I know I shouldn't feel hurt but....

[indiat]

...I am so tired of the cliqueness of yards! We've been on our yard for years, paid on time every month, helped out when the place has been busy, my children are active in the pony club. I've always felt a little on the outside as there are not many liveries up there my age (tend to be kids) and most of the other adults up there work on the yard. But that is OK. I'm a big girl, I can make my own friends. But they had an open day today, with the kids doing riding displays - my two are the only ones not doing anything! Before anyone asks, they are really good riders! They always try to helpful and cheerful and volunteer on the yard on a Saturday. They are heartbroken, my 12 year old in particular. I can't wait to move into my own place and be able to step back from all this and look after our pony how I want to in peace and quiet. They were so excited this morning, getting their pony in and washing him. Sorry for the self pity post.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

When I was 12, I'd have been gutted about that too. Where they deliberately left out or was it an oversight?

 

[kinnygirl1]

...I am so tired of the cliqueness of yards! We've been on our yard for years, paid on time every month, helped out when the place has been busy, my children are active in the pony club. I've always felt a little on the outside as there are not many liveries up there my age (tend to be kids) and most of the other adults up there work on the yard. But that is OK. I'm a big girl, I can make my own friends. But they had an open day today, with the kids doing riding displays - my two are the only ones not doing anything! Before anyone asks, they are really good riders! They always try to helpful and cheerful and volunteer on the yard on a Saturday. They are heartbroken, my 12 year old in particular. I can't wait to move into my own place and be able to step back from all this and look after our pony how I want to in peace and quiet. They were so excited this morning, getting their pony in and washing him. Sorry for the self pity post.

Aw, I can understand that you feel hurt. Anything that hurts your kids is very hard to bear. I know it's cliche but it's their loss if they don't include your girls.

 

[sasquatch]

unfortunately it happens on some yards, I've always been told that to try and avoid them and if needs be keep my head down and get on with what I have to do. it's a shame as I've heard of people who've been at yards for years leave because of cliques. it doesn't help with the 'equestrian' stereotype, either

if possible, could you ask the YO/whoever organised the open day why your children weren't in any displays? it might be they were just 'forgotten' about when it came to choosing who did what or there was a sign-up you maybe didn't see.

it's awful that you've been made to feel this way OP spending time with your horse should be enjoyable and it's not fair when others take the enjoyment away through cliques and cattiness.
maybe having a word with the YO (if you feel that would help) or trying to just keep your head down until you can move to your own place might help you get through it.
I know it's hard, especially when you don't want to feel like you're complaining over nothing or speaking to someone might make it worse.

and don't feel sorry for the self pity post, we all need to get things off our chest sometimes

 

[indiat]

Faracat, I have no idea but the kids have been asking for ages if they could do something today and my eldest was TOLD she would be doing something with our pony. He's a bit of a plod but she could have ridden a riding school pony if they thought he wouldn't put an impressive display on. They always seem to be left on the side lines. I am so hurt for them. Silly, I know, it's one thing I said I would never do when I had kids! But hopefully we will be on our place soon enough and it will just be us, hopefully with another pony to enjoy. I am hoping going to pony club events will not be as cliquey as being on a yard.

 

[indiat]

Thank you Sasquatch! It doesn't bother me, as long as the pony is happy, I'm happy, if I can make friends as well, I see it as a bonus. It's not that people are unpleasant up at the yard, not at all. But my kids want to join and make friends and I do feel sorry for them. They always seem to be on the outside of things. Perhaps it is just a mix up but when your child calls you in tears it is hard not to get angry.

 

[southerncomfort]

Completely understand how you feel. I'm not so bothered if people snub me but it cuts like a knife if someone hurts my children's feelings!

Personally, I would probably want to take the organiser to one side in a day or two and just gently ask what went wrong and mention how upset your daughters were. I imagine she/he will be utterly mortified and it will all be down to some kind of mix up.

 

[indiat]

southerncomfort, I really hope so!

 

[Meowy Catkin]

In that case - that's just plain mean to leave them out like that.

Good luck finding your own place.

Don't forget that in the Picture Gallery section of this forum there are lots of classes for the HHO Photo Show. Maybe they would like to enter that. I know it's not the same as doing a display, but maybe taking nice photos etc... would distract then a bit.

 

[indiat]

Thank you for that Faracat, I didn't know about that! They were a bit more cheerful when I picked them up but I must admit, I hope we are on our own place by mas. Cliques are never nice, no matter how old you are! I am so looking forward to just pottering about and doing my own thing and hearing only birds singing.

 

[_GG_]

Completely understand how you feel. I'm not so bothered if people snub me but it cuts like a knife if someone hurts my children's feelings!

Personally, I would probably want to take the organiser to one side in a day or two and just gently ask what went wrong and mention how upset your daughters were. I imagine she/he will be utterly mortified and it will all be down to some kind of mix up.

I would do this too. For the remainder of the time there, it would be nice if this didn't happen again.

In that case - that's just plain mean to leave them out like that.

Good luck finding your own place.

Don't forget that in the Picture Gallery section of this forum there are lots of classes for the HHO Photo Show. Maybe they would like to enter that. I know it's not the same as doing a display, but maybe taking nice photos etc... would distract then a bit.

Brilliant Idea

 

[peaceandquiet1]

It is really awful to deliberately leave your kids out. I can never understand the behaviour of some people. Last year my daughter was in a PC games team and missed one or two practices due to a health problem, which got sorted out. The trainer had already decided not to let her ride but didn't say so and let us drive miles to the Zone finals and leave her sitting on her pony in the colllecting ring wondering why she wasn't riding in the races she usually did. She got sunburn through her shirt sitting there in the heat. No one actually told her she wouldn't be riding. They let her sit there and wonder. After that, we finished the season-including riding at Championships-but left PC.

My point is-if your kids weren't going to be included that should have been made clear. And really-they should have been-disgraceful.

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

Ah, that's cruel. Adults can try & treat me like *****, but mess with my child and animals & then we have a problem. So unnecessary.

 

[showpony]

Totally agree... I would be raging and would totally have a serious word with .whoever organised . what a rotten thing for your kids to have been left out.

Ah, that's cruel. Adults can try & treat me like *****, but mess with my child and animals & then we have a problem. So unnecessary.

 

[Elsiecat]

Your poor children. I'd be devastated if I was you as well.

 

[dogatemysalad]

Gosh, I'd be incredibly hurt too, I don't blame you for feeling upset. Good luck with moving to your own place soon.

 

[Marydoll]

If it was on purpose, what a ****** thing to do to kids, speak to the person who organised it and find out why they were excluded, if theyre snotty with you, show them this thread

 

[Pinkvboots]

That is so cruel, I would have to tell whoever organised the event how upset they were, I keep my horses at home its bliss I really dont miss yard politics, I bet you cant wait to leave you will love it.

 

[YorksG]

Do the yard know that you are moving to your own place, it shouldn't make any difference, but some people can be very spiteful.

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

That's really sad for them OP. Some people can be so mean. If they were my children they'd be volunteering somewhere else on Saturdays in future.

 

[indiat]

I am sure it was just an oversight, but I will be pointing it out. I have told them we are looking for our own place YorksG, because the kids would never have kept it quiet! The YO has been very kind to us over the years and I didn't want her to think we were going behind her back, so I did tell her.