I've lost confidence please help!

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Bessieboo

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Hi everyone

On Monday I took my mare out for a hack. I have done this many times both in compay and alone and normally she behaves really well with perhaps just the odd little jump if a really loud lorry or tractor comes along.

However Monday was so different. From the start she was much more on her toes than normal but I just put this down to the fact that she hadn't been ridden on Sunday. But then we came accross a Bus. She really didn't like this and basically went ape. Bolting up the road and then spinning like a maniac - I managed to stay on but unfortunately my saddle slipped leaving me hanging on like an idiot in the middle of a country lane. I dismounted, readjusted my saddle and tried to get back on but she was so spooked she danced around like a loon. I then remembered a place we had passed with a large stone that I could stand on and took her to it to try to mount there. Again she was terrible. Dancing round me and the stone, throwing her head up, snorting etc. I tried to calm her down but she was having none of it and eventually I am ashamed to say I gave her a smack with my whip which to my amazement did the trick and she stood pefectly whilst I got back on.

Ok so then I had to get her back to the yard about 2 miles away. Well that was the longest and most terrifying 2 miles of my life. Everything made her spook. Litter, leaves, cars, birds, puddles everything. We did the entire journey at a slow walk pace but actually she was trotting. She shied into the middle of the round a couple of times and I honestly thought either we would end up under a car or in a ditch. When we eventually got back to the yard I was drained.

During the ride I managed to stay calm and was talking to her all the time trying to keep her calm but when I got off my legs felt like jelly.

I now feel such a failure. I don't feel confident about going out alone anymore and in fact feel like my horse has no confidence in me. I have always said if I had a horse that I could not manage I would rather sell it but I do not want to sell her, I love her and just can not understand why she was like this?

Can anyone help, give me some words of advice please?

Sorry for the rant and cookies to all who got this far.

Thanks x
 
Sounds like you managed incredibly well! Be proud!

Beg a friend to walk with you next time, for the first time. Take some keep calm things before you get on, and do what you have already been doing =]

Chin up! xxxx
 
I think this is just horses for you and they can sometimes be right buggers!!!

Sounds like when you got firm she then behaved so it seems she was being a bit of a monkey!

I have a pony who, even though I've had him 15 years he's not good with large vehicles and can on occasion if he's not been out for a while, object to all kinds of random things and he's nto realyl a spooky pony! Generally once one thing's started him off he's a prat for a good few minutes afterwards and he too can do the jump into the road trick whihc is NOT funny!

I think you just have to be firm and tell yourself you're in control but also remain calm and confident (although I know this can be hard). Maybe go out with someone else for your first time back 'out there' but remind yourself she'd not always bad like that and it is just a one off.

Horses do like to do these things to us I'm afraid, even the most laid back horse can have it's moments!
 
Sounds like my mare
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She was probably just having one of those days. Was it colder than usual? Windy? Has she been turned out in her normal routine? Change of feed? Mine gets like that when she's not sure about something - she doesn't understand it, so she throws a tantrum.

I would put a neck strap on, to give you more confidence (and stability if she does get silly). Hack out with other people until you regain your confidence, then start building up your hacking alone (gradually - take small steps) until you're back to where you were before today.

Good luck
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Thanks for that guys.

Yes it was quite windy and very cold too. Her routine is the same so is her food but maybe it was the weather?

I am so new to this so I worry over things like this all the time.

I did ride her again last night in the school and she was generally quite well behaved. Did some love canters for me instead of leaping into them, which she normally does, she went really nice and smoothly.

Anyways lesson tonight and then at the weekend I am going to ask a friend to hack out with me and take a bottle of Kalms beforehand!
 
I think you did brilliantly, and should be proud of yourself. You dealt with her silliness, you gave her a wallop which stopped pratting about, you got back on and you rode home. She pratted about, but you rode her through the spooks. What is there in that lot to be unconfident about?

Horses aren't machines. They have good days, bad days and I'm-going-to-be-a-complete-a*se days like humans do. Get a neck strap, or even a Jesus Christ handle on the front of your saddle (monkey strap, balance strap, whatever you like to call it - a bit of twine or a flash strap between the D-rings). If you have a neck strap and a JC handle you can sit through most pratting about!
 
Agree with above, very likely she was having one of those days, but it's worth bearing in mind if it's happened once it will likely happen again.

Not that that should make you worry, my mare is sharp and very spooky all the time and can be very difficult round the fields, she'll shy, jump about, try to run off, buck etc etc.

I use a neckstrap and persevere, as that's all I can do and as time has gone by although she acts daft, it is slightly predictable - she will only run off a few metres, she will only buck a couple of times and I've learnt to handle it and it's prob made me a better rider!

This has prob just thrown you as it's the first time, think about if it happened again what would you do differently, prepare and you'll be better able to cope - which means she prob won't be as bad anyway!
 
Well done for staying on until you chose to get off, getting back on and riding her home safely.
Could it be that the saddle slipped and set her off to start with?
I have had terrible saddle fitting problems with my mare and I always know when her saddle is uncomfortable because, although she can be going along quite nicely, if any loud traffic comes along, she spooks and then gets completely upset. A few weeks ago, when I was riding her home after cutting a hack short because she was so spooky, she set off at a canter when a lady going to church scuffled her feet in some dry leaves, lol!
You might need to girth more tightly or use a grip pad. It could be that she has changed shape a bit going into winter.
In your position I would ask a very knowledgeable friend or instructor to look at the saddle fit and if there is any doubt get a saddle fitter out, a small adjustment could be all it takes.
 
Don't feel like a failure! You did really well. Also, you shouldn't be ashamed that you gave her a smack, sometimes they need it and it sounds like it did the trick and made her stop and think for a second! Also, once they've managed to get wound up by something, their state of alert then seems to heighten and every little thing, be it a blade of grass, leaf etc can just set them off. Is she used to being ridden out when it's really windy? Also what time of day was it? I tend to find that cold windy mornings can make them very fresh and on their toes. Maybe you could walk her out in hand a couple of times before you hack her out again just to get both your confidence back a bit and if she's going to be stupid, at least you'll be on the ground anyway!
 
I think you did really well so def dont be so hard on yourself! The one thing I would add to the advice you have already been given is that, if get any strong clues that she might be 'in a mood' before your next hack why not stick her on the lunge for a few minutes to get the silliness out of her before you go
 
As everyone has has said well done. It sounds like you handled it perfectly. Hacking with a friend a couple of times should soon get you back on your feet.
Would definately look into why the saddle slipped, you don't want that happening even if your having fun.
 
Have to agree with the others, sounds like you handled the situation very well, managed to stay calm and that is really hard to do when faced with a misbehaving and potentially dangerous ned! Also echo the comments about the saddle, this time last year I had a few issues with my normally sensible TB out on a hack, turns out he had put on a bit of muscle across his shoulders and his saddle was pinching, not much but just enough for Mr "I'm a sensitive ex racehorse" to have a paddy. Had the McTimmoney lady out, back sorted, new saddle, which was in the pipeline anyway and all was well. I don't know how long you have had your mare but I think it takes a good year to get to know all their silly little ways, things change as the seasons change and so many different things, some that seem so irrelevant to us, can make a huge difference to their moods. Good luck with her and let us know how you get on over the next few weeks.
 
Thanks again everyone.

I am going to try and put this behind me and not be a big baby about it anymore!

Will definately get my saddle checked though as the slipping thing was not nice.
 
First of all, well done! I had a spooky mare and (to my shame) I often ended up leading her home rather than get back on! Only other advice I could add to all of the above is definitely to hack out with a friend on something sensible before you go out on your own again, and chat, sing, scratch your horses neck, anything to help keep calm and relaxed.
 
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