I miss my boy

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flump

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3 years ago in may I had my horse of a lifetime put down. He had to be retired from work and he became so in happy. I tried everything. 24/7 turnout. No good. In at night. No good. In in the day. No good. Turnout with horses/ponies/individual no good. 24/7 stabling and he was ok but he couldn't do that and his arthritis got worse. I was gutted. I brought him to point 2 point when I was a silly 17 year old. I jumped him over a fence and swore I'd never do it again! He then became my riding horse but he was never really right.

I miss him so much and I wish I'd done more. I don't even know if I could of done but I'm racked with what ifs?

I'm sorry for rambling post just been really down recently about him.
 
I miss my boy too. I had him PTS 18 months ago. It's not raw anymore but I still quite often find myself blubbing at my desk at work (sometimes because I have read something sad on here that has made me think of him, but sometimes just from thinking about him). I don't think it will ever stop completely and I wouldn't want it to.

But it's not healthy for you to rack yourself with guilt about it. You made the decision that was right for him at the time out of love and that is the strongest and bravest and most correct thing you could have done.
 
I think guilt is part of grieving but I think you have to be firm and remind yourself that you did all that you could. I lost my mare over a year ago and still miss her dreadfully, I feel sad and rather angry that she didn't get to enjoy the long and happy life that we had planned for her.
 
Dont feel guilty, he had a lovely life and was loved by you.
What your feeling is natural, i lost my horse in september, very suddenly from colic. I wasnt expecting it at all, lost him within a few hours. I still think of him everyday but more often than not, i smile. We had a fantastic 8 years and i couldnt have asked for a better horse.
Hope things get better for you x
 
It's not unusual to feel this way so your not alone. All the 'what if's ' and 'did I make the right decisions' are such negative feelings but it's human nature to feel this way. Try and concentrate on what you DID do, how much you loved and cared for him and that by posting this proves that.
I lost my mare who I owned for 15 + years last April to colic and it's still very hard. I question my decisions at the time wondering if I should have given her longer or tried harder but the pain she was in was too much to bear. I know in my heart I did the right thing.
Then a couple of days ago I was giving my young boy a cuddle and called him Rocky. How stupid as Rocky was my childhood pony that I lost when I was 30, 14 yrs ago!
They remain with you even through the years so please only remember the good times. X
 
I had my boy pts 18 months ago and send most days wishing if only. He was only 7 and we couldn't cure his health issue despite spending thousands on vets fees.

Most days now I remember him with fond memories and love to see pictures of him, but some days I also wish we had been able to do more together and i cry for him. I think it's natural. No one will ever replace him in my affections, but you have to tell yourself you cared for him to the best of your ability whilst you were lucky enough to be together.
 
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