I haven’t been invited ?

[canteron]

So it’s maybe an oversight but I haven’t been invited to the liveries Christmas party.

I’ve been there for 6 months and get on fine with everyone as far as I can tell …. I try and smile, be friendly, but not be needy and everyone is lovely and cheerful back.

Other things in life area are tough at the moment so I am surprised how hurt I am.

How should I deal with it - wait and see if I get an invite or ask the YM if I have upset someone or ???? …. I really don’t want to look needy!! Do I need to worry if it’s personal if they are doing a good job for me??!

I am on the highest level of livery with all bells and whistles and always pay promptly!

 

[spotty_pony]

Hmm surely everybody should be invited? Maybe they have missed you out by mistake because you are newish?

 

[AmyMay]

It’ll be an oversight for sure.

 

[Sossigpoker]

Oh that's awful , I'd be so upset!

If it's a party arranged by the yard owner, I might try and approach it as a joke , like "ooh my invite must have got lost so what time do you want me ?"
Surely it must be a mistake if it's arranged by the yard.

 

[MuddyMonster]

It's probably just an oversight for sure, so try not to get too upset in the meantime.

I'd ask the YM in passing if anything has been arranged yet, as you hadn't heard anymore about it.

 

[Winters100]

I am quite sure that it was an oversight. Were the emails sent by email, maybe someone used an old list which did not include you? Don't feel hurt until you know that there is something worth feeling hurt about. I would just approach YO with a smile and ask in a joking tone 'did I do something to upset you as I seem to be the only one not invited for the Christmas party?'. Chances are that YO will be mortified at their oversight and tell you that of course you are invited. If not then at least you know where you stand and you can ask them what the problem is.

Chin up, everyone is human and they probably just made a mistake.

 

[tiahatti]

Wonder how people were invited? If emailed, could they have typed your email address incorrectly or something like that?
As others have said, I would ask if they are arranging anything. Could be that the organiser will feel terrible having forgotten you. He/she might have just referred to an old guest list.

 

[McFluff]

I’d play the daft lassie and just ask whether the yard gets together for a social at Christmas. It’s most likely an oversight, or a mistyped email or similar.

 

[Equi]

I’d be happy. But then I hate social gatherings and generally say no ?

As others have said it’ll be an oversight. Don’t worry, there’s still time til xmas!

 

[AmyMay]

How were the invites sent out?

 

[LadyGascoyne]

Check your junk emails - it might be there.

 

[luckyoldme]

That's very awkward.
I'm sure it will an oversight.
I've not been invited to my work do. I just started last week and the invites went out last week so I'm sure it's an oversight.
Slightly different for me as I don't want to go so I'm not saying anything and I can do the whole wounded thing afterwards if I feel the need!??

 

[Flowerofthefen]

A number of years ago we were on a big hunting livery yard. I bought the horse from there so kept him there for a while. It was very cliquey. Most were on full livery , I was DIY. We didn't get invited to a big party but I really didn't mind as really didn't want to go. Was up the yard one morning and YO came over apologising that they had left us off list and of course we were welcome to go!! Had to go after that really!! As others have said its more than likely an oversight.

 

[Red-1]

I am sure it is an admin error; old list or mis-type, could it be in your spam folder if it is an email you don't usually use?

If it is plausible that you don't know about it, I would ask innocently if the yard has a Xmas get-together. If others know you know, I would ask the YO if you have upset someone. They will likely be mortified at their error.

 

[Jellymoon]

Oh, that’s not nice and I completely get why you would be hurt, especially if you are feeling down at the moment. Hopefully it’s not intentional, would be surprised if you have been deliberately left off. Is everyone else def invited? Is it organised by YM? If so, I would say something to the YM along the lines of, you are worried you have been left off because you may have unintentionally upset someone and you would like to know so you can rectify it. Doesn’t have to be ‘please invite me to your party’. You could always say, ‘I actually can’t go anyway as I’m going to the Beaufort hunt ball/Paris in a helicopter/fancy polo party with very hot men on that night, but I’d be devastated if I thought I’d upset someone and I’d like to apologise.’

 

[Grassy]

This happened to me once, I asked one of the other liveries about it & she said “oh you’re not invited” then literally the whole yard, who I thought were my friends went out for a Christmas meal without me, I was really hurt & just stayed away from them all after that. I suspect in your case though it’s just an oversight, I’d just casually ask if they usually have a Christmas party.

 

[Pinkvboots]

All our events got written on the board in the tack room you just added your name and it got booked.

How were the others invited and who organised it?

 

[LaurenBay]

I'd play dumb and just ask the YO if they usually do a Christmas do.

 

[fidleyspromise]

This happened to me once, I asked one of the other liveries about it & she said “oh you’re not invited” then literally the whole yard, who I thought were my friends went out for a Christmas meal without me, I was really hurt & just stayed away from them all after that. I suspect in your case though it’s just an oversight, I’d just casually ask if they usually have a Christmas party.

That's awful but at least you knew they were not your friends at all. I'm sorry they were like that to you.

OP - do you know how were the others invited? Was it spoken or messaged?

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I’d be happy. But then I hate social gatherings and generally say no ?

As others have said it’ll be an oversight. Don’t worry, there’s still time til xmas!

Another who'd be delighted as someone who tends to keep themselves to themselves and hates social gatherings!

 

[canteron]

Thanks all - I only know because I heard them all chatting about it and one of the (really new) liveries messaged me to see if I was going - at the Summer party it was a FB message and I was included so …. who knows

But on reflection, probably not my thing if I was invited so I will just maybe check in due course I haven’t totally insulted someone and apologise if needed.

I guess if I am polite (well I really try to be just hoping I haven’t offended someone) and they are ok back, then that’s what is really important for a happy yard - and thank you for your good thoughts on not taking it too personally!

 

[Pinkvboots]

Maybe it's just that it's open to everyone and there isn't official invites, it's not nice to exclude people in this situation and causes bad feelings I think but it obviously goes on. ?

 

[WWO]

Another who'd be delighted as someone who tends to keep themselves to themselves and hates social gatherings!

Snap

 

[luckyoldme]

This happened to me once, I asked one of the other liveries about it & she said “oh you’re not invited” then literally the whole yard, who I thought were my friends went out for a Christmas meal without me, I was really hurt & just stayed away from them all after that. I suspect in your case though it’s just an oversight, I’d just casually ask if they usually have a Christmas party.

Ouch that's harsh.
I'll be your friend ?