Is there a time to say "I know best"?

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sprite1978

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I have had my current horse for 3 years, and he can be difficult at times to soften and carry himself. I have lessons with him over the years, but I stopped about 6 months ago.

About 3 months ago I decided that things werent going to change, unless I change the way I ride him. So I changed. Working him in a much more relaxed way, guiding him rather than telling him. (if that makes sense)

Recently people have commented on how good we look together and how well he is working, so i decided to have a lesson this morning. My instructors first instruction was to shorten my reigns, get a really solid outside contact, and then we just worked him in circles. He immediately got really strong, fixed his jaw and his neck, and shortened his stride. overall the whole lesson just felt like a wrestling match, and I felt like all we had aceived just dissapeared.

SO.... my question is.....Is there a time to say "I know best" and just go with what feels right? or do you take the instructors word as Gospel?
 
You know best.
Some instructors are better than others. Find one who works in a way that is sympathetic to you and your horse.
 
I felt the same way until my mum started having lessons with a ride with your mind instructor. I had previously thought it was all a bit silly and would never work but as soon as my mum started the lessons with my old mare (who can be very tense and fixed) I was sold! The difference was amazing no pulling and shortening her up and she is carrying herself beautifully. I am now using the same instructor to help me with my young horse and I am thrilled with the results! Just a thought but it may work for you.
 
Yes but I think it takes more than one lesson to decide, it could be that your way of riding is better for your horse, but it could be that your asking him to do something he's not used to doing so resisting to your new style of riding which could potentiall be better, guess it's hard to say from just reading a post.

I'd say give it chance then see how you feel, if there is clearly no improvement then yes, RI's are not always right, some are better than others depending on the horse, as every horse is different, you can't ride every horse like you do your own and vice versa, you have to adampt and make progress from there.

Also it depends on what you want to work on or what your horse really needs, both you and your RI have to be in an agreement as to what is the best way forward, if your both singing off a different song sheet, your gong to get a completely different tune out of your horse, which could be good for one horse but not for another.
 
If your horse goes better the way you ride, then I would say find a more sympathetic instructor - maybe a more classical instructor would suit you better. Good luck!
 
Unfortuately some instructers have only one way to teach and do not alter their methods to suit whats in front of them. You know your horse and you have to live with him, at the end of the day thats what counts, so find someone else.
 
If a lesson feels like a wrestling match to you, how does it feel to the horse, particularly his mouth? You say that he's been working well and people have even commented on it, so I'd trust your instinct on this one. Personally I wouldn't go back for a second wrestling match.
 
The instructor should have watched you for a bit to see what makes you both tick...and build on your strengths, not try to change things in the first lesson, and when what she says doesn't work, should start again till they find what does. Try again and if you're still not happy move on not every instructor works for every rider.
 
I would say that you know best!! I have watched instructors that want the rider to 'tell a horse who is boss' & make it do as you say & come into an outline. My instructor is brilliant & she tells me that until your horse is ready to soften & listen you won't get anywhere. It may take more time, but I now have a very soft & listening tb who was originally very stressy the moment we stepped into the school, probably due to previous riders/instructors etc. I'd also go for the more sympathetic instructor. Once your horse is trusting & listening to you, you can then go up a level & begin to really ride him.
 
Carry on riding your horse the way you have been and ignore this new instructor as they are just making you and your horse unhappy. Riding shouldn't be a wrestling match, yes all horses have things they can improve and it can be difficult to work them through their bad patches but if you try to force them it tends to just make things worse. You sound like you have been doing a great job on your own but if you feel you need lessons try to find an instructor with a more sympathetic approach. I would also take up reading, find books by great riders/trainers and study their methods, then see if they work for you and your horse. Also try going to some lecture demos by the top riders/trainers as you will probably pick up lots of usefull tips and ideas to use in your own schooling. If you still wnat ot stick with this instructor I would try to watch her ride sometime, see if the horse she's on looks relaxed, comfortable and athletic, or if it looks tense, tight and restricted, then you can make up your own mind whether you would like to ride like this lady or not.
 
When I could not find an instructor who could get on with my horse I left my horse at home and just went for lessons at a good riding school to improve myself and used what I was learning to work with my horse. This way I could take my time teaching him without having the wrestling matches. If you decide to work on your own, have yourself videoed so you learn to associate what you feel with what is actually happening. An instructor who can get the best out of you and your horse is ideal but can be hard to find.
 
sounds like you know best, but.

I obviously don't know you or your horse so am not saying this is what is happening BUT

In the past I have made the mistake in that I felt my horse was responding better to me doing it my way, he was less resistant etc.
However as I learned more and more I realised he was less resistant because he was not working as he should be therefore he was training me to do what he wanted. It was nearly there, but it was that last little bit he didn't want to give and riding him my way I was never going to get it.

Not sure if that makes any sense but just food for thought

I have recently started having lesson with a Riding with your mind instructor and I must say I am WELL impressed with the methods and results
 
I would say you still haven't found the right instructor!

My late mare was very fussy with her head but I was very softly softly with her and on a good day we would get 65% in a novice dressage test but on a bad, stressy day we would get 46% in a prelim!
I had lots of different instructors, like you I felt like I was wrestling with her and no-one could get a tune out of her. So I carried on my own way which worked sort of.

Then I got a new instructor! She was a GP dr rider but trained the classical way. Straight away she said I was being too 'nice' and I thought 'oh here we go again!'. She got me to really shorten my reins and do lots of transitions to get her engaged, lots of variation within the pace to get her really off my leg and forwards.
My god the difference it made! It was very consistent, black and White training but rewarding. My mare revelled in the security of my new riding.
The next test we did we got 76% and she never got stressy at shows again either as she was so happy with knowing exactly what was what.

My point is, often you do know best but you need the right trainer who understands your horse and you to get the results :)
 
I'v been in a similar situation quite often recently. I have in the past resorted to just doing it myself with my mum (Who watches me ride everyday) giving me pointers on my position (more specifically 'LOOK UP!') And it has been going very well, getting new schooling exercises out of books helps to keep things interesting. Recently have tried 2 different instructors just as I felt like I should do, mostly because other people have lessons, was very shocked at what they ask, 'fiddle with your reins' 'get hold of her head' << When my horse consistently goes in a nice outline in a plain old french link snaffle why the hell would I try to get on her nerves when shes trying for me? The instructor also rode her and sawed on her mouth constantly,(My mum almost passed out!) .. Back to doing it myself for now but hoping to get in contact with an old instructor for jumping lessons soon as I know her and respect the methods she uses. The irony is the lady I will be contacting isn't qualified (Or she wasn't when I used her) as she was just a friend. Yet the other instructors I have tried where lol! Just do what you are happy with. I certainly don't take instructors words as gospel, one of the ones I tried said she rides all her horses in pelhams and I told her it was cheating, haha (well i was quite annoyed after she attacked my horses mouth.)
 
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