Insane livery clients

H

Halfstep

Well-Known Member
Joined
4 July 2005
Messages
6,966
Location
Oxfordshire
Visit site
.....no yard is complete without 'em! I was reminiscing about some of the true fruitbats I've known at various yards over the years....

Like the kleptomaniac who stole anything that wasn't tied down, including a half eaten swede from my horse's stable.

Or the lady who would leave her car running with the heat on full for 30 mins before riding to "warm up her tack".

Or the nutcase dressage rider whose horses never set foot out of their stable except to be schooled (sorry, booted round the school until they dripped), wore heavy rugs in the hottest weather, and had horrible welts on their sides from his spurs. That was just sad, I felt so sorry for those poor horses.

Or the screamer who would throw yard implements and spout torrents of abuse if she didn't get her own way.

Or the girl who rode in a bikini (bottoms and top), a pair of flipflops......and nothing else (ouch).

Or the girl who had sex with the YM in her horse's stable (with her horse in there!). YM's wife was on the yard at the time.

Or the narcissistic showjumper who (I swear) used to put socks down the front of his breeches to make his, err, silhouette more, err, impressive.....

......I'm sure you've got much better ones than these!
blush.gif
 
no, I cant do any better tahn that, thats hilarious, Im sure we must be at the same yard........oooooh, you forgot the woman who writes publicly about all the freaks at her yard on some forum and gets sued for slander he he he x
 
Lol, class! We are all pretty normal on our yard; bar the Yard Owner, who told me off on tuesday for "getting show-sheen, on one of the forks
confused.gif
confused.gif
!" (Id brushed my horses tail, then mucked out, using one of our 25 forks; Im such a nasty vindictive livery!
crazy.gif
confused.gif
grin.gif
wink.gif
)
 
Just to add, my examples are from a number of yards spanning nearly 15 years and two continents! I'm sure I am the nutcase on my present yard, as everyone else seems quite normal.
 
Cant beat those. I am lucky we are on a relatively sane yard - except of the horses as we have a fair percentage who are completely nuts including one of mine
 
OK so owner wants to do NH. Horse is pretty perfect but apparently it's decided it isn't keen on things up above her head
confused.gif
confused.gif

So NH trainer & livery owner drive trailer into school and stand ladder up against it, which someone climbs up.
Half an hour later, horse has accepted that ladders are not actually THAT bad, but that trailers contain leopards/tigers/crocodiles and will never go near one again.
 
Yes and another whose horse was LOU'd three yrs ago and is never ridden but she clips it out in full every winter and then puts ten heavy weights on it cos she 'hates hair' !! I think thats insane dont know bout you lot
 
What about crazy YO's? My old one once shouted to my horse 'That grass is for eating not galloping on'!!! Err, try enforcing that on a 4yo TB that has been in all week because the fields are a bit wet! Oh dear, what can you do.....
crazy.gif
 
"turnout is monday/wednesday/friday..but please dont add to the muck-heap on tuesday/thursday."

soooo, where do we put it on non turnout days???

NH follower..bought new project, and turned it away in the middle of november, so it could acclimatise to "just being a horse"...nothing wrong there i hear you say, except it was fully clipped!!!

same NH follower had a concrete slab, 15 feet by 15 feet put down in the turnout paddock where her horse was, because it would help its now shoeless feet to harden!!!

dressage diva whose horse was clipped all year round, rugged all year round, fed hard feed all year round, schooled all year round, but went nowhere all year round!!!!

i'm sure i could drag up a few more!!
 
He He....... Cant beat that but got a few corkers....

-- Livery on old yard bought horsebox.... horse never been in it in last 6 years but its somewhere nice to sit and make a brew !!!!!!
crazy.gif

-- Livery on old yard telling me off as my pony was teaching his how to get stuck in the fence????!!!!
crazy.gif

-- YO on previous yard telling me my pony wasnt making enough money for him because he didnt eat enough haylage???!!!
crazy.gif


Edited to add... livery on current yard complaining about her pony being furry. We said to her either have him clipped or buy a rug to prevent him getting an even bigger coat. She replied "ill just have him clipped its cheaper, i cant afford a rug "!!!
 
Okay this i dont get, girl at my old yard had a pony and paid out every week for rent which was £20 not to mention shoes, insurance etc etc yet the pony stays out in the field 24/7 and she came up to see it about once a month!?!? Which she normally just gave it a feed and a brush and turned it out again, next to never rode. Seems insane to me, what a waste of money! She only lived ten minutes away and was a schoolgirl so its not as though she didnt have time for it! Okay its not funny like the rest, but it is pretty damn insane.
xxx
 
PMSL!
Love the warming the tack and the guy sticking things down his pants to make him look *cough* more like a man
wink.gif


Sadly the others arent so nice, although if i was the horse and my owner was having sex in my stable i would probably poo on their heads LMAO!

Ive had to, over the years put up with the person who bought a horse because it was nice to look at, but never rode it, fed it bucket loads of feed, rarely got its feet attended too. In the winter the horse was kept in most of the time due to owner not being able to get OUT of bed in the morning. And in the summer it was left out 24/7 never checked for about 5 months.

The ppl who have very little money, buy their horses everything, but in actual fact are killing them with kindness.

Ppl who have all the new gagets and think its the correct thing to have on their horse, but in actual fact, nothing fits correctly and the horse is in terrible pain.

Argh!
 
lol.

i know some fruit cakes....

a friend of mine i ride for used to get a white witch to chant good things to the manic horse while i used to ride it from 400 miles away in ireland. She also had to drink 2 glasses of brandy before i rode and had to rub oils on the horses temples!!

I think everyone knows some crazy dressage wannabes... i know many.
 
Been laughing out loud in the Laboratory!

We had an old dear who used to be so p*ssed in the afternoons, if we didn't run 2 get the yard gates open, she'd just drive over them!

Menopausal woman who thought her horse was also suffering "hot flushes" & "the chiiiiillllllllls" and so left her horse 1/2 naked in the winter, and rugged in the summer.

But best had to be a lady (who is also a dear friend) who couldn't ride anymore ~ well not until she had to have her particularly large labia reduced ~ eurghhh!
 
We had a mad woman at my old yard, she paid a fortune for an 18 yr old ex racehorse that had been fired because it was going to be put down if she didn't buy it (they sooooo saw her coming)
It was an absolute lunatic (alledgedly) and would canter and jog down the road sideways and she would always be saying that he went 'ballistic'! she used to kick him and pull on the reins at the same time making him leap about everywhere. She would do this when ever someone was watching her, but if nobody was watching he would walk along nicely until this mad woman started winding him up, poor horse.
I rode him once and no one believed it was the same horse
smile.gif
 
LOL at these!!!! A lady who keeps her horse at the stables is completely OCD with her horse's bed...it is the cleanest, deepest, most perfect bed in the world!!!! Once the YO went into the stable to lead the horse out and this lady turned up and went mental because the YO had walked on the bed.
 
lol at this some not so nice obviously.
When we were at livery, aged about 9 + 11, we went up, dropped off, horrid woman decided to turn out (someone elses??) pony in the school.
I went to ask how long she'd be out for (after all, school is not just for one persons use?) and she went ballistic, swearing, calling us bitches etc! To 2 children on their own?
(apparently sister had already asked her so this was the problem)
So had to call dad to come and watch us ride and horse was removed.
And THEN tried to say 'oh we've always been friends, no need to call daddy right?'
And I was like uhhhh...
This woman also believes her daughter is gods gift, blamed the PC when the horse was found to be lame on both front legs (Apparently) and this was why it wouldn't jump..
 
-Some of these are truly incredible. What a mad world!
- The best I can do is;
The livery whose horses can't go out in the wet as they are 'allergic to rain'.......Same person also believes that these horses should NEVER be naked - always rugged up, even if it's just a fly sheet in summer.
- YO who calls FULL livery heping herself to MY feed - not just once but routinely for weeks to feed her own. Bit of a give away when her own bins are constantly empty. When pulled up on this replies 'Well you told me to feed your horse more, I'm only doing what you asked'. Yeah a BIT more but not double what he normally has. Helps herself to my mane and tail sprays, supplements, you name it. Same YO fills my horses haynet with trash hay scraped off the barn floor, I once found a 10 inch piece of wooden pallet in the haynet. Dust, spores, ughhh. Same YO insists that we do not remove my weave grill on leaving yard (Yes we HAD to get outta there!) as it will 'destroy the door'. Plenty more where that came from. A total taker and a loop too.
laugh.gif
laugh.gif
 
Oh we've had a load of nutters:

One woman who wouldn't shoe her very foot sore horse and had an outside cattle pen and proceeded to use around 20 bales of straw to try and get it level (er it slopes to drain...)

Another who was terrified of her heavy cob and just fed it vast quantities of hard feed then accused us of starving our horses (pony with laminitis and fat hunters)

Another who had her horse from a baby and was 9 years old and still unbroken for riding

Another who uses so much haylage they have 2ft 6" high by 2ft wide banks made purely from haylage that are quietly festering

Of 10 liveries only 1 has ever riding their horse regularly. There's loads of people with expensive pets!
 
hmmm well there was an old livery that tried to convince me she was previously an international showjumper and that her dad 'invented' studs for when she was jumping. hmmm yes I believed her *cough cough*

Then there is another women at old yard who I just couldn't cope with in the end. Knew s*d all about horses but thought she knew everything would not take (and still won't) any constructive criticism and was actually known to have huge vocal (read screaming) argument with fellow liveries when she was at fault but YO to soft to ask her to leave.

some other corkers but I may still be on the same yard as them so wouldn't possibly want to comment
wink.gif
tongue.gif
 
I had a livery who would'nt speak to me. She would come down and just get on with her jobs and never engage in conversation, not even a hello
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top