I feel so stupid.....

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mar2505

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I managed to do my first ever dressage test on sunday. Everyone expected me to do really badly because i am a nervous rider but guess what i did really well. After the test i was on a high and i was so proud of myself and my horse and really felt we worked as a team.
Now the hard bit, i am really scared of hacking out and so i felt that after this great achievement i would be cured cause after all I was in a strange place and did well in dressage so why could i not just hack down the road.
I went to pieces, completly panicked and upset my horse. I am now really upset as i feel I destroyed the bond we built up at the show. I also feel that I have gone backwards completly. Help i am sat here in tears.
 
Dont feel bad........... spend lots of time with your pony just being with him/her cuddles and stuff, you'll soon build up her/his trust again, as for hacking do you not have someone you can go with so you'll feel a bit more secure??? Big hug anyway from me............
 
Take your horse inhand in a bridle and go for a walk out the road instead ... talking to him the whole way , then next day take someone with you and talk to him the whole way , folowing step, go out next time on your own and talk to him the whole way, Always schoolinh your horse in the school before hand so that hes nice and relaxed .


Chin up , wipe away the tears and breathe and off you go
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Thanks guys, I had a friend walk with me but i am sure she made me worse. Problem is when i get far from home i panic and like to be able to see home at all times. i am just amazed that i did that dressage test. Wish i could bottle that feeling,
 
Dont beat yourself up. I am the same. I just cant hack my horse out anymore, I to have taken him to strange places and rode him with no probs, but I cant get the bottle to hack him round our woods where there is no roads or heavy farm traffic near me. I think my probs started when I had to hack with assistant yard manager, she was on a bomb proof horse and insisted we trotted round big open fields, I had never even rode round fields in a group before with him let alone trotted. Girl behind me kept letting her horse shoot up my boys backside so he got wound up and started to canter and bounce around under me girl behind (also on bomd proof cob) wouldnt back off so my lad realy lost the plot, kicking out and shooting off. Got back to roads and headed for home but he was still wound up and set me on edge all the way home. Result of this is I will not hack him out and I have lost all confidence in a horse I used to feel so safe on. I have gone right back to the start, handling him as much as I can, only ride in the School and I make all the decisions, I may work at the yard but he is my horse who I pay for so I decide wht I do on him.
Take your tim ewith your horse, do loads of ground work to build a bond with him, I even walk out in hand round the route I would usualy hack on so that when I do decide to get back on there is nothing for him to see that he isnt used too. Good luck and take your time, remember its suposed to be fun!!
 
Do you know, there are horses out there (mostly competition horses) that NEVER hack out. Who is putting you under pressure to do this, somebody else or do you just feel that it is an expectation of you?

don't rush doing this..if you want to hack out you will, in your own time, maybe for the first couple of times on somebody else's plod to build your confidence.

Well done on the dressage BTW
 
Aw hun, please don't beat yourself up!

If it's any consolation I HATE hacking! I do it because I'm lucky that my hubby rides out with me, and will go home if I want to and just do as little or a much as I want. I make myself do it because I don't always want to be the boring schooling mummy drilling Geroge all the time.

I'm also lucky that he hacks George out, so it's not always on me to take him out.

Deep down though I know I'll never really enjoy it, but am fine boxing out ot places and riding there.

Do you have transport?

If you do then just try and get to well organised farm rides/off road hacks etc and build your confidence there.

Don't put pressure on yourself to hack from the yard.

As for your bond with your horse, they're very understanding creatures
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I'm sure he won't hold anything against you (((hugs)))

Well done on the dressage too!
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Sounds to me with your last post its yourself that has the issue , not the horse ( not meaning to sound anything but respectful ) Have you not got a little what call block/route where you can still see your house ? Get someone to go out with you and chat with you, get you to relax more . Remeber you are meant to enjoy it , Think of something that will bring fun back into hacking for you , let yourself relax women :P


Best advice i can give you is to have a nice work out session in the school , making sure it all goes well, dont leave the school to out in a hack if you think you have done bad or the horse has done bad , Always leave to go out in a hack on a positive note .
relax and breathe x
 
Have you ever thought of having a course of cognitive behaviour? Not to say your mad or anything!!
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Dont get me wrong! Just I use to have panicks etc and this helped me immensely, in every aspect of my life,
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not just horse riding. Your home is your safety zone but believe me you can broaden this area. Dont get upset. We all need a helping hand at times and doing the dressage test shows that you can do it!
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