I don't know what to do :(

Grumpymoo said:
I am between Basingstoke and winchester.
Click to expand...

A-ha! My old stomping ground! I shall PM you the details of an angelic instructor who is the most sympathetic and empathetic rider and human communicator I've ever met. And drop-dead gorgeous, but that's beside the point ;)

He's mainly a human and equine osteopath but also gives lessons and generally works with horses. I'll PM you.
 
Thanks for the pm planet hacking. I will contact him and see if he can help. :)

Flame - I just read your post to my husband. He wasn't too impressed lol! He said he is going to remove all the money from the joint account :)

No I wouldn't drive a car I am scared of but I also couldn't care less about where a car ends up. The thing that makes it so hard is he is a complete sweetheart the rest of the time and I am sure my friends think I making it up about his napping etc!
 
I wouldn't consider selling him at the moment. For one thing it's not the right time of the year to be selling anything if you don't have to. But...

Reading between the lines I don't think you want to either and if husband says you can't get another then in my book you're going to end up worse off and wishing you hadn't sold plus wondering "what if....?"

Lets face it: you're halfway there with a fab relationship with him on the ground.

Hand on heart? He's a 5 year old green little character with the welsh bit meaning he's going to have a bit of a mind of his own - so you know exactly what you are dealing with here. On the plus side as you've already found out in the bond you have with him if you can work through this you will have the most loyal companion who will be fun for many years to come.

I think PlanetHacking has the answer with her hunky trainer (might keep your hubbie on his toes too - added value LOL!). Give that a go then if you still feel that you are too challenged by his behaviour after you can move forward knowing you gave it your best shot.

What you must not do is blame yourself and think you have failed (that came out in one of your earlier posts) remember this relationship between you and your horse is a two way thing. It takes two to tango. He needs to work for you as well as with you.

Please keep us posted of your progress.
 
Thanks horsephotographer.

I know you are right although husband is not impressed with the idea of the male instructor!

Of course I will keep you all informed of any progress but I do kind of feel like I have been here before with him but hopefully with me actually getting off my arse and getting some professional help with him like I was meant to do months ago the result will be better.
 
Ha! Ha! Well you see hubbie has a vested interest in you not getting the hunk in to help: firstly he gets you to himself and not shared affection with said horse, secondly he's better off financially because he's no longer paying livery for said horse and he has proceeds of whatever you sell him for thirdly you have more time to spend with him and less with the hunk and said horse.

If you sell he's onto a winner!

What he doesn't realise is that you probably need a horse in your life and the little Shetland doesn't fulfil that need LOL xx
 
Thing is he doesn't want me to sell. If it wasn't for him saying that I can't let 'our boy' go I would be more likely to sell. He just would prefer a female instructor lol! Very convenient.

I have explained that I am happy to keep him as a companion if I don't get him sorted and then he can buy me a third horse that I can ride :). Apparently this isn't an option lol
 
Husband doesn't ride at all and is not horsey but does like to treat our animals as our children :) bless.

My friends at the yard have walked out with me a few times a couple of months ago before he was off work with lami. That worked well as I knew I had someone to take over if I couldn't handle him but they can't always be there when I ride. at the moment I can only ride at the weekend as Eve's are too dark so I need to be able to crack this without always having someone with me. But of course if my friends are able too they are always there to assist. I think I may ask one of them to ride him out for me which hopefully seeing someone else do it and deal with him may increase my confidence.
 
I've just been catching up reading your original thread about him.

Don't give up. FWIW I am also, like Paula in the "come back to riding a little long in the tooth" brigaide. I also have a 5 year old cobx hackney who will not hack alone, he is very nappy and nervy and will throw a buck when going into canter sometimes. There has been more than one occasion when I've thought we've bought the wrong horse (I own him with my sister and daughter) but we are attached to him and also now we are aware of his issues I wouldn't feel comfortable selling him on.

But in the time we've had him we are making slow but steady progress. But let's not look through rose tinted glasses here - it is a slow process. We usually hack him out with one of our other horses and he will be nappy at times and a little nervy but on the whole he's coming on nicely and will go willingly. He rides differently for each of us. My daughter at the moment has lost a little of her confidence around him and prefers to ride one of the other. My sister is ok around him but he doesn't ride as well for her as he does for me although technically she's probably the better rider. Me? I don't give him an inch when riding him. I don't give him chance to stop. I have never used a whip on him as I don't think on the whole it's helpful but do use leg aids and mostly voice.

Hacking alone is a challenge. We've done a lot in hand with him and we've done more with one of us riding the other walking. I think it will take a long time yet but we will get there with him.

You can too but you need to be prepared to put the work in.
 
Have you looked into hypnotherapy or seeing a sports psychologist to help with your nerves? That is the issue that needs resolving to progress with a Welsh D youngster. I have heard they are great. Ride out with someone on the ground or in company until you feel confident, don't try and tackle hacking out alone, Welshies aren't fans of hacking on their own. Have some fun!
 
Thanks horsephotographer and thanks for taking the time to share your story. I just felt so low yesterday and I realised that I have yet again trying to fight this on my own and that will never work. I am hoping to get someone out in the next week or so and until then I will just carry on bring him in for his groom etc and not pressure myself to do anything else until I have got the assistance I need.

I defo think that hiponotherapy may help so I might look into something like that. Everyone around me keeps telling me that he is fab and I shouldn't let him go so I guess they can't all be wrong.
 
Massive thank you to Planethacking for your recommendation of instructor! Had a long chat on the phone about all our problems he asked loads of questions and was just lovely and understanding and funny too. Husband will not be happy! He is coming to see us next weekend so fingers crossed it all works out. I am feeling very positive right now.bso thanks everyone again xx
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top