I seriously need some advice please, in a real pickle!

Doormouse

Doormouse

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Ok, this is a bit personal really but I could seriously do with some unbiased opinions which I'm not going to get from family or friends!

I have just found out that I'm pregnant, very early days yet and I've had problems before so I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.

I have just agreed (contract signed) to buy a horse, a french TB not long off the track. He is a very sweet boy and I'm not concerned about riding gently over the summer but I am worried about what I would do with him for the winter. I also own a 5 year old mare who has just had a foal and she will be due back in work in about October as well.

If all goes well with my pregnancy I could be looking at owning 2 horses that I can't ride for a few months and then will be trying to ride them and look after a small baby. Probably not really a sensible option I guess.

However, if things don't go well again for me I will have lost out on this horse who I love and I will horseless at a time when I am going to need them more than ever!

What is the sensible thing to do, please be brutal because I have a feeling I am being selfish and stupid here!
 
Blimey - what a dilemma for you!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, if it was me - I would concentrate on the baby, there are loads of good horses out there - but you will know what to do - good luck :)
 
The only issue here is financial as fair as I would be concerned. If you can afford a kid and 2 horses then go for it. Alot of women cope with horses and children and I'm pretty sure your horses won't have a problem with having time off for a while. Add up the cost and decide on a purely financial basis, that way head has priority over heart.
 
if you can afford it then go for it. I am a firm believer that in some instances life is too short and you shouldn't let a nice one pass you by if you can take it. You could find a sharer if you need to and at the end of the day once they are fed watered and cared for a horse doesn't give a fiddlers if it's being worked or chilling in the field for a while!!
 
You see I know that is so true, there are lots of good horses out there, I have just fallen for this one but in some ways I think it is just because I feel if I don't buy the horse it will mean that something will go wrong with the pregnancy. That sounds so silly doesn't it?
 
How would you keep the horses over the winter? If they can live out and be roughed off then it wouldn't do them any harm, and would make things much easier for you. Then you can reassess next summer, and either sell them, getting something easier for you to deal with on top of a family, or you decide that you can cope...

Hope the pregnancy works out...xx
 
Not silly at all hun, you feel the way you feel :) Big Congrats - hope all goes well xx
Like the others say - providing you are comfortable financially with 3 horses, you could get a sharer to help. The horses won't mind time off - if the winter's anything like the past 2, then you won't get much riding in anyway. :D
 
if you have the money do it! the ex racer will benefit from a long holiday anyways! the sharer is a good idea. best of luck with the pregnancy, things have a way of sorting themselves out, and the horses will still be there when you get time back to yourself.

i know what you mean about the crazy linking of stuff in your mind. i broke my arm and my mum got good results from her cancer scan, now i'm terrified she'l get sick again if my arm heals. mad!
 
Go for the horse; the one you want doesn't grow on trees and look for decent sharers over the winter months at the very least who can take some of the burden off from you. At that age all they do is eat, sleep and poop, it's a lot different once they're at the toddler stage, that's when your time's not your own. If you're going to breast feed puts you at their beck and call every minute but if you bottle, for the first nine months or so until they're in the toddler stage, you should be fine and able to do a bit with them. Work out what your priorities are and if like me, you decide to bottle feed, don't be made to feel bad about it; you need to do what's best for YOU, nobody else.
Congratulations anyway, hope it goes well for you and if not you have your new horse to pick up the pieces.
 
Honey08 said:
How would you keep the horses over the winter? If they can live out and be roughed off then it wouldn't do them any harm, and would make things much easier for you. Then you can reassess next summer, and either sell them, getting something easier for you to deal with on top of a family, or you decide that you can cope...

Hope the pregnancy works out...xx
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They can live out and it won't cost me anything on the grass keep just hay and hard food. I have rugs that will fit the new horse so no expense there and the mare will have just had her foal weaned so she won't be bothered about a few more months off. My OH could possibly ride the new horse anyway, he would be just about big enough, but that would depend if the OH was prepared to do him which is unlikely!
 
paddi22 said:
i know what you mean about the crazy linking of stuff in your mind. i broke my arm and my mum got good results from her cancer scan, now i'm terrified she'l get sick again if my arm heals. mad!
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I really hope your mum gets better, fingers crossed.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks like that!
 
It sounds like you want this new boy so if you can afford it, go for it. Go with the expectation that you will play with him this summer while you feel safe and comfortable and then rough him off for winter - whats the harm in that? won't hurt him and the break will probably be nice for him. Congratulations and I really hope all goes well for you and baby. I have a lot of friends who have faced similiar difficulties with their pregnancies so do sympathise. Look forwart to hearing about a happy 3 month scan!
 
Congratulations!

It is now the start of April. You say you're in the early stages, so let's say 8 weeks or so. Hopefully, if you get another 3 months down the road - all should be well with your pregnancy (and if you've had problems with late miscarriages, I apologise - talking generalities here).

Assuming all goes well, In 2 months it will be the beginning of June, and if you decide to continue with the purchase, then June/July is reasonable time to sell if you feel you need to. Buyers will be out there and still looking for horses as winter would still be a fair way off.

Or you may decide, having had more time to think through, that you can keep the horse and do as suggested above, rough off over winter and decide his future in the spring when you have the full impact of a new baby as well.

If you really like the horse, it would be a shame to pass it up. And, of course, the seller may well get difficult if you have made a contractual commitment to buy.
 
Congratulations on the pregnancy! I hope all goes well and smoothly with it 80)

If it was me, I'd be asking myself what I'd regret more: letting a horse you love go, or taking him and feeling 'bad' about going unridden for a while. As the horses could be turned away, you have a superstition about the horse and the baby, and the finances seem to be okay, I think even I know which one you'd think you'd regret more!

It's how I approach things often: if I don't get x (be it a horse, car, dress, whatever), how much time am I going to spend afterwards wishing I had? If I was likely to forget I was even thinking about it getting it, I'd leave it. If I knew I'd keep thinking back to it, then I go for it.

Best of luck with everything though, no matter what you choose to do 80)
 
Just found this post of mine and thought I would update the people who were so helpful and wished me luck with my pregnancy.

I am now the very proud mummy of a 6 month old baby girl called Tabitha who I clearly think is gorgeous!

I did buy the french horse and rode him until I was 7 months pregnant. He was a poppet and never gave me a moments worry bless him. He has been in the field since then and looks great, much more relaxed and round.

Bad news is I've just become a single mum so am now deciding which horse to sell as I cannot afford 3 sadly. However, all round I think I am very lucky to have my daughter and any horses at all so am not complaining!
 
My new boy came to me straight from trainer having last raced in feb. When we start our family I will continue to ride him for as long as the size my bump allows due to his honesty, he's sensible rather than quiet but my partner and I both trust him. I'd go with ur instinct.
 
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