Is it time to say goodbye?

Noodlejaffa

Noodlejaffa

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www.ailsamactaggart.co.uk
One of my horses is a 27 yr old ID x mare, who I've had for 20 years. She's been retired for quite some time, and has never had any health problems to speak of. However, this summer she had a serious bout of sinusitus, but recovered and happily carried on.

The last six weeks or so, she seems to have started looking really old (only way I can describe it). She's drinking more and on close inspection while grooming her the last few days, she seems to be covered in scabs and irritations. She's a stiff lady and suffers when it's a bit damp and cold. I know that most of her teeth are as smooth as glass, as we had a good look at them when we were at the surgery for her sinusitus, but she still munches through her breakfast and dinner(all be it sloppy!).

Am I wrong to think that perhaps her time is coming. It's horrible thinking about making the decision, but I don't want to leave it until she's in pain and agony. It doesn't seem fair on her after all the happy years she's given me.
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Hmmmm, is she dropping weight? Is she happy in herself? Id probably be tempted to let her have one more summer and say goodbye before the start of next winter.
 
Do you have any horsey friends who could look at her and give you an honest opinion? It is so hard when you're attached to them to make an objective decision....whereas a horsey friend might be able to tell you when it's time?
S
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We said goodbye to our old boy about 6 weeks ago - before it got really cold (he was 30)... He had suddenly started looking very old, stiff and just not happy anymore.

But - like Shilasdair suggested above - we got opinions from others first. all agreed it was time.

Is really hard to make that kind of decision alone xx
 
I agree with Shilasdair, get a few horsey people to look at her and give their honest opinions.... but what a kind considerate owner you must be to be going down this route objectively now instead of when she is in pain or something like that....
 
I always think the horse will tell you when he/she has had enough. Even though your mare is still eating well and not losing weight it does sound that this will be her last winter if she is stiff and feeling the cold. I don't envy you having to make this decision - one of mine is 26 so I have this to come - but remember it is better a day early than a day late. She's a lucky mare to have stayed with you for 20 years. x
 
This is the hardest decsion you will ever have to make. I know it was for me. I lost my "old" girl almost 3 1/2 years ago at 24 after 20 happy years togther. She went downhill rapidly in 3 weeks, losing weight & just looking very tired. the light just went out of her eyes. It was June & i was desperate for her to have "Just one more summer", but i had to clip her as she had not dropped her coat, and when i put her back out for a roll she took 6 or 7 attempts to get down. I knew then it was time. I totally agree with the advice to get a friend to look for you - it does make it easier. Also, if you can afford it a good vet will give you an honest opinion. Mine did & made the whole process so much easier, In fact his comment was he wished more of his owners were brave enough to call it a day sooner rather than later, he see's too many horses suffering because their owners cannot bear to part with them & want them to have "just one more summer".
Horses do tell you, it's wired I know, but she certainly did.
It's never easy & i'm sat her now with tears down my face!!
Be Brave.
xxx
 
If It Should Be....

If it should be that I grow weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand;
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years -
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come, so let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend
And please stay with me until the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve - it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.
 
Me too. Just had a little cry over my keyboard - had my old dog PTS 2 months ago and still sometimes can't help wondering if I did the right thing
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It's not an easy decision .
 
Ailsa, I think you know in your heart if you are asking everyone else. It is the most awful thing but it is one of the kindest things you could ever do.
I had to make the decision myself last autumn, but to be honest, my old mare made the decision for me, she just didn't seem to enjoy life anymore and it was then that I knew I couldn't put her through another winter.........................
 
We had to make that decision for Nelly at the end of october, having got her to 33 and having her for 23 years. She had started to look old and we had huge trouble keeping weight on her. We were also worried about her bringing in heavy wet rugs as she found this a struggle. What made the decision for us was the idea of those stiff old legs not getting her into the stable safely in icey conditions in January/February and her having to stay down until the knackerman or the vet could get there. We couldn't let that happen to a friend. I'm sure that you will make the right decision.
 
I think you are a lovely owner to be keeping her as long as you can but not just for your own sake, for hers too, which means knowing when the time is right.

Its completely heartbreaking but what more can we ask for than that they have had a long and happy life and free from pain. Its us that suffer left behind. I always remember a quote I think it was Scottish author who said that when people rail about why animals live so much shorter lives than humans, he thought it was because if they lived longer, the pain at losing them would be unbearable. I think he understood!

Good wishes whatever you decide for this winter, spring and summer
 
We lost our little old man last week and the pain is still unbearable. He was 35 and we’d had him his whole life, he was ill and went down hill rapidly the vet told us it was the best thing to do and whilst really hard I know we wouldn’t have seen him suffer another minute.

This is what we got back with him from the crematorium and it was beautiful although did tell us to wait before reading it.

When I am gone release me, let me go
I have so many things to see and do
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears
Be happy that we had so many years

I gave you love and you can only guess
How much you gave me of happiness
I thank you for the love you have shown
But now it’s time I travelled alone


So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
It’s only for a while we part
So bless the memories in your heart

I won’t be far away, for life goes on
Though you can’t see me or touch me, I’ll be near
And if you listen with your heart you’ll hear
All my love around you soft and clear

And then when you must come this way alone
I’ll be there to greet you with a smile and a
‘Welcome home’

This actually really helped me.
 
I know we are talking about old ponies/horses here, but what if you've got a pony like me who has been 4/10 lame for 8 months with suspensory ligament damage. He has had an operation; been box rested; small paddock rested, all to no avail. He goes back to the vets in Jan. I'm so down at the moment, all I think about is the vet saying there is nothing else we can do. I already have two other ponies, a companion shetland and my daughters NF who we've had for a long time. Financially i couldn't keep another horse that can't be ridden.
What do other people do in these circumstances. I always pressumed he would be with me for life as long as he was healthy and pain free.
 
All I would say is that it's a long way until Summer; Winter is already looking harsh. As and when she's ready to go, she won't mind what time of year it is.

You've been very lucky to have her for so long so don't put yourself into a position where you may have regrets.

I don't envy you.
 
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