I'm pregnant and need horse advice pretty please! (Sorry long)

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lauzbeefy

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I have just found out I am 8 weeks pregnant and am worrying about what to do with the horse.

She is a 16.2 Thoroughbred but she is 16 years old. My OH won't let me ride her now that I am pregnant and said he would do it. The horse has now stood in the field for 2 weeks not ridden.

We have recently moved her to a new yard and she has been a bit 'crazy' to say the least, I think she is perferctly manageable, some say she's nuts. She just jogs and bounces and maybe the occasional rear when being ridden past other horse's fields. Other times she is a laid back mare, she tries hard, loves jumping and her dressgae is getting there....

So anyway... I have been thinking about getting a sharer for her but are there people out there who are prepared to share or loan this kind of mare?

I have been offered a field at my sister's house whilst I am pregnant but she would be all on her own and I cannot exercise her. She is the grumpiest mare in the world when she is not in work.

So do I put her up for share/loan or do I stick her in a field and give her the time off. I am worrying that she will get old all of a sudden if she is left...

Also I could really do with hearing some sucess stories of people who have a horse and a baby as have been told it is impossible or I would be neglecting my child by keeping a horse etc!

Sorry it is so long and garbled, I have not quite woken up yet!!!
 
OK, first congratulations!

Second, my baby is now 3 months old and I have ridden 3 times since Xmas, all in the last 2 weeks. It is possible to have the horse and the baby, but from my experience its not possible to ride until the baby has a settled sleep in the afternoon and you can park them in the pram next to the arena (or in my case leave them in the cot while you take the baby monitor down the yard). For me this has only just started happening in the last week, and from what others have told me my baby is paticularly easy. Of course if you have family near by who will babysit while you ride it will be easier.

During the pregnancy you have several options. Unless you ave complications you should be OK doing stable chores until 7-8 months, and it will be summer by then so you can turn out 24/7 as I did for a few months. It will be difficult to get to the stables at fixed times for the forst 3 months or longer after you have the baby, so you need to take that into account unless you have them in your back garden and can pop in and out to them when you have a moment (and you won't have many at first!).

If you want the horse ridden you will need a sharer, or put if on full/working livery somewhere. I think you can find a sharer for almost anything really, is there a university near you, there might be a horse sick student who fancies the idea for the rest of the academic year. Otherwise try the local pony club, they often have people who want horses on loan/want to share especially if you are happy to let the sharer compete.

You might find the horse settles after a few weeks and turns out quite happily for 9/10 months, mine has certainly enjoyed his holiday, and was most put out with having his shoes put back on!
 
Hey, certainly don't fret as having babies and horses is perfectly normal and does work. I now have two little boys under 4 and was fortunate to manage the horse all throughout pregnancies and after babies were born. I was determinded to and it worked for me. Only shortly after they were both born I took them up to the yard each day often twice daily to do my horse as normal and get back into riding in the arena with baby and child placed outside the arena or in the car.

Incidentally I also have a TB mare who can be bouncy at times but she was good as gold in the time I was pregnant and I rode her until nearly giving birth, the last few weeks only in the school and I also did a lot of lungeing as I wasn't feeling fit enough to ride every day but that way she was nicely ticking over. If you don't want to ride during pregnancy I think a sharer would be a good option and I am sure there are people out there who cannot have their own horse but would love one like yours, she sounds similar to mine :)

And you could do some groundwork with her on the other days so you both don't lose contact to one another and getting back on after the baby is born won't be so hard. Also, keeping the horse duties up during pregnancies and after baby is new means that you don't fall into the trap of finding it all easier without the horse and it will be easier to keep it all going. I had no problem taking the baby and running up the yard when I wanted not just when I thought baby was ready so I just got on with it and they seemed to be fine with it.

Having the horse through the time of having babies was important to me and kept me physically fit and mentally sane - still does :)

There are many ways of how to do it but the bottom line is you dont have to give it all up if you are not prepared to.

Good luck with it all and I wish you a good pregnancy and birth x
 
I feel your anguish! I am now 33 weeks and stopped riding at about 3 months as I just didn't feel confident and you know that's the time your beloved beasty will take advantage!

I am however very lucky as my sister rides my gelding at weekends for me and i'm still able to lunge and muck out etc.... Although it does now take me twice as long to do anything and obviously I am being very careful about lifting things. my OH also has concerns but I feel it's better that I am still moving about and doing some exercise. I can't comment on the times after the birth but I would imagine having a sharer would be beneficial but not always easy to find. I'm very lucky to have a little sister to help out.
 
Thanks for the replies, I am pretty sure I will be fine to keep her and will work things out. There has only been a nine month period in my life where I didnt have a horse and I suffered terrible depression. I am unsure that the two are completely related but I need my girl to keep me sane like you said.

People are just getting me down saying that it is impossible!!!
 
Congratulations!
Why not get a sharer for her, there are many experienced, competent sharers out there.

I have four children and 4 horses (one is a baby, one retired) all are on DIY, I work one 6 days a week and I work the other about 5 times a week. It is all down to time management, you'll find a way to fit things in.
 
Thanks everyone!

Indiapony if you still lived in Lincs I would be more than happy for you to have her!!!

I would love her to carry on competing as it really seems to brighten her up! I refused to take a pregnancy test until after I competed the other week as I know the Oh wouldn't let me ride when we knew!

I think I will advertise for a sharer, meanwhile I think I will have her shoes taken off, my farrier swears by giving her feet a break so maybe now is the time!
 
Congratulations!!

I have a 9yo TB and a 10 month old baby - and whilst challenging it is do-able. :-)

I rode until 5 months (just flatwork, steady hacks etc) but completely understand your choice not to. My friend rode Baz for me and competed about once a month until I was about 8 months pregnant. I continued to look after him completely during that time as he was on a DIY yard. In my ninth month I took the decision to turn him away for 3 months and then contemplated the practicalities of juggling baby and horse! He actually seemed to enjoy the time chilling out and came out of winter very furry and very fat!

The solution I have found for coping with a full time job, baby and horse (who I also compete a couple of times a month too!) was to move my horse to a friend's field about 200m from my mum's house so she can spend time with my son and I can spend some me time with my horse. I try to balance my time with my son and time with my horse but feel that its really important to keep something for myself so wouldn't ever want to consider being horseless! As winter and dark nights approach again I have begun the search for a sharer who will exercise him and look after him a couple of days in the week and, fingers crossed, think I've found one which will be a massive help.

In my experience there are people out there who would love to share your mare and it may be worth putting an ad on one of the websites or in local tack/feed stores.

Good luck!!
 
Firstly, big congrats :0)

I am nearly 28 weeks pregnant and have only just stopped riding!
I stopped riding my loopy one as soon as I found out I was preggers but kept riding and competing my mare SJ untill about a week ago although I still ride only in walk.

I know exactly how you feel, coz as soon as I found out I was SO worried about what Id do with the horses!
In the end, its all going really well :0)
Yes my loopy gelding is having a long holiday, which isnt ideal, but I cant really risk anyone else to get on him and he can become abit of a handful when not in work, but Im trying to keep him ticking over with lunging and long reining and I have a wonderful sharer for my mare who is just keeping her ticking over for me.
I did try really hard to find a field to put hem both in for the winter, but had no joy what so ever.
I think its definatly worth putting up adverts for a sharer/help, there is bound to be someone out there.
Good luck.
 
I had a baby in January and I rode until my 20 week scan but only flatwork. I mucked out etc until the day I had her and just lunged my mare 3x a week. We had all the snow etc so everywhere was frozen for the last couple of months so she was out of work until baby was abt 6weeks old and I felt ok to ride again.

My daughter got into the routine of getting wrapped up and coming outside and sleeping in the pram whilst i got horses done from when she was a few days old. It really helped because even now I can muck out and ride in the morning whilst she has a sleep. You have to be super organised though!!

Its def do able though and I find it a rly good way to keep her entertained for a bit in the morning and especially after tea at bringing in time when she starts to get grouchy. Plus if you've got an understanding and helpful other half it's lovely to spend time doing the horse and get a break from baby.

Good luck with it all.
 
Thanks everyone, this is just what I needed to hear! With the crazy hormones and the smallest thing making me cry its nice to hear that what I was hoping could happen would!!!

Just have to convince OH to let me ride now!

Saf is kept reasonable close to my Mum and OH's mum so hopefully will be able to drop him/her off for an hour every now and then and my OH comes down to the yard with me quite a lot so hopefully between the two of us we can work something.

Will get some adverts up for a sharer this week!

Thanks again!
 
My son is 6 months old and since he was born I have gone from 0 horses to 3! I sold my horse when I was 8 months pregnant and rode until I was 6 months. After that he went on training livery to keep him fit. I then decided to sell him, but no one seemed to want him! Ended up selling him eventually and then he came back to me a couple of months ago! Long story, but so glad he did as very much regretted selling him. He had never been out 24/7 and was a poor doer and everyone convinced me he wouldn't cope (even though it was February so the worst of the weather was over). Sold him as thought turning him away wasn't an option. Now he is back and living out 24/7 at my Grandads house. Gone from being a very needy and slightly neurotic horse, to a very chilled and happy one and is coping well (hoping that'll continue through winter!) Seems living out has done him the world of good! Before he came back I put a deposit on a foal (arriving in 10 days!) and was given a rescue pony as a companion for foal. So now have 3!

It is good they are at my grandads house as there is always an eye on them and he does their water every morning and goes to save them when they do something stupid (Horse managed to somehow get rug off his body and stuck around his neck - how he got the leg straps and surcingles undone I'll never know, but obviously couldn't manage buckles at front! Luckily grandad saved him!) Would also give them hay/food if I couldn't get over there for any reason.

It is bloomin hard work - my son is the biggest attention seeker in the world and getting anything done when he's around is almost impossible - just about manage to feed and rug with him about! Luckily my mum has him a lot so I can ride. My OH works til 7 so I don't get to leave the baby with him to go and do the horses until the weekend.

I also have a sharer for the horse and she is brilliant - does my poo picking and helps with anything else. Couldn't cope without her! She rides a couple of times a week which keeps the horse fit enough for when I want to ride. If I manage to lunge once and she rides twice, it keeps him sane and anything else I manage to squeeze in is a bonus. Living out 24/7 has certainly taken the edge off him though - he is much more chilled now.

One thing I must say - my little boy is amazed by lunging. I put him the his buggy in the centre of the circle and he finds it highly amusing that the horse keeps going in and out of sight as he goes round and round. Like horsey peekaboo for him! So can manage to lunge Zoon if I can't get anyone to look after the baby. I don't have a school so have to hack when fields are wet, if I had a school I could probably pop baby in buggy in middle and have a short ride while he watched or played with his toys. Only hacking means I have to have a babysitter.
 
I'm in Lincs!! I already have a share horse back in Manc or I'd have been happy to :)

My point is of course, people will be interested. I started sharing because I wasn't progressing any at my RS but I was at a decent level of riding when I left. Don't worry, advertise her and ask around and don't take on anyone you don't feel comfortable with :)
congrats and good luck!
K x
 
Izzy Taylor won an Int. at Wilton horse trials only 3 weeks after giving birth (she was back in the saddle only a week after having the baby)..

My friend was still work-riding for a local racehorse trainer, riding up the gallops and schooling over hurdles 7 months gone..

Both extreem cases i know.. but just proving to you that horses and babies are possible!!!

Do whatever you feel upto and happy with.. and trying not to dole out relationship advice.. but i'd say stop riding if its what you want, not because your husband has told you to!!
 
Hi,

My bubba is now 10months old & I just wanted to let you know that having both types of babies (4 legged and 2 legged) is perfectly managable, its exhausting at first but once you get into a routine you'll be fine!.... do not listen to what the cynics tell you!!! I used to get so upset when people (mainly my non horsey mum & sister) went on and on about how i would never cope and how i didnt understand how demanding babies are, and the more i argued the more they'd mutter to each other "she'll learn" and rubbish like that... so just ignore them all and dont enter into discussions about it! I find that having an understanding partner helps.... my Davey helps me by getting the horses in some nights, he mucks out, poo picks the paddock at the weekend ect... and also he looks after the little one at the weekends without complaining so i can spend time with my big baby! While I was pregnant I even bought a section A for the baby, everyone said I was crazy.... lumbering myself with yet more work and expense but its great.... hes the cutest pony in the world, the perfect field companion for my boy and is amazing with kids.... lots of my friends/families children come to ride him and my little boy first sat on him when he was 6months! If im honest I think i got him partly to prove to people that i could cope! So I know have 2 to look after but i have a set routine during the week whereby i go to the yard during the babies morning nap, he sleeps in the car while i turn the boys out and get there stables ready for the evening. Sometimes Aaron wakes up midway through so he sits in the pushchair and laughs while i muck out and ill let him sit on one of them and play with their mane for a bit... and he loves watching me lunge, he wets himself every time bobby goes past!!! Then if i do want to spend any decent time with the boys i'll go up again once aarons in bed.... but now the nights are dark its more difficult... or i'll wait for the weekend! but it works quite well and ive never thought for one second that its all to much!

One word of warning would be to defo slow down with the stable duties so maybe your sisters field might be a good idea in the later stages of your pregnancy. My baby arrived 3 weeks early and was tiny, a lot of people (including the midwives) had told me to slow down and stop acting as if i wasnt pregnant but me being me ignored them.... I had a great pregnancy so i felt great, i rode till i was 26weeks and i did all my own mucking out ect the whole time.... id always said id hand over the reins (pardon the pun) to my boyfriend and my friend wen it became to much but i never did because i felt fine! Anyway my waters broke 3 weeks early (dont know if it caused it but i had been moving hay bales a couple of hours previous!) but i never got any contractions or anything, the babys heartbeat was all over the place and i spent a very tense couple of days in and out of hospital before they decided to induce me to get the poor, stressed little bubba out... even thou he was clearly not really ready he had no protective fluid and was getting upset. Once born he had very low blood sugar so we had to stay in for a while and as it was during the swine flu malarchy we weren't allowed any visitors :-(
If i have one regret it would be that I was so determined that my life wouldnt change that I didnt stop to think about the little person that really needed me to slow down & look after myself!

I think only you can decide what to do with your mare, you need to decide whether you'd want someone else riding her or whether you'd rather turn her out for a bit and bring her back into work next year, i think there are sharers out there for every horse but it might take you a while to find someone experienced enough for her by which time you may well have already had the baby! If you do decide she needs to keep working then you could consider either paying to have her schooled (prob work out to expensive if she needs working daily! think its normally £15-£20 a session) or maybe asking someone experienced if they'd like to ride her... loads of people at my yard have their own horses but still love the chance to ride other peoples.... variety is the spice of life after all! with this option obviously you'd still have all the expense but at least you can pull the plug as soon as you're ready to ride again!
Even thou my boy can be cheeky (to say the least!) I still rode cos I trusted him to look after me when i was pregnant... but its different as i only hack anyway and i stuck to routes where the chance of him acting up was slim, also i took someone with me whenever possible.... incidentally he must have known to be on best behaviour as he always behaved immaculately and even stopped nudging, wrestling with me constantly when on the ground! Hes back to his old self now thou :-(

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, one thing is for sure and thats that your life will never be the same again.... in a good way! I love my horse (some say im obsessed!) but my priorities have changed since having Aaron, i think thats just the way the world works... I dont get to ride as much anymore (normally just once a week now on a sunday:-() That said I will never part with my 4 legged angel and i will never forget the way he looked after his mummy! You really can have it all its just finding a way to do it that suits you all! good luck!

Ellie X
 
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