Wellingtondog
Member
Hi all - been reading this forum for a while but first time post.
I returned to horses this year after a six year break and before that I hadn't ridden regularly since I was a teenager.
I was having a private lesson with the instructor the yard I chose provided on the day I could get childcare and seemed to be making really good progress. Some weeks I did better than others but the only consistent theme has been how stupidly hard I always am on myself to be better/good at everything.
My instructor has caused former pupils (women in similar situations to mine) and some of the stable staff to complain about him. He's polite to begin with but when things go a bit tits up he drags you right down.
I loan the yard owner's horse. He's hard mouthed and massively strong. But really lovely to ride once you take charge. Sensitive but reliable and amazing paces. He isn't ridden by novices but we've been doing really well, controlled, on the bit and I have taken him over some jumps outside of my lesson which we both loved and instantly clicked.
The lessons have steadily started frustrating me more and more though - other people joining and so get little or no input, fierce criticism when you don't understand the instructions, bitching about younger work experience girls' riding skills when they've joined and then last week everything fell apart. For some reason the instructor threw out both arms in front of my horse and did a massive burp. (?!) the poor thing was petrified and spent the rest of the lesson swerving and backing away from him - wouldn't let him near us. And I was yelled at for not showing him who's boss, a whip was brought out and I fell apart a bit as I was angry, frustrated and scared as he's usually fine in the arena.
Anyway this week he still won't let instructor near him without napping. Instructor grabbed bridle and shouts at me to get my leg on him. Fine I did and talked to him gently but I also said to instructor "please stop." From then on, he was icy with me and critical and when I said I hadn't enjoyed the lesson much and the spookiness was worrying me I was told "you did that. He never used to be like this. You need to take that on board."
I am heartbroken that I might have now ruined a gorgeous horse and livid that the lesson ended on such a horrible note. I merely said "thanks," dismounted and led my boy away. Crying a lot.
I know horses sense fear and my nerves after this spooking have been a bit shot but I still get on him with every confidence and hack as well. He goes beautifully for me when we're alone so I know I'm the problem in prolonging it but feel distraught I may have caused it too. Yard manager away so will speak to her when she's back but deputy said he's always been spooky, has never liked men and I just need to relax more when I ride.
Would like to hear thoughts from anyone who's come through a blip or other instructors with advice. Am I doing the wrong thing by having my "own" and not riding someone different each time? I do ride other horses when I work and volunteer at the yard if they need the exercise but this has crumpled me.
So sorry for long post. Congrats to anyone who's got this far!
I returned to horses this year after a six year break and before that I hadn't ridden regularly since I was a teenager.
I was having a private lesson with the instructor the yard I chose provided on the day I could get childcare and seemed to be making really good progress. Some weeks I did better than others but the only consistent theme has been how stupidly hard I always am on myself to be better/good at everything.
My instructor has caused former pupils (women in similar situations to mine) and some of the stable staff to complain about him. He's polite to begin with but when things go a bit tits up he drags you right down.
I loan the yard owner's horse. He's hard mouthed and massively strong. But really lovely to ride once you take charge. Sensitive but reliable and amazing paces. He isn't ridden by novices but we've been doing really well, controlled, on the bit and I have taken him over some jumps outside of my lesson which we both loved and instantly clicked.
The lessons have steadily started frustrating me more and more though - other people joining and so get little or no input, fierce criticism when you don't understand the instructions, bitching about younger work experience girls' riding skills when they've joined and then last week everything fell apart. For some reason the instructor threw out both arms in front of my horse and did a massive burp. (?!) the poor thing was petrified and spent the rest of the lesson swerving and backing away from him - wouldn't let him near us. And I was yelled at for not showing him who's boss, a whip was brought out and I fell apart a bit as I was angry, frustrated and scared as he's usually fine in the arena.
Anyway this week he still won't let instructor near him without napping. Instructor grabbed bridle and shouts at me to get my leg on him. Fine I did and talked to him gently but I also said to instructor "please stop." From then on, he was icy with me and critical and when I said I hadn't enjoyed the lesson much and the spookiness was worrying me I was told "you did that. He never used to be like this. You need to take that on board."
I am heartbroken that I might have now ruined a gorgeous horse and livid that the lesson ended on such a horrible note. I merely said "thanks," dismounted and led my boy away. Crying a lot.
I know horses sense fear and my nerves after this spooking have been a bit shot but I still get on him with every confidence and hack as well. He goes beautifully for me when we're alone so I know I'm the problem in prolonging it but feel distraught I may have caused it too. Yard manager away so will speak to her when she's back but deputy said he's always been spooky, has never liked men and I just need to relax more when I ride.
Would like to hear thoughts from anyone who's come through a blip or other instructors with advice. Am I doing the wrong thing by having my "own" and not riding someone different each time? I do ride other horses when I work and volunteer at the yard if they need the exercise but this has crumpled me.
So sorry for long post. Congrats to anyone who's got this far!
