If you have lost your horse...

[Queenbee]

I wanted to share this... my way of coping, may help others, it may not, but it may, so I will share...

For 11 far too short years, I owned (to my mind) the most exceptionally exquisite, talented and loving mare that ever existed. Many of you will know that last year I found myself utterly helpless, she started to lose condition rapidly, and the vets and I looked into every possible cause that was curable before accepting that it was time to say goodbye. Ive had some really bad times in the past, but I can honestly say, this was my most terrifying and painful ordeal.

Deep in my heart I actually knew, right from the start, that it was the beginning of the end, its strange how that happens. I had some weeks to come to terms with this end game before it happened, to plan and prepare myself, for some that is not possible. Still, I completely believed I would fall apart when the day came, I didn't, because my baby Ben was falling apart, and I had to make it ok for him. People kept saying to me, and I saw the same on other threads of loss, that it would be a very long time until I would be able to remember the good times, or indeed anything that was not associated with the painful loss. So I made a pact with myself, I chose a song that epitomised me and my girl, a song that I played and still play regularly in my car.

I wanted to share this with all those who are experiencing the after effects of loss, or for those who lose anyone the love in the future... I chose calvin Harris, 'Feel so close to you right now' and when that song comes on my cd player or my radio, Every time without fail, I reach into my memories, I remember the handbrake turn I did on the sj course so ebs didn't run for the exit, and the rear she did at the first jump on our second to last hunt because the horse in front of us stopped, or our first canter on the mine gallop, or her refusing to be caught, her dirty stops because my bottle was compromised, her leading another horse through a water jump when she hated water during her xc round, pairs with my mothers cob... the list is endless...


when that song comes on, I remember, only the good times, and I do feel close to my girl even though we said goodbye 7 months ago and my heart feels full, and I feel happy, I feel like I am there, living those moments again.

So when you hear this song... do the same for those you have lost, and you will feel close to them, and it will make you feel that little bit better. There are times when despite the happy memories, I cry, but I accept that those times that I cry are when I need to cry. Try it, or pick a song that epitomizes you and your beatiful horse that you have had to say goodbye too and fill your mind with the fantastic times.

I got in my car tonight and heard this song, I drove the long way home, just to listen to it all the way through and enjoy my memories, when I pulled up at home, I felt so happy and I just had to share.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXfeXq8Uuo8
xx

 

[[69117]]

Aw, what a lovely post.

I have the same thing, but a different song. Losing my lovely youngster was one of the biggest shocks I've ever had, but this song makes me think of the good times I had with him, and that he's up there thinking of me while I'm thinking of him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIgFSDByOyE

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Lovely post
As you Know I lost Diamond on 3rd December (6 weeks ago)

I think of her when Sade Smooth Operator comes on as she was named Diamond Light after it.

Tina turner Simply The Best is the one for my first mare and Toto Africa, as the words

• It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you
  [*]There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

mean a lot as YO told me she has been sold I had no idea. Then one day she said " I have good news" I though yeh right what news is good " Biscuits coming back, the children were fighting over her". That day Toto came on with those words, and I vowed then NOTHING would take her away again or me away from her except mother nature which she did when she got too ill.

 

[iCandy]

Thanks for this thread - glad to hear I'm not the only one who has done this Lost my first horse 7 months ago and I still well up when thinking about it. In fact the bridle, head collar and rug from what was one of the worst nights of my night is still in the boot of my car. I can't face dealing with it yet Remembering his huge personality and mischief makes me smile and remember that it was all worth it!

 

[YasandCrystal]

A lovely post. I lost my beloved mare in June last year. This song reminds me of her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3jk19xMXzk

 

[Queenbee]

Some really lovely songs there, and yes, nice to know Im not alone in doing what I do. I chose a really upbeat positive song, which really helps me to just fill my mind with the good memories, I find that every time I hear it I end up remembering some memory that I had forgotten. Her other song is more sad and gut wrenching, it is 'somewhere over the rainbow' the Israel Kamakawiwo'ole and it really does break my heart to hear that, but the calvin harris one, just lifts me up with the happy memories... Its been really useful, its given me a reason think of the good times and really enjoy the memories and not be saddened by them.

 

[Lolo]

My old boy, the song "Dedicated Follower of Fashion" always makes me laugh and think of him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t46vaqMkQLw

It's just 100% him, and makes me laugh and think of him strutting around like a stunned peacock. Maybe not the traditional soppy stuff, but it is him through and through.

 

[Avonbrook]

My first horse was 29 when I had to have him put down last October.

I've always loved the song "Forever Autumn" and the (then) newly released version was playing on the radio the next time I got in the car. I had to smile through the tears because Woody was always a complete prune when it came to fallen dead leaves rattling up the road towards him!