I think it’s the end of the road!

[Winters100]

As someone who spent years trying to make it work with a horse who I loved, but who was never going to be right for me, you have my sympathy. It is a horrible position to be in, but I truly believe that horses are happiest with riders who are confident on them.
I lost my confidence when I broke my back, not a serious or life changing injury, but it was still many months before I could put my own socks on. After that I persevered, spent a fortune on having him in full time training and another small fortune in lessons. The problem was that I just never felt safe, and this transferred to the horse who behaved accordingly. After another injury, a concussion lasting more than 6 months, I finally made the decision to sell, and it was the best thing for both of us. I was fussy about who I would sell to, finally selling him for a lower price to someone who I knew would be a really good home, but it turned out perfect for him. I told them everything about the horse, good and bad, and when they called with an update a few months later they asked me why I had insisted that he was not a nice hack as he was so spooky. As a more skilled and confident rider the new owner said he was just not always the bravest, but nothing to write home about.
As the final icing on the cake when I mentioned to the buyer that I was thinking of maybe having another horse but was not sure he offered me to take one of his on trial. She is a schoolmistress with plenty of years ahead, but he did not want to keep her in high level competition. It was a match made in heaven and in almost 2 years I have not felt unsafe for a second.
I know it is hard, but actually in this case I think that doing what is best for you might well also turn out to be what is best for your lovely horse.

Good luck, and well done for recognising that there is a decision to be made,

 

[cblover]

It’s so hard, impossible it seems at times and I understand both sides of the coin. Reasons to keep her and reasons to sell, but actually letting go is going to kill me. I’m sure she won’t bother a jot but I will.

I’m in no rush, I’ll just see who comes along.

 

[indie1282]

Hmmm, I'm going to buck the trend here. If you're going to get another horse/pony once you've sold her, why don't you keep her as a companion for your cob?

No horse needs to be ridden to achieve its potential in life, if that's what is worrying you. She won't care if she's a field ornament for the rest of her days and, in the meantime, maybe look for a sharer if you're that keen to see her ridden?

I know everyone is different but if I'd been through what you have with this mare, there's no way on earth I would part with her and not be assured of her future. Saying that, I'm a 'til death do us part' type of owner so I'm probably not the best person to comment on selling horses.

This. If you love her and want to keep her then why not keep her as a companion?

 

[Winters100]

I’m in no rush, I’ll just see who comes along.

This is the right way. I always said with mie that I would sell only to the right home, and that if not he could be a pet. No pressure, just see what the options are and if a super new owner comes along you can be happy.

 

[JJS]

Hmmm, I'm going to buck the trend here. If you're going to get another horse/pony once you've sold her, why don't you keep her as a companion for your cob?

No horse needs to be ridden to achieve its potential in life, if that's what is worrying you. She won't care if she's a field ornament for the rest of her days and, in the meantime, maybe look for a sharer if you're that keen to see her ridden?

I know everyone is different but if I'd been through what you have with this mare, there's no way on earth I would part with her and not be assured of her future. Saying that, I'm a 'til death do us part' type of owner so I'm probably not the best person to comment on selling horses.

I’d also echo this. If you feel that torn up about letting her go, OP, it’s okay not to. They honestly don’t mind being out of work and absolutely cherished by their owners as pets. If Scrappy ends up only ever being a big, oversized companion to your cob, or enjoyed by a sharer while you have fun on her field mate, she’s not going to care one little bit. She’ll just be happy that she’s loved, looked after, and has a friend for company.

 

[cblover]

Honestly I think of every scenario and emotion hundreds of times a day. I can appreciate every one of your points of view. I’m working my way through 30+ messages as I put an advert out earlier today. I know not all will be appropriate but I like to respond, it’s only manners.

Time will tell I suppose.

 

[cblover]

And so it begins. I put an advert out yesterday (with my heart in my mouth) and I’ve literally been swamped with messages. A few from lovely, genuine people it seems but most from people wanting to know info that is already in the advert. Is it wrong to thing if they can’t read an advert, how are they going to look after a horse? I’m drained already.

 

[windand rain]

This is why I hate selling anything I find it beyond stressful and fully understand what you are feeling

 

[ihatework]

And so it begins. I put an advert out yesterday (with my heart in my mouth) and I’ve literally been swamped with messages. A few from lovely, genuine people it seems but most from people wanting to know info that is already in the advert. Is it wrong to thing if they can’t read an advert, how are they going to look after a horse? I’m drained already.

Any one that asks silly questions or those with answers obviously in the advert go to the bottom of the pile. Focus your efforts on those that sound genuine. Genuine people generally either write an email and ask relevant questions and tell you about themselves or will pick up the phone and call.

Don’t be put off by all the time wasting one liners. Just ignore them.

 

[cblover]

Yes I agree and I’m sorting through them! The mind boggles at times. Two lovely people who’ve enquired are at the other end of the country....well of course they would be just to make things more difficult! lol And some are asking about loaning.

 

[cauda equina]

I’d also echo this. If you feel that torn up about letting her go, OP, it’s okay not to. They honestly don’t mind being out of work and absolutely cherished by their owners as pets. If Scrappy ends up only ever being a big, oversized companion to your cob, or enjoyed by a sharer while you have fun on her field mate, she’s not going to care one little bit. She’ll just be happy that she’s loved, looked after, and has a friend for company.

And young green horses grow up (one hopes) to be mature sensible horses
She might not be the right horse for the OP now but with the right work might be fine in a couple of years

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Yes I agree and I’m sorting through them! The mind boggles at times. Two lovely people who’ve enquired are at the other end of the country....well of course they would be just to make things more difficult! lol And some are asking about loaning.

I presume that they where aware about the distance between you, and them when they contacted you, and is willing to travel the distance. Several threads on here have mentioned that suitable horses people are interested in is currently selling quite fast, so they might have accepted that they have to be prepared to go further away to find what they want.

 

[cblover]

CE- And this is exactly why I’m scared stiff to sell her and regret it for the rest of my life.

 

[cblover]

In the middle of all this I had to ring for an ambulance for myself this morning. I’d just parked the car at home and got a very sudden chest burning sensation, very intense with dizziness and blurred vision. Almost like something hot had burst in my chest. Scary stuff.

ECG all ok, as were all my other obs....so just went to my docs for bloods taken after the paramedics took advice from a doctor on the phone. I feel ok now, very tired but better.

Not sure if it was digestion related, stress, panic attack or what. Not what I expected today anyway. Maybe the blood results will help answer a few questions.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

CE- And this is exactly why I’m scared stiff to sell her and regret it for the rest of my life.

There is currently a thread about Caol Ila's 27 year old horse who finds her inner Spanish Riding School horse every time she sees a cow. They don't all grow out it, and become more sensible, sometimes they continue to be more or less the same. What will you do 5 or 10 years into the future with her, if she is the same as today?

https://forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/cows-wwyd.794321/#post-14389917

 

[FinnishLapphund]

In the middle of all this I had to ring for an ambulance for myself this morning. I’d just parked the car at home and got a very sudden chest burning sensation, very intense with dizziness and blurred vision. Almost like something hot had burst in my chest. Scary stuff.

ECG all ok, as were all my other obs....so just went to my docs for bloods taken after the paramedics took advice from a doctor on the phone. I feel ok now, very tired but better.

Not sure if it was digestion related, stress, panic attack or what. Not what I expected today anyway. Maybe the blood results will help answer a few questions.

{{{{{{Vibes}}}}}}, hope you're either okay, and it was just your body having a health hiccup, or that it is something easily fixed.

 

[Berpisc]

Hope you are ok, that is not a nice thing to experience.

 

[cblover]

It was really scary. If it’s got anything to do with selling my Clyde, looks like I’m destined to keep her ?

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

And young green horses grow up (one hopes) to be mature sensible horses
She might not be the right horse for the OP now but with the right work might be fine in a couple of years

This ^^^

How would you feel about keeping her and either continuing to have your pro ride her or finding a sharer who is confident on her, to accompany you when you are out and about on your cob? You might feel more confident on her when you have seen her grow up and take more things in her stride with a confident rider.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Eeeeek Cblover that sounds scary, really hope you are OK..!!!!
As for Scrappy..
Maybe some thoughts..

* Do you need to sell from a financial perspective or could you realistically keep her as a companion..??
* If its the latter, could you find someone to loan her from where she is kept if you wanted her ridden..??
* If you sell will you always regret it or can you make peace with that decision..???

 

[Trouper]

It sounds as if you are being pressured by yourself - and to some extent us as you asked for opinions(!) - into making an executive decision now. You've put the advert out there - just sit back and see what materialises. Sometimes it helps to just drop the paddles and see where the current takes you. Someone may be perfect - perhaps no-one will be but that is just the here and now and further down the line the situation may change again. Unless you are anxious about facing another winter, give yourself permission to take your time and know that, when you make a decision, it is the right decision for you that you will be happy about for always. I always say that I have to feel that the decision is "sitting comfortably round my shoulders" before I act.

 

[cblover]

I don’t need the money really although a little extra is always a good thing. I wouldn’t want to keep her long term as just a companion if she isn’t going to be my riding horse. We were looking for a 4x4 to tow her with, which is an added expense hubby and I could do without. Whereas having Sox on the go would mean I could keep the vehicle I have.

I could look for a sharer but would prefer to see her settled band well lived in a new home to be honest. I could live with that i think if the person understands her.

I’ve always tried to balance having horses and not having them drain our resources, making sure hubby and daughter have what they need, we have funds to do other things and that they fit in and not dominant our lives.

Scrappy dominants things I feel and I need someone there when I take her anywhere but Sox I’d happily put her in the trailer and go myself. In fact I am doing just that in a week or so to a ground work clinic. I’ve no problem at all with that.

Maybe it’s my age, physical limitations or just the desire to feel safe but still have a horse in my life. God alone knows! ? I just want it to be safe, fun and have a loving relationship with a horse I trust. Sox fits that bill in every way so far. I love her pony brain and cob mentality.

 

[splashgirl45]

you have answered yourself as you click with sox and not so much with scrappy. you have done a brilliant job with her and the right home will be out there. do you have a local riding club who would take an ad? or put an ad in the local feed merchants or tell your farrier you are thinking of selling and does he know of anyone looking for her type... you may find someone more local so you could check them out easier( ask around/look at the yard etc) which would put your mind at rest as it sounds like you are worried if she should go too far away...

 

[cblover]

This is what I’m talking about. Beautiful Sox and how loving she is.

 

[MyBoyChe]

Just one other thought re keeping her as a companion for Sox...do the two of them get on, can you leave Scrappy behind without issues? You might sell her, get another companion and that causes its own issues, If you are going to stay where you are ie not move to a yard with facilities and other horses so you need a companion, why sell Scrappy if she fulfills that role. As someone else said, she wont care what she does, she wont mind not working (in fact my highland says if there is a job going where you dont actually have to do anything except eat and look cute he wants it). Sure, shes a big horse to keep as a companion but if they are compatible and you can afford them both thats worth a lot, a little pony will need careful management and an oldie may come with its own health issues. As I see it, you have 2 young horses, 1 is going to make a fab riding horse, the other will keep it company, Im not familiar with the breed but I suspect being big heavy boned horses they wouldnt stand up to a massive amount of work for a long time, she could have a long and happy healthy life with you, just doing a different job from the one you imagined. Dont think about the "but she could be doing this" scenario, think about what you can still do for each other and Sox x

 

[cblover]

Thanks for that, much appreciated. I’ll just see how things pan out, maybe I’ll still have her this time next year. If she is sold, I’ll be as careful as I can when choosing a new home. She is big as a companion and ideally I’d like a smaller one but I can part them, which is a bonus.

 

[MyBoyChe]

It certainly is...a friend of mine ended up with 4 horses as she had to buy a companion for the companion. She had 2 in work and initially only 1 ever went anywhere, hacking, competing etc. When they started to take 2 out together the companion got upset so they had to get another as they had 3 horses, none of which could be left alone!!

 

[chaps89]

I think you've answered your own question with the posts above about Sox. You clearly adore her and feel safe with her and she fits well into the rest of your life. That's what horses are supposed to be about!
You have the luxury of it being a sellers market at the moment and seemingly no great rush/need to sell so should be more than able to take your time and find the perfect home for Scrappy

A Clydesdale is a big horse to run as a companion!
My mum has 2 currently from rspca, one has been with her nearly a year as companion to her (supposed) riding pony, he's been great, can be left on his own no problem, low maintenance and little.
Riding pony is currently at a rehab yard so she's borrowed another from rspca to keep the companion company- he'll go home when hers returns.
Both little-ish, easy to manage and happy to be kept on their own.
There's no shortage of companion horses, you just need to be careful when picking one out and let them get used to the other being taken away from the get go.

 

[cblover]

Just a little update.

Scrappy my beautiful clydesdale has gone to a lovely new home yesterday. It was gut wrenching and I cried so much but it was the right thing to do. Her new family are lovely and I’m sure she’ll have a bright future. Thanks to everyone for your words of support. Onward and upwards.

 

[stormox]

And so it begins. I put an advert out yesterday (with my heart in my mouth) and I’ve literally been swamped with messages. A few from lovely, genuine people it seems but most from people wanting to know info that is already in the advert. Is it wrong to thing if they can’t read an advert, how are they going to look after a horse? I’m drained already.

Sometimes it not what is said, its how its said. Even if something is written in an advert I would still ask the seller, so I could get a feel.....