is it to soon....?

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stacey_lou

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Ok as you all know I lost my little man last Wednesday although it still hasnt sunk in yet.

My friends keep telling me I should get a new horse obviously not to replace my boy as nothing or no one ever will but just to divert my intrests else where. I am toying with the Idea as I know I would like another horse yet at the same time I feel incredibly guilty about it.
I have even been looking on horse sale web sites and thinking about one or 2 and that makes me feel even more guilty as its barley been a week but I think id rather have something else to divert all my attention to now before it really kicks in that my baby isnt coming back.
Am I being stupid or not? What would you all do?
 
I would ask people to stop talking to me about it, and wait until a little voice inside told me it was time. If they persisted on the subject I would cut them off, saying it was too upsetting to discuss, and walk away. I think your friends are a bit lacking in tact.
Very sorry to hear about your little man, just give yourself the time you need. x
 
Thats the thing I dont know how much time I do need if that makes sense. the first 2 days I couldnt stop crying and now I dont know If I truely believe it or not.Am just a little confussed atm.I do want another horse I just dunno when or what. I dont want to leave it to long and I dont want to get one to soon. I think am a little lost.
 
No. you're not being stupid. But getting another horse after losing your little man does not mean you're going to forget all about him. He'll ALWAYS be there, and you mustn't feel guilty.
I have always got another dog, pretty soon after losing one of my old friends, as I found it helped me cope with the loss, but it CERTAINLY didn't replace them in any way.
I have a 27 yr old TB and I know sooner rather than later I will have to say goodbye. I am fortunate in as much as I have another younger horse too, but if I didn't I would get another pretty soon after. As I said it helps me cope with the loss. You'll always love your other horse. They will always be part of you, never far away. I still shed tears over the first horse I ever owned and lost 35 years ago, so they are always there. Please don't feel guilty if you do decide to get another.
Its just another life to love and cherish, like you did before. They are all special.
Hope this has helped you. I know how hard it is to lose a horse. x
 
I don't think its too soon. If you don't start moving on you're just going to be thinking about it all the time as you aren't doing horsey things. Don't feel guilty as you are still upset and miss him, but you just don't want to be wallowing for weeks and weeks.
 
I know exactly how you feel, I lost my boy in January and hadn't a clue what I should do next, I felt lost. Luckily I have been able to take ride my stepmother's horse which has given me breathing space. I 'm staring to feel now that I am ready to get my next horse. No one can tell you when you will be ready, everyone is different, sorry I can't give you a more definitive answer and so sorry that you lost your horse x x
 
Thank you that does make more sense and It does help.
I have looked at a few horses and I just want something new to love and cuddle.I will always love and miss my little man and I just want him and everyone else to know that and not to judge me if and when I get a new horse.
Maybe it will help I suppose we always did get a new dog when ours had to be PTS for one reason or another.
Thanks x
 
I'd wait a little while, just until your head is clear. I lost my horse in the august just before i was due to move and as soon as i had i bought another, it was the biggest mistake of my life as he tried to kill me on several occasions. I was just so desperate to fill the void, that when i went looking i couldnt see any faults in any of the horses, my judgement was clouded. Had i waited just a couple of months i could have saved my self a lot of injuries, heartache and money. You'll know when the time is right for you, dont let anyone else make the decision for you. Hope it all works out ok for you.
 
I think i'd wait a bit longer till your heads a bit clearer. When i lost my horse a few years ago i hated the one that was left behind, now i love him more than anything in the world but i was just so upset and hurt i didn't know what i wanted
 
Of course your not being silly...silly lol sorry just trying to cheer you up, seriously though, it's totally natural to feel some guilty when viewing other horses but that just shows how much you loved your other horse, so it not a bad feeling to feel, if you see what I mean.

By all means don't rush into things, like others have said you need to make the decision and view other horses when your thinking straight and ready to move on but I do think and have always said it to others, having another horse does help speed the healing process.

Of course your wanting to replace your other horse, every horse is different and they all have their individual qualities and personalities and if you feel ready to give another horse what you gave your other one. a loving home, friendship and having lots of fun together then go for it, the sooner your back in the saddle and kept busy, the better.

Nothing worse than looking at an empty stable, trust me.

Just take your time so you know exactly what you want then you can look back at your new horse and smile proudly and know you made the right decision and still cling on to all those memories of your other one, you never forget them, even years on, their still always with you.
smile.gif
 
It's what feels right for you. A few years back my friends pony got kicked in the field had had to be pts, her dad arranged for the YO to find her another horse straight away and she arrived about 10 days after pony was kicked. This was right for my friend, however when this horse fell and broke it's neck two months after having her (such awful luck) my friend rode all of our horses for a few months before her dad purchased number 3. She felt she wanterd to ride and enjoy it without the commitment, just incase she decided she couldn't take on another horse. Her dad did buy number 3 but bit was a good 3 or 4 months- happy to say number 3 is still going strong about 6 years on.xxx
 
Could you ride a friend's horse to keep you busy? I know it's hard since you probably are sitting around twiddling your thumbs. If you were closer you could come and play with Monty! Maybe you could help out with someone else's horse for a while just to keep busy and then decide if you are ready to get a new ned.
 
yes i have a spare who is getting fatter by the day, so if you ever want abit of a journey/day out just let me know.

as everyone has said its your decision dont let anyone influence you in rushing into something or not.

sending you lots of (((((((hugs))))))))) in this difficult time

(ps we even have a campsite for a few days stay lol)
 
Aww bless thank you for everyone kind offers to come a see there neds. very greatfully recieved.
I think I just need my routein back and I need to get back and get back into trainning.
And I also think in answering to everyones replies I think I have just answered my own questions lol
I think I was more worried about what ppl would say and think as to what I actually felt.
My boy Chance wouldnt want me moaping about and not doing anything. He was always willing to be strong for me all the time maybe I should be strong for him and just get on with it.! Some off him will be in a little urn pendant around my neck anyway so hell still go places with me.
Aww thanks guys,
He should be home soon, his ashes are due either today or tomorrow.
And am off on holiday tomorrow so maybe when am back ill see whats about.
 
Have a good holiday.
What I meant was, as long as you are still feeling confused and upset it's the wrong time to make a decision. You could easily rush in and get the wrong horse, and if you aren't ready for a new horse you could find it hard to get "bonded" with it. I really think that you will know when you're ready, just don't try to rush it.
x
 
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