Is it time to say goodbye after the summer?

[Welly Boot]

We've been through so much in the last few years and my horse is very genuine and honest. BUT... had KS op last year across a number of vertebrae and of course diagnosed with ulcers so worked with vets to sort out all the issues and an excellent physio for the rehab plan. Rescoped clear.

Horse will hack but the minute you go back in the school, even without asking anything ... we have the same behaviour as before all the medical intervention and arsey with it.... so it's remembered pain (I think) ... displays nothing when you get on to go for a hack although we have very poor hacking but i don't think sponsored rides will be an option as what is the point if we cannot get going when we're on? Horse is sound, will back up, turn in tight circles etc

Horse hates the winter weather, preferring to be in but this is no quality of life for a horse previously who loved their work and has always been easy to do in every way. I've had my horse for 15 years and just have that niggling feeling that its time to let them go ... anyone else been in this situation? It's a huge financial expense, are they really happy as it's a lot of work and dedication for little to no fun. Insurance is maxed out and now exclusions in place... would you let your best friend go. I will not pump full of drugs just for the sake of it... (please be kind) but thank you for reading.

Vet is out this week, so will also discuss with them.

 

[94lunagem]

So sorry you are having to think about this decision.

I've lost two and on both occasions my gut told me it was time, and I tend to think once you have started to consider it as an option, you're already half way there.

I did have a vet tell me once though that they aren't in favour of the 'one last summer' concept, she said the horse is oblivious and its only the owner who is suffering counting down the days until its time. She said making the decision in the now is far kinder on the owner all round. I had always found this particular vet quite matter of fact, not terribly good at the bedside manners with the owners bit. I don't know how to explain it properly but it really stuck with me that she saw the owners feelings as just as valid as any immediate medical emergency (or not as the case may be).

Of course, if you choose to wait until after the summer and your own vet is in agreement, that's totally your choice and no judgement from me.

Be kind to yourself.

 

[Welly Boot]

So sorry you are having to think about this decision.

I've lost two and on both occasions my gut told me it was time, and I tend to think once you have started to consider it as an option, you're already half way there.

I did have a vet tell me once though that they aren't in favour of the 'one last summer' concept, she said the horse is oblivious and its only the owner who is suffering counting down the days until its time. She said making the decision in the now is far kinder on the owner all round. I had always found this particular vet quite matter of fact, not terribly good at the bedside manners with the owners bit. I don't know how to explain it properly but it really stuck with me that she saw the owners feelings as just as valid as any immediate medical emergency (or not as the case may be).

Of course, if you choose to wait until after the summer and your own vet is in agreement, that's totally your choice and no judgement from me.

Be kind to yourself.

Thank you so much. It's the worst part of having them. I've lost 2 to situations out of my control and I feel this is too, to a certain degree. Such a huge part of your life and we've had fun together (and a few frustrations!!)

 

[Ratface]

In my opinion, I think it is time to let your lovely horse go.
It's the last kindness we can give them.
Much love.

 

[SEL]

I think sometimes you just know enough is enough - and that's ok.

 

[tda]

A couple of years ago I decided that I wouldn't put one of my older mares thru another winter, it preyed on my mind all summer and I didn't enjoy the time.
As someone up thread says, once you've started thinking about it then it is nearly time.
It's your horse, you do what you feel is right x

 

[94lunagem]

it preyed on my mind all summer and I didn't enjoy the time.

You’ve described far better there what I was making a hash of trying to say further up.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

I don’t want to make this harder for you, but why would you wait til after summer? When it’s time, it’s time and I just remember thinking that mine would be harassed by horseflies, might be too hot, might get sunburnt (no chance in his huge uv flymask, but I was paranoid). If you think he’s uncomfortable, chat to your vet. Ultimately, it’s your horse, your decision. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know how hard it is.

 

[ycbm]

It's time when you begin to feel that it's time.
.

 

[View]

As many others have said, when you consider this option, it’s time.

Ensuring they have a dignified, peaceful end is the last act of kindness we give our beloved friends.

You wouldn’t be wrong to make the call now, nor would you be wrong to make the call in six weeks (so long as nothing else happens).

But I’m very pragmatic and don’t see any benefit in prolonging my misery. Every time I’ve made this decision, the deed has been done within 24 hours.

It hurts because we care so much.

 

[Carlosmum]

Totally agree that if you are thinking it, it is time to say goodbye. Just wanted to send hugs, I know once I made the final decision, life became a lot less stressful.

 

[Wishfilly]

If you've had him for 15 years, I'd say a) he's lucky to have had a caring owner for so long and b) he's obviously not a young horse. I think it would niggle to me that there is some pain somewhere, even if he is presenting as sound. I also think there's probably a limit to what I'd put an older horse through both in terms of further vet investigations and treatment and e.g. moving yards to one with better hacking and winter routine- especially if he's been on the same yard for a long time.

If you're happy he's sound in the field, and you'd rather wait until the change to winter routine, then I think that's fine, but if you have doubts as to whether he's in pain, summer and hot/humid weather can be just as bad for e.g. arthritis.

You have obviously tried so hard and given him every chance, and I'm sorry it seems like it's reaching the end of the road.

I'd also add that if his behaviour is dangerous, don't put yourself at risk because you feel you have to do xyz to rehab him or get him going again.

 

[Trouper]

I've had to do this twice with horses younger than yours and it is one of the hardest things to do. However, I am not sure what a few more weeks is going to achieve - except to prolong the agony for you. He will be blissfully unaware.

I knew I could not drag it out and made the decision as soon as we came to the end of the medical road - that is the time when you have to start thinking of yourself because you are the one who is going to have the harder time of it. So, I would say do what makes you feel the most comfortable, leaves you feeling that there is nothing more that you could have done and gives you peace of mind in the future.

You are not alone in finding this such a hard decision to make.

 

[Ruftys mum]

I have a 31 year old who has Cushings and arthritis. He was fine up to the end of last year when he was very poorly. The vet could not find out what was wrong. He Recovered eventually but lost a lot of weight. He has never put this back on. He seems happy enough but I don't know if he could get through a winter. I am now thinking of putting him to sleep at the end of the summer. Very hard decision when he is not unwell but in poor condition despite being fed 3 times a day with weight improving feed and on good grazing

 

[Fjord]

Nothing useful to add from me, but I'm sorry you are having to think about this. Sending virtual hugs.

 

[Fransurrey]

Sorry to read that you're facing this. I'm in a similar situation, but in my case I need to sort the horse left behind, as his neighbours are stabled at night, leaving him alone overnight. I was hoping my mare would be ok over summer, as her lameness eased off, but she seems quite stiff again and is already on bute. Not easy, is it?

 

[Welly Boot]

Sorry to read that you're facing this. I'm in a similar situation, but in my case I need to sort the horse left behind, as his neighbours are stabled at night, leaving him alone overnight. I was hoping my mare would be ok over summer, as her lameness eased off, but she seems quite stiff again and is already on bute. Not easy, is it?

It's really not. Sending lots of hugs x

 

[Welly Boot]

Thank you everyone - am a little overwhelmed by your kind words and understanding.

 

[lauragreen85]

We've been through so much in the last few years and my horse is very genuine and honest. BUT... had KS op last year across a number of vertebrae and of course diagnosed with ulcers so worked with vets to sort out all the issues and an excellent physio for the rehab plan. Rescoped clear.

Horse will hack but the minute you go back in the school, even without asking anything ... we have the same behaviour as before all the medical intervention and arsey with it.... so it's remembered pain (I think) ... displays nothing when you get on to go for a hack although we have very poor hacking but i don't think sponsored rides will be an option as what is the point if we cannot get going when we're on? Horse is sound, will back up, turn in tight circles etc

Horse hates the winter weather, preferring to be in but this is no quality of life for a horse previously who loved their work and has always been easy to do in every way. I've had my horse for 15 years and just have that niggling feeling that its time to let them go ... anyone else been in this situation? It's a huge financial expense, are they really happy as it's a lot of work and dedication for little to no fun. Insurance is maxed out and now exclusions in place... would you let your best friend go. I will not pump full of drugs just for the sake of it... (please be kind) but thank you for reading.

Vet is out this week, so will also discuss with them.

Its a tough one but sounds like the right decision