Is it possible to negotiate with a mare?

M

Mbronze

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I took my new mare to her first outdoor sj competition of the season, and had a bit of a bad time with her.

Firstly she wasn't going forward, so stuck my spurs on.

Then, she napped before the first practice fence, i promptly pushed her on and she reared then bucked (i fell off - broke my finger)

Got back on, determined to do the jump, she jumped.

Went into arena for clear round, she was pulling the reins out of my hands and unseating me. She had two stops because of this!

Next round, took my spurs off..and totally different horse. Nice clear round (still unseating me a bit)

So after this long ramble would anybody think that it was the spurs, or another issue??

I am going to ride her today and change her bit, she currently has a french link snaffle but my instructor thinks she is a bit too 'gobby' in it, too much biting the bit , if you know what i mean! Any body know how to get them working from behind, or is this a negotiation stage....

Never had a mare before, didn't realise they are so high maintenance...feel sorry for my partner now!
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oh i would have mares over geldings any day some one once told me - you plead with your stallions, bully your geldings, and perswade(sp) your mares- it does seem to be true for all the horses i have come into contact with lol hope your finger gets well soon
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As Furryears says, Mares don't like to be told what to do
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I adore mares! Once you've got their trust they try their hearts out for you, so if you're new to the ride I recommend that you spend some time getting to know her... let her get away with a few things (nothing awful like rearing!) and she'll settle in her own time and become more cooperative
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Good luck! I'm sure you'll find she's worth it and I hope your finger gets better soon
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You make it a joint partnership, and never use force. Start learning all the methods for explaining what you're after rather than trying to impose. I'd ditch your instructor and find one who understood the concept of coming through rather than trying to fiddle with a bit. In fact, if you cant' get rid of the bit and ride in a head-collar, you're not explaining it well enough. The seat, legs and weight aids are how we communicate, reins/bit/hands come last and are the finesse. And yes, ditch the spurs. They're for the very, very fine tuning to differentiate between the 'move across' and 'come under' requests.

it's a different kind of riding, but it's far more rewarding.

E
 
When I first got my mare she would just stop for no reason out hacking. You could kick her, hit her, bully her and she would just stand and refuse to move. In the end I worked out that if we just sat and waited and not make an issue out of it, she then stopped dong it and it never happened again.
As said above, it has to be a partnership, she has to want to do it for you. Once sorted you'll have a partner for life.
 
I think you'll find the saying is Tell a gelding, Ask a mare & Negociate with a Stallion....bullying never comes into it.

To get your horse to work from behind you need to do loads of transitions & loads of leg yielding on each rein. This encourages the horse to bring his legs through from behind . This will make the horse better balanced, more soft through the back & engage the quarters & use herself more correctly, propelling herself forward from an engaged rear end.

From the change in the way your horse performed with spurs & no spurs, I would question if you are using them correctly. They are their to accurately apply the aids, not the 'spur the horse on'. She was obviously unhappy with some aspect of what you were doing. Try some more schooling & leave the spurs out of the equasion for the time being. A few lessons with a good trainer is always a good option.
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When I first got my mare she would just stop for no reason out hacking. You could kick her, hit her, bully her and she would just stand and refuse to move.

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OMG!! Have you got PF??!! She used to do that too!! In fact, she still does if she sees something VERY interesting or scary; like children on a swing!
I have to wait for her to decide to move on!
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my friend always used to say when you ride a mare they are a lady and you ask them nicely and then they will do it.
 
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you plead with your stallions, bully your geldings, and perswade(sp) your mares- it does seem to be true for all the horses

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lol that is actually very true. Gentle persuassion is the only way with my mare
 
When you get it right with a mare, by asking only, you will have them eating out of your hand! Mares will try their hearts out for you providing you do not bully them into anything. The commitment a mare will give to her rider is far more than you could ever get from a gelding who will do what they are told but never with full huge enthusiasm and this commitment from mares also rank above stallions who tend to be a bit lazy.....in my opinion.
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Having and preferring mares, certainly they are different to handle. Treat a mare well and she will give you her heart, treat her badly and ...... (an old saying)
 
I absolutely agree, mares over geldings any time, except perhaps as a first horse as geldings tend to be more forgiving of mistakes and slight ham-fistedness. We have all mares now and would not have geldings again.
 
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When you get it right with a mare, by asking only, you will have them eating out of your hand! Mares will try their hearts out for you providing you do not bully them into anything. The commitment a mare will give to her rider is far more than you could ever get from a gelding who will do what they are told but never with full huge enthusiasm and this commitment from mares also rank above stallions who tend to be a bit lazy.....in my opinion.
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Absolutely!!
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Give me a mare over a gelding any day
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*and I say that even though one of mine is being a right hormonal moo at the mo*
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You definitely cannot tell I mare what to do
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If I try to dictate to Ellie she gives me that 'B**g*r *FF' look and then misbehaves. As soon as I say 'ok but if you might see your way to just.....'

She goes 'alright then seems you asked nicely!'
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I love mares
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Ebi my mare likes to argue with you. If you argue back she gets worse. You have to ask a mare to do something, and ask nicely whereas with a gelding you can tell them what to do.
Once you have worked out how to get your mare to do what you want without arguing you will shine. A mare will out perform anything when you get it right with her.
I wouldnt have a gelding. Ive got 3 mares and wouldnt swap them for anything. They all have their own quirks but when you know them inside out you have a great partnership
 
Thanks for all your comments, I think we are in a transition period at the moment.

I'll make an effort to spend more time with her, she is really lovely on the ground. I think it is going to have to be the gently gently approach. (she is very much a lady)

I really do try to ride with my seat and my leg, although having said that my instructor always rollocks me for using my hand to much...

Its just so strange when my other boy is so good, and never questions me. I suppose when you have owned a horse for 15 years and along comes a new one its bound to be odd.

I think me and my new mares relationship sounds like it will be so much different...!
 
If you can face the ridicule (and it is worth it, believe me), clicker training incorporated into a kind of softly classical groundwork (see everyone from Nuno Olivero to John Lyons, via Alex Kurland's clicker training books) is a truly astonishing way to improve/enhance/deepen the groundwork partnership and then transfer it to the saddle. My filly went from screaming hysterics where she tried to run over the top of anyone who wanted to lead her in from the field - this in the depths of winter when the field was a bog and she loved coming in - to today when I went out simply to say 'hello' and had no time to ride/work and she came up towards me, stopped, lowered her head and walked in to my shoulder with her head down - which is what I've asked of her and reinforced endlessly as a first step to 'long and low' groundwork and ridden work. It was soft and quiet and utterly fantastic....

good luck

E
 
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I do not negotiate, just tell them what to do - never had a problem.

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Ahhh, but they may have a problem with you
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