I think I may have caused neighbour issues

J

JLD

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Just bouncing this around to see if am over reacting. My neighbour has 2 shetlands that are backed and very safe but have no one to ride them. Since my little girl was born neighbour has seemed very keen for her to ride them when bigger - she knows I would get her own otherwise. has mentioned it frequently and recently said bring her up to say hello to them and get to know them - specifically saying 'even if i am not in just go in - they are quite safe to go in with they dont kick or bite' So one day last week I did. The next day the gate was padlocked ! I feel awful. I would never go into someones field uninvited and am not sure what to think. We dont see each other that often and are not really the popping round types so cant just mention it. Have I blown it ? and if so how ?? not sure what to do now. hate to have caused upset and conforntation even more !
 
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I would wonder if someone has told her that people were looking at her ponies and she didn't know it was u?

Its worth trying to catch her, not mentioning the padlock but that you went to see them

I'm sure it won't be personal!!!
 
I would approach the neighbour in a 'Sorry if I've offended you' kind of way and explain you didn't mean to cause any offense etc and take it from there. It is non confrontational and they will know you didn't mean to upset them. You never know it may just be enough to clear the air
 
Cadfael&Coffee said:
I would wonder if someone has told her that people were looking at her ponies and she didn't know it was u?

Its worth trying to catch her, not mentioning the padlock but that you went to see them

I'm sure it won't be personal!!!
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Ditto this ^^^^
 
Agree with C&C and BBH - someone could have told her they saw you in with the ponies (not knowing it was you obv.) and she has worried thinking of theft etc. I would just go round and say Sorry, didn't mean to offend, but took you up on your offer of going to see the ponies, hope you don't mind...
 
A toughie!

I have 2 shets that the local farmers wife occasionally borrows for her kids too ride, which is great for her kids and the shets too. However the other day she came onto the yard without asking me first and was letting the kids run round the shets field without my permission....

I felt quite p**sed off that she hadn't asked first as they are still my ponies at the end of the day, but later felt guilty for over reacting?! However I wouldn't have put a padlock on the gate......!
 
I wouldn't feel awful; she did give you an open invite.

Padlocks suggests crossed wires. Perhaps someone in the area saw you realised it wasn't the owner etc notified said owner and this is just a precaution??

I would get in touch with the owner, mentioned you dropped by to say hello etc and wondered if she would be around to supervise you and your little girl grooming/feed them??? If the answer is yes woohoo! If no, ask why, then hopefully you'll have an idea of where you stand!
 
I agree with all the above, but perhaps there was another reason, if u had not spoken to her lately perhaps one of the ponys had not been well and shouldnt have been ridden, i think a friendly chat is the best next step. most likely she was out n didnt know it was you who visited. dont fret all will be well im sure
 
Thank you all for the supportive replies ! I'm such a wuss with confrontation I had reached the 'I cant possibly mention it. I'll just pretend they are not there and get her her own in a year or so' stage. Just to mention we were not riding them - she is still too young ( 18 months ) she just went in to pat and say hello - maybe this looked worse to anyone that saw us ! I still feel sick thinking about it !
 
I'd just pop round with a bag of carrots and say "we took you up on your offer and came to fuss the ponies the other day, hope that was still ok and the carrots are a thank you for the ponies as my little one had a lovely time, is it ok to do it again some time"
 
Bet its just crossed wires, its best to have a word with your neighbour otherwise you'll feel awful. Did you feed the ponies anything ? Just wondering if someone said something and the owner is worried about lamminitis etc ? Maybe she feels like you and hates confrontation too ? She sounds nice, it'd be a pity for you both to avoid each other because of a misunderstanding -if it is anything to do with you. She might be worried about strangers hanging around etc.
 
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