I've lost my bottle...

R

ruthsimms

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 February 2007
Messages
83
Visit site
Last Septmber I fulfilled a dream and bought my first horse. We were having loads of fun getting to know eachother. He's a great all rounder and loves jumping. But I had a nasty fall in December which meant I couldn't ride for a bit. Then he was out of work so when we started to get back on track I found that I'd lost my nerve completely and became terrified of jumping.

So ensued an intense period of jumping lessons, private and groups. And I've done clear round SJ but it's getting worse.

I become incredibly tense and quite scared of what he's going to do.

Tonight we had an SJ competition, just a small low-key thing at my riding school - we were elimintated with 20F because I was so tense I didn't put my leg on, was half way up his neck and held him really tight, so he stopped at virtually everything.

I can't see how I'm ever going to enjoy jumping again and I really want to. The warm up was fine, I had him listening to me, softened nicely and stuff. Once in the arena he became a bit whizzy with his head in the air and it all went wrong from there. TBH I think we set each other off - he senses my nerves so gets a bit fresh and excited which makes me more nervous and tense and then he hollows and that's the end of that.

I've really pushed myself to carry on jumping but I can't carry on much longer being so anxious about it. I'll try rescue remedy before my next jump lesson but I think it's going to take more than that.

Has anyone else overcome a fear like this? How did you do it? Does it ever get better?

I'm so frustrated - before Christmas we were hooning around all over the place having such fun and now I'm a nervous wreck.
 
I know how you feel, I had a nasty jumping accident over 12 months ago and i have completely lost my bottle. I think that you have done well to have jumping lesson and even competed since you accident. I still have not jumped and am a very nervous rider now. I miss not jumping but my nerves won't let me yet. I think if you contiue your lessons it will get better. I was once told you have to keep doing whats uncomfortable to become comfortable i believe this is true so hopefully I will jump again. Keep going you will get there.
 
I'm really sorry to hear that Monets_Girl.

The ironic thing is my accident wasn't whilst jumping, it was a victory lap after jumping of all things and he got spooked, lost his footing, hurtled off and I came off at high speed.

I'd hoped that more jumping would cure it but like I say it's actually getting worse.

I do hope it gets better for you too - if I find the secret I'll let you know!
 
I would give your boy a rest from jumping for a while, if he enjoys it possibly lunge or get somebody else to jump him for you. Try jumping a different horse for a lesson, a safe one preferably
smile.gif
I find I get very tense on my tb mare, when jumping or just if I'm in a bad mood(not good as she gets very stroppy and fast, she must think there is something wrong
crazy.gif
) , but when I get on my slower mare, I ride completely differently and don't tense, I don't really know why but if I ride the slower mare first, we all have a great day and don't get tense when I ride the tb. I got very scared of riding the fast one for a while and did find riding others very educational, and I felt much safer and pushed myself more, I don't know quite why, somehow I just seem to leave behind the emotional bagage with the tb, and am fine riding another. If you've had good jumping experiences in the past, before the fall, think of these before you get on, so you start with the right state of mind and if you get tense, stop and just walk round the school for a bit. A good instructor in private lessons is great, one that pushes you enough but not over the top, I found lessons with a friend the best as she new what we're both like... stroppy
blush.gif


Good luck and hopefully other people can give you more useful advice.
crazy.gif
 
Cant really offer any advice but can say that i do understand how you feel. I used to have bags and bags of confidence, used to come off, wasnt a big deal, straight back on, however when i was looking for my first horse i went to try out a mare that was advertised as a confidence giving school mistress etc etc, she took off with me and headed towards a post and rail fence, there was no stopping her, and as i thought she was going to jump the fence, she turned sharply and i hit the fence smack on and knocked myself out for a minute. My confidence has never been the same since. But i will say that when i first got my pony Kelly, he frightened the life out of me and didnt attempt canter for about 6 months, but once we got going, i just adored it,, i had the best time with him. Just try to start again building your confidence gradually and maybe leave going to competitions for a bit until you're happier as this will just put extra stress on you. Good Luck!
 
Why don't you give up jumping for a while. Enjoy your horse, hacking and having fun, really chill out and relax over the summer, I am sure your confidence will return and you could try jumping again a bit later and see how it goes.
 
You're lucky you're jumping at all, I still haven't gotten over a singe jump and I've been back riding for 4 months after breaking my leg
crazy.gif
. I'm hoping to get jumping tiny tiny jumps and not really do much more than that, and only if I feel really comfortable, I don't want to scare myself stupid
crazy.gif
 
If you wind each other up, could you have a couple of lessons on a riding school schoolmaster type just to boost your confidence and remind yourself that you can do it?
A friend of mine uses resuce remedy when she gets really nervous and swears by it, so maybe that's be worth giving it a go. When I'm nervous I sing as we go round which makes you breath and relax. Might be classed as cruel to my horse though!
Otherwise my only advice is try to enjoy - if competitions are worrying you at the moment, don't do it. Just stick to your lessons and to things you are comfortable doing until you are ready.

I'm sure you will get there.
 
I have aswell in jumping had 2 jumping incidents I end up in hospital or an ambulance because the horse fell on me and I have had a few other jumping incidents aswell but a good idea is too start from scratch on jumping and work your way back up again with a decent sympathetic trainer or instructor. That is what I have done and I am slowly gradually getting my confidence I can jump a whole block cross pole or half a block straight but my nerves won't take anything else and I can only do it in trot.It just takes time if you can't get your nerve back try other equestrian sports like dressage,showing,etc but don't worry there is loads of us out there and you are not alone and It sounds like you have a decent,sympathetic horse that loves you too bits so i am certain he won't do anything to let you get hurt which is the ideal horse for you.
 
Personally I think your horse is showing fear of jumping and that is why he is doing this. Its likely being caused by you holding him so tightly he cant get his stride and cant bascule properly over the jump. And possibly not giving enough with your hands when jumping.

You need to both go back to trotting poles until you can both go calmly through them. Then begin to introduce a small jump and let him find his way through on a long rein. The tension of a competition is going to be damaging so do lots of slow and low jumping at home, practising giving your hands forward or even jumping without your reins ( oops health and safety wont like that). Book some individual lessons with an understanding instructor. Say you want to go calmly into fences. Horses charging into fences are scared not confident!

Hope this helps! Sorry if it sounds like Im getting at you, Im definitely not! Ive been there myself and found a good instructor who took us back to basics and I realised it was my fault my horse was like this. After a few months he was jumping calmly and confidently again and so was I!! And I had to learn to give with my reins!!
 
Losing your confidence is such a horrible thing, I am just getting mine back after losing it for no real reason!

My advise would be don't beat yourself up about it, and don't push yourself too hard. If you don't want to jump, then that's fine, you don't have to. He's your horse, you bought him to enjoy him, so stop doing something you're not enjoying for now.

Build slowly back up to the jumping, spend time hacking, schooling and then moving on to some trotting poles when you feel ready, then some tiny jumps.

Clearly pushing yourself to do it regardless of your nerves isn't working, so be kind to yourself and give yourself a break You'll get there and you'll be jumping again in the future.
 
I would get a lesson on a complete schoolmaster horse who is not your own. This will make you realise if you want to jump or its the confidence in your horse that has gone. This will make you be able to rationalise any decisions. If I am having a really bad time on the younger horse I will often get on my older one to realise that its all fun again. It can all get caught up in your mind.
 
"If I am having a really bad time on the younger horse I will often get on my older one to realise that its all fun again"

Me 2. I've been nervous since I started jumping again after a two year break, first I had a child and then I put my mare in foal. 60cms looked like 6ft in February this year and I felt sick but I still wanted to do it so I just forced myself and it did gradually get better. It was slow at first and my 1st show on 24th March jumping 75cms, I took an immodium in the morning cause my stomach was all over the place. Everything went well though and I've gone from strength to strength since, I'm now able to jump 1m confortably and can push myself (with butterflies and slight sick feeling to 1m15). Things still do go wrong, I missed a stride at a jump and my brave (but silly) horse took off and we both ended up splat on the floor, luckily neither of us were hurt (near miracle!) and I got back up and jumped the same jump again (after doing a smaller one). Things do get better. You do have to push yourself slightly (or you'd never progress) but not to the extent that you are going to put yourself off riding because you are so fearful. I generally go with something small and simple and if that's ok I take it one small step further, height, filler, spread etc. You could try some pole work and then try cross poles, when you're happy with that try a small upright etc, but take it at your own pace and dont leap from one thing to the next, going too fast will also knock your confidance. Best thing would be to get help from a good instructor.

The only other consideration is how much you want to jump. Dont let anyone pressure you into doing it and certainly dont pressure yourself, you're no less a rider or person for not jumping. Riding should be fun and enjoyable, whatever you do be it hacking, dressage, endurance jumping or eventing and at whatever level you want to do it at.
 
YES! ME!
I had quite a long break from riding whilst I was waiting for mine to grow up.
When he had grown up enough to bring on I was a total wimp!!
I had lost all my confidence.

A friend very kindly lent me her brilliant horse (My boys Dam) to help with my confidence whilst she worked on him.

It was the best thing ever. I did a few cross countries on her and I would be doing a 2'9" cross country and on my way round I would be eying up the open fences thinking "Ooooh, I wish I was doing them"!!

I think without H lending me B, I would have not bothered jumping ever again.

I know I have told her many times that I am so grateful for that. I really think I should tell her again sometime. It takes a lot to lend your best horse to someone.
smile.gif
 
The replies to this post should show you that you are not alone and that things do get better, I hope so.
smile.gif
smile.gif


I personally would have a break from jumping, I think you are putting yourself under too much pressure to jump and you are starting to compromise the enjoyment of your horse.

Have some fun, do some dressage even if only walk and trot test, some gymkhana games!, some hacking and let yourself shill and enjoy your horse again. Soom you'll be looking at the jumps and start doing cross poles again but dont push yourself until u are ready. Good luck x
 
Thank you so much for all of your suggestions and support. I need to go to bed (long day) but I will re-read everything and post tomorrow.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top