I've just had a blazing row!

[Ferdinase514]

With another livery! Long one...sorry.

Am the most non-confrontational person, but this woman has wound me and everyone else on yard up over several weeks and it all came to a head this eve. I shall list the things she has done to annoy me...

1) Shouted at me for arriving at yard 10 mins before leaving for a show, when I was helping her out, because she expected me to be there at 6am to muck her horses out. I had been at OH's book launch the night before and was hanging the next morning and was doing her a huge favour by turning up. Which she knew.

2) Been rude to very nice new liveries because they needed to turn their horses out in "her" field, even though her horses are stabled 24hrs a day and field is actually a sick paddock. She then proceeded to turn her horses out all day for 2 weeks so new liveries could not use field and to slag them off.

3) Told me to "shut up" when I gave one of teenagers on yard some advice she did not agree with.

4) watching me put out a whole course of SJ and tacking up before bring her horse out to lunge, mainly so she could be arkward and make snide comments about what I was doing.

There's more, but you get the idea.

She is really to rudest, most obnoxious, arkward, horrible person I have ever met.

This evening she marched up to me saying "why are you turnng Finn out in MY field?" (he can't eat the rich grass so needs restricted grazing and this has been agreed with Y.O). I told her why, that I didn't want to get involved in her quarrels and to go away.

Anyway conversation deteriorated as I got more angry and I finished up telling her all the things I was annoyed about and that I didn't want anything to do with her.

The yelling brought Y.O. and several other liveries out to intervene and this woman started having a go at Y.O!

I apologised to YO afterwards and thanked her for breaking it up as it was getting rather heated.

Don't understand how this woman can behave like this. I really hope they ask her to leave, as she has been causing trouble on yard for months and it all seems to be coming to a head at the mo.

Well done for getting to the end!

 

[_jetset_]

That's the problem with being on a livery yard... you won't get on with everyone!

Hope it's sorted out soon, and you can go back to enjoying being there.

 

[PinkFairy]

wow i know someone like that at my old yard it was awful! i hate it when some people behave like they own the yard! She's probably just jealous that people ask for advice etc and would rather disrupt it than watch it. Yay you for putting her in her place though!! (I bet that felt excellent ) I second you hoping the yard ask her to leave - she sounds awful!!!

 

[Ferdinase514]

The thing is I do get on with everyone! Make a special effort to be at least civil to people even if I don't like them.

She's a bully though and I decided I had to stand up to her as I've seen her be nasty to other people who didn't.

 

[Ferdinase514]

[ QUOTE ]
Yay you for putting her in her place though!! (I bet that felt excellent )

[/ QUOTE ]

I was shaking through the whole thing though!

 

[maddielove]

well done for confronting her!!!
at my old yard there was an old woman who was always on everyones back..i wished she was confronted!

thank god i'm away from there! hopefully she'll either get the message or leave!!!

 

[PinkFairy]

well, at least you let her know you weren't taking her attitude anymore. She shouldn't be allowed to push people around that way either! I salute you!!

because at least you made your voice heard which is important if you are not happy at the yard!

 

[chestnut cob]

She sounds like an absolute cow!!

Well done you for being able to hold back for so long!

What did YO say?

 

[RunToEarth]

I hate that feeling. Our last livery left last year as she wound me up to the point of tears on a daily basis and in our final heat of arugments I was so furious, I needed to get all my anger out so quickly as there was so much of it, I understand how you feel, one of those moments when you feel like you are going to throw a bucket of water over her head.

Sorry to hear you're in such a crap position, hopefully she might get the hint sometime soon and leave. x

 

[Happytohack]

Firstly - well done for standing up to the bully! There seems to be one on nearly every yard - there is a livery near us with someone very like the woman you have described. she makes everyone's life a misery, nothing is ever her fault, but no one wants to confront her. Hopefully, the fact that you have stood up to her will make her behave better in the future, otherwise stand your ground and don't let her get her own way!

 

[PapaFrita]

She sounds fecking dire! Unfortunately some people seem to have nothing better to do than find fault and pick at everything everyone else does. There are a few like that at my yard except they don't have the balls to have a go at me directly because I would LOVE to give them a piece of my mind....
Well done for standing up to her, and hopefully she will behave a bit better (at least towards you!) in future!

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

Let's hope that the YO sees sense & decides that if the livery is unhappy with the way the yard is run then maybe she should look for accomodation elsewhere. If your yard is well run there will probably be a waiting list of people to replace her. The ball is in the YO's court now.
I hope things work out for you.

 

[filly190]

I am not on a yard, but feel from what you have said, that the yard manager is at fault by allowing someone to become controlling and act in a manner where she is making people unhappy.

From reading posts over time, it seems a common problem. Where is the back bone of the yard manager. If I were running a yard, I would be sorting people out and kicking the bad ones off the yard to ensure smooth running and a happy balance of people

It seems to me, that the louder and more confrontational people are, they get their own way, people back down. This is wrong and good people should not cower down and suffer in silence.

I would call a yard meeting without the yard manager and this woman and get everyone to then bring their objections to the yard manager in a letter and see how she is prepared to address them. As an individual you can be singled out for being a trouble maker (when you are not) and so you need the support of others.

Good luck, I would firstly sort out your yard manager and get her to do her job properly.

 

[TGM]

[ QUOTE ]
one of those moments when you feel like you are going to throw a bucket of water over her head.

[/ QUOTE ] I have actually done that

!

Just as well I have the horses at home now ...

 

[MagicMelon]

Hope she does get asked to leave. I wouldnt want her being near my horse after an arguement (might start taking it out on him!).

 

[Neddies]

I've had a similar problem with a lady at my yard. It's a small yard only 5 horses. she's always made the odd snide comment in the past which I've ignored but the last few months have been awful. It started when during the heatwave in June, I told her her horse which was stabled at night had really sweated up in it's stable rug (a stable rug in June!). She made me out to be a liar as she said the horse had no dried sweat on it the next morning so it couldn't of been sweating! Believe me the poor horse was dripping. Since them she hasn't spoken directly to me just made snide comments for me to hear and started doing really petty things to try and stir things up, I think the fact I'm not rising to it is winding her up more, but I must say it's blooming difficult not to tell her what I think, especially like the other day when she stood her horse next to the fence where my saddle was sitting and let her horse mouth my saddle! I removed it quick before I had a nice bite mark on it!

I could understand it if I'd done something, but me and another owner were concerned about her horse!