If you had to produce a "numpties guide to horses..."?

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Peacelily

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If you were asked to produce a "numpties guide to horses",
what would be in it?
I have this for work to do and haven't yet got on the wavelength of what they might want, I just keep scratching my head going, "i dunno, it's a horse, has 4 legs.." as I kinda know stuff...!
it's aimed at people who are although very intelligent, they don't really know too much in general about the beasties...
I also need to aim it a bit more to training/exercise phys of race horses...

so far have headings such as
>horse types
>tack

all ideas welcomed!!!
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Horses have teeth and hooves. Remember this at all times should you wish to remain in one piece with no broken skin or bones. This is particually applicable around food.
 
They are supposed to be prey animals - try telling this to my mare!
or as someone famous once said 'dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle'.
 
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If you were asked to produce a "numpties guide to horses",
what would be in it?

[/ QUOTE ]

I would put in one sentence ..

Don't buy one.
 
When trying to catch a horse in the field DO NOT run up to it waving your arms around and shouting and then be surprised when it runs away!
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If your saddle is too narrow and pinching the withers, dont buy a sheepskin half pad that makes the damn thing narrower and the fit even worse...

Check tack, teeth, back before assuming your horse has behavior problems and selling it.

Dont over feed!!
 
Work out carefully how much it will cost you to keep it for a year and treble the figure you came up with!

Jane
 
I like the 'don't buy one' comment. Far too many people around here should have been told that.

OK, some suggestions for headings, in no particular order.

Background: Prey / herd animals programmed to forage etc.
Breeds: Highlighting differences, TB vs Arab vs Shire etc
Horses vs Ponys:
Needs: land, company, routine, daily exercise etc
Food: Different breeds and sizes require different feeds. Also summer / winter etc.
Heights: Suitability for different uses and sizes or rider
Tack:
Riding: Gates and styles (English, American, Spanish etc) Hacking, hunting, racing, polo, dressage etc
Illness and Injury: People need to understand that it does not always go well.
Stabling / Livery: What's good and what's not.
Partnership: A horse is a friend / partner, NOT a running jumping machine. (I know too many kids who think they are and too many parents who don't know any different!)

I could probably think of more...but it's early
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A chapter on how to move around horses i.e quietly and how to handle them would be really useful for numpties. An explanation of their basic nature is essential as the average person hasn't a clue. Also to explain how they mature and the definition of a "first" vs "second" pony would be handy for clueless parents. A neighbour of mine bought a 4yr old just broken pony for his 4 daughters, none of whom are able to trot. Need I say any more?
 
I'm with Ishy but would go further and say.

Draw your life savings out of the bank.
Set fire to it.
It's over quicker.
It's less painful in the long run.

plus...
Don't pat horses flat on the face.
Don't greet fellow horse people with tales of your one trek in the New Forest where *surprise* *surprise* the horse bolted with you
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, stopped to eat grass
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, bit the other one's bottom
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, trod on your foot .
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