I miss horses so much!! (Moan alert!!)

atlantis

atlantis

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I sold my lovely coloured boy 5 years ago when my OH was starting his new business and we were down to one wage for a bit. I had a couple of share horses for a couple of years who were fab and taught me a lot. I then got pregnant with my little girl and had complications, so ive ridden once in the past two years.

Money means that i cant afford my own and my little girl is 17 months now and with very limited childcare i dont think I could manage a share. We've moved to a new area and although i would feel happy taking her with me to an unknown yard and having her toddling about into everything and me with eyes in the back of my head. Ive got no one to leave her with. I moaned to mil tonight who simply said i have to accept that im not going to get another horse unless i win the lottery. Poor hubby is working his b*****s off with his business and its going great and all i want is more all the time.

I don't know anyone in the local area and tbh im not sure we can afford for me to have lessons on a schoolmaster as id like to and i don't think a 'normal' riding school would do it for me either. Been there done that.

I come on here (lurking mainly) and im so jealous of everyone who seems to manage to have everything. Husband, family job and horses. Im struggling with feeking guilty leaving my little girl to go to work and feeling guilty not doing my job properly. I was like a zombie today after a crap night with Florrie.

And yet all i want to do is ride. Someone i know has offered me a 'free' (probably a catch) ex racehorse and im so pissed off that i cant even consider it, but theres so many reasons why i cant...

Its not fair why cant i win the euromillions!!!

Sorry moan over. Malteasers to anyone who has read all of this, although ive only got a few left!!
 
Well I read all of it but I won't take your Malteseasers as I think you need them more than I do!

Try to think positive, little people aren't that little forever and you will eventually get to a point where you can either get childcare or take her with you places. In the meantime, what area are you in and have you tried seeing if anyone local would be willing to help by letting you go and play with their horses, even if it isn't riding? You might be surprised what you find. I've got an amazingly safe cob who I'd love to have hacked out for me once or twice every week purely because he needs so much regular road work I can't always fit it in. He'd be a perfect confidence giver, and I can't be the only person around with a horse like him. Try tack shops, facebook groups etc, you never know. :) x
 
Atlantis, thank you for giving me a kick up the backside I needed I have been feeling sorry for myself with no real reason.
you need a horsey fix somehow are you working full time ? If not could MIL babysit while you did something horsey now and again .
 
Im the same :( i miss horses so much. Iv been away for 7 months now and i wish i could get another. Their just isnt enough hours in the day working 2 jobs and getting married i dont have 5 mins to myself.
Iv had so many offers to ride other peoples but i just dont have the time between jobs and its driving me nuts :(
Im hoping once were married ill get some land and be able to have a few horses.
Ill split the euro millions if you will :o:D
 
Im in leicestershire near hinckley/lutterworth. I probably just need a moan and ill sit out the winter and by the spring Florrie will be that little bit older and it might seem more doable.

How do people with non horsey families and children and little money do it, or do they just not. Ive already decided i don't want us to have any more children. My (mumsy) friends are planning their second child and i'm planning my next horse. I couldn't wait any longer than i had to for a horse.

Thank god for my daughter. She is amazing (and seems to love horses when we do see them). I think im impaitient for her to be older. Bring on pony club!!

Ets thanks or all the replies guys. I have got a friend who has actually asked for help with her boys.
(Horses!!!) Shes miles away but its probably doable every now and then at a weekend.

Mil works part time but they go away to their caravan for the rest of the week. She also has florrie 1 day. I work part time but there is literally no one else to have her.

Youre right bikerchickone she wont be little forever.

To put it into context oh just got in from work!! He works so hard.
 
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Hi Atlantis,

Although I love Malteasers I really think you need them more than I - wish you were Notts based so I could offer more help.

I know where you're coming from I Really do, I advise is to get onto some local free ads (preloved etc) and look out for owners who need a rider/companion rider or someone to care for their horse a day a week - or more if you can do it - there are some who want a v. small contribution (far less than a lesson) or work in return for rides - or advertise for yourself. Or can you possibly offer yourself for a days work to a local riding school in return for a ride? - I know you've been there/done that but might be worth it for a short term horsey fix?

MIL doesn't sound too helpful - but could she offer childcare for one day whilst you have a 'me' day?

:)
 
Hi ST. All good iseas. Maybe the work for rides thing is a good idea. I will investigate locally. I feel mean about mil actually. She really does loads but has worked so hard all her life and works monday wed and thurs and has florrie on a tuesday. They then go away friday til sunday night to their caravan and its the break they need. Shes suffered withnher health and is actually enjoying life at the mo and both oh and i dont feel we can ask them to do any more.

Fil works for oh now. They are both so supportive but they just dont get horses at all. When I had my boy they came to watch me to take videos and pictures and just support me, which is more than my own patents ever have done. They just dont get the 'need' to ride i suppose.

Have texted my friend and am going to see her on saturday. Whoops its a bit late!! Oh is happy to have florrie so i can have some horsey time. His business is at the point where they need to expand as they have so much work on :) so oh is ran ragged. They are looking at new premeses and if that works out then Nother person may be on the cards so he won't be so busy.

I think waiting til I can take florrie with me and involve her would be best. Any more ideas for horsie 'fixes' would be great. I have yhl tickets as i always used to enjoy that. Do riding clubs need helpers much? I presume they do and it'd be good contacts. What do you think. Give up the odd weekend day to steward or write at the dressage say?
 
Can you find someone who wants free help with a pony? You might not get to ride but you would get your horsey fix. If its a kids pony or retired companion you could take daughter with you. Understand completely that caring for an unknown 16.2 on a busy yard where you don't know anyone with a toddler in tow might not be ideal, but perfectly safe with a small or quiet one. And once you meet local horsey people you'll no doubt get offers to ride & meet other mums who can share babysitting & riding with you. And not necessary to win the lottery, I'm hardly in the rich list! Can't afford transport or comps, just local shows for daughter, but manage to keep us a pony each, just have a v strict budget.
 
Thanks so much horsesatemymoney!! You guys have all cheered me up loads. It feels great to have a moan to people who understand. I feel much better. i think i miss horsey people as much as horsees. I see my horsey friends so infrequently now we've moved and non horsey types look at me so blankley.

Better try to get some sleep as Florrie will rpobably wake me again tonight as shes teething and I have a full day at work tomorrow.

Thanks again.
 
I completely sympathise. I can't have my own due to work commitments and would love something just to ride regularly twice a week which would be manageable. I am lucky I get lots of offers and have some great friends with horses that if I need a fix I can ride and enjoy.

I found here was the best place when I asked where to look for a horse to ride when I wanted to get back into it a few years ago. Hopefully you will find something even if it's once a week.
 
Hi Altantis,

Hope Florrie doesn't keep you up all night (Bonjela and and Calpol have saved my sanity on many a night).

Back to horsey business - Check out local shows, riding clubs via facebook, have a chat to them and see if you can help out or better if someone needs some help - even if it's an afternoon.

If MIL is happy to have wee Florrie - and i'm sure she is then don't feel guilty - That's great - and if OH wants to send time with little one whilst you let off steam then go for it.

The opportunities are there - check out local sites/opportunites and be selfish for a a day if your family are offering the opportunity - you deserve it as a mum - it's hard work being a mum and you need a break too - even if it's for a day or an afternoon - and especially in horsey company :D:D
 
I think you're generally lonely as you just moved, and are finding the mums you've met are going to have heaps of kids making you the odd one out. I'd check out the local riding clubs, in the winter they often do things for fundraising like quiz nights, or lectures on different topics, and also barn dances and balls, aside from helpers to fence judge/dressage write. You could I'm sure get OH to look after your daughter once she's in bed, and go out and mix with some horsey people for an evening out. I'm sure there will be others with young children might want a hand with a horse in return for a hand with a small child, or similar.

Likewise, I'd checkout some local activities for you and Florrie. Have a look on Netmums, also see if there's a local free magazine eg Families which says what's on and when, try some other things outside of your usual circle and see if you happen upon someone also horsey. Before you know it you'll be hauling Florrie off to Pony Club twice a week, hacking out with friends while she's at school and wondering how you ever had time to complain you didn't get to do anything horsey!
 
Ggggrrrrr posted too soon.

They're lovely but they don't even get me walking the dog every day, let alone wanting to ride. My family aren't local (and are totally non horsey lol). I think I need to see if I can find something to do with Florrie on a Friday (my day off) that is a bit more out doorsy. I'm sing and signed out!!!

Don't get me wrong I love doing the baby stuff but I don't feel like me.
 
Ooops didn't finish ... Was about to buy one when I fell pregnant. Then we went through a veey tough time financially as my OH was unemployed for a fair while. But things turned around and finally got a family pony last year for daughters, and I have a lovely boy on loan for me. So don't give up hope. I think it does get easier/more feasible as the children get older and can be involved. Hipe you manage to sort something out.
 
My local yard has mums and tots lessons! Its a total cad....the mum leads the tot on pony!!! :D But introducing the little lady early could reap reward!!!??
Im in NI but this yard cant be the only place that does it...coincidentally, its on Fri too!
Also, I know OH is busy etc. But have you thought to explain to him? My ex was sooo non-horsey, didnt get my fanaticism (he called H&H my 'porn'!!!), but after a few weeks away from it, he literally put me in the car and drove me to a field of ponies just to help me get my fix!!! (Dont all think hes wonderful, why get rid- he cheated on me!!!)
I just wanted to point out that sometimes menfolk can support our happiness :D
 
Im at uni and have also just had a little girl, shes 14 weeks. But i have approached a local farmer who is willing to rent his field 4 £6 a week. Amazing i know! But it means i can get a couple of youngsters, one for me n one for daughter, let them grow and be horses whilst i am at uni and then when daughters a little older and ive saved some moneys they will be ready for bringing on. Is there any way something like that may work for you? It may mean waiting.before you can ride but at least you can take the little one down to visit them in the field until shes a little older :) x
 
That is an idea moon. One for me and one for florrie!! :) its worth investigating.

Can i just say how lovely everyone on this forum is. I just came on for a moan and thought writing it down would help. I never imagined that this post would reach 3 pages!!

For the time being ive arranged to see my friend this weekend for a short term fix and i am going to contact the local riding club ( which is actually based closer to me than i thoight. The name is deceptive) to see if they need help with anything really.

Funnily enough a girl at work (the ones whose friend is looking to rehome the nice thoroughbred) has a friend with a 3 year old (girl) who has a pony and she works the days i don't. Shes going to see if she needs some help on the days she works ( my days off). That might work.
 
bikerchickone said:
Well I read all of it but I won't take your Malteseasers as I think you need them more than I do!

Try to think positive, little people aren't that little forever and you will eventually get to a point where you can either get childcare or take her with you places. In the meantime, what area are you in and have you tried seeing if anyone local would be willing to help by letting you go and play with their horses, even if it isn't riding? You might be surprised what you find. I've got an amazingly safe cob who I'd love to have hacked out for me once or twice every week purely because he needs so much regular road work I can't always fit it in. He'd be a perfect confidence giver, and I can't be the only person around with a horse like him. Try tack shops, facebook groups etc, you never know. :) x
Click to expand...
Where a outs in Kent as I'm in gravesend?
 
atlantis said:
Do riding clubs need helpers much? I presume they do and it'd be good contacts. What do you think. Give up the odd weekend day to steward or write at the dressage say?
Click to expand...

God yes! Any riding club would love help, and the more people get to see you helping at shows, the more likely they would help you find something to ride.
 
I remember when I was pregnant, and couldnt ride, my brother-in-law, at the time, was catching his horse in the mouth over and over and getting cross when the horse started stopping. I cried with frustration that I couldnt sit up and show him how to give with his hands. My MIL just gave me a hug and said, you wont be pregnant forever, though at the time, it felt like forever. When my children were small, i rode intermittintly, and now i have time, my confidence isnt great. I'm now the groom for my daughter, who just loves ponies, and jumping.
shaunaandjoeyfirstshow.jpg

It does get better, and you will get back to it, at some stage. I'm always broke, as a single mum, I do my best, and thanks to my family and my ex's family, shauna gets all her horsey presents for birthdays etc.. (she was 8 yesterday). My son, Patrick, only rides sometimes, so dont have to pull a pony round the country for him yet, but just stay positive, I was away from horses for 7 years, and if i can make a comeback, anyone can. chin up. xxx
 
I had to give up riding properly when I had kids too. I was out of the saddle for about 8 years in total, with only riding now and again at a riding school to get my fix. It does feel like forever at the time, but now my kids are older, they are both at school which means I am sharing a horse which I can ride during the week. It's great to be back with horses, but as I said, giving them up for a bit wasn't forever, and it was worth it to have kids.
 
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