him well for the first few weeks. However, I have had him for almost 4 months and I am really not getting on with him, I feel like I really havent clicked with him both in the stable and riding. I have discovered that he is a very lazy stubborn horse which I can handle but recently it has gotten worse and I feel like he puts no effort in when I ride and completely ignores my aids! Its so frustrating!!! I decided to move to the yard he was homebred at because it is nice and much closer to where I live. But everyone there knows my horse so are constantly telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing and I really think they underestimate how hard he actually is to ride!! I wanted a challenge and something young, but I wanted something that is willing and eager to learn and enjoys its work, and he is definitely not that!!! So i don't know what to do!! I feel like his breeder will take him back but I feel like she will judge me for giving up on him. I hate doing this because I am not the kind of rider that gives up on a horse but I just haven't connected with him and honestly I don't enjoy riding him! Any advice? Thank you.

 

[Equi]

Firstly, is he lacking in anything nutrition wise that might be making him dull? All checks done? What does the breeder/breaker say about what he was like before? Ploddy horses are a gem to some, a curse to others. But you can make them more forward going with proper instruction - so provided all the checks and nutritional needs are being met, get a wonderful instructor who can focus on getting him going.

 

[Kendall]

Thank you for your reply I have considered changing his feed, but part of me thinks he's just one of those horses. His breaker said that she never really got along with him either, she is a very experienced dressage rider, she tries to give me advice but I find it hard to do what she is saying! She says that he responds better when you wrap your legs around him and squeeze him which makes sence and did work in the beginning but he is not responding as well any more? He is also very nappy and the other day I started jumping with him and he would plant his feet and refuse to jump the jump coming up the school away from the gate, but would jump it towards the gate? Just things like this really frustrate me and I've kind of hit a wall where I just can't do anything! We have had the saddler out a few times, bought him a new saddle and had his back checked, no problems. I do have a very good instructor that has taught me all my life. However, the other day when she was teaching me the breeder was watching and said that she didn't like the way my instructor taught me? I was quite shocked and confused as I felt she handled the napping situation properly, she is a very popular and well trained instructor and I am very close with her so I feel that I cant not have her! Sorry if I am being quite pessimistic, I have a history of picking difficult horses and thought this one was going to be different!

 

[Equi]

Breeders are impossible to please - they all assume the horse they bred is the next valegro. (for example, my foal IS most deinitely going to get the world champion miniature horse, don't you know )

For what its worth, i would never want to be wrapping my legs and squeezing the horse. Thats a "go" motion to me. What is he being fed?

 

[be positive]

You are in a tricky situation, his breeder is still "involved" with what is now your horse, you are still very young and relatively inexperienced so are feeling undermined by others around you who know your horse in their minds better than you do, your self confidence will be taking steps back, the horse will feel this and every comment made will make matters worse and he will not improve if he feels you are negative about riding him, napping is a sign he lacks confidence in you even if you feel you are riding with purpose.

Several possibilities come to mind, 1 think about him going to your instructor for a few weeks schooling to get him going forward and have her assess him and your partnership away from the breeder, 2 move to another livery and see if that helps, it would get away from the negative vibes, 3 sell him and move on, life is too short to be riding a horse you don't enjoy but I would try 1 or 2 first just in case he really is the right horse once he gets a chance, he doesn't sound too difficult more green and lacking motivation, sometimes a change can make a huge difference.

 

[Kendall]

Haha exactly! Yeah that is never what I have been told, and I feel like it does not help with the position of my leg as where I am a bit bigger on him my feet go a bit under him and I fee like it makes my toes stick out! Honestly Im not exactly sure what he is fed! The breeder runs the yard and just feeds him for me, I am pretty sure he is just on some chaff and some kind of conditioning cubes morning and evening? I will deffo look into the feeding situation.

 

[Kendall]

Yeah I agree I dont think it was a wise idea staying where the horse was bred, the yard is really nice and has amazing facilities but I do feel like everyone thinks they know everything about him and how he is to ride and its annoying having them constantly telling me things. Feels like Im being told off!!! I think I am going to give it a few more weeks, try riding more positively and when no one is around, see what I can do about changing his feed and I will see how it goes. If I get on better with him will deffo consider moving back to my old yard. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Equi]

As the owner, i would expect you to know exactly what your horse is being fed, how much and why. This breeder is controlling you.

 

[Kendall]

I know I should probably know but I just didn't consider changing his feed. The breeder is a very experienced horsewoman and I guess I just trusted her as she bred him I dunno. I realise now that I should look into it.

 

[Pinkvboots]

I wonder if his feeling some discomfort as you say he was fine to ride when you first got him, I would get the necessary things checked first, teeth, back and I would get the saddle re checked once you know his comfortable I would consider moving yards, being on the same yard as his breeder won't be easy and to be honest 4 months is no time at all to bond and get used to a new horse, it took me at least a year with my last one and believe me I had days when I though whatever have I done! his only young I would give it a bit longer get some help from your instructor and just see how it goes.

 

[be positive]

I know I should probably know but I just didn't consider changing his feed. The breeder is a very experienced horsewoman and I guess I just trusted her as she bred him I dunno. I realise now that I should look into it.

If he is on full livery including feed then it is relatively normal for the YO to feed a standard feed to everything, not all owners are interested or experienced enough to make feeding decisions, it is a good idea to learn as much as you can and be in a position to discuss his diet in a general way and have some input, I often have liveries that have left all feeding choices to me and it may be that your YO is used to liveries doing the same.
I do think she is being controlling but you are only 16 so she probably feels you are in need of advice she is just going about it in a rather heavy handed and unfair way.

 

[millikins]

Is he hacking as well? You only mention his behaviour in the school and that he's fairly experienced at dressage, maybe as a youngster he's just plain bored?

 

[Kendall]

Yes I hack him most weekends with a friend, tbh I havent hacked in a couple of weeks due my friend and I not being able to find time when we are both free. He does really enjoy hacking but I felt that he would enjoy jumping as something different which is why I tried to get him started with it but that was the first time he has been very nappy to the point where i could not move him! Im just not sure!

 

[Kendall]

Yes we are on full livery with him. Though she did say I could feed him whatever and she would get it in(as part of the livery cost). Yeah I understand that she is trying to help and he is her homebred horse so she is likely to be concerned with him but I don't know I just get a bit upset and disheartened when she tells me what to do all the time! I know I am young but I have been a very committed rider for around 11 years and I am quite knowledgable about horses, I just feel a bit undermined sometimes. I will deffo look in to what to feed him.

 

[ycbm]

What breeding is he?

 

[Kendall]

Hes an Irish Sports Horse. I think he has a bit of Arab and a bit of Dartmoor in him as well as TB.

 

[Equi]

You also have to learn hard and fast at livery esp full that your horse is YOUR horse. You paid for him, he is no longer the breeders. If they don't agree with the instructor you need to say well i feel they worked well for us.

As an afterthought, do you think maybe the fact he is full livery is stopping you bonding? I know for sure i would hate full livery. I enjoy mucking him out, seeing him snuffle about in his nice clean bed i did, looking to me for his dinner, wrinkling his nose when he sees me coming cause he knows im the food lady...giving me cuddles cause im the one who snuggles him. my YO told me he gave her a snuggle...which made me even more happy because hes been quite a head shy aloof animal...but he has become so loving and affectionate because I have been giving that to him.

 

[southerncomfort]

Is it possible that he's a bit bored?

If you and your friend haven't been able to hack much recently, perhaps he's becoming a bit bored of the arena. Perhaps you could try varying what you do with him. Maybe try and do something different each time you ride i.e. lunge, long rein, jump, groundwork, TREC obstacles. And yes...do try hacking as much as you can if he enjoys it.

It can take a little while to get to know a new horse and unfortunately it doesn't sound like his breeder is giving you enough time and space to enjoy your new boy.

 

[Cortez]

You say you have a history of picking difficult horses.....have you ever considered that it's not the horses, it's your riding? Any time that "all" horses have the same problem I would always look to the rider first as horses are most definately not all the same.

What was it about your instructor that the breeder didn't like?

 

[Kendall]

I have only had one very difficult horse, my first pony was a lazy mare and was a challenge bit in the end I got along really well with her and loved her to pieces, she pretty much taught me how to ride, this is why I thought I would manage with a stubborn horse. I have owned two horses and loaned a couple in between. The horse I previously loaned before my horse now was a star and I had a really good relationship with him. He was very old so sadly I decided I needed to move on and get something younger. The horse I loaned before him I also got on with very well. I bought a TB mare after my first pony to share with my older sister, we found out that she was actually quite difficult and we had bitten off more than we could chew. Granted that was quite a long time ago and we weren't as experienced so it was probably our fault. She began rearing and one day she reared upright and my sister fell off and broke her arm and she had to have metal plates in it. It was then a massive struggle to sell the mare because no one wants a rearing horse! We sold her eventually and she is doing ok now, still rears occasionally. That experience was very difficult which is why I don't want it to happen again.

 

[JillA]

You need a good instructor - however much you think you know your horse is telling you you haven't got it right. It's your responsibility to be the owner your horse needs, not for the horse to fit in with you, how would they know that?
Lazy and stubborn after having been fine before you bought her, what's changed? You, that's what. Get the idea that you are experienced out of your head, the best riders in the world acknowledge they still have loads to learn, if you are anything of a horsewoman you will take on board what this horse is telling you. She's uncomfortable, she doesn't understand, you are blocking her, she is worried, whatever it is you know the saying "When the student is ready the teacher will arrive". You have yours, learn the skills you need to get the best out of her.

 

[Kendall]

I have a good instructor. I am an experienced rider but I know I am no where near the best or the standard I would like to be and have loads to learn. I understand what you mean about adapting to your horse but I do also think sometimes people just don't connect with a horse and have to accept it. I don't believe that HE is uncomfortable as I have had him vetted, his back checked recently and his saddle fitted many times. I understand that he may be confused with my aids, however he is not the kind of horse to worry or get anxious, he is very relaxed. I am going to continue working with him and see where we go. No offence, but your tone is a bit patronising, I may be young but I know horses, I don't know everything about them obviously and I wasn't trying to insinuate that I do.

 

[Beausmate]

Are you riding with your leg on the horse? Also, how fit is he?

 

[Kendall]

Hi thanks for everyones comments! I rode him this evening and had a much better ride, he was much more focussed and I feel I rode more positively which is really good. I worked on some different stuff, I did spiralling in and out of a 20m circle to work on his bend and flexion and worked on some leg yield which is beginning to come on well! I am also going to go to my instructors yard(my old yard of 10 years!) to have a lesson to get him out and about and not have everyone watching me! A few people mentioned about changing his feed which I stupidly had not thought about. He is just having a scoop of plain pony nuts morning and evening which I don't think is very substantial considering I ride him 4-5 times a week and he is a finer horse. I have also done some research and worry he is not getting enough protein as he is not going out at the moment? I dunno pony nuts just seem a bit plain and boring for him. Does anyone have any suggestions? Preferably a feed combo or just a type that will help build him up a bit more across his top line and his back, give him a bit more energy without making him too fizzy! Thank you.

 

[Kendall]

He is not really fit but I have noticed he is getting fitter as he has definitely built up more muscle and I find I am riding for longer periods of time without him dying!! Yes I constantly have my leg on which I think is why it is starting to lose effect. I ride with a long crop and give him a tap occasionally to keep him forward but would rather not!

 

[ycbm]

Thank you for your reply I have considered changing his feed, but part of me thinks he's just one of those horses.

I know I should probably know but I just didn't consider changing his feed. The breeder is a very experienced horsewoman and I guess I just trusted her as she bred him I dunno. I realise now that I should look into it.

A few people mentioned about changing his feed which I stupidly had not thought about..

??????

 

[be positive]

Mine would be ecstatic if they got a scoop of pony nuts twice a day, that should be plenty for most horses in light work but it is not something I would feed as it has more starch and sugar than I like, that said with your livery package making changes could be complicated, as long as he gets ad lib hay or haylage he should be getting enough to maintain his condition, I would be more concerned with a young horse stuck in a stable with no turnout and only being ridden 4 or 5 times a week, does that mean he stays in 2 or3 days with no exercise?
Being in so much is probably contributing to how he feels, most horses, especially young ones, need time out in the field not stood in a box with no time out to stretch their legs, play and be a horse.

 

[abbijay]

I have a good instructor. I am an experienced rider but I know I am no where near the best or the standard I would like to be and have loads to learn. I understand what you mean about adapting to your horse but I do also think sometimes people just don't connect with a horse and have to accept it. I don't believe that HE is uncomfortable as I have had him vetted, his back checked recently and his saddle fitted many times. I understand that he may be confused with my aids, however he is not the kind of horse to worry or get anxious, he is very relaxed. I am going to continue working with him and see where we go. No offence, but your tone is a bit patronising, I may be young but I know horses, I don't know everything about them obviously and I wasn't trying to insinuate that I do.

Perhaps the tone of that response was less than ideal but unfortunately the sentiments are definitely worthy of some thought. In 11 years riding you are highly unlikely to be an experience rider in the terms of the real world, I'm sure that in a Riding School context you would definitely class as an experience rider - there are some interesting old threads in the Tack Room which might give you food for thought. I have nearly 30 years riding experience but I would still class myself as a novice if I was looking for a new horse. The key to this being a successful relationship will be determined by the support you get. It sounds like the existing yard are not supporting you therefore I would look to move, ideally to your instructors place.
A green but well bred 6 year old is quite a challenge. I always think of 6 year olds as being the teenagers of the horse world - grown up enough to mostly be very polite and well mannered but prone to strops and thinking they know best. How this stage is managed will determine what kind of an adult he really becomes. Has anyone else ridden him since you got him? It might be worth paying the person that broke him to get back on and see how (s)he finds him now. At least it would give you someone who could give an accurate comparison of the situation.
When were his teeth last done? While it could be a napping/boredom/management issue there is something about this behaviour that is niggling me that he's uncomfortable.
I wouldn't change his feed just yet. If he is in good enough condition and on plenty of hay/haylage you might just throw uncontrolled exuberant energy into the mix which could become scary.

 

[scats]

Hi there. Sorry to hear you are not enjoying your new horse. Having read your original post, I do wonder whether you are quite as experienced as you think.
I assume you have had horse checked physically and are feeding correctly (apologies, I haven't read every reply).

I wonder if there is a mis-communication between you and the horse and you are reading this as the horse being lazy and stubborn. Do you have a good instructor who can give you an honest opinion? Or perhaps pop on the horse for you and see what they think?
I suggest this because when my clients explain a problem they are having, with their permission, I like to get on board and experience it for myself. This gives me a better idea of whether the issue is a horse issue, or actually a rider one. Nine times out of ten, it is a rider issue. Not that the rider isn't good, but its like that old analogy that we often don't see what is staring us in the face, especially when we get so hung up on an issue.

6 years old can be challenging. 4 and 5 year olds are often all sweetness and light, but they hit 6 and get a bit more balanced/strong and a lot more opinionated.

Without seeing you, the horse, or your riding, I would suggest you find a good instructor, perhaps someone different to who you currently use and go from there.