If you were a horse, how would you be described in a sales ad?

High maintaince palomino, 14.1hh, likes stable comforts, lacks confidence over jumps but would go far with right rider, preferable fit male rider in late 20's. Loves being groomed and pampered, prefers company in field and out hacking but needs a big bed in stable at night.
 
How about :
Chesnut mare, middleweight cob mare. Can be lazy, tends to stress at pretty much anything. Prefers to live out, good do-er. Hard to catch, likes routine. Worries in new situations. Doesn't jump, happy hacker (could go all day!). Headshakes in summer months.
 
I'd be:

16.2hh Standardbred mare, has raced but without success, retired sound. Good doer, has her quirks and can be hotheaded when not getting her own way but otherwise a gentle soul. Would make great hack or companion as not over-workish! Needs back checked regularly. FREE TO A GOOD HOME!

Other than the height I've pretty much described my Big Ears :o
 
Haha brilliant!

14.2hh chestnut arab x welsh mare. A real trier, loves to please but sometimes can be misunderstood so not a novice ride. Would make great endurance horse. Dressage isn't her first love, will XC all day long. Likes to learn but only has short attention span. Prefers to come in at night, good to do but doesn't like jack russels.
 
16'2 palomino mare, fun to be around. has time off recently and needs hard work to bring back to full fitness. sociable horse with quirky character, gets hot headed so experienced home only.
 
14.3hh Palomino welsh D, happy hacker who will try her hardest to please, bit ditsy and can trip over her own little hooves even on flat ground. good doer, likes her own space so not bothered about being in a herd. prefers to be out unless she's had a heavy night then like's stable comforts, which due to age could take a few days to recover. can have the occasional melt down depending on the time of season.
 
17hh, medium build ISH mare, 7 years old. Good-doer, bit prone to putting on weight when rested. Willing, clever & sensible on good days. Spaced-out, neurotic & emotional on bad days. Only bites/kicks when provoked. Will happily spend days socialising in the field & gets along well with vets/farriers/dentists, as long as they talk to her nicely.

:D ;)
 
15.2hh, palomino mare. Schooling well on the flat, lateral work established. Could go far in the right hands. A hard working, leg at each corner sort of mare, with plenty of bone who would be suited to a variety of disciplines but dislikes competing. Can be awkward, headstrong and opinionated while worked so needs strong, forward thinking handler. Easily placated with cigarettes, coffee or port. Gets on well with others but occasionally takes a distinct dislike to some, very good doer, good to clip, shoe, box etc. Hacks out alone or in company. Needs slowly bring back into full fitness work as currently in 'show condition', can show lame on off hind due to old injury. Blemished, POA
 
Aged ex police horse. Unflappable in difficult situations. Good doer. Likes to be brought in at night. Can turn a hand to most things but would prefer to be a happy hacker. Was bay but now more of a roan.
 
5yo 15.2hh (I'm actually 16.2hh but that was including my neck/head;)) cob mare. Chestnut with flaxen mane and tail. Lots of bone. Long, thick mane. Forward-going and tries her best with a motivating rider, but is extremely stubborn so needs tactical riding and handling. Needs a competent, confidant rider but also sympathetic as she will fight with a domineering character. Cheeky at times but never silly or strong and always safe. Pops a small course of jumps, but not very athletic. Enjoys hacking but may startle at traffic that comes too close and at buses/lorries. Bombproof with livestock. Very hardy, lives out all year with no rugs and natural shelter. Not at the top of the hierarchy but will hold her own in a group of dominant mares. Also lives with geldings but prefers a mixed herd. Would be great for fun rides and pony club. Looking for a home in the Scottish Highlands. £2500ono.
 
15.2 chestnut mare. Needs sensitive handling to bring out to full potential. Headstrong, opinionated and hormonal, but in the right hands will take the rider far. Only one vice, but hiding the corkscrew has proved effective.
 
15.2hh mare. Not sutiable for riding, can't be kept with other horses, free to good (any) home otherwise going to meat man this weekend.

Do you think some poor, misguided, clueless bunny hugger would take me in? :P
 
16'1 bay mare, with 4 very white socks. 1/4 Connemara 1/4 Highland pony and 1/2 TB, which gives her the height!

Well built, good doer, puts on weight looking at a blade of grass, but never suffered with lami, so will live out 24/7, however, she needs well rugging and she feels the cold. So would be best to come in during cold or wet nights!

Not overly sociable, so small herd best or turned out on her own with other horses close by!

Forward going to ride, loves going out and about, will jump, prefers x country.

Cheap and easy to keep!
 
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