Demolition_Derby
Well-Known Member
First of all I am so sorry that this is so long - I spent ages writing it and have actually edited about half of it out already
!!
I have had my little old pony for 13 years, Ive had her since I was 8 years old.
We have been through so much together, mentally and physically. She has attempted suicide 3 times (broke a knee, then nearly decapitated herself (I am not joking!) and last year she smashed her nose in completely shattering the bone down the front of her face). She has been there for me starting a new school, my parents divorcing, first boyfriend (and break up!), I cannot count the times that I have cried in her mane, sat and talked to her for hours and even slept in her stable
. We often used to go off for the whole day by ourselves and just wander for miles around the Forest . I have got so many happy memories with her and I honestly know that I will never ever feel the same love or connection/bond with any other horse, which sounds awful as I do have another horse.
This pony is a saint to have put up with the many many hours of grooming, plaiting (I went through a phase of plaiting her mane and tail every time I rode
!!), god knows how many awful hair cuts, bathing, bandage practise etc .
My chocolate addiction coupled with the arthritis in her hocks meant that she has been retired for the last 2 years but I have made such an effort to still get her out and about, we go for walkies in hand every weekend and I try to get her out as much as possible in the week but with another horse to keep fit, a dog to walk and a full time job its hard! I took her to the beach in November, which is something I have always wanted to do, and I had a sneaky canter on her which was amazing, she felt so natural and comfortable.
The whole point of this long (sorry I honestly did not intend it to be so long!) post was that I have decided that the time has come. She has had Cushings for the last few years and although it hasnt affected her much on the outside it is taking its toll on the inside. She has had several blood tests over the winter and her insulin levels are not healthy and her liver is slowly getting worse. At the end of the summer she developed an awful skin problem that after biopsies they concluded that she was allergic to almost everything, including grass!! There was not a lot we could obv do about that and she was already stabled on shavings and fed haylage. It got to the stage that she would rub herself raw if she gave her access to a fence, I discussed with my vet then about having her PTS as I was so worried that she was uncomfortable and she said to hold out until the winter and see if the cooler weather helps. She LOVES the winter as she adores coming in, being groomed, made a fuss of and loves her stable! She has done very well through the winter but now its coming to summer and I know that her skin will get bad again, it has already started very slightly, she is on danilon daily now to help her stiffness, gets bandaged every night to help her arthritis, has to be clipped whenever her hair starts to grow (advised by vet and lab), and thus has to be well rugged (I enjoyed my rug shopping the first time I clipped her I spent over £400
!!) and very well fed!
All these things may not seem to anyone else a reason to PTS but she is not the same little pony that she used to be, she is comfortable and content, but thats the thing I am not sure that she is particularly happy anymore, just content
. I have always said from day 1 I never want to look back at the last few weeks or even days of her life and think she was in pain/miserable. I heard a very good saying on here; I think it was from AmyMay its better to do a month too early than a day too late. I really do agree with this.
I am just finding it so hard to come to terms with the fact that I am never going to see her face again, I will never get to hug her again
. I rang up yesterday and booked it all, I am not usually sentimental about things but I have decided to get her cremated (at a cost of over £500 !! So nobody tell me that I wont get her ashes back
!!). She is going to sleep on April 3rd at 3.30pm, I have decided to have her shot (that sounds so blunt !) as I feel thats the most humane way for her. I feel so empty and numb, I honestly cant imagine my life without her. I am just so grateful that I have the next 10 days to say goodbye properly as I know a lot of owners dont get that privilege.
I have no idea what I expect people to say to this post but some one please reassure me that this will get easier
.
I have had my little old pony for 13 years, Ive had her since I was 8 years old.
We have been through so much together, mentally and physically. She has attempted suicide 3 times (broke a knee, then nearly decapitated herself (I am not joking!) and last year she smashed her nose in completely shattering the bone down the front of her face). She has been there for me starting a new school, my parents divorcing, first boyfriend (and break up!), I cannot count the times that I have cried in her mane, sat and talked to her for hours and even slept in her stable
This pony is a saint to have put up with the many many hours of grooming, plaiting (I went through a phase of plaiting her mane and tail every time I rode
My chocolate addiction coupled with the arthritis in her hocks meant that she has been retired for the last 2 years but I have made such an effort to still get her out and about, we go for walkies in hand every weekend and I try to get her out as much as possible in the week but with another horse to keep fit, a dog to walk and a full time job its hard! I took her to the beach in November, which is something I have always wanted to do, and I had a sneaky canter on her which was amazing, she felt so natural and comfortable.
The whole point of this long (sorry I honestly did not intend it to be so long!) post was that I have decided that the time has come. She has had Cushings for the last few years and although it hasnt affected her much on the outside it is taking its toll on the inside. She has had several blood tests over the winter and her insulin levels are not healthy and her liver is slowly getting worse. At the end of the summer she developed an awful skin problem that after biopsies they concluded that she was allergic to almost everything, including grass!! There was not a lot we could obv do about that and she was already stabled on shavings and fed haylage. It got to the stage that she would rub herself raw if she gave her access to a fence, I discussed with my vet then about having her PTS as I was so worried that she was uncomfortable and she said to hold out until the winter and see if the cooler weather helps. She LOVES the winter as she adores coming in, being groomed, made a fuss of and loves her stable! She has done very well through the winter but now its coming to summer and I know that her skin will get bad again, it has already started very slightly, she is on danilon daily now to help her stiffness, gets bandaged every night to help her arthritis, has to be clipped whenever her hair starts to grow (advised by vet and lab), and thus has to be well rugged (I enjoyed my rug shopping the first time I clipped her I spent over £400
All these things may not seem to anyone else a reason to PTS but she is not the same little pony that she used to be, she is comfortable and content, but thats the thing I am not sure that she is particularly happy anymore, just content
I am just finding it so hard to come to terms with the fact that I am never going to see her face again, I will never get to hug her again
I have no idea what I expect people to say to this post but some one please reassure me that this will get easier
