I sold a horse and its going wrong, want to help but need advice pls?

R2R

R2R

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Ten months ago I sold a pony mare to a 17 year old girl. The mare was quirky - she was sensitive and would pull faces and look threatening etc, especially when I first got her, where the behaviour was very defensive, ears back tail swishing and hiding at the back of her stable, although she quickly came out of her shell. Simply, she was just a mare that wouldnt be fussed with, but was actually really loving etc if you didnt mess around with her too much. I sold her with a friend (pony came to my yard on full livery when friend was overstocked, never actually belonged to me) , who told me that the previous owner had some trouble with her hence the reason she was for sale now.

When I got the mare she was really poor and sorry for herself and left a blossoming shiny coated beast who would come to call in a field
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She was a very happy pony who was ridden by a 10 year old girl, and handled by one under supervision.

I told the girl everything I knew about the pony, that I had been told she could be threatening but had never done anything like bite or kick in the 6 months I had her - and also sold her at a reduced price to a good home, with strict instructions NOT to fuss with the mare and keep everything as I have told her, very simple, minimal fuss, lots of turn out and to keep her in work but not to go jumping and galloping about all the time etc. My theory in selling her to a 16/17 year old was that she would be a bit more sensible and listen etc. Everything has been fine for 10 months until this month, less a little blip after the summer holidays where the mare wanted to gallop about everywhere (wonder why!!!) The new owner tells me that recently the mare has had various problems etc, vet been out several tines for an attack of mild colic and complications. The girl emailed me yesterday saying that she cant get near the pony, the pony is lunging at her in the stable, cornering her to the point of being vicious etc and she is petrified.

What should I do? I really want to help as I really have a strong affection for the mare. I have no idea what to say or what to do though? Any ideas? Please help.
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Does she lives near you? Maybe you could go and spend a few hours up there to see how she is handling the mare and see if you can give her a few tips. Could the pony live out? I knew a pony that was like that in the stable but alot better when living out.
 
I appreciate that you may have some affection for the mare but your responsibility for her ended 10 months ago. If you go there & try & assist & they decide they want rid of her for whatever reason then they will pressure you to have her back. Then you will be stuck with a problem that they have made & of loaded back onto you. Walk away & let them sort it out themselves. There are people they can contact for assistance.........but that will cost them money.
 
i would try and nip down and see if you can do anything to help, maybe the 17 year old just needs a bit of support, I know this isn’t your job but it might stop the mare being passed on.
 
If I do go and help, will I make myself liable in any way? They are far, but have also asked if she can come to me for a month to see what I think.
 
I wouldn't get involved. They have had the pony longer than you had her and in 10 months they can do an awful lot of damage. I would advise them to contact a pofesional who can help on the ground with handling. I do know there are people who just do this (thinking of Lynn Henry if you have heard of her)

Once you start with this poor mare you will end up with her back with you more damaged than when you got her initially. I know its hard but you can't take responsibilty for someone elses problems.
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OK well maybe if they send her to you for re training then they would have to pay you which would be a better arrangement. Also you could then invited them down to work with her so you can see what they are doing wrong then maybe stop this from happening again.
 
It's a case of what type of person you are (not offending anyone) Are you practical or do you go by your heart!!

Me, I would go and see her or let her come to you etc and sort her out for the sake of the pony.... But as more practical people have said you don't gave the responsibility of her anymore as it's been ten months.
So it depends really on what you want to do.
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No, you will not be liable for anything if you go and visit the mare. In your position, I would pop down and see if you can help and give some advice.
 
i would go and see if you can help- it won't make you liable.

i did this with a 5yro i sold once- 6 months later it started bucking with the girl.
i went and rode it once and kicked it through its bucking and it has been great since.
the owners didn't blame me at all for the problem, they just wanted a hand sorting it out.
 
Sounds like it's gone too far. She needs to sell, it's too dangerous for her now and she's frightened. Would you buy thismare back at a reduced price?
Tbh, I wouldn't have sold a horse that couldn't be fussed and acted a bit threatening to a 17 year old, but what's done is done.
 
They are not blaming me, they genuinely want a hand.

I have told them that I will have the mare back for a month on full livery, and they want her to come. It is too far for me to go up there. I have been straight and told them that I cant work miricles, but, knowing the mare, she probably needs calm and consistent handling and a routine!

As for the person who said they wouldnt sell a horse that put its ears back to a 17 year old, why on earth not? The person who bought her was told everything, given advice etc. The mare can be fussed, she just cant be pulled about, hung off of, yanked etc, but grooming and handling is fine?
 
I would also get her thoroughly checked by the vet ,maybe when she starts to come into season she gets pain. I think it is great that you are willing to help them and hope it all works out
 
You said she "acted threatening and couldn't be fussed over", not that she only put her ears back.
If the former,a 17 year old is unlikely to follow your advice, as they will like fussing over their horse. If the mare can be fussed over,as you now claim, then, no problem.
Would you consider buying the mare back at a reduced price? I feel that by the sound of the situation it's probably now gone too far, as the horse is now "lunging at her, cornering her and is vicious" - so something has gone wrong with the 17y years olds ability to provide the management you advised.
 
[quote Would you considerbuying the mare back at a reduced price? I feel that by the sound of the situation it's probably now gone too far, as the horse is now "lunging at her, cornering her and is vicious" - so something has gone wrong with the 17y years olds ability to provide the management you advised.

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[quote Would you considerbuying the mare back at a reduced price? I feel that by the sound of the situation it's probably now gone too far, as the horse is now "lunging at her, cornering her and is vicious" - so something has gone wrong with the 17y years olds ability to provide the management you advised.

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OP says horse has had several bouts of colic, this won't have helped if the horse does not like being overly messed with and might well have tipped it over the edge!! Also the colic episodes and general demeanour of the mare could be a sign of something else going on - ulcers, hormonal, you name it, not just that the girl isn't coping.
 
It does sound as if there is more going on with this little mare than just a behaviour thing, ie the colic episodes. I would be more inclined to have a thorough vet check for ulcers etc before anything else. If she isnt the easiest to handle, could it be stress related colic, in turn causing bad behaviour. Just a thought!
As an aside, the lady I bought Che from has been out to see me several times when I have needed help, but she only lives 5 minutes away. She has given me several lessons on how to ride him better and come over to offer help and advice. I have always offered payment though (although sometimes she wont accept it cos she says she was passing anyway) and I certainly wouldn't expect her to give her time for nothing.
 
can i just say there is nothing wrong with selling a pony that puts its ears back to a 17 yr old i handled grumpy mares when i was 14. its just knowing how to handle them. if they are asking for help them i would help them, as long as you make it dead clear that you might not be able to do anything to change the mare and if not its there horse to make a decision with at the end.
 
I really would advise not to get involved. The new owner has had the horse for ten months, quite long enough to have learnt about her, and to have done something to make/allow the horse revert for some reason. I feel that if you go or get involved, you will be opening the door to being made to feel guilty enough to buy it back.
Honestyly, you have no obligation in any way.
 
If you do decide to have the horse back for a week or so then you must get everything in writing so they dont try to make you liable. Make sure both parties know you are only helping for a short period and they must have her back.
 
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