Is it time to give up on him? Opinions and advice, please!

Grumpy Herbert

Grumpy Herbert

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I've reached a point with my gelding where I don't know if it's worth carrying on riding him and would like some advice/opinions. Here's the story:

I bought my lad 4 years ago when he was 12. He had only ever hunted and I hoped he would make a good hacking horse. I didn't spend a lot of money on him so was aware there may be problems. He is great on the ground, loves fuss and attention, is great to shoe, catch (most of the time!), load etc. But his attitude to ridden work is dreadful. I have tried to school him and have made some progress, but he clearly doesn't enjoy it. He has come up with the most amazing range of evasions! He is spooky, so hacking out isn't as relaxing as it should be either. This horse will do anything I ask of him from the ground. He has been ridden by others who have found him to be exactly the same with them, so it's not just me. He's sound and well, and has had all the usual checks ie teeth, back, tack. I had 8 months off last year due to pregnancy, so have only really just started back riding him, but I'm tired of all the arguing. I love him dearly and would not contemplate selling him - I don't believe in passing on problems and part of me believes we can overcome this. I'm not usually one for giving in either, but I'm just so tired. I've had some good times with him, but he seems to be getting worse in his attitude to work and I can't find a way to get past that.

So, should I accept that this horse just doesn't enjoy being ridden and 'retire' him? (I have the option of doing this at my yard - they need a companion horse) Or should I just put this down to a 'blip' because of the time I've been off and persevere?

Thank you if you've made it this far!!!
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I'de put it down as a blip, Maybe keep hunting him if that what he enjoys, Or try sending him off for some proffesional schooling.
Dont give up!

R
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Horses are VERY expensive animals, in terms of money and time. Riding horses is meant to be a pleasure, if you do not get pleasure from riding him, then find something else for him to do. Try not to give up yourself though.
 
Its difficult to say really.

How was he before you gave him a break?

My auntie has an ex-hunter and he is more or less the same. Spooky in the school and out hacking. He doesnt really have any motivation to work so she just walks him up the road, takes about 20 mins, or lunges him for 20-25 mins around 3-4 times a week just to keep him ticking over. I suppose you could call it semi retirement. I think he feels he has done his fair share of work and now its time to rest hehe.
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Was he a good hunter???

If yes, then I would definately consider looking for a hunting only home for him. An established hunter is worth their weight in gold, so why have him sitting in the field if he can do a useful job?
 
STOP right there. Under no circumstances give up Missy! I had exactly the same trouble. You need to win this battle or every time there is a problem you will never have something to support your confidence.

Make him do what you want him to do. Have you lunged him first? have you practiced join up i.e. every single day? Check his saddle is right, correct bit.

Please don't let him win - I am so so glad I didn't give up on mine. She was a nightmare!!
 
If he'd only ever been hunted, he ought to be sensible out hacking. He may be better in company rather than on his own, but that aside hunting should have given him all the experiences of riding through countryside and made it fun for him.
Where is he spooky? A horse that has come from the countryside will never have seen heavy traffic or rubbish & the opposite could be said for a horse that has grown up in a town environment.

I'm a big believer of schooling whilst out hacking. You can achieve loads in a small corner of a field or a cutting in some woods, the horse will get used to the different surface and ought to be more forward.

Does he enjoy x-c? Is there anything that he is cut out for? Perhaps a loan home would be suitable where the "foster parents" can get the most from him.
 
Hi. sorry you are in such a dilemma here.

I bought an ex hunter for my husband.....all he wanted to do was hack out a couple of times a week. The mare was also 12 when we bought her.thought at that age she would just be glad of an easier life.not a chance! She just loved to work..a 2 hour hack wasn't enough for her she wanted that several times aweek..we just couldn't give her the work she was best suited to.

We kept her for 3 years and then decided to give it up with her. I sold her to the most amazing home....a home for life and all that( heard that one so many times before) She lasted in this home for a week before being exchanged at a dealers yard.

A small teenager bought this mare for showjumping and competing on(16.3HH medium weight)....they still have her and have had for about 15 years now..horses for courses, maybe its the same way with humans.humans for( whatever rhymes with humans here)

I wasn't bothered about the money with this mare, paid very little for her in the first place and I have a problem with loaning out....glad that this mare is still being ridden and is in a home where they think the world of her.
 
I would say don't give up, you aren't asking a lot of him and I would say 16 is too young to retire a horse that's fit and healthy. My advise would be, put him on a decent calming suppliment to take the 'spooky' edge off him, just been talking about this on another thread, but Blue Chip calmer and Equine America So Kalm seem to be good.
My horse is 16 and I've had him 12 years. I gave up trying to compete on him 6 years ago as I was fed up of 'arguing' and tantrums, and was content with being a happy hacker. But, in that time, we've both got into bad/ lazy habits. I've now got a resurgence in interest shall we say, due to a change in personal circumstances, and I feel determined to get a bit more out of my boy (had far too much of an easy life) and become a better rider myself. I've got a dressage instructor and completely gone back to basics... seriously I've had about 5 lessons now all in walk and trot only!! It's not easy, but I'm already seeing results and last night, for the first time ever my horse properly accepted the bit and lathered up... so if I can improve my nag after 12 years, then there's hope for you all!!
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Maybe have some lessons... a fresh look at things by someone else might make a difference?
Good luck!
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STOP right there. Under no circumstances give up Missy! I had exactly the same trouble. You need to win this battle or every time there is a problem you will never have something to support your confidence.

Make him do what you want him to do. Have you lunged him first? have you practiced join up i.e. every single day? Check his saddle is right, correct bit.

Please don't let him win - I am so so glad I didn't give up on mine. She was a nightmare!!

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Maybe its not about winning though, maybe its about realising the horse doesn't want to do that job. You've had him a long time, if he's not really better than I'd say he needs a change of job. Riding should be fun for you both, not a struggle.

Maybe loan him out as a hunter, if thats what he likes.
 
It's interesting to read the posts saying don't give up.

But surely it's about more than that in this case - it's about find the right job for this horse.

Some are born to work - and so perhaps the quieter life just isn't for this horse.
 
Thanks for your input!

StacieandJed - my lad sounds just like your aunties!

AmyMay - I don't think he can have been a particularly good hunter, as the whipper-in of the local hunt sold him to me. I assume he would have found a home within the hunt if he was decent? (I don't hunt myself)

Genie - I would not sell him on, as he has other issues and I doubt he would find a good home.

DollyDolls - unfortunately, he's spooky just about everywhere! We are lucky to have off road hacking, but he's terrified of tractors, flapping pigeons, pheasants, hedgerows, trees, random blades of grass.......

I am lucky enough to have another horse, so I won't give up riding. I got her as a 3 year old and broke her myself and she's a completely different type of horse - very bold and up for anything. I bought the gelding as a companion for her when my old horse died, but one that I could also do something with.

It's nice to have impartial advice, so thanks again!
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Having been in your shoes I understand completely. My boy was a nightmare and still is. He's a TB but has never been forward thinking. After paying a considerable sum for him (he had mega potential and good breeding) as a freshly backed 4yr old he decided he didn't like to jump. Not much help considering he was bought to event! He became less and less forward going over time and eventually I resorted to getting the vet out. Luckily for me the vet picked up a suspensory injury and so Jesper didn't get sold. However he is still lazy and hard work. Having since done numerous injuries he is now my hack but like yours is spooky and not an easy ride. I've made the decision to keep him as he does bring me much happiness and couldn't part with him after all we've been through, however as AmyMay says they are expensive animals to keep. You need to work out whether he makes your day brighter or not. I can't imagine not seeing Jesper's head over the stable door. Ok I don't ride so often but he still makes me smile. Only you know what is the answer.
 
I had a horse for 3 years and although I loved him and rode him everyday I never really clicked with him. He made me lose my confidence and although we had good days these were outweighed by the bad ones. He was an ex point to pointer who loved to jump but did it at such speed he put me off jumping. I eventually decided to sell him. He went to a fantastic home where he was much better suited to the girl who bought him who showjumped and evented him. It was the best decision I made because I then bought my ex-eventer who has given me so much confidence and pleasure. I then realised I should have sold the ex point to pointer sooner. I had kept him because I didn't want to give up on him and I loved him but he ended up with someone who was much better for him than me.
We invest so much of out time, money and emotions into our horses that it should at least be fun! If the bad days start outweighing the good days then it's time to have a good think. Selling your horse on doesn't mean you have let him down. In some cases like mine you have given them the chance to be in a home which is better suited to them.
It's a hard decision to make and only you know what's right for you.
 
As you are quite happy to keep him til the end of his days why not put him on loan for hunting during the season then have him back for turning away to grass through the summer.

This way he gets to hunt and you get to play with him on the ground whilst he has his holidays.
 
All really sensible advice, I wouldnt give up on him either there has got to be a way around it and still allowing you to have fun and enjoy riding him. Good luck x x x
 
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Horses are VERY expensive animals, in terms of money and time. Riding horses is meant to be a pleasure, if you do not get pleasure from riding him, then find something else for him to do. Try not to give up yourself though.

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I agree with this. You've spent time and money on him and it seems neither of you are happy schooling and hacking out. As you have another lovely horse I would retire him. I don't believe you are giving up merely making your and his life easier - Dont forget it's meant to be fun.
 
Ok, so if you're deterimed to keep him. You need to focus on what he can do.

Do you ever do any fun rides or consider hunting him yourself???
 
I'm soprry - what does he actually do? I couldn't get that from your post other than spooking? Mine likes to spook at whatever he can but I know he's not actually scared he's just a fool and I swear he loves the 'rush' of scaring himself!

What do you actually do with your horse? Have you maybe tried doing something different that he and you may both enjoy? I took my pony (he's a real nerotic worrier) to try polocrosse once as thought maybe I would take it up to have something for him as his jumping was a little erratic to say the least. Well, I have never seen him so relaxed, he thought it was good fun and i guess maybe he did have to work his brain a bit bur it wasn't as much pressure as jumping.

if you are just wanting to hack then yes maybe loan him to someone who wants to do a bit more whether it be hunting or just isn't worried by a few 'quirks'. You don't seem to feel he's dangerous, from the sounds of it he could just need some more stimulating things to do!
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Apart from the spooking and occasionally tanking off for a little bit (in high spirits!), he is just very resistant and hard work. He was really great a couple of years ago and we had some lovely hacks, but he's got progressively worse, mainly in the school. So I agree, he needs something more to do. I wouldn't hunt him myself, but I would consider fun rides - will see if I can get some transport. We did do a couple of little shows and he did quite well - they had a fun obstacle course, which he really enjoyed.

I don't know a great deal about hunting, but what do other hunt horses do when they can no longer hunt but can still be ridden? (my other horses have been all rounders that have done a bit of hunting as opposed to purely being used for hunting)
 
I've worked with hunters most of my working life and believe me, there are several that won't hack alone or are spooky out of season but get them back in to start fittening work and they become the fabulous hunting machines they are! Ask them to do something alien and it's a 'can't, won't or don't know how' attitude! Not all are like that obviously but many of the serious hunters are, that's their job and they don't do diversification! A friend has borrowed my old horse simply to keep hers company out hacking; hers will not even go down the drive on its own but out hunting it will go anywhere, anytime and over or through anything at all! The best ones seem to be those that had other jobs before they became serious hunters so it is easier for those to come back to schooling and such.

I personally would be inclined either to start hunting myself, treating him like a hunter as in summer off lazing about, autumn and winter back hunting; or I'd try to place him in a good hunting home where he would be in his element and back doing the job he loves. If he is a good hunter and sound then he could be a valuable commodity!
 
I know someone from a different forum who bought a horse that had hunted. Like you she wanted to hack, have lessons, build her confidence and gain expericence. He was a lovely horse and fabulous when she tried him. When she got him home he became nappy when he wasn't geeting enough work.
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She lost her confidence and it became a vicious circle.
In the end she sold him to a novice man who wanted to hunt and hack and he's over the moon with him. As someone else said, some horses just don't like the quieter life.
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Don't think of it as giving up think about doing what's best for you and your horse.
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Might make decision easier?
 
Thanks for that - sounds very familiar!

My problem with parting with him (apart from the fact I actually like him and want to succeed with him) is that having never hunted him myself I can't say for definite that he is a good hunter. Surely he would have been more expensive and would have been sold within the hunt if he was? And frankly he's not good enough in any other way to sell on - he's not well schooled, isn't show material and has some annoying quirks. So I have to find a solution where I maintain ownership but where he is also happier. I think he does enjoy the quiet life and doesn't want to have to work any more!

Thanks for all the suggestions - I've got a few new ideas to try now!
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