I really don't deserve them

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tessybear

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So ashamed of myself right now :( Im stressed up to my eyeballs with this History exam i have tomorrow it's the subject im going to drop for yr 13 i hate it and im going to fail.

On top of that the horses were being idiots, Dolly nearly got me in the face with her hooves whilst i was picking out Tessy bears feet :( Just shocked me she was playing but that would have broke my nose. AND THEN she she stole a blue glove out of my pocket and nearly ate it ... i had to fish it out the back of her throat so i was panicking about that.


Put them both in and went to feed them Tess barged into me and snapped at her food bowl sending me and the food flying across the stable... so i smacked her on the neck and shouted at her before crying and throwing the plastic food bowl at her side. It was the look in Tessy bears eye that made me feel so horrible she looked scared of me, really scared. She came to us and was headshy i feel like any trust she had in me has gone.


What if i ruin dolly now ? I just feel like such a horrible cow.. just collapsed in the straw crying and Tess came over and put her head on my shoulder making me feel worse :(

stress levels through the roof
 
Did you see the thread a couple of days ago? cant remember the name of it now but i'll link it here for you - we've all done it! Don't stress and good luck with your exam tomorrow!

P.s. History.... bleughhhhh!!!! ;)
 
Take a deep breath, give Tessy & Dolly a big cuddle & lots of hay & water.

Go home & run yourself a deep, hot bath. Take a large mug of tea, lots of chocolate & a magazine upto bath, lock the door, get in & relax for an hour :-)

The girls (Tess & Dolly) will be fine. If horse's are usually well looked after the don't hold grudges & will forgive you.

You've got a lot on, be kind to yourself & make time to relax & switch off.

Everything will be fine, i promise :-)

Good luck x
 
Love said:
Did you see the thread a couple of days ago? cant remember the name of it now but i'll link it here for you - we've all done it! Don't stress and good luck with your exam tomorrow!

P.s. History.... bleughhhhh!!!! ;)
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Yes I did... still feel terrible though :o Thank you everything is coming thick and fast at the moment.

P.s I agree :mad:

HazyXmas said:
Take a deep breath, give Tessy & Dolly a big cuddle & lots of hay & water.

Go home & run yourself a deep, hot bath. Take a large mug of tea, lots of chocolate & a magazine upto bath, lock the door, get in & relax for an hour :-)

The girls (Tess & Dolly) will be fine. If horse's are usually well looked after the don't hold grudges & will forgive you.

You've got a lot on, be kind to yourself & make time to relax & switch off.

Everything will be fine, i promise :-)

Good luck x
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Im going to take you up on the bath idea. do my revision later im all achy and stressy.

I know it was just the look in her big kind eyes she would never hurt me and has protected me in the past i felt like i had let her down really ! x
 
Take a step back and breathe! You are quite understandably stressed with your exams.. and youve had more than your fair share of other things on your plate recently!
Im pretty sure that Tess doesnt hate you- you said she came and put her head on your shoulder- horses are amazing at knowing when your not feeling yourself.
Its not the end of the world hun is it? And in the grand scheme of things, there are horses out there that suffer far far worse at the hands of humans, than a smack on the neck! :)
Chin up, tomorrows another day!!
 
Ellemoo said:
Take a step back and breathe! You are quite understandably stressed with your exams.. and youve had more than your fair share of other things on your plate recently!
Im pretty sure that Tess doesnt hate you- you said she came and put her head on your shoulder- horses are amazing at knowing when your not feeling yourself.
Its not the end of the world hun is it? And in the grand scheme of things, there are horses out there that suffer far far worse at the hands of humans, than a smack on the neck! :)
Chin up, tomorrows another day!!
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I know she is just so kind it was unlike her and i flipped rather quickly :( Well she did have to suffer me rolling about crying and muttering things that didn't quite make any sense :o

Thank you lovely x
 
Hugs Hun xxxx we all give in to stress, its natural and that crying is your cortisol leaving your body! Agree about running yourself a bath, have a good cry (get rid of that cortisol) and you will feel a lot better.

Tessy loves you and she showed it. Only true friends would understand and she really did x
 
Doesn't sound like an unreasonable reaction to a big horsey snapping at you. Perhaps you taught dolly a valuable behavior lesson ; )

You've have a really hard few months and a lot of shocks! If you're anything like me, you'll be able to deal with the worst stuff but the little stuff gets to you. And now you're getting there its getting on top of you.

I think you can be forgiven! Youve done a fab job!

Now take some chocolate and a crap magazine into the bath and empty your head for a bit. You deserve a break xxx
 
Dont beat yourself up, many of us have lost it and taken some of it out on the horses, do read the thread though its quite interesting.
Dolly is just very inquisitive and when your stressed, the funny/tolerable side of it disappears.
Tessy obviously loves you, she showed that by coming up to you afterwards, ive learnt horses are very forgiving so she wont hold it against you.
Have a good cry, take a bath whatever works, do it and just relax, what will be, will be.
Im in the middle of my exams too so just take it easy and dont let it get on top of you and you'll do fine.
 
TB don't be too hard on yourself. As everyone says, we have all been there.

I consider myself a reasonable horsewoman. Yet my last foal whom I still have was a button pusher. When trying to teach her to lead,by cradling only, she stepped on the one foot that was taking a step. So down I went. Twice that happened. I went into the house and cried. I galloped Breeders Cup winners and many tough horses and this filly made me feel useless. Also my husband had gone to Saudi to work and I was dealing with 20 horses on my own. Not all mine! And planning a move. I was spent. Also the Cupcake had such a temper she refused to move when I put a headcollar on her. She is just her own little filly. She is 3 today and a diamond. My other now really solid mare I gave all the handling duties to my husband at about a month old. I was spoiling her too much. But she also taught me how NOT to handle foals. And don't get me started on the mares. Somedays they just had a knack for reading you. As in, oh you think you've had a bad day, try putting up with these babies. No sympathy! LOL.

Give yourself a break. You're doing a great job!

Terri
 
Ah hun. Bless you. ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))

After all that you have had going on, if this is all that has happened then really, all the good that you have done for Tess and Dolly, this is .00000000000000000000000000000000000001% (sorry didn't want to fill the screen with 0's but there needs to be more in front of that 1) to counter it the other way. But, when you are living it for that moment I know that it feels like the biggest thing in the world.

As others have said, consider it a way of Dolly getting to see that even for mama there are limits that can't be crossed.

I totally agree with the bath suggestions. I can sympathise with what you are feeling. I am on a 5 week stint of full time working, weekend lectures, weekly assigments and a dissertation proposal, and I have to admit that I have moments when the red mist comes down. Its only human, but its a release and helps us carry on to the next challenge, other wise we would explode.

You know its not the ideal behaviour, and thats what seperates you from being a horrible person. so please don't stress anymore. Chill as much as you can, and when you see Tessy and Dolly again, stand your ground, but know that they still love you as much as you still love them.
 
tessybear said:
What if i ruin dolly now ? I just feel like such a horrible cow.. just collapsed in the straw crying and Tess came over and put her head on my shoulder making me feel worse :(

stress levels through the roof
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This was Tess saying 'I'm sorry if I was rude and barged you - I'll forgive you if you forgive me? Can we put it behind us now and let's work together in bringing up Dolly?'

Give yourself a break. Exam time is stressful for anyone, let alone with all you've had gone on recently x
 
I did something similar on Saturday. Pony had escaped over night and got in the hay barn and opened numerous bales of hay. Eventually caught the git and he was so full of himself, spinning around and he knocked me flying and I lost my temper so I smacked him on the arse. It wouldn't have hurt him at all, but I felt bad afterwards so didn't ride as it would have ended in tears. Just chucked him out. Still not speaking to him though... :mad:
 
God, don't worry about it. The number of times I have probably lost it more than I should have with my horse when he's done similar i won't even tell you. He's a lovable swine I would say and, do you know, it still hasn't stopped him blooming trying it on so not only does he not hold a grudge, he seemingly doesn't even remember.

I know you must be stressed about your exams but do you know what (and I will probably get jumped onfor this!), exams are not the be all and end all. In 10 years time you will wonder why on earth you got stressed about exams. So what if you do fail, if you really want to you can retake. Honestly, there's more to life than exams. I know when you're at school that seems to be all it's about but there's many more important things!
 
Aww bless you, I don't think you need to worry too much about a smack, just because she is a mother now doesn't mean she can forget her manners!

Bath sounds like a good plan, good luck with the exam I'm sure you'll feel better when that's over, I know how you feel I have uni stress currently :-(
 
Just get this exam out of the way, it's worth it for the points you store and BREATHE!

I've smacked my boy for no good reason before and cried, sobbed on him. You need to remind Tessy of boundaries, you won't damage her or Dolly, try to relax and realise that stress is a nasty thing. These exams won't last forever. :)
 
<hug> I've just had to help my son offload because of his 'disaster' of a Maths exam today. Be kind to yourself. x
 
Tessybear, don't stress honey!! It can't be easy with the exams and the new arrival plus your mare too. Just pick yourself up and carry on, I know it's easy for me to say but just try to relax even if it is hard. :p
I really admire you for carrying all this on your shoulders, and think positive; Your exams will be over soon and you get all 'summer' to spend with your lovely babies!! :D
((hugs))
xx
 
Oh for heaven's sake - she was rude and she deserved it. These things happen, you haven't ruined her trust in you and it will all be gone from her mind by now. Don't beat yourself up. Chill - exams are stressful. Foals are stressful. Life is pretty stressful generally, so take a step back and take some time out to relax. Your exam will go better tomorrow if you're well rested and relaxed.

None of us deserve our horses, but we're lucky to have them - and they're lucky to have good homes where they're well treated (and taught manners!) and fed, watered, sheltered, exercised, etc.
 
Thanks everyone had a nice relaxing bath and eating my body weight in Ice cream whilst revising more chilled now !

Not normally this soppy i promise just broke down :o

Once my exams are out the way im sure i will be fine

x
 
Come on hun you have had a stressful time recently what with tess,family,driving test,exams so you have had alot to cope with and your pressure valve has gone. be kind to yourself aand draw a line under today. it happens to us all. so big smile in your face go and snuggle tess. you have coped with more than alot of people could. )))) big hug((((( ps remember theres alit of people on her to give you moral support x
 
tessybear said:
Thanks everyone had a nice relaxing bath and eating my body weight in Ice cream whilst revising more chilled now !

Not normally this soppy i promise just broke down :o

Once my exams are out the way im sure i will be fine

x
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Don't worry about it chuck, we're all here for you :)
x
 
Exams are horrible, got my Biology GCSE tomorrow and then 17 more until I can relax and have a nice horsey summer...I'm sure A Levels are even harder....good luck Abbie xx
 
ive got history tomorrow too! not doing luther and the german reformation are you????? i am REALLY wondering why i took this subject!!!! its awful and should be banned for the sanity of man kind

dont worry about T and D! they love you no matter what and will accept out bursts occassionally.... we all have them!!! i had an awful lungeing session with my mare tonite due to me being stressed for my exam tomorrow.... but she gave me a hug afterwards and i felt much better!

good lucky for tomorrow! youll be fine and remember that you can go home and hug your horses - nothing like a furry nose to make you feel better :D
 
Glad you're feeling better. Don't worry about it at all. She snapped at you and you did what something higher in the pecking order would have done - told her off... No big deal, nobody got hurt. You're tired from your studies, Tess is tired from having a confident little Dolly-madam to bring up, you both just had a tired and emotional moment!
 
Parachute said:
Don't worry about it chuck, we're all here for you :)
x
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Thank you lovely :) x
Billie1007 said:
I agree, you don't deserve them.










I'm on my way with a trailer and I am taking them..... Both :p
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After the glove incident today she literally galloped off eating a rubber glove :eek::rolleyes: your more than welcome to her i will gift wrap her :rolleyes:

FlaxenPony05 said:
Exams are horrible, got my Biology GCSE tomorrow and then 17 more until I can relax and have a nice horsey summer...I'm sure A Levels are even harder....good luck Abbie xx
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17 more !! Yikes goodluck with them lovely ! Its a big change from GCSE but exams generally are evil and should be avoided at all costs ;)
 
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