In Honour of the Older Competitors

scheherazade

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And severe apologies to Lewis Carroll......

“You are old, veteran rider”, the juniors say
“And your hair has become very grey
And yet you incessantly enter our shows,
Don’t you think you should call it a day?”

“In my youth”, said the rider, to all those who asked
“I thought you need brave pants and speed
But now with experience and technical grasp
I have all the tools that I need.”

“You are old”, say the youth, “as we mentioned before
And have got most unreasonably fat
And yet you just turned back from nine, straight to four.
How on earth did you get to do that???”

“In my youth”, said the sage, “giving his old horse a pat
I learned all about balance and rhythm.
I practiced my turns, and worked hard on the flat,
As results, without work, aren’t just given!!”

“You are old”, say the youth, “one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever.
But you always come down on the most perfect stride:
Are you magic, or lucky, or clever??”

“In my youth” said the man, as he went to untack
“it was drilled into us right from the start:
You get the right canter, the horse jumps the track.
It’s all hard work and effort, not art.”

“You are old” say the youth, with respect and with awe.
“Should have hung up your spurs long ago.
And yet many of us still are losing to you.
Pray tell us how this can be so?”

The old rider smiled, as he turned to go home,
Thanking his horse and his stars that he’d won.
He was tired, and hungry, and chilled to the bone
But he’d shown all the kids how it’s done!!!

NB: All characters are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. :)
 
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I'm unreasonably fat, unbalanced and wide
I'm stiff, and my hair is so grey.
My eye is no good, and I can't see a stride
But I haven't yet called it a day!

(With apologies to all, especially my horses)

Wonderful OP!
 
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Brilliant - thanks OP

(from one whose husband had to push her leg over horse yesterday to dismount after 2 dressage tests; if not I'd still be sitting in the saddle)
 
I'm unreasonably fat, unbalanced and wide
I'm stiff, and my hair is so grey.
My eye is no good, and I can't see a stride
But I haven't yet called it a day!

(With apologies to all, especially my horses)

Wonderful OP!

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments. I had lots of fun writing it. Oyster bay I love yours. My reality is far far closer to your version than mine!! :)
 
Really fantastically well done.

Though I'm hurt that TD thinks we might need pointing towards the original :(
Thanks gamebird. I think that was probably just in case any of the "junior riders" happened across it!! It is just a pity that my own recent competition experience was nowhere near as prestigious. I am just old! ;) In fact I am almost old enough to be able to use the term 'whippersnapper' with a relatively straight face :S
 
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Really fantastically well done.

Though I'm hurt that TD thinks we might need pointing towards the original :(

Thanks gamebird. I think that was probably just in case any of the "junior riders" happened across it!! It is just a pity that my own recent competition experience was nowhere near as prestigious. I am just old! ;) In fact I am almost old enough to be able to use the term 'whippersnapper' with a relatively straight face :S

Exactly, GB. It's not all about you ;) :D
 
The OP was so wonderful it ought to be immortalised in print. H and H??

Is there scope for a thread with similar 'adaptations'? The Rime of the Ancient Eventer, perhaps? Grey beard loons feature, so I'm sure they could be incorporated without too much difficulty.............

In the meantime, (especially for GB!), where is this from?

Having been talking about putting shoes on horses.......

"Do not allow yourself to be carried away by the discovery that the horse is almost the only animal that you can hammer nails into with success; don't try to hammer nails into it in all sorts of places - in order to fix the saddle firmly on the back, for instance, or even to prevent the nose-bag continually coming off. That would be unsuccessful.
Nor should you make the mistake of thinking that the hoof itself is just a solid lump of animal cork. On the contrary, it is full of Coronets, Cushions, Coffins, Leaves and, amazing as it may seem, there are FROGS IN IT. These frogs go in pairs; a sensitive frog and an insensitive frog. The latter, of course, can look after itself, but all good-hearted riders take the greatest care not to hurt the feeling of the Sensitive Frog in the slightest degree.

Note:- Horses are far too intelligent not to want to kick each other sometimes; it is advisable therefore when putting horses out to grass to remove the hind shoes. And since horses are apt to make themselves ill by rushing about in the sun and then plunging into ponds, it might be a good idea to unscrew the hind legs as well - horse-surgeons will do almost anything, as well as almost nothing, for three guineas."
 
Superb! Can I steal it for someone? If yes, please p.m. your name so I can provide appropriate accreditation.

HH I have PM'd you :)

The OP was so wonderful it ought to be immortalised in print. H and H??

Is there scope for a thread with similar 'adaptations'? The Rime of the Ancient Eventer, perhaps? Grey beard loons feature, so I'm sure they could be incorporated without too much difficulty.............

In the meantime, (especially for GB!), where is this from?

Having been talking about putting shoes on horses.......

"Do not allow yourself to be carried away by the discovery that the horse is almost the only animal that you can hammer nails into with success; don't try to hammer nails into it in all sorts of places - in order to fix the saddle firmly on the back, for instance, or even to prevent the nose-bag continually coming off. That would be unsuccessful.
Nor should you make the mistake of thinking that the hoof itself is just a solid lump of animal cork. On the contrary, it is full of Coronets, Cushions, Coffins, Leaves and, amazing as it may seem, there are FROGS IN IT. These frogs go in pairs; a sensitive frog and an insensitive frog. The latter, of course, can look after itself, but all good-hearted riders take the greatest care not to hurt the feeling of the Sensitive Frog in the slightest degree.

Note:- Horses are far too intelligent not to want to kick each other sometimes; it is advisable therefore when putting horses out to grass to remove the hind shoes. And since horses are apt to make themselves ill by rushing about in the sun and then plunging into ponds, it might be a good idea to unscrew the hind legs as well - horse-surgeons will do almost anything, as well as almost nothing, for three guineas."

OB I have no idea where that quote is from - it is very funny though! Think there is definitely scope for others, so many great works to adapt so long as I don't get in trouble with copywriters!!!! Today sadly, is not such a quiet day in the office. Your verse was genius - I loved it!!
 
OP, that is fantastic - what a talent! I actually think it's better than the original (and I went to Lewis Carroll's old college so I should be biased, but maybe horses will always win out ;)).

I relate more to OB's verse personally mind you, particularly the unbalanced and grey comments...
 
The OP was so wonderful it ought to be immortalised in print. H and H??

Is there scope for a thread with similar 'adaptations'? The Rime of the Ancient Eventer, perhaps? Grey beard loons feature, so I'm sure they could be incorporated without too much difficulty.............

In the meantime, (especially for GB!), where is this from?

Having been talking about putting shoes on horses.......

"Do not allow yourself to be carried away by the discovery that the horse is almost the only animal that you can hammer nails into with success; don't try to hammer nails into it in all sorts of places - in order to fix the saddle firmly on the back, for instance, or even to prevent the nose-bag continually coming off. That would be unsuccessful.
Nor should you make the mistake of thinking that the hoof itself is just a solid lump of animal cork. On the contrary, it is full of Coronets, Cushions, Coffins, Leaves and, amazing as it may seem, there are FROGS IN IT. These frogs go in pairs; a sensitive frog and an insensitive frog. The latter, of course, can look after itself, but all good-hearted riders take the greatest care not to hurt the feeling of the Sensitive Frog in the slightest degree.

Note:- Horses are far too intelligent not to want to kick each other sometimes; it is advisable therefore when putting horses out to grass to remove the hind shoes. And since horses are apt to make themselves ill by rushing about in the sun and then plunging into ponds, it might be a good idea to unscrew the hind legs as well - horse-surgeons will do almost anything, as well as almost nothing, for three guineas."

Brilliant. :D
 
Fantastic, love it !!! as one of those heading down the going grey and aching after I ride road, but still wanting to show the youngsters how it is done . very much appreciated!!
 
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