I think it’s the end of the road!

[cblover]

I know the answer to my situation but need to write it down and ask for advice.

My lovely clydesdale has been ridden for the last few weeks by a freelance rider, twice a week. It was my turn today and I was looking forward to it.....but when I got on her I just didn’t feel safe. She’s big, young, can be anxious but also just wonderful! Turns out wonderful doesn’t keep you safe or make you feel any better. Lol

I’m too old I feel, too rusty, not brave enough....whatever you want to call it. It’s not her fault at all but after nursing her back to health and giving her the best start, I think I’ll be selling her.

Life is just too short to feel unsafe, too short to fight on battling her anxious moment and my nerves! I can’t trust my body physically to keep me safe and feel she needs a younger and braver rider.

Honest I feel sick but thinking of it with my brave pants on, I know it’s the best thing. I still have my 3 year old cob and we’ve always had a loving relationship. She’s so affectionate and just soaks up any attention. Completely different to my Clyde.

I’m more than happy to hear what you all think, I always appreciate it.

 

[Pedantic]

Have to do whats right for you and the horse.

 

[windand rain]

Horse won't care as long as her needs are met so it is what is best for you. Sounds selfish but she can be anything you need her to be or she can be what a new owner needs there is no such thing as a wasted horse as long as it is cared for and allowed to live like a horse

 

[splashgirl45]

if you dont feel safe riding her, and you dont want to keep her as a field ornament there is no harm in selling. maybe get the freelance person to do a bit more and get her more established before you advertise her or wait till next spring when she will have matured a bit more. you have done a great job with building her up and she now looks great but if she is not right for you she will be right for someone else. good luck

 

[J&S]

You are quite right to be thinking on these lines. A young horse needs a confident rider, you won't be doing her any favors if you are feeling rather "wobbly" on her. Hopefully you can keep going with the cob. All the best..

 

[JJS]

One thing it’s important to remember is that you don’t have to sell. If you want to have her as a big, pretty field ornament, it’s absolutely okay to do that. Equally, if you don’t want an oversized pet and are convinced you’ll never enjoy riding her, then it sounds like you’ve given her a really good start.

 

[claret09]

you need to do what you feel is right. i am sure what ever decision you make will be the right one for you.

 

[Goldenstar]

There is nothing worse than hurting yourself by falling from a horse that you knew did not suit you .
When you start out with a very young horse you don’t know what you will end up with .
Lovely horses find great new homes all the time .

 

[cblover]

You’ve all really helped settle my mind, thank you. I know it won’t be easy, in fact I’ll be heart broken but i know it’s something I need to do.

Next job will be to find a companion for my cob. No rush as yet though.

 

[IamMe]

Do Clydies make good driving horses? Could that be on option if you can't bring yourself to sell her?

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

I’m sorry you feel this way, but not having the confidence in your horse is awful. It’s meant to be a fun hobby, not a fear inducing activity. I think selling is the right thing to do.

 

[ycbm]

Three years ago I sold a paint horse who I just never felt relaxed on, and two years ago I sold a cob who I just knew I was going to break if I kept asking him to do things he wasn't built to do. Both horses new owners have sent me messages saying they are their horse of a lifetime. And I now have two horses that I am having a ball with.


SELL.

 

[Snow Falcon]

Years ago I lost my confidence on my horse. It was hard selling him but the best thing for both of us. Riding is supposed to be fun!

 

[cblover]

Thank you all for your kind words and understanding. I can’t quite bring myself to put her out there as potentially for sale but I will soon. I know she’ll sell but it’s who to that worries me. There are some lovely homes out there I know that, just hope I can find the right one for her.

 

[Trouper]

I don't know if you have thought of getting some help for yourself with the nerves/anxiety to see if you can get over this hurdle and keep her? However, if you really feel she is too much horse for you then you will not be doing yourself or the horse any favours by keeping her and you should absolutely not feel guilty about passing her on. If the parting is going to be too difficult you might consider a loan in the first instance to be sure that the new person is the right fit?
As for a companion - the charities have hordes of them waiting to find a good home!!! I hope you find the right solution soon.

 

[cblover]

Thanks Trouper, it definitely isn’t an easy decision for me. I do believe it’s her height and the fact she’s an anxious horse herself that leads to us not being a good match. My other horse, a lovely 3 year old cob is totally different and I feel totally safe with her. She’s 15hh and has a typical cob character. Soaks up attention and follows me everywhere.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Could you consider loaning her, so that you still have ultimate control over her fate but don't have to worry about her day-to-day aanxiety?

On that note, is the pro still the same one that panicked when you were riding together on the road? I wouldn't give up on the partnership without finding a different pro who can give you both confidence, tbh.

 

[cblover]

No the pro is definitely not the same as before. She’s a lovely, competent young lady who is doing great with her. I’ll have a think about loaning her, think it depends on what response I get to her advert...when I get to that bit. Lol

 

[cblover]

I think some of the problem is where my fields are..hacking on roads all the time. No one to hack with, but to be honest she comes away from her field companion no problem, not having a school to ride her in and no 4x4 yet to get her to one. All that said, I believe the problem is me and my lack of brave pants. Plus my body isn’t as flexible as it was and I have 5 auto immune conditions...under active thyroid, pernicious anaemia, mixed connective tissue disease, fibromyalgia and auto immune hepatitis (liver failure). I need to feel safe and have my horses fit into my life, not dominant it.

 

[Dexter]

Isnt there a poster on here who is horse shopping? She had a Clydesdale and he retired. She posted a couple of week ago. They might be a perfect match!

 

[southerncomfort]

This is something thats been on your mind for a while. You've clearly spent a long time thinking about this decision, and you've given the ridden partnership every opportunity to work.

As painful as it is I think your decision to find her a lovely new home for the next chapter in her life is the right one for you and her. Youve given her an amazing start to her life and you should feel really proud of the part you've played in her journey.

I've been where you are and it is really hard. In my case the pony in question now has a lovely young rider and they are having a fabulous time at PC. As much as I still miss him, it was 100% the right thing for him.

 

[ihatework]

I think you know rehoming her is right. This is brewing a while. Young anxious horses and nervous and physically limited owners rarely mix well.

What you have done however is taken her to this point and given her every chance to succeed in her next home, and for that you can be proud.

 

[chaps89]

Isnt there a poster on here who is horse shopping? She had a Clydesdale and he retired. She posted a couple of week ago. They might be a perfect match!

Good shout. Think it was @abbijay

OP, this isn't the first time you've posted saying you're unsure whether to keep or sell, I think given the doubt has been around for a while and is still there I would look to make a clean break now. You've given her a really good start which means she has a good chance of finding a good home, and although it will be difficult I reckon in a month or so's time you'll be giving a big sigh of relief and enjoying your cob

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Isnt there a poster on here who is horse shopping? She had a Clydesdale and he retired. She posted a couple of week ago. They might be a perfect match!

Was going to mention this I remember the thread too I hope she can be found fingers crossed

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Awww I'm kind of sad you've come to this decision but absolutely think it's the right thing for you to do. She's a big, young horse and as a fellow Fibromyalgia sufferer I can't imagine it's much fun trying to tackle something that size. I would almost kill for another Clydesdale BUT I have had to get a grip of my physical limitations so sadly will likely never have another.
Life is too short to be anxious and worried about riding. You've done a superb job with this girl, she's now set up for a wonderful life. You really should be delighted that she's now ready to make someone's dreams come true xxx

 

[1523679]

If you feel unsure about your options, perhaps let yourself gather a bit more information.

You might feel more confident about the rightness/wrongness of selling after you’ve drafted your advert. Or even after you’ve posted it, seen the responses you’ve got and thought, Nope, don’t want to sell to any of these folk. Or maybe you‘ll find the perfect person for her.

You might feel more confident about a decision to keep after you’ve asked some more questions: maybe of your pro, your instructor, yourself; and on here.

If something isn’t a cut and dried decision, give yourself the space to get more information and make it a little bit easier. It looks like finding her her next owner would be the right thing to do in the circs, but don’t dash into a decision if you’re not ready yet. Think about what you need to know to make the decision definitive and when you want to know it by.

Good luck - I do hope it turns out right, whatever you decide. Not everyone fits the same size of brave pants, and that’s just fine

 

[Scotsbadboy]

Good decision, you are doing the right thing. Onward and upward, 100% right decision

 

[rabatsa]

Someone out there will be looking for just such a horse and will love you for selling to them.

 

[Tarragon]

It seems as though you do know what to do. I am sure that not only will your lovely horse find the perfect home, but that once the decision has been made and the deed done, you will breathe a sigh of relief and relax into being the horse owner you want to be.

 

[deb_l222]

You’ve all really helped settle my mind, thank you. I know it won’t be easy, in fact I’ll be heart broken but i know it’s something I need to do.

Next job will be to find a companion for my cob. No rush as yet though.

Hmmm, I'm going to buck the trend here. If you're going to get another horse/pony once you've sold her, why don't you keep her as a companion for your cob?

No horse needs to be ridden to achieve its potential in life, if that's what is worrying you. She won't care if she's a field ornament for the rest of her days and, in the meantime, maybe look for a sharer if you're that keen to see her ridden?

I know everyone is different but if I'd been through what you have with this mare, there's no way on earth I would part with her and not be assured of her future. Saying that, I'm a 'til death do us part' type of owner so I'm probably not the best person to comment on selling horses.