I miss my Henry

P

PennywithHenry

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A bit of a pointless post really, I just thought that it might help if I wrote it down...

I just miss him, really, really miss him, to the point of aching. Somedays I could just sob at the total unjust of everything, it really wasn't fair. He got away from that horrible place, had everything he wanted/needed and it just wasn't enough.

When I think of him all I seem to be able to picture is that morning, the blood, it was everywhere, and his face as he stumbled towards me. Then I think what if he would have survived to trip to the vet hospital? He'd be out there now. Was I too hasty in my decision? Was the sight of the blood clouding my judgement?

Then the 'what if I'd checked him a bit later/earlier?' 'what if I'd noticed something sooner?'

I would have done anything to save him, but he was so ill, it was such a shock after he was doing so well, and I just feel sick when I think of it.

I suppose I can 'what if' until the cows come home, but it won't bring Henry back.

Sorry, like I said, pointless post, I just felt writing it down might help me snap out of it.
 
Oh Penny if you were around the corner I would drag you round for a chat. There are no what ifs. What is, is.
You did your best and thats the most you could do.
And yes, you are right it does help to write it down.
 
Sending you loads of(((hugs))). I have been through the "what ifs" so many times when I have lost animals. I think it is a part of grieving. It honestly will get better, but it does take a long time.
 
I know how you feel. I lost Catembi to a very tricky illness. Just the other day, I was thinking 'if only' I'd tried a specialist vet at a different hospital that someone recommended.

Artyannie is right - you did the best you could. Sometimes the best we can do doesn't get us the result that we deserve, which is very hard indeed & doesn't seem fair.

Please, please don't blame yourself - just because things didn't have a happy ending, it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Sometimes horrible things happen to lovely people for no good reason.
 
The biggest what if in Henry's life was "What if Penny had walked away and not taken him to be looked after and loved by her" That would have been a tradgedy. You looked after him and gave him peace and a good end, no-one could have done more. I for one am glad that you didn't put him through treatment that could have been painful or stressful for him.
 
Sorry you're having a bad time. What you are feeling is a normal part of the grieving process and it's good that you are able to share your feelings on here.

I loved reading your posts about Henry, you showed him enormous love, care, and at the crucial time, respect.

Keep your chin up, it will get better.
 
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