I have lost my confidence and I don't know what to do...

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Ehound679

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Hi, I was wondering weather anyone could help me. I loaned my horse for a year but on my birthday 6 months ago I was given the horse by the original owners.

We later decided it was best to move yards as the other place lacked grass and the new yard was more convenient for us. However on the first night of moving him he crashed through the fencing and hurt his back. As consequence, he has not been ridden since.

He used to be really relaxed however now he has a lot of energy and seems like a different horse which is understandable because he hasn't been ridden. But now I struggle to handle him now which means I am very anxious when I get on board as his back is better now and he is now able to be ridden. This then makes him tense. I even get tense when doing stuff with him on ground.

I just really need some advice on what I should do because i don't want to sell him obviously but I don't want him to just be a ornament in the field. I really want to be the same with him as I was 6 months ago. And advice is very welcome. Thanks for reading :)
 
Have you tried doing some groundwork with him? It's a good way to reassert yourself as a confident handler, while giving you the opportunity to bond on the ground.

I empathise with how you feel, having had a break from horses after I lost my nerve, during which I couldn't even go near them on the ground. The only way to overcome it for me, was to spend time with them again. Just remembering how to understand and enjoy them, learning to trust them and then getting back in the saddle :)
 
Cut out all feed except hay, he won't be half as feisty without it. It will do him no harm, if he has plenty of hay he will be fine on that. Feeding makes a massive difference to energy levels.
 
I have had many instructors over the years. ONE has restored my confidence so much that I enjoy schooling, ride two of my Arabians, which I thought too hot for me and actually jumped this week for the first time in 15 years.

These are MY rules with an instructor. MY pace, don't give me lots of things to do. Is it my leg? my posture? etc, let us do one thing at a time.

Someone who you trust who will understand your lack of confidence would be the first step IMO.
 
Was discussing this with my friend during this morning's hack. My confidence has been up and down, though improving recently. Last night, something had upset all the horses on our yard - even the old boy was off his feed which is unheard of.

They were turned out first thing while we mucked out and then we brought them in to ride. My horse was still wound up, mini rears on the yard and eyes out on stalks.

So, basically I pretended there was nothing different to normal and did everything, just much more slowly. Eg, scraped some of the moulting hair off, wandered around the yard, scrapped a bit more off, wander, stick saddle and fluorescent sheet on, wander, stick bridle on, wander, stand holding him for ten minutes and then got on. He was tense and his default setting is to rush off as though his bum is on fire which then makes me tense and becomes a vicious circle.

So we stood on the yard for ten minutes, while I faffed with girth and gloves, then we stood on the drive until he was quiet, then we set off. He was still tense so I did a bit of singing, which works with him, and we had a reasonable hour's hack with only a couple of silly moments. We had a couple of short trots, during the second of which he got quite strong, but I am lucky enough to have a very considerate wingman who is always happy to go at our pace.

Sorry this is a bit of an essay but the conclusion we came to is that, with my horse, you have to fake it until you make it, as the saying goes. If he thinks I am in charge, he is so much better. I have never had issues on the ground, even though he can be a bit of a so and so, and, therefore, his ground manners have improved no end. Now I'm faking the same attitude when riding and it is working. It's really hard at first when all you really want to do is cling on (or get off!) but the positive body language, which in my case consists of sitting ramrod straight when he starts to rush, is helping us both.
 
Lots and lots of ground work and walking out inhand. I am still getting my confidence back after coming off a couple of months ago. I found that doing the grounwork and taking him for walks helped get my horse back into work mode. Take your time and don't put too much pressure on yourself. You will get there x
 
If you haven't ridden for the six months of his recovery, I think it may be worth having a couple of lessons on a school horse, just to remind you that you can do it :) Owning and having all the responsibility for a horse is different from even loaning and I think it can do odd things to our subconscious. Agree with take it slowly and the value of having a good wingman on a calm horse, along with no hard feed at all and as I said, getting your own confidence and riding muscles going again by riding a horse which is the responsibility of someone else :)
 
I lost my nerve recently, and the thought of riding made me feel sick. I have a wonderful instructor who told me to go right back to basics. She also suggested getting on for say 10 minutes the first day, 15 the next etc. until I felt happy. I think with me it was the thought of getting on - once I was on I got on with it.
 
Take in to account it has been a very mild Winter and the grass he has been on is probably as high in calories and rocket fuel. So not being ridden and also having had loads of grass will not have helped the situation.
My intitial instinct would be to get the horse thoroughly checked out by a vet to determine if he has any problems as a result of his injury and once he has been cleared then put him on restricted grazing to reduce his grass intake and hopefully he will return to his old self and you will feel more confident with him and then be able to start riding him again.
 
Some really good advice re feeding, company out hacking, ground work, lessons on a school horse to get you back into the groove, and enlisting a sympathetic trainer to ride him and train you on him. Lunge before riding if you need to.

I have had a bit of a confidence crisis myself recently, which isn't really like me, I have always joked that I have far more confidence than ability. It's not that I was nervous, or afraid of riding or the horse, I just completely lost faith in my own ability as a rider. Not helpful with a rising five WB!

But what I have learned in the last week and a half is that confidence can come back as quickly and mysteriously as it left. For me, it was a week in boot camp (for the horse) with my trainer, followed by an amazing lesson with him, some really focused practice sessions with a kind friend being my eyes on the ground, and then another awesome lesson. I am very very lucky to have such excellent support around me. Also my friend videoed the first lesson, so I could watch it back several times, and it really helped to see the rider on the video not looking like the useless idiot I had been feeling like! In actual fact, we looked pretty good, which came as a bit of a surprise!

If you really want it, you will do it. Very best of luck.
 
Thank u everyone for your help and advice! I think I might invest in a instructor to help me with my confidence till we are back to our usual selves! And change his feed. It doesn't help he is a Arab and they are known for Being quirky! Anymore advice is very welcome! Thank u! :) x
 
Definitely see if you can find a good instructor, and be fussy! Choose one you like and who you trust. I found that it even helped just to have a knowledgeable friend watching as I rode. There were times when I'd have a bit of a wobble and my friend would just tell me the horse was fine, not going to buck, run off or any of the other disasters going through my mind!
Also, take the pressure off yourself, tell yourself that all you're going to do is tack up and get on then get off. Next time get on and just walk for a couple of minutes, build it up slowly. Once you are doing a bit more I find it helps to keep changing direction, making turns, doing circles, just keep his mind and yours focused on the next move, rather than on getting stressed.
Don't be cross with yourself if the nerves come back again after your confidence returns, they can sneak back up on you for the daftest reason, or no reason at all. It will only be temporary though and you can get through it.
Good luck x
 
If you're having trouble handling him on the ground, make sure you're not cutting corners due to lack of time or wanting to get things over with quickly. Gloves, hat and steel toed boots, just knowing you're as safe as possible can help reduce your fear of injury. Lead in a bridle or lunge cavesson instead of a headcollar. Take him in the arena where he'll be accustomed to working and walk/halt/turn/trot/back up etc making him behave and do it sensibly. Do the same in the field and when you're leading him in so he understands he must behave everywhere.

Progress to lungeing . Use a roller or the saddle and loose side reins just to give you a little more control. Same thing as before, walk/halt/trot and make him behave. Lungeing will give him a bit of work to help to get the silliness out of his system before you start riding. I give mine 5min to be distracted, buck, ignore me etc then its down to work.

Lungeing before you ride will take the edge off too. Have someone else lunge you to start with so you can focus on relaxing and they can control the horse. Riding school lessons and/or lessons on your own horse can help too.

Pick your day wisely, don't make the first ride a day where eg plastic bags are blowing about and other people are jumping in the arena. Pick a calm, quiet day when you and him are feeling fairly relaxed in general, a day you've got time to take it slowly without clock watching. If you're hacking or sharing the arena with others pick people with calm sensible horses.
 
Echo what a lot here are saying - do lots of groundwork, lunging, handling or even just going for walks with your horse. Have a few lessons on something calm, sensible where an instructor can focus on you. When you are doing that with no issues have a lesson yours with an instructor that gets your issues. Do everything at a pace you are comfortable with and focus on every positive.
 
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