Juggling dog and horse as a single person

Identityincrisis

Identityincrisis

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So, it appears I'm probably in the final stages if my relationship with my partner and while it is incredibly sad, i need to think practically about my animals.

I was happily single for many years, with only my horse as a dependent. Now, despite loudly voicing my opinion we shouldn't get one, as I knew I would end up as sole carer, and said i just didn't have the time, we have a 'family' dog.

He and I have bonded hugely, he was a rescue with behaviour issues which makes walking him difficult. My partner and his teenage son love him but don't meet his needs, so if the worst does happen, i HAVE to take him with me.

This is where my stress and anxiety beginss. I work 8:30-5:00 and my horse is on DIY, I don't mind getting up earlier to walk the dog before work, but then what?? I will have terrible guilt about him being left until i get home.

So do I pick him up after work and keep him in the car at tge stables?

Do I leave him at home until after the stables?

How do you deal with the guilt of spending time with one animal and not the other?

My mother will be able to have him Thurs& Friday.

Please tell me hiw you juggle it on your own
 
I’m not single but my husband is in the army so home very rarely so I have to deal with 2 dogs and a horse by myself. In my previous job I was lucky to take the dogs with me but now I can’t. They get the legs walked off them before work, the dog walker at lunch for an hour then walked again after work for a shorter walk. This generally keeps them tired enough to just want to sleep when I’m not there. Having 2 helps though as they have each other in the day. I would take both to the yard before and after work and let them run around in the school (with permission) when I could as well. 2 birds one stone

I was on DIY where I lived before so I was pretty much knackered all the time but I got into a routine and it was fine
 
I am really sorry to hear you are in this situation - particularly at this time of year. However, please, please do not think of leaving your dog all day. However much exercise you give him before and after work, it is not the exercise he needs but company and if you already have a dog with behavioural issues you will only be adding separation anxiety to the mix.
I don't have the perfect answer as I don't know your circumstances but there are day-care services for dogs available and you could try these to start with and see how he settles to that routine.
 
Sorry to hear of your situation - I can sympathise as may soon be in a similar position. It doesn't sound that bad if it's just Mon - Wed that is the real issue. Are there any local dog walkers who could pop in at lunch times on those days? Or a local doggy day centre?
 
Sorry to hear about your relationship.
I would take dog with you to horse as at least he is out of the house for a while. I think just a change of enviroment is important. Can you give him a run enroute to horse?
Could you arrange for someone to walk him at lunchtime the three days your mum can't have him?
 
Id get another dog to prevent the loneliness singular animals suffer with.
Ive got an ark of 2 of everything here, which really does help them amuse each other, as its impossible for me to give them attention constantly.
Does your ex and son have the ability to spend more time with the dog during the day than you?
Could they handle having 2 dogs? As you said you didnt want the dog in the first place and it was more his want and decision?
If the dog is more bonded to you than to your ex the dog would prefer you.
Daycare suggestions are a great idea, if another dog is not possible.
 
Thanks all for your suggestions.

Unfortunately due to his issues another dog is not an option, he would literally kill another dog.

HE is much better being my dog, we have bonded and worked on his issues, whereas my partner and son don't, he wouldn't get more than a cursory walk to do his business if I wasn't there.

Unfortunately the reality of living on my own means I couldn't afford a dog walker more than once a week.

Fanatical, I'm sorry you may also be finding yourself in this position too, it's so difficult.

Sorry if I'm coming across as negative, I'm just struggling to see how it will work.

I had thought the fact he is out at the stables as a change of scene might work?
 
Your working hours definitely make it a challenge. I have a similar situation (although not single I live alone and have taken on 'custody' of our dog as my partner is away). He can't mix with the horses as he is very reactive just at the sight of them (not sure what I did wrong there but its a work in progress). I get up before 5 and he comes up in a covered crate to stay in the car whilst I do the horses, then he gets a walk. I'm lucky that so far he has been able to stay with my parents, my sister or a dog day care whilst I'm at work, or I can work at home a day or two a week usually. I then collect him and go for a long walk after work, and then he stays at home whilst I do the horses in the evening. Because he has at least had company in the day I don't feel so bad leaving him alone for a few hours in the evening. Then I get home and we do some training and nosework games in the house before bed. I'm tired all the time as it takes me from 5am til 9pm to do all this stuff, and the horse isn't doing as much as I want, but it's worth it.

Do you have any friends that live near to you or your work that are at home to mind him during the day, not to walk him as he sounds difficult, but to just be company for him so he isn't alone for so long. Some people want the company of a dog without the full time responsibility of owning one, so maybe one might like to have him around whilst you are at work?
 
Would your partner, or his son be able to at least let the dog out into the garden at some point around the middle of the day? I would think that if you can walk him at least once and take him to the yard, so long as he will wait sensibly for you, he should be ok on the 3 days when he will be left.

ETA would your partner contribute to the cost of a dog walker/someone to let him out on the 3 days?
 
How about Monday to Wednesday take doggie to stables with you in morning and give him a run, do minimal with horses, then take him home, go onto work. If he's had a good mental and physical exercise, he'll be more likely to settle with you out for the day. After work, pick him up then go to stables, he can sit in car in shady spot while you ride, you can walk him after your ride either there or on way home or once you get home. If he's happy for someone to pop by at lunchtime and let him into the garden for a wee, play with him for a few minutes and give him a biscuit, that will work. Best wishes and good luck in your new phase of life.
 
I'm in exactly the same position as you right now IC. If you want to talk more in depth feel free to PM me!

I work 9-6 (flexi time is an option for me, so I can go in any time between 8am and 10am). Dog is let in the garden in the morning, and is given either a proper walk at lunch or after work. I'm really, really lucky in that he's a star in the house and is happy enough to sleep while I'm out for the day. He also tires very easily and doesn't need hours of exercise to stay sane. He doesn't like being taken to my work or being in new places so tbh leaving him at home is what he'd prefer. I can't get another dog because like yours, he would probably end up killing it (plus I don't particularly want more on my plate).

I do the horse after work (he's on assisted DIY so they sort in the morning) - he's a half hour drive. Usually get home around 9 or 9:30pm. Dog then gets a quick spin around the block.
 
Maybe you could make him a cozy kennel and run in the garden for when he's left so he can go to the loo if necessary? Or have a dog door? Then he can come to the stables when you ride. He would soon settle to his routine.
 
Not quite the same but I have two dogs and a part loan in my own.
Its bloody hard work, mostly cos the newest one - a collie isnt what I'd class as "safe" around horses, being a chaser.
Whether this changes in time ( I only rehomed her end of August) I dont know.
Can you take them with you to the yard? My spaniel "helps" while I do chores or hacks out with me and the collie either sits in the car or if safe (eg mucking out and horses in fields) i tie her to me/stable so she potters and gets a change of scene and I do a lot of training/ brain games in between.
I work fulltime but live with my brother who does shifts, I walk for an hour before work, an hour after work if not up the yard and we also do a weekly obedience class and a weekly agility class, at weekends, we do a long walk and flyball training or go to a flyball/agility show. He depending on shifts lets them out at 11 or 3. I leave home at 8 and get home at 6.
They have free access to the house, the spaniel sleeps and the collie supervises people out the window. I couldnt trust the collie with a dog walker, but could/have you a trusted neighbour who could pop in at lunch to let the dog out for a wee break at least?
It works in that the dogs are always doing something, even mentally so they are happy to be home alone to rest!
 
It's not a nice situation to be in, is it feasible to speak to those that wanted the dog so the wither help.out on person or financially?
Realistically you are gone from the house for a block of eight and a half hours per day and that does not include travelling.
You have at least 2 days per week that you need covered for the dog, personally I don't think it's ok to leave a dog shut indoors for that amount of time without someone coming in to break the day up.
Maybe you could kennel the dog-i wouldn't kennel a dog alone through choice myself but do have dog in kennels in pairs on a farm where people are coming and going all day.
How long is it that the dog will be left including travelling?
If you can't work around things maybe you will need to face that whilst you love him, you also cannot meet his needs?
 
Oh poor you - this will be tough until you find a routine that works.

One of the thing that works for me is taking the dog to the stable and when I can't haul him around on the leash shutting him in the horse's box (without the horse). At least he gets a bit of walking in the process. Appreciate that if yours is really difficult with other dogs this may not work though.

Some ideas:

Do you have a secure garden? Could you put a well insulated kennel (with heat mat if necessary) and leave him there during the day so at least he can pee. This way if you got him really tired before you leave for work he would probably spend a nice day relaxing. If he cannot be in the whole garden can you make a run for him.

If he can't be outside is there a neighbor (maybe a stay at home Mum whose kids are in school) who could at least let him into the garden to pee once a day. If he is difficult to walk they probably won't be able to do more, but maybe they could throw a ball for him for a bit.

If you take him to the stables is there anywhere good to walk him nearby? A good walk to tire him out and perhaps he would be happy to have a nap in the car? I keep a dog bed and a 'road refresher' water bowl in my car for these eventualities, although obviously in summer it is not possible

Worst case just pop home to let him out and then go to the horse. If your Mother has him 2 days a week and you are around at weekends it is only 3 days that he maybe doesn't get a perfect life. You do not need to feel guilty about it, in the end you can only do your best, and you will give him a life which is better than the alternatives. I used to run a dog charity overseas and we were always telling people that we didn't need them to be 'perfect' homes because there is no such thing - just do what you can sensibly do and everything will fall into place.

Good luck!
 
I’m permanently single. Last year I got a second horse and a rescue dog within about 3 weeks of each other (mid-life crisis?). Probably not the best move and I found it very tiring seeing to two horses, walking and managing a nervous dog that was hugely anxious and full on and working full time. However it’s easier in the fact that I work flexibly and from home a fair bit although I travel and do some long days. Plus the dog is very trainable. Last year I had to walk him separately but now if I’m hacking he comes out with me which is an absolute godsend. Sadly that doesn’t seem to be an option for you.

He would much rather be in the car at the yard than left at home so he can spend several hours a day in it but has a comfortable bed and toys and I take him out regularly much easier than if left at home. He comes poo picking and has a few aunties on the yard too. Last year I used to take him for two walks a day whatever, this year I’m a little less rigid and on really rubbish days the garden is my preferred solution as long as he’s had one decent walk.

He goes to a dog sitter on days I’m travelling and had adapted really well but he’s regressed recently and won’t settle at night at hers which is a PITA for which I’m considering medication.

No life is perfect dog or human so I’d just do your best.
 
i was put in this situation when my mum passed away as my dog was at her house all day and i collected her at night so she was never left for a long time. i walked her in the morning and could just about manage to get home in my lunch break and get her out for 10 mins. i was living in a 1st floor flat so had to walk her as no garden, then went home in the evening and got changed for the yard and took her with me, she was loose while i was doing jobs and i took her for a proper walk once i had finished...i realised i couldnt do that long term so managed to find a house closer to work and also with a garden so life was easier. my dog seemed very happy and not stressed about being left for longer, not ideal but it can be done...
 
Sorry you’re going through this.
We have a rescue gsd x Labrador. I work full time and so does my husband, sometimes he can go to work with him but sometimes he has to stay home alone. If your mum is having him two days a week I don’t think 3 days at home is too much provided he has stimulation around this. We tether ours in the garden with his kennel. He sleeps in the house but much prefers being outside than in the house during the day so this suits him better (can’t leave him loose as wouldnt trust him not to jump out of the garden) and he has a long tether so can run around.
I take him with me to the yard when I do the horses, he is loose and he comes out riding with me too- I admit he is very well behaved and super with other dogs/animals/people which is what allows him so much privilege and I wouldn’t be able to do that with any dog - but, it is possible to get them to fit in with your lifestyle.

Maybe take him to the yard and to begin with keep him in the stable, then gradually let him look around and be loose, be with you when you are riding in the arena etc.
I know when we got ours I had to concentrate on him so much when I was with the horses but now he knows how it all works and that he is expected to behave I don’t really have to think about him.
 
If it is three days a week it will be fine. If he is OK with people perhaps a neighbour or someone could let him out in the garden for a pee midday? If not he will cope for all day, and yes if he could then come to the stables and have a quick pee and then be tied up/in a cage wghere he can see what's going on that will be fine.
Some dogs do have to cope with less than ideal living conditions and I wouldn't get stressed about it, they are more flexible than we give them credit for. I used to leave my dog all day when I worked long hours, she could go out to the garden but she just slept all the time.
 
"Borrow My Doggy" (it's like a dating app, but for dogs and would-be volunteer dog walkers) might help you find someone in your area who could take the dog out during the day. You have to pay to list your dog, but in the long run it would be cheaper than paying a dog walker. Be sure that any helpers are aware of, and can cope with, your dog's behavioural issues. Good luck. Single life isn't all bad!
 
Bruce the Spruce said:
"Borrow My Doggy" (it's like a dating app, but for dogs and would-be volunteer dog walkers) might help you find someone in your area who could take the dog out during the day. You have to pay to list your dog, but in the long run it would be cheaper than paying a dog walker. Be sure that any helpers are aware of, and can cope with, your dog's behavioural issues. Good luck. Single life isn't all bad!
Click to expand...

I suspect that wouldn’t work because of public liability issues with an aggressive dog ?
 
Thank you all for your words of wisdom, H&H can be such a supportive place.

There are a few workable ideas to try out if the worst does happen. I would be moving back to my house 20 miles away so my partner wouldn't be available, not that I think he would in that scenario anyway!

Single life is great! It's just my new addition which worries me. Reality is, I would put horse on loan/share rather than give up the dog, he's had a tough little life
 
[QUOTE

Single life is great! It's just my new addition which worries me. Reality is, I would put horse on loan/share rather than give up the dog, he's had a tough little life[/QUOTE]



Good for you for having a positive attitude and looking on the bright side. And really don't worry, the dog and the horse will be fine as long as you are. Just remember that the dog is lucky to have a loving home - there are plenty who don't. Well done and stay positive!
 
When I started working full time I had two elderly labs and a young lab. I managed to find a local lady who had dogs in her house during the day for the young one . I took the other two in the car to work with me, parked under trees and left the boot open. (You could tie to the car with a lunge line). Then at break and lunchtime I walked them, or just sat in the sun with them as they were old and didn't walk much, but they appreciated the company. Other people on different break times to me would also go and hang out with them, (once they had had an introduction with me there). It worked out really well for them,much better than being home alone all day.
I hope you find a solution
 
Imogen Rose said:
When I started working full time I had two elderly labs and a young lab. I managed to find a local lady who had dogs in her house during the day for the young one . I took the other two in the car to work with me, parked under trees and left the boot open. (You could tie to the car with a lunge line). Then at break and lunchtime I walked them, or just sat in the sun with them as they were old and didn't walk much, but they appreciated the company. Other people on different break times to me would also go and hang out with them, (once they had had an introduction with me there). It worked out really well for them,much better than being home alone all day.
I hope you find a solution
Click to expand...


I had thought about doing the car thing twice a week, leaving the boot open to allow plenty of fresh air
 
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