Issue with my livery neigbours

[Marmi452]

I moved to a livery yard at end of October as wanted to do DIY (previous yard going to part) and have a yard with an arena so my daughter could continue her riding education without having to go on the road. It is a lovely yard on the whole and my neighbours are very welcoming and will help with anything, but this is where the issue lies. we share a field I have 3 horses and they have 2 and as I work full time in the week and my partner works shifts we have an arrangement that we rotate turn in and out. Now turn out is going fine, turn in is another matter as they bring there horses in with just a lead rope if that they sometimes allow the horses to walk back to their stables in like cattle. Now I have a 25 yr old who just goes with the flow, a 4 year old welsh B who is due to be broken in April who is highly strung and needs boundaries and for my xmas present my OH brought me a beautiful cob who at 6 has spent a lot of time with a dealer so is getting used to routine and love. I was lucky to be off at Christmas and as I was turning in and out all my ponies had manners and would be very responsive to commands. I am now back at work and they are like a bunch of teenagers barging at the gate to be first out and in the stable... How do I ask politely that we go back to head collars and walking them by hand back to the stable without offending them and losing the relationship we have built up(plus I do need a little help) but I can not cope with uncontrollable ponies as there are kids on the yard(including mine) and worry about someone getting hurt. Any help or advice would be appreciated but I am happy at the yard and moving fields is not an option at the minute but would like them to understand that how they bring in ponies is not my way.... Thanks and sorry if I have rambled on a bit

 

[FairyLights]

dont really know what to say but didnt want to read and run. my youngsters come in from field to stable "like cattle" . I find it easier. they are both well mannered and lead nicely. coming in looser ti the stable needed be an issue , it doesnt mean they wont lead well when you want them too.

 

[Vodkagirly]

If you want them done a different way I think you either need to do it yourself or pay someone too. I guess they are doing it the quickest/easiest way.

 

[Shay]

Unless you are paying someone it is difficult to insist that they do things your way rather than theirs. But you could try pointing out that with the youngster at least there is a safety issue if he gets a bit above himself and breaks free. Or ask them not to bring yours in at all and do it yourself after work if that's an option?

 

[Tiddlypom]

If you want them done a different way I think you either need to do it yourself or pay someone too. I guess they are doing it the quickest/easiest way.

This, really.

You can ask them to do it 'your' way, but it may not go down well.

FWIW, I always put out/bring in one at a time, and this free styling would drive me nuts, too.

 

[stormox]

I think you will have to bring them in yourself. They are kind enough to help you, the job gets done, itd be rather ungrateful to complain to them you don't like their method.

 

[Pinkvboots]

As its a livery yard I am supprised liveries are allowed to just let the horses walk out of the field, nearly every yard I have been on would not allow it as it can be dangerous for other people and horses on the yard and the loose horses, you could just mention that yours are getting a bit bargy and think its due to them being allowed to walk out of the field to the stable failing that does the yard not have staff that can bring your in?

 

[Marmi452]

thank for the replies I know it might seem I am ungrateful but I certainly aren't, we have spoken about leaving mine in the field and i would bring them in as I have done this previously at my old yard(head torch and all that) but they are insistent to help which is appreciated but I am finding my youngster can forget her manners at times and this worries me. I like to bring in individual which again is my preference but I understand they have different ways. I just find a week of free styling 2 of mine can be ******* so i think they do not what is expected of them if that makes sense. One week they open the gates and all amble to the stable then the next week as OH is there they are walked in one by one so not a consistant routine. I am thinking of asking them to leave mine out so I can be in control a little more. Just to add the 2 ladies mum and daughter are known to be a bit loud on the yard and some people would say know it all's but I have no other issue other than the free styling. Sorry if it did come across as ungrateful as this was not my intention I just wanted to see how I could go about things without up setting them.

 

[Pinkvboots]

thank for the replies I know it might seem I am ungrateful but I certainly aren't, we have spoken about leaving mine in the field and i would bring them in as I have done this previously at my old yard(head torch and all that) but they are insistent to help which is appreciated but I am finding my youngster can forget her manners at times and this worries me. I like to bring in individual which again is my preference but I understand they have different ways. I just find a week of free styling 2 of mine can be ******* so i think they do not what is expected of them if that makes sense. One week they open the gates and all amble to the stable then the next week as OH is there they are walked in one by one so not a consistant routine. I am thinking of asking them to leave mine out so I can be in control a little more. Just to add the 2 ladies mum and daughter are known to be a bit loud on the yard and some people would say know it all's but I have no other issue other than the free styling. Sorry if it did come across as ungrateful as this was not my intention I just wanted to see how I could go about things without up setting them.

As I said in my other post does your yard owner not mind them bringing horses in this way? When I ran a few yards I would not have it its an accident waiting to happen on a livery yard, its different if you have a few at home and let them wander in no one else to worry about, I only have 3 at home and dont do it as it would be a major stampede and they would have no regard for maners so I know how you feel.

 

[Honey08]

Tell them you miss doing them yourself? Tell them your youngster is getting bargy so you want to bring him in yourself and do some work with him? (Whatever you tell them say you've really appreciated their help, add a small box of chocs or bottle of wine as a thank you to keep them sweet?).

 

[nianya]

I would just tell them honestly that you appreciate that their offers of help, but since your youngster needs to work on manners you would rather bring yours in until she's well mannered. That way it's not personal and hopefully they would understand this is a training issue.

Mine are all well mannered and could probably do this free style, but I would not like it either. And especially not when my younger horse was learning manners!

 

[Marmi452]

So the YO is not there all day and she has mentioned to them before that she wants all horses brought in with head collars/lead ropes I have never mentioned a thing to the YO as I am the newbie so just want a peaceful life but my youngster(theme here!) went on a wander one day and ended up in the big barn where the YO was so mentioned. I just find even my 25yr old school mistress is getting a bit big for her boots. I am just on countdown for the light nights so I can get there after work as they will leave out until it gets dusk. How do you in still manners back in them is a question?

 

[Kezzabell2]

Just say he's becoming rude to lead. So you want to do work with him. So thanks for her help but you'll bring them in until he's got over his attitude problems

Plus you don't want her to get hurt if he mows her down

 

[Newlands]

I don't think it sounds ungrateful if you were to word it as you have here. I wouldn't dream of doing that with other people's horses as it does sound a bit like an accident waiting to happen. Obviously I don't know the yard set up and it could be fine but I just think when helping and dealing with other people's horses I would be more aware of doing things 'properly' and not cutting corners that I may do with my own.

 

[Goldenstar]

If you want them done a different way I think you either need to do it yourself or pay someone too. I guess they are doing it the quickest/easiest way.

I agree you can't treat people doing unpaid favours like staff you have to sort of take it as it comes .
If you want strict rules you'll need to do it yourself or pay a freelance groom .

 

[Suechoccy]

Longterm I think it's good for the horses that some days they come in as a herd, and some days they come in led in head collars in two groups, and sometimes they come in individually, and all/any of this might happen from 3 or 4 different people.

Basis being the more we accustom them to, the more they learn longterm to take in their stride as normal behaviour and activities around being with human beings. Then nothing surprises them and they are chilled-out. (well that's the idea). I realise it doesn't work for everyone or every horse.

 

[Pebble101]

Tell them you miss doing them yourself? Tell them your youngster is getting bargy so you want to bring him in yourself and do some work with him? (Whatever you tell them say you've really appreciated their help, add a small box of chocs or bottle of wine as a thank you to keep them sweet?).

This, you could say you are worried about the safety aspect and it not being fair to them if they get hurt.

The only one I did free style was my old pony. I could probably do it with my big lad now but never in a month of Sundays with the other one I have.

 

[Midlifecrisis]

Tell them you miss doing them yourself? Tell them your youngster is getting bargy so you want to bring him in yourself and do some work with him? (Whatever you tell them say you've really appreciated their help, add a small box of chocs or bottle of wine as a thank you to keep them sweet?).

I second this approach ..no hurt feelings and you regain control again.

 

[Spring Feather]

How do you in still manners back in them is a question?

This is quite a strange question. I handle all 50 horses who board on my farm and they all behave nicely for me. I do have some owners who aren't quite as capable and sometimes their horses might take opportunities with them that they never would do with me. It doesn't seem to make any difference whatsoever to the horses; if their owner handles them and they are a little naughty with them, when I take over at any time before, during or after, the horses revert back to being very good boys and girls again.

Anyhow, I don't have a problem with the way you're neighbours are doing it, but you do, therefore you just take back the reins and do your own turnout/bring in. Everyone above has given reasons you can give to satisfy your neighbours; who knows, they might be thrilled to hear they don't have to bring yours in and all will be rosy and smiley :smile3:

 

[Spoiled cob]

What about leaving field safe headcollars on them so they can just clip on the rope and lead them in?

 

[Hayjay]

My two generally come in loose, although I usually have a hand on my girls rug but I am home alone and they cant really go anywhere other than their stables. I don't do it if my girls are on the yard though, in case they do get spooked by something. As you are doing a favour for each other, I would explain to your neighbour that your horses are forgetting their manners so would they please lead them in if possible but that if this is not possible you understand and will bring them in by head collar yourself. Maybe add that you appreciate their help. I'm sure that won't cause bad feeling.

 

[Marion]

Had similar problem with other liveries allowing their ponies to run in and out from the field instead of being led. My horse found it very distressing and would get anxious about turnout or coming in. I thought it was selfish and thoughtless to do this, also dangerous as they would kick out etc. Thankfully they have now left and are someone elses problem.

 

[YorksG]

We always allow our older, established mares to come in, one by one on their own, the youngsters are always led, the older mares have very good manners. The only time we had a problem with manners, when we had four established mares, was when we were paying some-one to regularly turn out and muck out on weekdays, horses who stood with doors wide open, waiting for halters on and to be invited to come out, tried to barge out on Saturday morning, fine again Sunday, then she came back on Monday! We stopped the arrangement after a month!

 

[applecart14]

This, really.

You can ask them to do it 'your' way, but it may not go down well.

FWIW, I always put out/bring in one at a time, and this free styling would drive me nuts, too.

I don't think I would like this either. I think it would work in the long run, and can understand why its done. I also do know of a yard not far away from where I am where they open the gate from the field and they all find their way into their own stables, but whilst trying to establish this routine in the first place I can imagine there would be some barging, slipping, skidding, running, kicking and biting for a few days first.

 

[Marydoll]

Just say, thanks for all your help but you prefer for safety reason to bring them in with head collars on and lead ropes so will do this yourself as you dont want to put them out.

 

[Ladyinred]

We bring in two each night, both ours. One is an angel and quietly and calmly walks herself, freestyle, into her stable and eats her dinner.. leave the door open and she stays there. The other is also an angel as long as she is headcollared. Without it she can't help herself.. she has to explore far flung regions of the farm, or take off round the other paddock, or , on a good day, go into the barn but wander up and talk to YOs pony rather than eat her feed. Like yours, there are some that it simply doesn't work with and they need the discipline and routine of being brought in with a headcollar.

Frankly, I think the only answer that won't cause a riot and bad feelings is to ask for yours to be left out and bring in yourself later on. Since the other livery has started this regime it will be her problem to get hers out the field and keep yours in! I recommend a pen round the gate so she can separate them without losing any.

 

[el_Snowflakes]

I would just tell them that for the safety of both horses & handlers you would like headcollar to be used & tell them you will leave headcollars in a specific place ie. At the gate.