HGre17
New User
Bare with me this might get a bit long and ranty...
TLDR; Appreciate I haven't had my mare for a long time but I have lots of issues getting in the way of me enjoying her varying from my physical health (fibromyalgia and fatigue issues suck), personal family and work related stress, stress relating to me thinking we're not bonding and I'm too much of a novice for her, and others getting on much better with her. I feel as though I can't offer her what she deserves which is a better rider going out and doing things with her whether that be showing, dressage, or whatever. I dread going to the yard as although she's lovely, we're just not clicking and my confidence is being knocked due to numerous bad rides.
Background on me: I'm technically a disabled rider, in my mid 20s and been doing 'horsey stuff' for around 9 years, riding for 8. Would class myself as a novice though as haven't really progressed much in the last 6 years. Wanted my own pony after loaning for a few years to improve my riding and horsemanship skills. Though lots of issues have been piling up in the last 4 months or so with my health fluctuating, being under pressure under work as we're a little understaffed due to people leaving in succession, anxiety over a family member's illness, and the general cost of living etc. But anyway-
I searched for a good few months for my first horse/pony and finally settled on a nice mare (believe she is a New Forest/Welsh) who I've had for about 5 months now. The first 2 months went pretty well considering she was in her past home for around 5 years- she was really good in the school and would come over to me in the field etc. We did a load of groundwork to establish trust and respect and enjoyed being around each other. Then spring properly kicked in and she had her first season and became a pain in the arse calling out all the time, being unfocused, strong on the ground and in the school, not listening to my aids, and running off (not bolting, just doing fast canters when I'd just ask for a trot in random directions). Previous owner said they'd never had an issue with her when in season. She'd be the exact same on the ground and in the school regardless of her season, time of the year, or length of time in between rides. So I thought maybe its just because its her first one of the year in a new place and she needs a little help staying focused and not getting stressy. Put her on a calming supplement (Oestress) with the loading dose for a week and then lowering onto a maintenance dose.
Seemed to settle for another 2 weeks before becoming unfocused and nappy again in the school so I thought maybe its her season again? This would repeat for a while with her having good and bad days for me in the school. She's really good hacking in company, doesn't nap, will follow or lead, not phased by traffic, generally a good girl. I try and hack as much as I can with others so she doesn't go sour in the school. So everything was going so-so until a week before our first show where she started acting up again- would refuse to trot circles, trying to canter where I wasn't asking, and trotting fast when asking for canter instead of going nicely like she used to. Had her back checked and she was absolutely fine. Had other people ride her and was told she went lovely for them and so tried again... same result. Thought she might just be having a few off days with me and tried not to dwell on it. Show comes around and she pissed about in the warm up arena, nearly crashing into a mirror (assume she thought it was another pony and ran up to say hello despite me doing all that I could to get her away from it before she smacked her nose right into it), again not doing simple circles properly, refusing to canter, and wanting to pay more attention to the other pony in the arena.
So that knocked me of course but tried to stay positive for the actual dressage test. She was going ok until I asked for a canter to which she actually did this time but was going far too fast, ignoring my half halts and careened over the arena markers. Twice. The judge was lovely and said go in and try again and pony was determined to not do this and cantered out of the markers again so obviously we had to withdraw. I was really upset and felt even worse when the previous owner messaged to ask how the show went to which I had to say she'd been naughty. Got the 'Oh she's never done that before' message and 'She loves dressage she's good at it and has been out loads with us so don't know why she acted that way'. If she was a green pony and had barely been out before I'd understand her acting this way but she's not.
So that's in the past and we've continued to have lessons etc but again, we have more bad than good sessions. We enjoy our hacks though (when I can find someone to go with) but for the past 3 or so weeks I've been dreading going to the yard. Riding doesn't seem as fun and enjoyable to me and I just don't think this is going to work out anymore. If I had the time, money, and mental/physical energy to keep at it for a few more months then I would but I realistically just don't see this happening. Nobody in my family is horsey and can't really offer much advice so they suggested asking on forums. Please don't be too critical, I've tried my best with her but can only do so much as my body allows me. I can only be so firm/strong and can only 'get after her' so much before my body just says NO!
TLDR; Appreciate I haven't had my mare for a long time but I have lots of issues getting in the way of me enjoying her varying from my physical health (fibromyalgia and fatigue issues suck), personal family and work related stress, stress relating to me thinking we're not bonding and I'm too much of a novice for her, and others getting on much better with her. I feel as though I can't offer her what she deserves which is a better rider going out and doing things with her whether that be showing, dressage, or whatever. I dread going to the yard as although she's lovely, we're just not clicking and my confidence is being knocked due to numerous bad rides.
Background on me: I'm technically a disabled rider, in my mid 20s and been doing 'horsey stuff' for around 9 years, riding for 8. Would class myself as a novice though as haven't really progressed much in the last 6 years. Wanted my own pony after loaning for a few years to improve my riding and horsemanship skills. Though lots of issues have been piling up in the last 4 months or so with my health fluctuating, being under pressure under work as we're a little understaffed due to people leaving in succession, anxiety over a family member's illness, and the general cost of living etc. But anyway-
I searched for a good few months for my first horse/pony and finally settled on a nice mare (believe she is a New Forest/Welsh) who I've had for about 5 months now. The first 2 months went pretty well considering she was in her past home for around 5 years- she was really good in the school and would come over to me in the field etc. We did a load of groundwork to establish trust and respect and enjoyed being around each other. Then spring properly kicked in and she had her first season and became a pain in the arse calling out all the time, being unfocused, strong on the ground and in the school, not listening to my aids, and running off (not bolting, just doing fast canters when I'd just ask for a trot in random directions). Previous owner said they'd never had an issue with her when in season. She'd be the exact same on the ground and in the school regardless of her season, time of the year, or length of time in between rides. So I thought maybe its just because its her first one of the year in a new place and she needs a little help staying focused and not getting stressy. Put her on a calming supplement (Oestress) with the loading dose for a week and then lowering onto a maintenance dose.
Seemed to settle for another 2 weeks before becoming unfocused and nappy again in the school so I thought maybe its her season again? This would repeat for a while with her having good and bad days for me in the school. She's really good hacking in company, doesn't nap, will follow or lead, not phased by traffic, generally a good girl. I try and hack as much as I can with others so she doesn't go sour in the school. So everything was going so-so until a week before our first show where she started acting up again- would refuse to trot circles, trying to canter where I wasn't asking, and trotting fast when asking for canter instead of going nicely like she used to. Had her back checked and she was absolutely fine. Had other people ride her and was told she went lovely for them and so tried again... same result. Thought she might just be having a few off days with me and tried not to dwell on it. Show comes around and she pissed about in the warm up arena, nearly crashing into a mirror (assume she thought it was another pony and ran up to say hello despite me doing all that I could to get her away from it before she smacked her nose right into it), again not doing simple circles properly, refusing to canter, and wanting to pay more attention to the other pony in the arena.
So that knocked me of course but tried to stay positive for the actual dressage test. She was going ok until I asked for a canter to which she actually did this time but was going far too fast, ignoring my half halts and careened over the arena markers. Twice. The judge was lovely and said go in and try again and pony was determined to not do this and cantered out of the markers again so obviously we had to withdraw. I was really upset and felt even worse when the previous owner messaged to ask how the show went to which I had to say she'd been naughty. Got the 'Oh she's never done that before' message and 'She loves dressage she's good at it and has been out loads with us so don't know why she acted that way'. If she was a green pony and had barely been out before I'd understand her acting this way but she's not.
So that's in the past and we've continued to have lessons etc but again, we have more bad than good sessions. We enjoy our hacks though (when I can find someone to go with) but for the past 3 or so weeks I've been dreading going to the yard. Riding doesn't seem as fun and enjoyable to me and I just don't think this is going to work out anymore. If I had the time, money, and mental/physical energy to keep at it for a few more months then I would but I realistically just don't see this happening. Nobody in my family is horsey and can't really offer much advice so they suggested asking on forums. Please don't be too critical, I've tried my best with her but can only do so much as my body allows me. I can only be so firm/strong and can only 'get after her' so much before my body just says NO!
