Impossible?

WelshD

WelshD

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I am very overweight and have been for about 15 years (stick with this it is horsey!)

If every other aspect of my life wasn't just about perfect I think I would worry more about it but I am very happy so I dint worry

My husband is a nurse so does worry but we have had discussions and he knows I won't do anything about it without deciding in my own mind that I do want to

My mum is hugely disapproving and always vocal about it. After a ling conversation yesterday in which she reminded me of my fearless youth and passion for riding she offered to buy me the horse of my dreams if I lost 10 stone

She is deadly serious.

I can afford my own horse so that's not necessarily the thing. I think it was just the way she worded it - it really hit the point home

Part if me is insulted. Part of me hears a gauntlet being thrown down!
 
What a good Mum! She has your best interests at heart and I can think of no better way of motivating a horse lover than offering to buy the horse of their dreams. Why should you be insulted? She's your mother and is motivated purely by love. Go for it!
 
Without wanting to come across as rude about weight issues, if your weight means you are compromising your current ability to ride, or anything else you love, & your health, then I think it sounds like a good challenge.
I've never dieted, & have no wish to. However I did once stick to a diet of food I hate for a week just because someone bet that I couldn't do it. Even though I knew I would have to work hard after to regain the weight. I did it for the challenge, not the result. So if you have a similar stubborn attitude it may well work for you. I know losing 10stone & permanently changing habits is a lot harder than doing something for a week, but the principle is the same.
 
My parents did exactly the same thing for me about 10 years ago.

I had been overweight for some time but it never bothered me until this offer was put on the table.
Go for it, they have your bests interests at heart and my god you will feel so much better in yourself for having achieved your goal weight and your horse of a lifetime.

The horse which they bought me i had for 9 years losing him only when he succumbed to cancer.

I do not regret a day in the gym or any of the sacrifices i made to ensure he was mine.

:D
 
I was overweight, still am a bit, but going in the right direction. The 2 horses I own, were both capable of carrying me, but one is quite arthrititic, and I've never ridden him very much as he's too big, and the other is 20 next year, and although still very fit and healthy, I am aware she won't go forever. My friend had a lovely youngster that I absolutely adored, and wanted him from the day she got him, and when she finally said I could have him, I was over the moon. Only problem, I was about 4 stone to heavy for him. Have so far lost 3st 3.5lb since I bought him, and finally got on him for the first time about a month ago. I have had him since may and a friend has been riding him and I've been doing ground work. He carries me fine at the weight I am now, but still intend to lose another stone and a half at least before I will feel 100% light enough for him. I am only riding him for about 15 mins when I do get on him, and only walking and doing a little bit of trot.

This was us last night. Bit dark, sorry, and coat is making me look a lot fatter than I actually am now.

58b7114063125d608834733d16a68c83.jpg
 
Lovely that your mum cares so much about your health. It must worry your family a lot!
Go for it :)
Can't think of a better incentive than getting your dream horse. (apart from reducing the your risks of type II diabetes, stroke and heart disease)
 
So are you taking the challenge Welsh D?!

I've just decided to lose a bit as I'm only happy backing and riding one of mine next year due to weight, it's just crept on over the last year. I'd feel guilty on littlun even after someone else backing so have set my mind to lose back to my old weight for her. No better incentive.
 
At least everyone who is overweight on this thread is mindful of their horses. I can't imagine the mindset of those who don't try to lose weight but still ride their horses (the ones that are too small for them).
 
Go for it! You have a great community in here for help and advice. And the added heath benefits of losing weight. I can understand your feeling of insult but the willpower needed will be alot, the work will be hard but at the end you'll have a horse and i believe having one seems to bring back the feelings of childhood. When i loaned my gelding i was told at 13.2 and me at 10 stone 5ft i was too big. I took it as in insult but lost a stone anyway and i found myself happier and it made me feel like id actually accomplished something. The best of luck!
 
I bought myself a 4 year old untrained Exmoor, and needed to lose 4 stone before I would feel happy riding him. I have lost Two and a half stone so far, and that is without riding. Getting the right incentive to lose weight is half the battle. It is working for me. Go for it. I hope it works for you too.
 
I'm going to go against the grain here and say I'm uncomfortable with unasked-for "incentives" for weight loss.

I had serious eating disorder problems when I was younger, which included issues with weight gain. My mother has never understood, and would put pressure on me to lose weight by offering financial incentives over the years. It didn't work, because eating issues are far more complex than that. My health and feelings about myself were much greater incentives than any money, so why would it work?

All my mother's incentives did was make me feel even worse about myself, as they confirmed she didn't accept me unconditionally and we both felt I'd "failed" again. :(

People need to tackle their issues for themselves, at a time which is right for them. If someone asks for sponsorship/incentives, then great, offer by all means. But I think people need to be careful of putting such pressure on others.

If you're ready to lose weight, for your yourself and your quality of life, wonderful! Go for it, and accept your mum's offer as a bonus. :) But please, don't feel bad about yourself if the incentive doesn't work.

It sounds like you need to lose weight, but for your health, not a free horse. The best way for your family to help is to be loving and practical in their support if you tackle your weight, and remind you that they love you regardless if you don't.
 
Thank you all. Lots of encouragement and some wonderful success stories there

Fiona I can see why you have said what you have said and Littlelegs I dont think that was rude

I've only recently seen a doctor for the first time in five years and my health is fine now heart and blood pressure all good etc and apart from being physically too big to ride I am always on the go and live life to the full

However I know it's only a matter of time before I start to suffer and I'm worried that my joints will start to go at some point

So my thoughts are that it's not so much the offer it's the fact that the point was so driven home and it's really made me stop and think properly for the first time

A real wake up call maybe?

Thanks again x
 
Fiona, I mostly lurk, but without sounding like a weird stalker I don't think I've ever read a post of yours and not thought "yep, well put, I agree." This is no exception.

Welsh D if you want to lose weight then do it for you. I'm
Also on a weight loss mission, going really well so far. I think for anyone who loses weight there is a moment where something clicks and you just decide to go for it. Maybe your mums offer was a timely one that coincided with a shift in your thinking anyway. Or maybe as Fiona says it could be another dangling carrot that will make you feel bad if you "fail".

Only you can decide! But in itself, for the reasons you mention, being a healthy weight is a good goal.
 
Nohorse said:
Fiona, I mostly lurk, but without sounding like a weird stalker I don't think I've ever read a post of yours and not thought "yep, well put, I agree." This is no exception.
Click to expand...

:o:o *blushes *

Thanks Nohorse. I was worried when I posted the above as I thought people would think I was just being a killjoy. But I've had quite a lot of experience with weight/eating issues (not just my own) and there are complex psychological issues involved which IMO need consideration.
 
WelshD-if yuo have 10stone to lose then it really is time to get losing it, you're mum is obv worried for you if she's making this offer!
 
WelshD - enjoy Christmas and then think long and hard about it. Not just because you've got an incentive, but because you want to be fit and healthy. Try not to think of it as a diet but a lifestyle change. I've lost a stone over the last few months because I have a pony which is currently being broken in and she is only just touching 14hh and I don't want to squash her. I can still only do 10 minutes ridden work on her, and most of my work with her is long-reining or in hand and one of the young liveries does most of the riding, but after Christmas I'll be back on the health wagon to lose another half stone. Good luck if you decide to go for it. :)
 
WelshD...I have no advice to give you but would like to say a big good luck in whatever you decide. Losing weight is hard and as someone else said it has to be a way of life rather than just a diet or whatever. Im a little overweight myself but am 5ft 11" so carry it well and Im not too heavy for my horse. However, I know if I was to lose some weight it would make ME feel better about myself etc. I just need to give myself a kick in the bum lol.
Your Mum sounds like a superstar and it seems to me she only has your best interests at heart :D
 
Of course you can do it! Certainly not impossible. I know, Ive done it :)

Losing it is not the hard part, as each time you step on the scales you are motivated once again, the maintanence is the hardest but - particularly when theres been a huge loss.

I lost 7 stone, but never maintained properly so put some of it back on - ive now lost another 4 stone and bought my big strong irish draught boy ( who I feel like a wee pea sitting on top of, which is the most amazing feeling! ) :D
Having him is my motivation to never ever put any more weight on again - :) As it would break my heart to be too heavy to ride.


You will need a tonne of motivation though, as you are happy and comfortable with your size then its even harder. What you have to do, is do it only for you - not for anyone else.

You have two big motivators here, being able to ride again, and to become more healthy for the future. You will need to really really want these things to push you through the harder days. Added to that you will have all the added bonuses of feeling better and liking what you see in the mirror more ;)

Sounds terrible but the song that has the phrase " we are onto a winner as long as im getting thinner" is great a great line to have in your head!

It makes no odds if you lose 4lbs a month or 2 stone... as long as its going down not up the your onto a winner :)
 
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SOunds like you can't lose this one OP. Don't be insulted - feel loved and valued! Your mum really wants the best for you. Go for it and let us know how its all going. x
 
Also-I've lost about 2.5 stone so far-can you ask your mum if that qualifies for maybe a wee pony for me while she's feeling generous?
 
kinnygirl1 said:
SOunds like you can't lose this one OP. Don't be insulted - feel loved and valued! Your mum really wants the best for you. Go for it and let us know how its all going. x
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I have to agree... and you don't have to take the horse as the incentive, you could just take the fact your mum thought long and hard about giving you reason to want to do this. I bet she'd love to see you grinning atop a horse again! And I bet you'd feel a massive sense of achievement up there too. Not only that, you'd have incentive to keep it off then too.

H&H is a great place for moral support so you won't be alone if you choose to take the challenge...
so I say go for it, but do it for you and for those around you, rather than just for the horse. Maybe after you could shop for the horse of HER dreams and then you can both ride together :D
 
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Ha ha I'll ask the question Nohorse! Considering my dream horse would be quite modest I expect there will be change out of what mum is offering anyway lol

Thanks again for all of your replies and a big well dine to those who have managed big weight losses :)
 
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