I really need your help *long.

M

Marble Arch

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I am having an absolute nightmare time at the moment with one thing and another. I am also expecting some really harsh comments to what I am just about to write but I am hoping that within those comments I can find someone who has been in the same situation and can tell me (I hope) that I am doing the right thing.

I am going to summarise this whole mess so you dont have to read for hours.

I loaned my current TB Mare for about a year before I bought her. She was fairly inexperienced/green but there were days when things worked well so I persevered. The owner said she had to sell her so I took the decison to have her with me as I knew she would be very well looked after. I have a few mates who are great riders and they all said she was a 'wild one'. She was 18 when I bought her, ex racer - never retrained. I had her on DIY for a year and rode her frequently and began to see improvement with her listening to me. Overall she still wouldn't trott without rushing off and freaking out in an open field. After a year my working hours increased so I had her on full livery. I kept ridng and trying to get her to work nicely but she was always a liability. I know she is old, I know she is an ex racer and I know I cant expect anything more from her but I love her and I was willing to put up with it.

She got worse and worse over the years in terms of her temperament and I became really frightened. I had lessons on her, other people rode her and nothing changed.

Just before last winter she got into a pattern of bolting off when we were hacking out, it was awful. She has never been able to maintain a trott so even going out for a slow ride was impossible. Most people at my yard said she was dangerous and no one wanted to ride out with me which could understand. I became a bit pushed out.

I had the vet out to do hormone checks and bloods - they just put it down to age and her breed. I had a massage session with her to see if there was anything I could do but nothing changed. I had her teeth checked - twice - but nothing wrong there.

I tried to sell her, first off early last year as a companion, then again 3 months later. I got some interest but most wanted to ride her with their 'daughters' which frightened me and I got the feeling that although some of them told me she would just be a companion, she would probably have got ridden and injured someone. She also gets a bit moody so nannying a foal wouldn't be an great option.

I rested her for the whole winter and rode her again last week. She was a nightmare. Bolting off round the sandschool, leaping about and just being extremely unpredicatable. I remember last Friday falling off her and shaking like a leaf in fear for several minutes after.

I have now made the decision to have her put down. I think I have done everything I can. She is 24 and I just feel there is nothing more I can do. The issue I have is that I love her with all my heart and soul. She looks so well and its so difficult to deal with this.

Am I doing the right thing?
 
If this is genuine then yes I do think you are doing the right thing , very much so.

I know it will be a emotional process but get yourself a nice safe ride afterwards and enjoy. Although every time we get on a horse we put our lives at risk there should be some element of feeling safe and happy not that you are going to be seriously injured.

Its quite sad - I wonder how she was treated in her previous life.
 
Unless you can afford to keep her in a safe and secure retirement I think you are doing the right thing.
This sounds soft, but bless you for caring enough to do right by her.
 
Tinypony said:
Unless you can afford to keep her in a safe and secure retirement I think you are doing the right thing.
This sounds soft, but bless you for caring enough to do right by her.
Click to expand...

This is totally genuine.

I have missed out on so many things havng my mare. She has a tendon injury (from years and years ago) which doesnt allow her to jump so i have never actually done anything like that. I cant bare finding another horse at the moment, I cant even face next week without feeling i am going to to lose the plot. I wish there was someone out there that could provide a safe retirement but I dont think i could ever rest knowing shes not with me but still somewhere.
 
You definitely aren't doing the wrong thing, which would be to pass her on at her age and with her issues. Its a very difficult decision to make, but we make it with the horse's best interests at heart. You could carry on with more vet tests, more training, more money spent on her, but looking at it in a detached unemotional way, at her age you aren't going to get back the money you could spend on her either in increasing her value or increasing your enjoyment of her while you have her. She could well be in pain from how she is behaving, she certainly doesn't sound happy while she is being ridden, so no, you aren't doing the wrong thing.
 
I think you are very brave to have come to this decision, well done you, I am sure it will be hard, but sounds 'right' for both of you. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
 
I hate to say it, but I think you probably are doing the right thing. It is definately the most responsible thing to do. If only more horse sellers would behave in this way the horsey world would be a safer place! Really, really sad thing to have to do but better than you being either put off riding forever or getting yourself badly hurt. I hope people don't give you a hard time on here for your decision. Good luck with everything.
 
unless you can afford to pay for her to be in retirement, then you are doing the only responsible thing.
 
Yes. I could go into the details explaining why, but you would already know them, so I am just going to validate you and say, yes, whole heartedly yes :)

As far as I am concerned it would be negligent of you to pass her on. We have one here that is only 14yrs old, shes unsound mentally and physically as well as being 17 hands and tricky to handle. Shes having the summer out on 13 acres with a couple of others, and then before the cold weather kicks in she'll be quietly PTS with her head in a bucket of food.

We will be utterly devastated :( I feel a bit sick just typing this, BUT I will NOT allow her to be passed around, or suffer another winter, she gets really stiff and uncomfortable living in, but isn't up to living out :(

She will know nothing! Horses live in the now, they have no concept of the future.

We are all obligated to do the very best we can by them, no matter how much it hurts us!
 
sounds like you have done everything you could possibly do for your mare and my heart felt sympathies to you for being so brave about this... not ever an easy decision to make, she is obviously not happy.

Big hugs and try to enjoy each other for the remaining days left....
 
You are doing the most responsible thing, yes. You shouldn't care what others think though as your opinion is the only one that matters. After all, if you kept her going it would be you dealing with her not us.

Totally understand your unease about selling - that's why Ive still got my gelding. He is so sensitive that I wouldn't trust many people riding him yet I have novices wanting him on loan as a happy hack. I think not!
 
I think you have done much, much more for your mare than many would have. She is a lucky girl to have had you as an owner, many would have passed her on, through a dealer, market,whatever. In my opinion putting her to sleep is the kindest, most responsible thing you could do even though I appreciate it will be a terribly hard decision. If she is PTS,you are safeguarding her 'future, she can never be pushed from pillar to post, ending up who knows where and injuring goodness knows who in the process. I wish you strength and courage in making the decision and I'm sure,if she could, she would thank you too.
 
Absolutely yes you are doing the right thing. If only more people were as responsible as you. You have given her far more chances than most and will end it with the biggest act of kindness. Have no fear and no regret.
 
Thoughts and hugs to you.
You are doing the utmost responsible thing by your girl, by caring for her until it became more impossible and then not allowing her to be passed around.
Enjoy each other and please find comfort in that you are doing the right thing.
K x
 
Yes yes and yes again. The most responsible and caring thing you can possibly do for your mare. Have no second thoughts, you are doing the right thing. Well done for having the guts to do it when many people would bottle it. Cry, recover, and buy yourself a horse who you can smile about instead of crying over.

Best wishes.
 
I can only echo what others have said. Yes, it's a kind and responsible act.

Hard for you, but not hard for your mare, who doesn't have to think about it.

x
 
100% yes. If you can't afford to retire her safely (safely both for her and for the people who will have to handle her) PTS is the only responsible thing to do. It won't be easy to do, but it is the right thing.

If it helps I had to make the same decision under very similar circumstances. Ex-racehorse mare, 12 when I bought her, spend 4.5 years trying everything with her including every vet (dentist, physio and saddler) exam available at the time, schooling livery with professional rider, behaviourists, etc. but she remained extremely unpredictable to both ride and handle. At the time I spoke with a woman at one of the racehorse rehab centres and she did confirm that once in a while they came across one that they simply could not retrain and that my mare seemed to have the same wild unpredictability as those horses - in her experience they were best PTS for everyone's safety. She was finally PTS which was not easy but I still think it was the right choice (retirement was not an option for her as she box walked, fence walked and was aggresive to catch and handle).
 
In a word, yes.

We have Little Lad. Mis-sold. Shouldn't have bought him. He's been retired over a year now. Still looks good for his age, which we think is 20-25, but laminitc and now has arthritis in his front legs. On Bute. I don't know yet if he will see next winter. He can be dangerous to ride, as in turns himself inside out, but he's a nice looking pony. If we sold him on.... He's 13hh... A child would get hurt. So, he's had a lovely time mooching about, being fed and groomed and cuddled every day. If I couldn't have afforded to keep him as a pet, he would have been put to sleep.
 
I think you are doing the right thing too. I can understand how upset you must be.

I was going to also suggest letting her have a lovely summer out and having her pts when the weather turns. Seeing her enjoy being out will give you some lovely memories without stressing about her ridden bevaviour. You'll have some time to come to terms with it and think about the next horse you're going to own and have a great partnership

X
 
I applaud your decision. I only hope should I ever find myself in a similar situation that I have the strength to see it through.
A couple of my friends have had their horses pts for similar reasons in the last year. Heartbreaking decision.
 
Prof John Webster (the guy who came up with the 5 freedoms the RSPCA use) tells his students that death is not a welfare issue - being able to be handled kindly without putting people or animals at risk is.

If you have her PTS you'll know that she was kindly handled right up to the moment she knew no more. That's nothing to feel guilty about!

Good luck with a horrid descision
 
Your doing the right thing, you have given her your best and have a responsible attitude in respect to not passing her on to someone who could get hurt or hurt her, good for you, a very hard situation and I feel for you, but I think it's the right way to go xxx
 
If you love the horse to bits and can afford to retire her, then don't PTS. However, she is obviously very unhappy being ridden for some reason that has never been discovered. It may well be something such as ulcers wich can cause the symptoms you describe. So, either you retire her, or you pay to get her thoroughly investigated (scoped for ulcers and scanned for ovary troubles), or you PTS. I would not think badly of you for taking any of these options. The worst thing you could do IMO is to keep on riding her. She is obviously in pain somewhere.
 
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