I'm at my wit's end

Queenbee said:
I'll lend you for a little while my grandest foal, HE said.

for you to love while he's alive and mourn when he is dead.

It may be one or twenty years, or days or months, you see,

but will you, till I take him back, take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief,

you'll have treasured memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,

but there are lessons taught on earth I want this foal to learn.

I've looked the wide world over In my search for teachers true.

And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, with trust, I've chosen you.

Now will you give him total love? not think the labor vain,

nor hate me when I come here to take him back again?

I know you'll give him tenderness and love will bloom each day,

and for the happiness you've known, forever grateful stay

But should I come and call for him much sooner than you'd planned,

you'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and someday, understand,
Click to expand...

what a lovely poem.
 
Oh I'm so sorry to only catch up with the news now :( Im heart broken for you. :(
U know you did all you could :(
Thoughts are with you all, sending lots of hugs xxxxx
 
Thank you. I am very very slowly coming to terms with the fact I will never see her again, let alone touch her, hear her or smell her. Though, every now and again I breakdown and sob my heart out.
We went to pick her ashes up from the crematorium yesterday. To be honest I'd never given any thought how much there would be. They had her ashes ready for us and she was waiting in a special room surrounded by flowers and candles which was lovely but I was a little shocked when I walked in and saw how much there was. We were asked if we wanted to take all of it or just a little bit. Apparently not every one wants ALL the ashes. I do! I want every last little bit of her home. Wouldn't care if I had to hire a tractor to carry them.
Collecting her ashes brought back the fact how final this was but I will do this again in the future with my others.
We picked out a beautiful crystal urn with a small urn in the middle and they will put some of Ruby in there for us. I like to think that the ash they will put in is from her heart. We are also having a picture on Ruby engraved on the crystal with some nice text. We got my daughter a silver necklace with a special horseshoe which can hold some of the ash. It's really nice and I would have loved one but I am allergic to metal including silver. The gold one was far too expensive - over €600! I will make do with her tail hair being made into jewellery. So, Ruby is still not home. She will come home when the urn is ready. Not the way I wanted er to come home but at least she IS home. I am not yet ready to spread her ashes so she'll be in the living room somewhere for a while.
I'll post some pictures of the urn and necklace when everything is complete.
 
Micramadam, so sorry for your loss. So sad to catch up these last few pages and learn that she has gone back to be with the angels. I also looked at her photos again.. Such a beautiful girl. Xxx
 
I am so very sorry for your loss, I spent many a night shift reading your updates and willing her to get better. At least you can gain some comfort in the knowledge that she is no longer in pain or ill. I really do feel for you :( xxx
 
micramadam said:
Thank you. I am very very slowly coming to terms with the fact I will never see her again, let alone touch her, hear her or smell her. Though, every now and again I breakdown and sob my heart out.
We went to pick her ashes up from the crematorium yesterday. To be honest I'd never given any thought how much there would be. They had her ashes ready for us and she was waiting in a special room surrounded by flowers and candles which was lovely but I was a little shocked when I walked in and saw how much there was. We were asked if we wanted to take all of it or just a little bit. Apparently not every one wants ALL the ashes. I do! I want every last little bit of her home. Wouldn't care if I had to hire a tractor to carry them.
Collecting her ashes brought back the fact how final this was but I will do this again in the future with my others.
We picked out a beautiful crystal urn with a small urn in the middle and they will put some of Ruby in there for us. I like to think that the ash they will put in is from her heart. We are also having a picture on Ruby engraved on the crystal with some nice text. We got my daughter a silver necklace with a special horseshoe which can hold some of the ash. It's really nice and I would have loved one but I am allergic to metal including silver. The gold one was far too expensive - over €600! I will make do with her tail hair being made into jewellery. So, Ruby is still not home. She will come home when the urn is ready. Not the way I wanted er to come home but at least she IS home. I am not yet ready to spread her ashes so she'll be in the living room somewhere for a while.
I'll post some pictures of the urn and necklace when everything is complete.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry to hear about Ruby , I too spent many nightshifts reading your updates and willing her to pull through. The urn and the jewellery sound like beautiful tributes to your girl. You did everything that you possibly could to save her. Your love for her was so evident from your posts and I cant even imagine what your going through right now. xxx
 
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