I don't want to get attached again

Kokopelli

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Has anyone else felt like this? After loosing Koko I didn't, to begin with I couldn't imagine myself with anything but him but then Andy came along. Now Andy is gone I just can't do it all again, I don't want to be in that situation again. For some reason I feel unlucky because its only horses that I've owned (rather than my parents/ sister) that have died.

I want Louie so much and have been offered him for an affordable price but I don't want to do it all again, get attached and have to eventually say goodbye. I know that's animals for you but how do others get over it?

Can't go without photos of my wonderful boys, no doubt running a mock somewhere together.




And the lovely Louie- how could you not get attached to the little guy?
 

Pinkvboots

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Sorry you have lost two horses recently that is hard, no wonder you are feeling like this you dont want your heart broken again, but it sounds like you have much love to give and life would be a very sad lonely place without anything to love, you may just need some time to heal but I am sure you will end up with another, maybe its fate Louie is available and you are supposed to have him.
 

_GG_

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I look at it from another angle. Koko and Andy will have both taught you so much about horses, it would be a travesty not to take that knowledge and use it to better the life of another horse. It can be their legacy that you are able to give such a great life to another horse.

Yes, it is devastating when we have to say goodbye, but better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It's a cliche but it is very true. Don't ask yourself if you can imagine your life having to go through that again. Instead, ask yourself can you imagine a life where you are happy to NOT have that equine element in it.

It is a decision only you can make, but sometimes when we try to protect our hearts from pain....we actually lose a little bit of life.


Big hugs xxx
 

BBP

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I imagine what my life would have been like without that horse in my life, and whether I would rather not have had them at all to save myself the heartache. And it makes me realise I would go through any amount of heartbreak just to give them however many days, weeks, months or years of being loved and spoilt with me then know they could end up not so lucky elsewhere. I know that my horse has a wonderful home with me and that I am happier with him in my life. I also know that one day I will lose him, so I intend to make the most of every second I have with him. I do really feel for you, grief isn't something anyone can go through for you.
 

benson21

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I do understand where you are coming from, and I really feel for you. But you cant live your life worrying about the what if's.
you have so much love and knowledge to give, its always going to be scary to start again, Koko and Andy wouldnt want you to go without.
Dont rush it though, you have got to be ready. xx
 

JFTDWS

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What KatPT said - what's the alternative? Never having loved Koko or Andy? Never having had them in your life? That doesn't sound like a good alternative to me...

Louie would be lucky to have you as an owner - you will take care of his needs, have fun with him and love him while you can, and when the time comes for him to go (and I hope it's a long way in the future) he will be lucky enough to have an owner who will put his needs first and do the right thing by him. You've proved that much.
 

WelshRuby

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Hi K, I've only just come back on here after losing 3 horses in 11 months. Even looking at a horse hurt badly. About 2 months ago I starting getting the feeling of needing another so started to look on the web. I still had, though, that feeling you have of not being able to cope if i lost it. I have a new horse coming at the w/end but still have that feeling/thought. I'm almost backing out of the sale!! But I need horses in my life so am going for it. I wasn't here when you lost Andy (I'm so,so sorry)so I don't know how long ago it was but I recommend that you give it time (I was going to say until you're certain!) It's very difficult, I know.

(((hugs)))

Louie is so cute!
 

chestnut cob

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The other way to look at it... what would your life have been like without Andy and Koko in it? Would you prefer that? Another horse will have so much to give you and bring so much to your life - would you rather have a life without it?

It's always hard when someone or something dies. My mom died last year and it broke my heart, still learning how to cope with it now, but all it shows is how much you love(d) someone and what they meant to your life. Same with relationships - after a bad breakup you could say you'd never have another relationship but then you risk missing out on something amazing.
 

FfionWinnie

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You've been quite unlucky with the other two. If you really want Louie get him, he is no doubt there to make up for the heart break of the other two, in the great scheme of things...
 

merrymeasure

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Bless you. I lost two wonderful horses in less than two years, and yes, I felt like you at firstwhen I lost my second boy, Murphy. It was all too much after losing Bob. I stood in the yard and said I can't do this any more. Murph had been my rock after losing Bob, and when he went I was completely devastated. But then after a while I felt lost without a horse in my life, and along came Darcey. And she has helped fill a huge hole that I thought would never be filled.I still miss my boys, and will always love them. And you will too. Louie looks absolutely gorgeous, and you would love him too, even though you know the heartache it causes when they go. Its wonderful you had two such lovely horses share your life, and so it would be with Louie. x
 

Goldenstar

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You do need to be pragmatic you lost them, you give the next horse a great life it all just moves on though your life.
 

tikino

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i have lost 3 horses in 17 months and all were very special as i bred them and the oldest was 15yrs old then 1 lost a yearling and only 7 weeks ago i lost my beloved 4 yr old. i feel robbed from them and miss them all so dearly. we had just started sitting on the 4 yr old far to young just a baby as was the yearling. i had to choices and that was give up or move on. I choose to move on it still hurts me thinking about my precious girl but i have boy a lovely horse by Arko and it was the best choice ever as he has helped me grieve but also helping me enjoy horses again i also own my 3 yr old and 13 yr old mare who is on part loan but you really have to think hard and make or break it part of having animals they break out hearts when they die
 

SatansLittleHelper

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My friend and I lost 4 horses in 14 months..it was devastating and to be honest I still can't look at a Clydesdale without getting tearful :( BUT I could never imagine having not had them...they all taught me so much in their own ways. You clearly have alot of love and knowledge, I think it would be the perfect tribute to Koko and Andy to give another horse a fab home xxx
 

Kenzo

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I think you just have have to look to future, you have had so many good times and fond memories with your past horses and you will have so many more memories, love and commitment to share with some more great horses, put the heart ache aside and let another horse into your life, your not replacing them, your creating new opportunities and a good life for another.
 

babymare

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Oh hun . never say never. at thee moment you are still feeling grief. but remember you have a lot of love and care in your heart and one day you will be ready to give it to another horse. The saying "better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all" give yourself time hun but hugs and hugs to you x x
 

blitznbobs

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I've kept horses for over 30 years and have only ever sold one. This means I have lost a lot of horses, some to illness some to old age and one to injury.

Every time it is very hard and starting again with a new relationship is a challenge- but looking back on the 12 horses I have owned each one taught me so much and each one still holds a place in my heart ( except for the mare I sold - long story) but even she taught me a valuable lesson...

I guess what I'm saying is that it is very sad when they die but would I rather have the good times and put up with the bad or not had the good times at all--- and I find that question v easy to answer... I'll take the downs because of the ups every time.
 
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Tobiano

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Bless you Kokopelli. Only you can make the decision but here is a perspective you may not have had. Aged 16 I lost a horse I loved very much - he wasn't mine, but I spent a lot of time with him. He was the centre of my world and I was devastated when he was put down. He was only 11 too. I then waited 25 years before even getting on a horse again. And I wish I hadn't.

You have so much love to give a horse, it would be a terrible shame for you and for the horse, if you do what I did and give up. But, like I say, only you can decide. Hugs x x
 

Chunkie

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Koko, don't think about getting over it, because you never will - you just learn to live with it and you cope with it better little by little without ever forgetting what you and the horses went through and how much they meant to you.

You have lots of other horses in your life to keep you "in the swing of things", so don't put pressure on yourself either way. Louie is lovely - hope he's the one for you xx
 

Pearlsasinger

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I guess what I'm saying is that it is very sad when they die but would I rather have the good times and put up with the bad or not had the good times at all--- and I find that question v easy to answer... I'll take the downs because of the ups every time.
This sums up my feelings perfectly. I am similar to bnb, in that sis and I have kept horses foe almost 40 yrs, we've just bought the 13th and 14th (2 youngsters). We have lost some to extreme old age, some far too young, some have been planned pts, some (too many) in an emergency because of illness. One had a fatal field accident. We remember them all, talk about them, laugh about the things that they did, value the opportunities that have come our way because of them and put what they taught us to good use with the next one.
I do think that it is easier to move on though when you have more than one horse at a time.
 
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