In a mess..don't know what to do

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Ahrena

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In the last 6 months, my life has totally changed.

6 months ago, i got a new horse on loan. He turned out to be a superb horse, so much more than I bargained for. We started doing all the things I always wanted to do, currently eventing be100 and working towards novice.

After years of battling with problem ponies, my whole passion came back when I got him. I realised I wanted to try and make a life out of eventing. I withdrew from uni and decided to stay with my gap year job at mcdonalds until the end of the season, then find a working pupil place.

But then I stumbled on what I thought would be the PERFECT job.it's at a competition livery yard where I look after and exercise the livery horses (all good quality competition horses) and receive training from the owners, a variety of top trainers including yogi breisner.

I got the job, upped sticks and moved 30 miles away from home with my boyfriend, found a little flat ect.

I HATE the job. My horse only gets 2 hours turnout a day which breaks my heart as he loves going out and is already becoming hyper instead of his usual laid back self. In the winter he doesnt get to go out at all - ever. He doesn't feel like mine anymore - I don't get to decide how much turnout, how much hay he gets, other people bring him out and in, i don't even get to muck him out.

I hate the atmosphere as well, at mcdonalds everyone was friends and constantly having a bit of banter and fun, but no one really talks much here.

I also get paid pittance with him being there, which I knew and was fine with. But not when I hate it so much.

I don't know what to do. I can't just go home as I have a minimum 6 month contract on the flat, and can't afford to lose the deposit, I don't know how I could manage to have him at a dif yard as I already have my other horse at a separate yard as she needs turnout so I need to ride and look after her after work, so I ride my eventer in my lunch break. If i had to ride both after 5.30 I wouldn't get home til 8ish then have to be up at 5 and i don't think i can cope with that. Plus then I don't get the training on him so I don't know if there's any point staying at that yard.

I just don't know what to do, I've only been here 4 days and am constantly on the verge of tears, I miss my friends and spending time enjoying my horses so so much.

Maybe i'm just being pathetic and he doesn't care that he doesn't get much turnout and that someone else is looking after him but I do.
 
Early days, early days. You've totally changed your life - job, home, yards - it's completely naturally you will need some time to adjust. You'll also probaby have psyched yourself up, thinking about how great it will be at this place and it's not living up to your (probably unrealistic) expectations. Try and find something positive about it and focus on that. Your horse is probably also a bit unsettled by the move as much as the lack of turnout, so give him a chance to adjust. If it still feels unbearable a month or so down the line, you'll have to chalk it up to experience, but by then you could be loving it ;)

This story sounds familiar (well partly anyway) - are you on youtube, by any chance?
 
Ahrena said:
In the last 6 months, my life has totally changed.

6 months ago, i got a new horse on loan. He turned out to be a superb horse, so much more than I bargained for. We started doing all the things I always wanted to do, currently eventing be100 and working towards novice.

After years of battling with problem ponies, my whole passion came back when I got him. I realised I wanted to try and make a life out of eventing. I withdrew from uni and decided to stay with my gap year job at mcdonalds until the end of the season, then find a working pupil place.

But then I stumbled on what I thought would be the PERFECT job.it's at a competition livery yard where I look after and exercise the livery horses (all good quality competition horses) and receive training from the owners, a variety of top trainers including yogi breisner.

I got the job, upped sticks and moved 30 miles away from home with my boyfriend, found a little flat ect.

I HATE the job. My horse only gets 2 hours turnout a day which breaks my heart as he loves going out and is already becoming hyper instead of his usual laid back self. In the winter he doesnt get to go out at all - ever. He doesn't feel like mine anymore - I don't get to decide how much turnout, how much hay he gets, other people bring him out and in, i don't even get to muck him out.

I hate the atmosphere as well, at mcdonalds everyone was friends and constantly having a bit of banter and fun, but no one really talks much here.

I also get paid pittance with him being there, which I knew and was fine with. But not when I hate it so much.

I don't know what to do. I can't just go home as I have a minimum 6 month contract on the flat, and can't afford to lose the deposit, I don't know how I could manage to have him at a dif yard as I already have my other horse at a separate yard as she needs turnout so I need to ride and look after her after work, so I ride my eventer in my lunch break. If i had to ride both after 5.30 I wouldn't get home til 8ish then have to be up at 5 and i don't think i can cope with that. Plus then I don't get the training on him so I don't know if there's any point staying at that yard.

I just don't know what to do, I've only been here 4 days and am constantly on the verge of tears, I miss my friends and spending time enjoying my horses so so much.

Maybe i'm just being pathetic and he doesn't care that he doesn't get much turnout and that someone else is looking after him but I do.
Click to expand...

My advice to you is - it's 6 months of your life, stick with it. This could be the only opportunity you have to ride with such quality horses/trainers and it could be the stepping stone that gets you into pro eventing - an opportunity that most don't get to even ponder whether to take or not.

Life is hard and sometimes you've got to make hard decisions and take tough roads to get to where you want to be in life.

Nothing worth while doing is ever easy and my advice to you is - look at this for what it is - an amazing opportunity!!! You'll get the chance to enjoy your horse as much as you want when this placement is done. You have your whole life ahead for all the fun stuff.

I'm uber jealous and wish i'd had the opportunity to do something like that when i was young - instead i chose not to go to uni because i couldn't afford to keep my horse there. Something i regret massively now!

Anyway, man up - your horse will be fine for 6 months. Enjoy this while you can! :)
 
Poor you, it must be very stressful being in a new yard, new home, no familiar faces. But it is early days - can you take a deep breath and go talk to the owner?

Perhaps no-one is chatty yet because they don't know you, and everyone is too busy. It always takes time to get to know people, and sometimes the old staff don't make a huge effort with someone new, in case they don't stay long (and it your case it might be true!). So it's sort of catch 22, you are new and unhappy, and they are busy and don't know if it is worth getting to know you yet.

If you are sure you have made a big mistake, and want out, then take a deep breath, lose the money, and pack it in. There is no shame in admitting you were wrong. But if you can tackle some of the problems, it might be worth sticking it out for the training.

It is hard letting other people do your horse when he has been your pride and joy, but he really won't care who turns him out. The lack of turnout is a problem, but could you turn him away for December and January, when the weather is awful, and then when he comes back to the yard in February it won't be long before he goes out again.

Can you nail one of the other staff, perhaps the friendliest one, and tell her you are finding it a bit hard? Or speak to the boss - they wouldn't want to lose you so soon, so they might be prepared to compromise on things like turnout, or you doing your own horse.

One bit I didn't understand - did your boyfriend move with you or is he 30 miles away? Is it him you are missing as much as familiar faces?
 
The decision has to be down to you but I do think you should stick at it for a bit longer - these kind of opportunities don't come along very often and if this is the career you really want you have to grab them with both hands. You've made a big step leaving home to do this and as someone else said you're bound to feel a little lost if things don't meet your expectations so don't beat yourself up about feeling blue.

But I know from other posts that you're not one to admit defeat easily (Lacey!!) so chin up and get on with it. Smile at everyone when you see them and eventually they'll all smile back too and you'll settle in.

Yogi Breisner or Macca D's....???
 
Have you talked to your employer about how you feel about your horses needs and how this will affect him and you ?
There is nothing to stop you from asking for more turnout, they can only say no.
if the horses are seen as individuals and they value your input as a rider on how horse are kept in relation to their work and temperament they may respect your knowledge of how this is going to affect your horse and allow the extra time out.
It is a huge amount of change and stress at one time, give it a bit longer as im sure itll settle down, but i always work along the lines of if you dont ask you dont get, give it a go and good luck :D
 
Thanks everyone.
I feel much better now.

Tbh besides the extra exuberance (it's nothing chronic, threw some massive bucks first time on the canter track and is less patient), he seems content enough, he's in an indoor barn and it's got a window out onto the main yard so he's always watching, and people always stop to give him cuddles cos he's only got 1 eye.

But yeah, I'm feeling better now (very up and down ATM), i've been offered a dressage lesson tomorrow, free and in my work hours! Second one in 5 days so I can't complain, I am defo getting the tuition.

I'm stuck in this town for at least 6 months so may as well give it a good shot before I pack it in.
 
Definately give it longer!!

Your horse is probably on his toes due to the new surroundings as much as the lack of turnout..

You have a fantastic opportunity there - take it, at least over the winter, then decide..

I've worked on some lovely event yards, and found them all a bit stressful at first - these YOs are very set in their ways sometimes (ways that obviously work..) and not always the best communicators. They can't be that bad if you've had two lessons already - so they are trying.

Of course it was always going to be different to McDonalds, harder work and more serious. Even if you decide that this is not for you, a few months there will do you the world of good, riding and eventing wise..

Good luck.x
 
Its always hard at first. Wait until you know the place/people/routine better and I am sure it will then make you happier. Think on the positives, you are getting tuition, which sounds like top class. So many of us on here would give our back teeth for that!
If your horse only gets a few hours out, can you not hand graze him at times, or pick grass for him? I know its not turnout 'relax' mode for the horse, but it gives him some grass.
Above all, I wish you all the best. 'It will be the making of you' - as my mother used to say!
 
Thanks guys.
There's a stables just down the road, it's not a livery i don't think as can't find it online anywhere, but I'm thinking of knocking on the door and seeing if I can pay for him to go out there in the afternoons or something, during winter at least so he gets SOME turnout.

I think it's more homesickness that's making me feel so sad about everything (apart from turnout), i had it very easy back home - worked 10-4 in a doss job, p,played ponies before and after, could take any days off for shows that I wanted..and now it's very different. I knew everyon back home, we had so many different people at work and the majority were personal friends in the end, and I saw my family every day when doing the horses Ect.

Now its much tougher and i wasn't expecting to miss it sp much.
 
you're bound to miss the familiar. I'm willing to put money on the fact that in a month or 2's time you'll hardly remember the old crowd and you definitely won't want to go back to flipping burgers and the easy life.

:) really wish you the best of luck and i'm still uuuuuber jealous :p
 
If you jack it in you will probably spend your life regretting not trying and opportunities don't come up like this twice.

Dig in- even if you're feel *****e slap a smile on and as things settle down and you become a member of the team I'm sure you can swap it around that you get to muckout you chap. The field down the lane sounds like a good idea if you think it will help him settle, but they're very adaptable!

This maybe your ticket into the pros- don't let it go too soon :)
 
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