Im at a lose end what should i do !!!

Daisy11

Daisy11

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i have a mare who is 8 and i had her for two years . i brought her unbacked( but has been rode in the past ) ,underweight and infoal can be tempermental and not knowing sweetitch .
when i first brought this horse it was on the tention ,i reback and reschool this horse for myself to ride .but in the 2 yr ive owned her its all been doom and gloom . i put weight on her which took hell of a long time
when i started working her she came down with sweetitch and without knowing it hit us hard .
so i couldnt do much more with her that year . throw winter ive wanted to back her but then my helper gets a new job so then im on my own . so again i cant back her .ive advertised for people to help some dont turn up some come and go within a couple of wks .

ive had an offer for her for £1100 and she has promise for her to go to a loving home with stables and will reback etc .
but then again i dont want to take the risk in her getting in the wrong hands , she can be tempermental at times and do think its the reason with her sweetitch why she has been sold 3 times since ive brought her .
i do want to sell and it may sound self fish of me and i probley am but i want to sell so i can buy something to ride , i hear of people going out for rides doing comps etc i just envy people
i fill selfish because i fill im letting her down .
but then again she will be going to be used and not sitting being a field ordiment ,
which im getting bored and losing intreast on
again it seems selffish of me !!!!

please fill free to give me a kick up the a*se ,if im being selffish
 
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Sounds like it might be the best thing for her but like you I would worry about her getting into the wrong hands, can you trust this person to be a dealer etc? If it was me I would preserve with her and get her going well, advertise every were for a helper if you need one for send her off to be backed but with you helping out too.
 
I do empathise with you.

I bought my mare as a semi wild, totally unhandled 9mnth old - she is now 10 and I don't think I've ridden her more than 2 dozen times.

No sweetitch or health problems - we've had the lot checked, back, tack, teeth etc.

Supposedly did all the right things with her and she was a push over to back - not fazed at all. Then things started to go wrong - going backwards, planting her feet, exploding for no apparent reason.

So despite expert help over a very long period I now have a large, cuddly lawn mower (total sweetheart to handle & loves a fuss). I would love to have something to ride but I know that if I sold her, some well meaning bod would go through the whole process I already have and quite probably get the same result. The mare would spend her life being sold and possibly end up at the knackers yard.

I am not willing to take that risk. I took her on and therefore it is my responsibilty to look after her. I will not pass a potential problem horse on.
 
i wanna do whats best by her too . aswell as me . and at the moment because its been so long im slowly losing intreast in her
 
Have you considered sending her to someone for some backing/schooling work?
If you could get startd with groundwork etc then I am sure it will cut down the time/costs involved?
 
Sorry once again I've got fat fingers syndrome lol

Sounds like it might be the best thing for her but like you I would worry about her getting into the wrong hands, can you trust this person not to be a dealer etc?

If it was me I would preserve with her, get her going well, advertise every where for a helper if you need one, or send her off to be backed but with you helping out too.
 
Its not selfish wanting something you can ride. Do you know this woman well? The last thing you want is for her to fall into the wrong hands.

Is paying a proffesional to ride her not an option? Just until she is at a more rideable stage for you or paying for someone to help you.

Am i right in saying your mare is a friesian?
 
see again ive made it very clear of her problems . to this woman and she is still set on having her and sorting it out with backing etc but im not so shore because again she may end up with the feeling i do .and sell her again and i can tdo it to my mare it not fare .its a hard one
 
again i could get someone to back and ride her paying . but im not so shore if they will take such a problem horse on with her temperment etc she has come hell of a long way tho since ive had her
 
The problem is that although you are selling this horse for a sensible price given her experience, it's also the kind of price that would tempt someone to buy her and sell her again very quickly for a profit.

How serious is this buyer? Has she been to see the mare, handled her, lunged her or tried to have a sit on her (if safe to do so)? Is she having her vetted? Could you visit her yard and check that she has adequate facilities? Can you ask around and figure out if she's a dealer? (maybe google her phone number)
 
ischa said:
again i could get someone to back and ride her paying . but im not so shore if they will take such a problem horse on with her temperment etc she has come hell of a long way tho since ive had her
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Sorry, just saw this response. If you think the mare is so difficult to deal with that a professional young horse producer would not take her on for money how will this buyer cope? Why is this buyer so keen on such a difficult horse?
 
ischa said:
see again ive made it very clear of her problems . to this woman and she is still set on having her and sorting it out with backing etc but im not so shore because again she may end up with the feeling i do .and sell her again and i can tdo it to my mare it not fare .its a hard one
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What about putting her on loan to this women, then you can monitor how well she copes with her.

How much of a problem horse is she?
 
i have said to her ,i will be vetting homes .and would keep in regualar contact . she is not having any vetting done she said she owns a 24 acre with8 indoor stables and a out door school she has three ponies and requares a horse either young or problem horse to back and bring on to use for a hacking horse only .
 
If you would like something to ride, but do not trust this particular buyer, consider
1) Sending her away to be professionally backed & on sales livery, if you can afford it.
2) Find a reputable dealer in your area who would part exchange her for another horse that you can ride (and who would probably sell her on for profit after having working with her). I guess you would need lots of references to make sure you felt comfortable with the dealer.
3) Send her away to be professionally backed and worked until you feel comfortable riding her yourself?
 
well just googled and nothing has come up part from a car for sale .
but even then i would be to sure to whether or not she will be sold on .
i think i will keep her and just hang on to see if any helpers come along really
 
Many Schooling liveries will take on problem horses, in fact they often step in becuase the horse isn't progressing with owner.

If you can't afford to send her away for schooling livery are there any good riding instructors in your area who could work with you both in the rebacking process? I know of a couple of people who have had great success this way, and you have the back up of a professional who you can pay by the hour, rather than a well meaning helper who has other commitments.

Is she the horse in your signature? She is lovely. I can see why you have worked so hard to keep her.

Good luck
 
Hey I'm not surpised that you are a bit down by the whole thing, there is nothing like a horse to give you highs and lows. I think you need more information before you make a decision. Some food for thought .......

Have a really good chat with the lady and express your fears. Ask her if this is a 'project horse' (which isn't a bad thing), ie one she would like to sell on at some point for a bit of profit ... this is no bad thing for the horse, but ask for a first refusal buyback if the horse doesn't come together ... you could always put a time option on it say 6 months. GET IT IN WRITING (ask on her for suggestion of form of words)

However, if she just loves this horse and plans to keep it forever, then why not say that she can have it on loan for say 3 months and if she is still convinced she would like her, then she can buy it. (Download loan agreement from BHS website)

Thirdly, I have a horse which came as a bit of a project (wasn't bought as one, but turned into one). I have kept the girl and have learnt so much from her - and met so many nice people on the journey (and some pretty unspeakable ones as well). If you go this route then the first thing to do is to get yourself absolutely to grips with groundwork - longreining, moving all her feet around, desensitising her to bikes, tractors, trampolines etc. Set yourself a target of doing an in-hand show by say the end of the Summer. If you decided to go this route I would happily donate a Michael Pearce book to the project to help you on your way - just PM me!!!

Good luck.
 
Gluttonforpunishment said:
The mare would spend her life being sold and possibly end up at the knackers yard.

I am not willing to take that risk. I took her on and therefore it is my responsibilty to look after her. I will not pass a potential problem horse on.
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That is my view exactly. My horse was bought with dressage and jumping in mind, as well as coloured showing.

I had waited until I was 27 for my own horse, having ridden since I was a small girl. I was so excited.

Soon after I bought him (he was only 5), he was diagnosed with a spavin.

I only work him lightly now and my initial plans have pretty much gone down the pan. I can do stuff with him, but not at the level I planned.

I love him to bits though. I strongly believe, that for me, I could never part with him. I took him on and he is my responsibility. It's a shame that I can't do all I wanted. No-one ever said that life would turnout good all the time. I get SO much from him though. I guess it is my emotional attachment and the huge bond which I have with him that influence my view.

Everyone is different though, and I quite understand your predicament. Do what you feel is right - for you and your horse. It does sound though that your mare would really benefit from not being passed around again. Maybe with a good re-think and plan you could get her backed this yr. Don't give up on her as a riding horse yet
 
canteron said:
but ask for a first refusal buyback if the horse doesn't come together ... you could always put a time option on it say 6 months. GET IT IN WRITING (ask on her for suggestion of form of words)
Good luck.
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id be very careful with first refusals, even if you do have them in writing, once youve sold the horse its very hard to enforce and if they do sell it on theres really not much you can do about it (unfortunately I know from experience).
 
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