I hate feeling the way I do but its not all the time

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zeuscleoharmony

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Archie is fabulous. He has the odd moment where he is full of exuberence but get on his back and he is fine. One minute I ride him like I mean business, the next I am so nervous I am like a sack of spuds. That happened today.

I haven't ridden for about three weeks cos of the bad weather and thought best to ride him today whilst I could. He was wound up in the field cos his neighbour had already been taken up to the yard but he calmed down again before I tacked up. I was so nervous so was singing along the lane. Then, got to a track and just seemed to stop riding him altogether and he napped. I just could not get him to go forward and in the end some lady led him up the track and he eventually got back in laid back Archhie mode and continued to poodle along.

I am so upset and mad with myself. I seemed to be getting my confidence back (after my accident) and then, for no reason, take ten steps back and ride like a beginner. He honestly does nothing, apart from he planted himself but in my mind its the what if he did this, what if this happens. I am a nervous wreck. I love my boy so much and just want things to go back the way they were - before said accident we didn't have a care in the world.

Anyone got any good ideas or words of wisdom/encouragement? I really do feel like throwing in the towel but he is rather young to retire, he's only 7! Getting someone committed to ride him is easier said than done, I have had so many people let me down.
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I ride him in a bitless bridle, have done for the last 3+ years and never had a problem. Now I am questioning what if this happens, what if that happens. He is such a big boy, 16.3 ID x Cob and if he decided to explode or have a mad five minutes (it wouldn't be nasty, just full of joy) then I would not stand a chance but then I think these thoughts are totally irrational ... he never has, so why would he now?

Oh, just shoot me.
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STOP! Do not despair, stop beating yourself and take a deep breath......I too am the same. I have owned Beanie for 7 years and she has never done anything really bad but,,,,,,, theres always that 'but'. I didn't ride for quite a few days because of the weather and when I got back on the nerves started all over again. Today it was so much better. I personally think that when we have to take a break like that it does have an affect. Just don't be so hard on yourself and relax. Try to enjoy your ponio and don't try to predict what might happen. Hopefully it will get better the more you ride again, thats if the snow stays away.
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There is no simple answer, you just have to keep at it, and go as regularly as possible, only time and frequency will ease your worries.
Good luck and sorry I am not if much help, my mare is similar, planting etc, though she is being an absolute moose lately in hand and in the field, not ridden for a few weeks as she was lame but appears to have just come sound.
 
Confidence is a horrible thing to loose and it takes a long time to get it back, its only when its gone we realise how lucky we were to have it! Keep chipping away and im sure before long you will be better. Do you have anyone you could hack with to get you back into the swing of things. Afterall a good chat with a friend can take your mind of anything! Good luck xx
 
Don't worry. It must be the day for it because the same sort of thing just happened to me (see my post 'Why do I bother') except I also managed to break a bridle. I lost my confidence when I bought my current horse, regained it, lost it, regained it, broke arm, lost it etc etc - it seems to be a never ending cycle.
I've just gone through the whole do I sell him/give up/ buy another horse/ take up extreme ironing etc conversation with my OH but we come to the same conclusion every time. The good times I have with horsey just to say outweigh the bad ( although thats probably not taking into account a broken arm). And after being unable to ride due to broken arm I realised I couldn't give up riding because I love it too much, and I couldn't swap my naughty horse for a plod cos when he's good he's amazing.
So don't beat urself up over today, he hasn't been ridden for weeks. And if you're nervy like me you'll need to ride a few times after a break before getting ur confidence back. Do some ground work with him while the weather is poo, it will help.
 
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Thanks for your support all of you. I really do appreciate your advice and feel like I am schizofrenic of the horsey variety ... ok one minutes, nervous wreck the next ... maybe its my horsemones, I mean hormones
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Remember you are not alone hun. So many people feel the same way - even those who you watch and think 'Wow, I bet he/she never fees like this'.

Maybe cut your riding time down to five minutes, then build up slowly. Maybe lunge first so's if he has any exuberance to burn off it's done then.

Just hang on in there hun. Over time it will come good
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I am exactly the same. My horse had lots of time off due to an injury and coming back into work is proving a challenge.
Again, he hasn't actually 'done' anything (well that awful) I'm always thinking what if!
I have had a physio out to see him recently and she suggested hypnotherapy. Just some sort of relaxation technique to stop the continuous bad thoughts going round and round in your head.
I'm going to give it a try. See how we go. It can't hurt.
Good luck
 
umm, why is he in a bitless? is it because of a specific problem? if not, i'd put a snaffle in, a bitless on a napping horse does not make the rider's life easy imho, the indirect steering gives the horse wiggle-room that he absolutely does not need!
if you knew he was already wound up, and you hadn't ridden for 3 wks, i would have asked someone to walk with you (on foot ideally) to get you going... i'm a v determined rider but i'll happily take this sort of help if i think it'll make things easier with a green or slightly windy horse...
other than that, i'd give you a kindly kick up the bum... if he starts napping, get angry in a "GO FORWARD" way, don't let him take the p*** out of you. grab neckstrap and give him a flipping kick, say "GO FORWARD" loudly and determinedly, and 99% of horses go "oh, okay" and walk forward immediately if you are this definite and determined, and then it's plain sailing.
good luck, you WILL get it back!
 
I ride him in a bitless because he is sooooooo easy going. Could ride him in a head collar he is such a good boy. Unfortunately, no one to ride with so had to bite the bullet. As I said, he had calmed down. Its not him, its me. Agree with the bitless and a napping horse though ... bit blinkin useless but we got going in the end. Thankfully, this is the first time I can think of he's done it and it was my fault - I just seemed to switch off and may as well have been a sack of potatoes sitting there. xx Will try harder next time
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Im a nervous rider myself and can associate with the WHAT IF
I am always afraid the horse will bolt with me.
Just take a few deep breaths and try not to worry!
 
Sorry to hear about your confidence crisis although I total agree with others - you are not alone. I'm in the same position, not ridden for 5 weeks now because I feel physically sick when I tack her up. It's madness because she's done nothing wrong yet I keep thinking about a fall I had, wait for it, nearly 3 years ago and I'm worried it will happen again
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When I do ride her I think what the hell is wrong with me? Due to business commitments I don't have time to ride in week so I can only think it's because I'm not riding enough
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Sorry didn't mean to hi jack your post
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Tiff, of course I didn't think you hi-jacked. It is comforting, in a way, to know I am not alone and be reminded every so often. I felt a complete idiot today having a total stranger lead me on but I just fell to pieces. Thing is, my ride tomorrow or the next day or next week, whenever, may be totally different and I will be chomping at the bit, so to speak. I am totally random. I hope your nerves, and those of others in the same position return. I so want to get over it, otherwise these nerves will be lifechanging.
 
find a good hacking friend, work horse hard (ridden or lungeing) reduce feed but increase bulk, keep turnout to a maximum (he wont shrink in the rain or become deep frozen outside) and maybe some lessons with a good confidence giving instructer working on getting him going forward, transistions control and respect!! just explain to instructor your issues and what you want to work on. you dont need to be a competitive person to gain immensly from some instruction and some eyes on the ground! you have to work their brains as well as their muscles. pole work. bending, handy pony stuff. makes them much nicer and easier in the long run.
 
ArchiesMummy - I'm 50, been riding since I was 5, have ridden all sorts of horses all over the world, and I still have moments when I feel as you do.

It's only natural, and if you didn;t have that little bit of fear in the back of your mind you would take risks that would end badly.

I have fantastic horses, but you never know what will set them off any day - but it's best to live in the moment and if you find yourself thinking this way just ask "what's he doing right now, how is he behaving, where is his attention..." and then take a big deep breath!
 
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