I hate the decision I've just made.....

The Bouncing Bog Trotter

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I’m sat here in bits. I’ve just placed an ad for my beloved horse and I am dreading getting any calls.

I have read so many sad posts about people losing their horses and I totally appreciate that I am only selling her, but my horse has a future and I always saw myself as being part of that. I wasn’t even seriously looking for a horse when I went to see her but she stood out from all the others and I just wanted to be part of her life.

It’s also not just the sale of a horse but the realisation that a lifetime’s ambition is now unlikely to be fulfilled. I don’t claim to be a great rider, only just a reasonable one, but with this horse I did hope that I’d have chance to compete at a level higher than I have done in the past. By selling her I am sort of accepting that I will never be more than a happy hacker/occasional competitor and my little dream of jumping at Hickstead (all be it in an outside ring) or actually getting a BE record won’t be fulfilled. She’s a young horse and has a huge future, I’m a middle-aged happy hacker, and she will be totally wasted with me. I know horses don’t sit in the field and dream of competition, but she does deserve to have a go. I know my riding will never match her ability and, more crucially, I know my lack of confidence could result in a talented young horse being spoilt so I’ve made my decision. I’ll never be able to afford another horse like her.

Has anyone else made a sacrifice like this for a horse and sold one that you know would do better with someone else? I’ve posted in here rather than NL as I hope there will be more realistic and less fluffy responses.

P.S. this isn’t advertising as I’ve not given any detail about the horse in question.......
 

moody_mare

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chin up hun, I just made the same desicion for the same reasons. She will be happy, just make sure you find her lovely new owners who will treat her right & hopefully keep in contact ?
Are you planning on buying one to do hacking or already have one ?
do you want to PM me her details as I'm looking & as a fellow HHO'er you know you would get lots of photos & updates :D
 

BigRed

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You are being very silly. If you like your horse and you are happy hacking with her, for goodness sake keep her. It makes absolutely no difference to you horse whether she hacks with you, or competes, in fact she will have a much happier life hacking rather than being drilled every day in a school, AND a much longer life. As my vet said, constantly being worked on circles in a school does not keep horses sound. So unless you are actually too scared to ride her. Keep her.
 

Lollii

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Why do you want to sell her if you don't really want to :confused:

Will you buy a 'happy hacker' when you have sold her? or do you need the money?

I really don't understand why you are putting yourself through this upset - why don't you just keep her :confused:
 

diggerbez

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You are being very silly. If you like your horse and you are happy hacking with her, for goodness sake keep her. It makes absolutely no difference to you horse whether she hacks with you, or competes, in fact she will have a much happier life hacking rather than being drilled every day in a school, AND a much longer life. As my vet said, constantly being worked on circles in a school does not keep horses sound. So unless you are actually too scared to ride her. Keep her.

^^ i would ditto this... if you have to sell her because of the money or whatever then thats different- but if you LIKE her then keep her! if necessary you could maybe find someone to compete her for you whilst you get to grips with her?
 

flyingfeet

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Ditto BigRed, horses don't give a hoot what they do!

Unless she is too much for you and is difficult to hack or do the jobs you want to do, I too think you are insane.

The only other reason to sell is to make some money.
 

Goya

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Whilst I respect your decision, have you not considered getting someone else to compete/school her for you? I don't know where you are based exactly but I bet there is a talented rider close to you who would maybe jump at the chance.
Just a thought. Then you can still ride her, keep her in the manner to which she is accustomed and everyone would be happy.
 

kerilli

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Whilst I respect your decision, have you not considered getting someone else to compete/school her for you? I don't know where you are based exactly but I bet there is a talented rider close to you who would maybe jump at the chance.
Just a thought. Then you can still ride her, keep her in the manner to which she is accustomed and everyone would be happy.

Exactly this, can't agree more.
She is YOUR horse. She has no ambition, all she wants is a nice secure life, well cared for, etc etc.
If you were selling because she's too difficult for you to ride, i'd totally understand, but if not, i'd find someone to compete her for you, either regularly or occasionally, and enjoy the fact that she'll be well trained and nicer for you to ride, while you maintain control of her destiny. win/win.
 

Sol

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I did the same. I sold a very talented mare, who had lots of scope and was very keen to be doing things, because my parents didn't have the time or money for ME to be doing things, and I didn't think it was fair, and it wasn't doing either of us any favours. She is now with a young lad who does eventing, dressage and jumping with her and is doing brilliantly! It makes me happy to see the FB updates and photos too :)
I did buy another, something less talented and 'ready' (Koo was always fit and always quite a balanced little horse so was quite easy in one respect!) and ended up with Dan. He probably wont go on to be anything amazing, but I have enough fun trying to get what I can out of him and he has a lovely personality :) I'm not unhappy with how it worked out but I do often wish I had Koora back :p
 

mememe

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Keep her! If your only reason for selling her is because you want her to compete theres plenty of talented young riders out there lacking a good horse who would probably love to compete her and then you could still keep her to hack around on!
 

Lisamd

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If it feels wrong don't do it!
I bought a 3.5 year old in March 2008 and by Aug 2008 I had been offered a huge amount of money for him after he showed real promise in BYEH 4yr old classes, I turned it down and went through about 12 months of turmoil that I was (still am) just a riding club rider with a big stupid dream. I had my confidence knocked again when a top rider (Burghley winner) came to try this horses 1/2 brother and wanted to try this one too. I stupidly let him and he wanted him - again i felt stupid for owning him, convinced that people wondered what i was doing with him.
I produced this horse, I love this horse and I will acheive my goal.
2011 is the year I will compete in a CIC* - sounds stupid as I have only ever competed at BE100 and below (lol!) but if you spend more time focussing on what a chance you have with an amazing horse and less time doubting and worrying what others think you'll get there.
I'm 31 this month so think i'm classed as 'middle aged' I only ever wanted to compete at BE Nov as my ultimate goal...but every year the goal posts change, but only when you have the guts to say 'This is my horse and I will ride him as much or as little as I like, standing on my head if i want, because he is mine'...so don't give up, get some fire in your belly and fight back and acheive that goal. Good Luck :)
 

The Bouncing Bog Trotter

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When I bought her I'd just had my twins and I thought buying a young horse to play with and handle would keep my horse addiction satisfied until the twins reached school age and I had the time to dedicate to a ridden horse. However, I didn't anticipate missing riding as much as I did, and so I bought a project. The plan was to sell the project to pay for the youngster to be broken in when the time came.

However, the project has proved to be another superstar, and, being honest and realistic, she suits my lifestyle and my riding ability. I can't afford to keep two horses in livery.

ETS - the youngster is actually an easier horse than the project (and has been a star with the enforced snow layoff while the project has been like a cob on crack coke) and I keep being told she'll be an easy and calm ride, lazy even. Argghh - so I know I thinking that maybe I sell the project and use the funds to give the youngster the start she needs.....
 
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*hic*

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I sold my dream horse last year because only in my wildest imaginings was I ever going to get thin enough to ride her and she was far too good to sit in a field. I hated doing it but it was best for her BECAUSE I COULDN'T RIDE HER AT ALL! (there is a good reason for shouting it!:D) I've never even sat on her.

However, I've kept my daughter's big mare. She's a super horse, she could be going out and doing some serious jumping, she events to Novice, her dressage can be quite smart etc. As it is she hacks with me and we dabble with some dressage and I love doing it and she enjoys just playing around. I could have sold her several times over BUT I COULDN'T HAVE REPLACED HER WITH ANYTHING THAT DID THE JOB I WANTED HER FOR BETTER. So she stays and I enjoy her which leads me to:

I suspect I share your dreams of being a successful rider, and I suspect I'm also several years older as I'll be 50 next year:( The chances of being that good are limited. However if you and I sold our nice horses for something that was perhaps more conventionally suited to our age/ability we would lose that dream entirely. AND WITH THE NICE HORSES WE HAVE IT NEEDN'T BE JUST A DREAM:D

You want a BE record - me too - they've made it easier for old farts like us now with the introduction of BE80(T). Check which ones are on your patch then cancel that ad, enjoy your nag and get aiming towards it. It's an ambition that's there for the fulfilling, if you love it you're already on the path, if your horse takes to it like a duck to water and you feel it's all a bit much then there are people who will happily compete her for you whilst she lives at home.

If she is your dream horse hang on to her and go for the dreams.

Best of luck to you!
 

Goya

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Further to my previous post, I did this myself once. We had a super horse who loved jumping and XC but I couldn't do this any more. I was more than happy doing schooling, hacking, dressage. I got a girl to do the jumping through our Riding Club. They had great fun but I still had my lovely horse to ride and look after.
 

TarrSteps

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But everyone who is saying "keep her" the OP has ANOTHER horse that seems to suit her situation better and the decision is at least in part financial. If the OP can keep it for someone else to ride, great. That's an excellent solution for many people. But if there's another horses that needs time and attention perhaps she can't do enough to keep both at a competitive level?

Also, a "lesser" horse on spec will not necessarily be the less successful in the long run. A spectacular mover/jumper will obviously have the goods to go all the way (IF it all goes the way it should . . ) but it's a much more complicated course, producing a competition horse, and while it's nice to dream of winning at Badminton, the vast majority of us are going to stop short of that so we don't really *need* a 4* horse. There have been lots of good horses that did well at 1*/2* even 3*, without being absolutely top class athletes but because they belonged to riders with whom they had a good relationship and who managed them carefully. Especially for an amateur rider with many other commitments, often the "best" horse is the horse that fits your life the best.

If you keep a horse that will happily and competently do the job you want, regardless of what else it may be able to do, that's one thing. But, to be honest, I often see people keeping a talented horse because of what they dream might happen, even if they and the horse are struggling and/or the horse is expected to do other things in the interim it may be unsuited for. I agree, horses don't care if they win accolades, but there ARE horses that need very particular care and riding - not every horse suits every situation and that's NOT a case of "better or worse" it's horses for courses. If a horse is naturally too big a mover/too powerful a jumper/too sensitive for its rider, do you really think that horse is "happy" in its job, however much the owner loves it?
 
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Firewell

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I'm going to go against the grain here..
I think that you have obviously made a tough decision down to what are valid reasons to you and I don't think you should feel ashamed or guilty that you feel this way.
You know this horse and you know in your heart of hearts if you have a future with this horse and if in the deepest depths you know she should go to a new home then there is nothing wrong with that.
It also doesn't mean you are pigeon holing yourself as a happy hacker. Who knows what you may end up doing in the future, it just means that for now this horse is not the one for all the dreams. Maybe another horse will be.. Maybe the dreams will (are?) changing and that you are going to achieve other things that make you happy.

I think if you know this is the right thing to do then it's the right thing and don't despair :)
 

Smitty

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If she is likely to be stood in her field one evening thinking "Oh rats, i've only been out for a 2 hour hack today and I could have been aiming for Hickstead/Badders" then I think you should sell her.

Otherwise, if you have fun on her and enjoy her, don't need the money and have the time and inclination, keep her and who knows ...
 

dominobrown

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I know how you feel when your not getting anywhere with your horse. 2 years ago I was told to get my horse PTS or sell it. After one big fall out I put him up for sale. The next day he was brillant and I had got a few texts from intrested people. I told them he was sold and I kept him.
This summer we did a bit of eventing and he is brillant. I could not even come near to affording a horse like him now. So glad I kept him.

What I am trying to say is not to give up on your ambitions and most things take time, time, hardwork and time.
 

angelish

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You are being very silly. If you like your horse and you are happy hacking with her, for goodness sake keep her. It makes absolutely no difference to you horse whether she hacks with you, or competes, in fact she will have a much happier life hacking rather than being drilled every day in a school, AND a much longer life. As my vet said, constantly being worked on circles in a school does not keep horses sound. So unless you are actually too scared to ride her. Keep her.

very much agree with this

i sold a fantastic pony a few years ago could of gone on to do all sorts ,wasn't fare for me to keep her as i had 2 and couldn't part with my other one
what is she doing now ?
sweet fa or hammering around like a idiot out of control all my schooling ruined ,stopping at jumps etc etc
she is in a loving forever home but
banghead.gif
 
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