If anyone finds my confidence, can they please return it asap?

[Casey76]

My lack of confidence is annoying me so much

To be fair, I have never been the most confident of riders, and thanks to an accident in the dim and distant past I have a lot of balance issues which really doesn't help.

however I had really enjoyed hacking my old horse out and about, always by myself, exploring the countryside etc. He wasn't the easiest of horses, but he could fling anything at me in trot and I could just laugh it off. However when I lost him last year, I also lost my confidence, big time

It doesn't help that on my first ride on my (new) mare she had a massive spook at some unseen sound and very nearly deposited me on the ground - this just compounded my loss of confidence.

I've had my new mare almost a year, and still haven't had a canter. I can't hack out by myself, and neither can I hack out in groups of more than three. our school has just been enlarged to 60x40, and I feel almost agoraphobic in it. I'm constantly on the alert for thing she could spook at, which puts her on high alert.

I have two trusted friends who also hack her for me, and they love riding her as she is up for anything, but obviously takes her confidence from her rider.

I dream of competing in dressage, but at the moment it is a struggle to ride a 20m circle in the school.

And it is sooooo frustrating because I've never been this bad. So, if anyone finds my confidence, I would really like it back, as I miss it!

thanks

 

[dianchi]

Do you have rider confidence courses over there? We have them here and I know people with the same story as you that have done them and would recommend in an instant!

 

[hezza1]

I could have written this op , i also lost my lovely big coloured horse last year. I went out and bought a very thin little ex-racehorse, i know now far to quickly anyway i am looking to re-home him as i have no confidence at all . I was never a nervous rider before and i have ridden all my life, i have not had an accident or anything its just gone ! i am even jittery handling him poor wee soul. I feel thoroughly fed up with myself.

 

[LessThanPerfect]

Hi Casey,
You are not alone in this, I returned to riding after a long break (about 9 years) during which no fewer than 4 family members were diagnosed with terminal cancer (both parents, an auntie and a cousin), I also have health and mobility problems myself which have worsened over the past year and now my father in law has a serious illness.
Like yourself, since returning to riding I have struggled with confidence issues but I have realized it isn't just riding, I even panic just at the thought of leaving the house, I am wondering if it isn't the riding/New horse that is the issue for you but more feelings of grief at losing your old friend and maybe feelings of guilt at having a new horse might be subconsciously feeling a bit like betraying your old horse?
Many people get a form of post traumatic stress disorder after the death of a close pet and I am wondering if there is some element of that in your situation?