Is it too late...

[Steph33]

Hi,
I'm completely new to this whole world... and been quite nervous about posting so please bear with me if I waffle slightly!!
This is my story and question-
I'm 25 years old. When I was 15 I did work experience in a stables that was also a kennels and cattery, I loved EVERY minute of it and decided I wanted to be a vet! Well it turned out I wasn't really good enough at sciences to be a vet, and I have always been encouraged to go into acedemic work... I never had pets growing up as my Dad has allergies, and always begged for riding lessons but my parents couldn't afford them, which is fair enough.
I've just finished a degree in psychology, and I've been accepted on to a Social Work Masters to start in Sept. I'm by no means great at psychology, average at best despite my efforts.
A few weeks ago I got very annoyed at myself as I have been so busy studying all the time and trying to please other people that I have never let myself have a hobby. So I impulsively booked myself a riding lessson. I thought I would be dreadful. When I mounted the horse I felt so happy and confident, I loved every minute of my lesson. My instructor was great and said that she was pleased with me and couldn't believe I hadn't ridden before (I'm not that niave, I'm sure they said that to alot of people to keep them coming back!!)
Anyway on the way home I couldn't stop thinking about my work experience all those years ago, and about how great I felt after my lesson. I have a health condition (nothing serious) but I felt healthier than I have in years after that lesson. As I'm right at the end of my degree I've not been working for the past 2 months so I'm now looking for employment.
I delicately broached the subject to my partner about how I would love to work in a stable and he knocked me right down. He said I'm too old now... there are plenty of younger girls who will work for less or for free as they don't have mortgages etc and on top of that I have zero experience. My partner's family all ride and he did as a child.
I'm not stupid, I know I may be a little old to get into this game but I didn't have the upbringing that he did where I was able to experience riding, and only now I can pay for it myself have I been able to do it.
I just don't know how long I can deny myself something that I know I enjoy. If I'm too old then I have no choice, but I wondered what other people thought?
I was considering getting in touch with some stables in the area. I could offer my services as Yard Assistant as voluntary for a week so they could give me some training before they have to pay me. I know that the school I have lessons as offer the BHS training up to stage 3 and eventually this is what I would like to start doing. As I have a mortgage I can't afford to work for free permanently, or even for apprenticeship wages. But I can afford to work for minium wage. Is this even possible? Would anyone take me on?? I'm more than happy to start right at the bottom. As the saying goes its better to be at the bottom of a ladder you want to be on than in the middle of one that you don't!!
Any thoughts much appreciated... I don't know anyone that rides except for my partners family so I don't really have anyone to chat to about it. Bit embarrassed about speaking to my instructor about it as I'm not sure any of this is even possible.
Thank you so much for reading
x

 

[9tails]

Working with horses, unless at the top level, doesn't pay. Even minimum wage would be a push and your partner is right in one aspect that there are plenty of younger people falling over themselves to get that sort of work. I'd suggest making your riding lesson a weekly occurrence and see whether you can spend more time at the school around horses. Get as much riding and handling experience as you can, then look for someone who wants to share. But I would suggest you stick to the day job, most of us don't work with horses in order to be able to afford them.

 

[RunRunReindeer]

I loved horses as a child but didn't have much opportunity to ride, somehow I forgot about them in my later teens and twenties with school, college, work etc - until my first proper riding lesson in my thirties rekindled my passion with a vengeance! I started taking lessons once or twice a week, but wanted more, so after having similar doubts to yourself eventually bit the bullet and asked the riding school (also livery yard) owner if I could help out on Saturday mornings - although I didn't get paid it was invaluable experience.
Unfortunately I couldn't carry on as long as I would have liked due to relocating, but inspired by my 'oldest stable girl in town' idea, a friend did the same and has progressed helping out in lessons which again is great practical experience, and is 'paid' in lessons and reduced livery fees (has recently bought her own horse).
NB The yard in question was an approved BHS training centre so everything done and taught in the 'correct' BHS way, which you will need to know if you go for any BHS exams.
You only live one - go for it. Don't let nerves, embarrassment, other people's negativity put you off. Good luck

 

[MerrySherryRider]

Certainly not to old but the pay is low which is why it appeals to younger people.
Better to use your qualifications to get a well paid job and do a few hours at a yard (paid or unpaid, or in exchange for lessons).

Have you thought about going on a trekking holiday ? Great fun and you'll learn loads.

 

[Steph33]

Thank you for your replies
So perhaps I should ask at the riding centre to maybe volunteer a morning/afternoon a week? Right now I have the time while finishing my exams and the fresh air will probably help me to study better!!
I have looked at trekking holidays actually!! But this is going to sound really sad but I have no one to go with!! My partner was kind of forced in to riding when he was young so really isn't interested now and none of my friends have ever ridden.
I am having lessons once a week at the moment... I plan to increase it to twice a week soon. Currently my muscles are crippling me for days after a lesson, would it help if I rode twice a week, or should I increase my lessons to twice a week once my muscles get used to it a little more.
Thanks so much for advice, it's good to know it's not a complete dead end and hopefully I will be able to help out somewhere
x

 

[Camel]

Good for you

I would (if I were in your position) increase your lessons to 2 per week and a hack if you can afford it, you don't mention money so I'm presuming its not a problem, this should give you enough time at the RS to get friendly with people and maybe offer to help out, lead kids on walkouts etc ... this will give you a really good insight into (one aspect of) the horsey world.

Carry on with your SW degree and keep riding as a hobby

xx

 

[Steph33]

Thanks Christmas Camel
I'm by no means rich but I'm not really one for going clubbing etc like many students do so I see my riding lessons as the money that others spend on going out drinking... if that makes sense. I can afford two lessons a week at the moment.
The riding school offers group Lead rein lessons, would these be useful? I guess I just want to expand my knowledge as much as possible. As much as I am trying to take things in from reading forums, alot of it is still in a different language for me!! Thankfully my instructor is really helpful and answers all my daft questions
x

 

[Cinnamontoast]

You might want to work towards getting a share eventually so you have a day to look after/ride a particular horse weekly. Working in a stables is dire money and while it's ok in decent weather once or twice a week, doing it through the winter, every day, carrying massively heavy water buckets because all the taps are frozen, mucking out ten stables and hoicking bales of hay becomes very tedious very quickly!

The more you ride, the better your muscles will cope. I found lead rein boring when I was learning. Do try to volunteer somewhere (Riding for the disabled, RDA) always like volunteers to lead the horses, muck out etc once you know what you're doing. Ask your current stables if you can help out. You'll learn loads.

 

[ClaretCarrot]

You're not too old at all to gain experience, but getting paid peanuts for working long hours in some horrific weather conditions isn't fun! Keep it as a hobby. I agree with the horse riding holiday idea. You learn loads, have an amazing time and meet fellow enthusiasts. Plenty of people go on their own too. Make sure it's one where you are expected to get the horses ready etc. Some places just hand you the horse tacked and ready. Horse lovers don't mind lots of questions from an enthuastic learner as its just another excuse to talk horses

 

[zigzag]

Having worked with horses professionally for 20 odd years, I would say don't do it The money is crap and what would you do 5 years down the line if you want to get married and start a family. It be far better for you to have a "normal" job, learn to ride by having a few lessons a week and maybe getting your own horse.

I would go on a riding holiday (I never did as never could afford it) my friend would go on one every year on her own, anywhere from Scotland to Cuba! she had a fab time always made friends

 

[Tammytoo]

If you enjoy riding, don't work with horses! The pay is very poor and you will never be able to afford your own horse. I tried working with horses when I left college and although I was told I could keep my own horse there and just pay for feed and bedding, in reality I never had time or was too tired to ride him and he ended up being turned out 24/7 as a companion.

I left, got a "proper" job and had so much more fun with my horse doing a bit of everything when and where I wanted. Never regretted leaving.

 

[EllenJay]

Thank you for your replies

I have looked at trekking holidays actually!! But this is going to sound really sad but I have no one to go with!! My partner was kind of forced in to riding when he was young so really isn't interested now and none of my friends have ever ridden.

I have been on trekking holidays - and never went with anyone. Go, enjoy yourself.

Work towards getting more confident and get a share horse, building up to buying your own. I do know someone who had owned her own horse for years and after being made redundant from her job went into "working with horses" and absolutely hated it. Her words were "this is ruining my hobby".

If you really, really want to work with horses, you are definitely not too old to start - but it isn't glamourous

 

[YorksG]

A social worker of many years experience here. I have ridden since I was 7 years old and had horses since I was 15. Sister and I bought our house and small holding twenty years ago, as it was getting difficult to keep four on livery. The horses are a great way of de-stressing after work ( I am an AMPH), I very much doubt that I could afford my current lifestyle on a grooms wage, and while SW is not well paid when compared with jobs with equivalent training in the private sector, it is better paid than stable work.

 

[Pippity]

I've never been on a riding holiday, but I've been on a few other 'small group' type holidays - travelling through the middle east, a couple of tall ship sailing trips - and not knowing anyone has never been an issue. By the end of the holiday, you're usually fast friends, swear blind you'll keep in touch, and then exchange an email or two before never speaking again.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Would your OH accompany you on a riding holiday if you went somewhere abroad where he has never been before, so combining sight-seeing with riding?

I would definitely say keep horses as a hobby - they are a brilliant way of de-stressing after a hard day at work. and you will struggle to buy your own if your do stable work for living, even supposing you would want to own a horse after working with them all day.

I know a police officer who had his own horses and joined the mounted branch - he only stayed in the MB for a few years and then went back to traffic, saying that he wasn't enjoying his own horses, after spending all day with horses.

 

[JulesRules]

I have a similar story to you in that I did a bit of riding as kid, but never as much as I would have liked due to finances and other activities.

I moved back to the midlands when I was about 26 and decided to take riding lessons. I had group lessons two or three times a week and made some great friends as a result (we have been on quite a few riding holidays together). I also volunteered at the riding school in return for extra lessons for a while. After the management at the riding school changed my friend and I decided to look for share horses.

13 years on, the friend from riding school and I have our own horses stabled together ( the mares are also the best of friends although mine does boss hers about a bit) and we both have our own trailers to go out and about. We are still friends with all our old riding school buddies but just keep our horses and riding outside of work to relax after a bad day in the office ( in my case) or in the kitchen ( my friend)

 

[HollyWoozle]

On the riding holiday subject... I sell them and we get LOADS of single travelling ladies! They make up a huge proportion of our clientele and it's a great way to make new friends. Everyone has something in common, something to talk about. Lots of people go on trips and makes friends for life, travelling together on horsey adventures every year.

Some companies like us also offer escorted riding holidays where you can join someone from the company on a trip. That's really nice too as you can email back and forth before you go to get to know each other a bit. We also try to match up single travellers when possible.

Working with horses can be very rewarding but is often hard going and I wouldn't fancy it myself (I'm office-based so get horsey adventures but are not working directly with horses every day, other than my own!). Personally, I think it's better to have another job and to keep horses as a hobby but of course it depends on the person. Good luck with whatever you decide and don't be disheartened by other people's comments. At least keep on with the riding lessons!

 

[kc100]

Your boyfriend is 100% right on this one, I know working with horses seems fun but there is no money in it and it takes all the fun out of horses. When you are mucking out 10 horses per day, sweeping yards, filling haynets, poo picking....for no money, it really wears you down and actually takes the fun out of horses. The chances of you getting to do any riding whilst working with horses is pretty slim, so you are basically doing heavy manual labour for minimum wage, and not much hope of your pay going up in the future!

The best thing you can do if you enjoy horse riding is to aim one day to own your own horse, and if you worked with horses there would be no way you could afford your own. So if you finish your degree and get a job in your chosen field, you can work towards your goal of buying a horse of your own, and you will enjoy it so much more than working with horses.

Have as many riding lessons as you can, 2 per week will be great and try and get involved as much as you can at the yard. Some riding schools offer horse management or stable management classes as well as riding classes, so you get to learn how to look after horses too. One day when you feel like you are a good rider and have learnt a good amount from your riding school (when you can walk, trot and canter, when you can pop over a few jumps, and when you are comfortable hacking) then start to look for a horse to share. I share a horse, I cant afford my own so I have him 4 days per week and we compete at dressage. It is the ideal way to move on from riding schools, you get to ride a more advanced horse than a riding school horse and you get to care for the horse as if it were your own, without all the costs that go with horse ownership. Hopefully one day when I can afford it I'll buy my own, but for now I love sharing and have the best horse (and owner!) so I'm very happy.

I work at a dressage yard on weekends for extra cash, and I must tell you its no fun. I work full time during the week, but at the moment I'm trying to pay off Uni debts so I decided to get a part time job and it ended up being with horses - and it is truly hard work. I work 7 days a week now, 2 days at the weekends with the horses and I am up at 6am, mucking out anywhere between 7 and 15 horses, feeding, haying, skipping out, grooming....its hard graft for very little money. The only reason I'm doing it is for extra cash, I am not particularly enjoying it and there definitely is not future career potential there!

By all means get some experience looking after horses, see if you can do a stable management qualification or BHS qualification, but dont plan on horses being your future career. You will have no money and wont enjoy it half as much as you enjoy riding! Better to get a decent job and once you have had plenty of riding lessons look at buying your own

 

[horsesatemymoney]

Certainly don't work with horses. I was keen on the idea until I did work experience then realised it was much work for no cash. Much better tokeep them as a hobby.

 

[Goldenstar]

You are not to old to work with horses if that's what you choose to do both my grooms are in their thirties and work free lance and earn a reasonable wage for around here.
However much better acquire a hobby go for lessons regularily and see where you get.
However one of my grooms is extremely clever she had a " proper " job now she does horses she is one of the happiest most contented people I have ever met, so it can be a good choice in some circunmtances .
In life you should follow your dreams but it's just refining in your mind what your dreams are.

 

[Steph33]

Thank you for all your lovely replies
I'm going to keep going with my lessons for now, I know that they hold riding for the disabled lessons there so I hope to volunteer to help with that. I have lots of experience with children with disabilities so once I have more experience with the horses I may be of use to them. It's also good for my CV for any job really I guess.
I didn't realise people went on riding holidays on their own!! I would be nervous, I'm a little shy like that. Think I'd be fine once I got there, but I'd be terrified that I would get there and everyone would be in couples!! Really tried with my partner but seeing as I'm already dragging him to Disney World he's put his foot down on this one!!
Again, thanks for the replies it's been really helpful
XX

 

[HollyWoozle]

I didn't realise people went on riding holidays on their own!! I would be nervous, I'm a little shy like that. Think I'd be fine once I got there, but I'd be terrified that I would get there and everyone would be in couples!! Really tried with my partner but seeing as I'm already dragging him to Disney World he's put his foot down on this one!!
Again, thanks for the replies it's been really helpful
XX

If you look to book a riding holiday, feel free to ask about the other riders in the group. They can tell you if there are other single travellers and can direct you towards a trip where you wouldn't feel left out.

 

[Morgan123]

If you help out at the yard (and maybe join a local riding club?) you mgiht make horsey friends, who would go on holiday with you. Most riding clubs also run summer camps, whihc is a bit like a holiday - you take a horse and have lots of lessons and fun rides.

Most riding clubs assume you have your own horse, but there are lots of things you can do to help out (for example, helping at competitions and things), and you will make lots of friends and learn lots. It can be really fun if it's a nice club. Then maybe one day you could share or have your own horse? There are lots of people who would share their horse a few days a week, even if you are a novice - you just hvae to keep looking (and keep having lessons).

I do agree with everyone else - working with horses is HARRRRDDDD and if you haven't been around them a lot, you really don't know what you are letting yourself in for. Get a good job, and keep the horses as a hobby while you learn. Then if in a year or two, you decide you defintiely want to learn - well then you'll have lots of skills behind you and a good idea of what's involved. You won't be too old - it's knowledge more than age that is the factor!

It's great that you hvae a good riding school to learn at, and I would definitely recommend volunteering as much as you can - another great way to learn (and maybe to fund your lessons too!).

 

[hnmisty]

With regards to a trekking holiday, I went here two years ago for a working holiday http://www.highlandsunbridled.co.uk/. I did it for my Gold D of E, and got it to count for some "personal development plan" rubbish for my PhD!

It was really good value, and they were lovely people. I plan on returning some time soon! On the working holiday, you stay in their house, ride every day, muck out and poo pick, groom some ponies, help tack up any horses they need for any treks that are going out that day.

I really wouldn't worry about going on your own- I went there on my own. There were two other people also there on the working holiday, and we had a great laugh! None of my friends believe me when I'm say I'm shy because I chat away with them, but with new people I am quiet! I was a bit worried that it would be a bit awkward, but they really are absolutely lovely people, made me feel right at home!

I think kc100 has spoken true words of wisdom! By all means, take some BHS stages, but I would keep it as a hobby- and as said, then you could afford to have your own!

 

[Steph33]

Thanks so much for that website that's really good value for the working holiday!! and sounds great!! I might consider that for some time later this year. The ones I had been looking at had been much more expensive.
I'm going to start two lessons a week soon and try and start chatting to people at the riding school. I am pretty shy and they all seem like they are good friends already so that always makes me a little nervous. But they are all lovely, so I'm going to try and make some friends there
x

With regards to a trekking holiday, I went here two years ago for a working holiday http://www.highlandsunbridled.co.uk/. I did it for my Gold D of E, and got it to count for some "personal development plan" rubbish for my PhD!

It was really good value, and they were lovely people. I plan on returning some time soon! On the working holiday, you stay in their house, ride every day, muck out and poo pick, groom some ponies, help tack up any horses they need for any treks that are going out that day.

I really wouldn't worry about going on your own- I went there on my own. There were two other people also there on the working holiday, and we had a great laugh! None of my friends believe me when I'm say I'm shy because I chat away with them, but with new people I am quiet! I was a bit worried that it would be a bit awkward, but they really are absolutely lovely people, made me feel right at home!

I think kc100 has spoken true words of wisdom! By all means, take some BHS stages, but I would keep it as a hobby- and as said, then you could afford to have your own!

 

[Steph33]

Would just like to share a lovely experience I had at the riding school today. My instructor was off so I had a younger girl instructing me today. I felt less nervous about chatting away to her and I told her I really wanted more experience around horses. She told me that they run a course on Wednesday nights for 8 weeks which is the type of stuff you need to know for the BHS stage 1. And its free!! And I'll get more riding experience then as part of this course without paying more. It starts in around 4 weeks so I'm definitely going to do that.
What has been lovely is that being quite a nervous person, going in for my first lesson a few weeks ago was really daunting. When I told my parents I was going to start riding they weren't impressed and my dad actually said "people like us don't go horseriding". I appreciate that it is slightly more expensive than other hobbies, but I've not experienced anything other than people being lovely, and I've never felt like anyone has looked down at me or made me feel stupid for not knowning anything, or not having any of my own stuff.
Just wanted to share

 

[Morgan123]

It's great that you have had such a good experience so far. It's a common misconception that your dad has that only rich people ride! The VAST majority of people I know who ride actually scrimp and save to pay for their horses, myself included. So certainly don’t worry about that!!! I might have some savings or own a house if I didn't have horses, but BBC’s class calculator definitely puts me as second from bottom ;-).

It sounds like your yard is really excellent. Not all riding schools are so good, so make the most of it!

 

[Gentle_Warrior]

I had been riding since the age of 3 and decided at 25 to work with horses. It was brilliant fun and I learnt a lot, but I had a mortgage and a husband ...... I had to give it up. The romance of owning and working with your horse is not actually as great as it sounds. I found that although the horse was at the same yard, I very rarely rode as after a long day dealing with other horses I had little inclination. Since going back to office work and moving the horse closer to home and work, I can safely say I love horses. It was not as if I done the yard work in the easy months either, winter, 10 boxes to muck out, responsible for 10 directly, yard of 40, BHS riding school and rarely got staff lessons. Hard work.

The yard I am now at is RDA, and I would highly recommend volunteering at one, they are always grateful of the help and you will majority of the time get offered a free ride as payment. Ours is wicked. My horse did work for them for a while until I retired him.

got very fit from it though !!

Where are you based ?

 

[Steph33]

I'm on the Wirral But I have my own car so I can get around really easily.
I have another lesson on Thurs so I'm going to ask about RDA, I have experience with children/adults with physical and psychological disabilities so I hope they will find me slightly useful!
I was on Facebook looking at livery yards in my area and one close to me was asking for weekend staff. I sent a message not thinking I would hear back. I did explain that I have no experience but I'm a quick learner etc etc and she's going to give me a chance It's minimum wage which I know everyone has said it's crap pay but right now with only a psychology degree, most jobs I'm looking at are minimum wage if I decide not to do my Masters.
I was recently offered a job working with autistic adults after an interview, they had never mentioned the salary throughout the whole process and I wasn't going to ask until I was offered a position. They were very clear in the interview that part of the job would involve being physically assaulted on a regular basis, looking after people who are incontinent, and working night shifts (all these things I was prepared to do for the experience that it would give me) However the salary worked out so that it was 1p over minimum wage. Hats off to those who do it, but I wasn't prepared to work night shifts for that, as my Dad has done it for years and I have seen how it has affected his health.
So right now a weekend job at a livery yard is win win for me. I'm still finishing off my degree (1 exam to go) so it's extra pocket money, great experience, and time around horses for me!!! Going to see her and meet the horses on Wed so I'm very excited
xx

 

[FestiveFuzz]

Congrats on the weekend job! I spent from the age of 12 working at various yards for "pocket money" and have to say that the experience I gained from it was invaluable, but by my late teens it just wasn't feasible to continue working with horses as the pay was agricultural minimum wage which was below the standard minimum wage (not sure what it's like now as I've been out of the loop for so long!) and I had uni and a horse on to pay for!

I'm definitely so glad I went back to having horses as a hobby though as like others have said working with them really does take the fun out of it, especially when you're breaking ice off the top of water buckets with your hands on a cold and drizzly day!